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eXile - Issue #185 - Whore-R Stories - The Coal Miner's Daughter - By Mark Ames Moscow-based alternativenewspaper Search the eXile All Issues This Issue This Author This Column | Advanced Search... Email thousands of beautiful Russian Ladies! Home | Archive | Club Guide | Restaurant Guide | Songs | Field Guide To Moscow | Political Trading Cards | About Us Browse Column (19) Previous (12) Next (6) The Coal Miner's Daughter By Mark Ames ( editor at exile ru ) Browse Author (147) Previous (101) Next (44) I went to two parties and two nightclubs over the weekend, and the whole time I don't think I talked to a single woman. Or if I did, I don't remember it. That's because I had about as much lust in me as a box of fax paper. As Sunday night wore on and I was supposed to get started on this issue, I started to feel the first little jolts of lust shocking my loins. It always happens this way when I have a lot of work to do, and I've let that work fester without treating it. So rather than write, I hooked onto www.vipdosug.ru and found myself a whore. Her name was listed as "Lara," and she appeared to have a thin, taut young body, long red hair and nice small breasts that I could cup in my hands. She claimed that she was 20 years old, though by her picture she appeared to be 18. And she charged $100 for a two hour visit. When I called and gave her my address, it was clear she was an out-of-towner. I had to explain where I live a few times. She promised to be over in an hour, but since she "lived" (to the extent that a whore lives somewhere) only two metro stops away, she was at my podezd within 40 minutes. The dezhurnaya downstairs called my home phone. "Mark! A dyevushka's here to see you!" she barked, disapprovingly as always. It's strange, you pay those old babushka a quarterly stipend to "protect" you, and all they do is make you feel self-conscious every time you order a whore delivered to your door. Where's the logic in that, I ask. When she arrived at the door, I could see why the dezhurnaya was a little more gruff than normal. My whore was accompanied by a thug who looked like something right out of a Dorozhny Patrul jail line-up: he was thick, about six feet tall, in a black leather coat, black pants, and one of those black leather ski caps with the black cloth rim, and thick flat-toed shoes. I caught it all in one glance because I've seen these "collectors" join their whores about 20% of the time, and they all look and dress alike. As per their orders, I paid the "courier," the guy whose job it was to collect the cash. I closed the door and he left. Lara didn't look a whole lot like her photo, but as I've said many times, we're talking about used cars here, folks. They always look a lot cleaner and shinier in the photo than they do in person. Lara had dyed her hair black, and that made her face seem much harsher than in the photo. The features were more chiseled and broad and square rather than soft and angled and young. Her teeth had large gaps. She wore a black t-shirt with the word "Love" written in pink and gold sparkles, and black pants laced on the calf. She entered my kitchen then stared out of the window down onto the Moscow river. "Klass," she said. "This is the nicest view of any apartment I've been to in Moscow, and I've been to a lot. Oh, I could really imagine spending time here. Yes. Just sitting here in the summer, watching the barges go up the river. That would be so nice. Yeah, I could live here." "Where are you from?" I asked. "From Ukraine," she said. Thank God for Ukraine, I thought. Some day, I'm going to have to give something back to that country for all it's given me. Buy Ukrainian Savings Bonds or something. "Where in Ukraine?" "You know Ukraine?" she asked in disbelief. "Some of it, yeah. I've been there a few times." "I'm from the Donbass region. The coal mines near Donetsk. I'm from Lugansk myself." "I know Lugansk, but I haven't been there." "There's nothing in Lugansk," she said. "It's dead. We have miners. They don't get paid. They work. They die. The state steals everything from them. But they keep working and keep dying. It's an awful place. Everything in Ukraine is awful. It's the worst governed state in the world." "Are there a lot of beautiful girls like you there?" I asked, flattering her. She wasn't beautiful, although she did have energy and that softened her hard face somewhat. "No, all the beautiful girls left Lugansk. Like me -- we're all gone!" "How did you get to Moscow?" "I took a train. See -- let me go back. I was a student. Well, I never studied. I was a bad student. I wanted to become a hair stylist, but I didn't do it. I was too wild, I couldn't sit still! I was also a sportsman. I did kickboxing until two years ago. I still know it." "Have you ever had to use kickboxing?" "For this...job?" she asked. Her face grew suddenly dour. "Yes, it's...let's say it helped me. I'd rather not remember it, okay? Do you mind if I smoke?" "Go ahead. So when did you lose your virginity?" "I was sixteen. I heard that if you waited longer, it would only hurt more and more. So I got it out of the way. I was stupid. Well, anyway I met a guy. We fell in love -- I did anyway. He said all sorts of things to me. Then I had a baby. And he went into the army. Left me. Never came back. Bastard. I'll never trust a man again. They're all traitors, you know." "So are women," I said. "Everyone's a traitor," she said, but without bitterness, in fact almost cheerfully. "They're all bastards and traitors, what can you do? So anyway, I had my child. I worked different jobs. I took a job at a carwash. That was my last big job in Lugansk. Some dyadya there, a client, told me I could do...this kind of work there. I didn't, but I came here on a train and it was easy to find this type of work. I didn't come here expecting it. I was hoping to get a job selling cosmetics, anything, but that didn't work so a girl I met told me about this agency, and well, this is what I'm doing for now. But my contract ends in a few weeks." "You have to sign a contract?" I asked. "That's how it works. Three months at a time. I've been doing it for, well, this will be four months. Then I'll quit. I send money back to my family in Lugansk." "You have family?" "I have an older sister and a younger brother. He's eleven. And my baby of course. My mother died. She died last year of cancer. It was horrible, and now we really need the money." "Your father?" I asked. It usually comes down to the father. "He's alive. He lives with a woman. He has another family." "How do you send the cash to Lugansk?" "I give cash to the train conductor here in Moscow, give him a cut, and he takes it down, and someone meets him in Lugansk and takes the cash. Otherwise it'd take forever, if I used Sberbank." "Aren't you afraid the conductor will steal the cash?" I asked. She laughed. "Hasn't happened yet. But I guess it could happen. You know, it's so nice to just talk with you. Usually I show up to a client's, and right away, he wants to...he just takes me and we have sex, then he throws me out. But with you I'm much more comfortable, just talking. I like this! What about you? Where are you from?" "California." "Oh, California! California! Why are you here? Everyone wants to get out of here and go to California!" "It's more interesting here." "Yes, ekstremalno," she said. "Extreme in Moscow. Terrorism in the metro. Terrorism at concerts. That's what you like?" "We have terrorism too, if you remember," I noted. She laughed. "Yes, I remember. The sad thing is that there's no terrorism in Ukraine. Nobody cares about Ukraine. It's not even worthy of a terror act because there's nothing anyone wants from Ukraine." She laughed and shook her head. As we talked, we drank tequila with grapefruit juice. I made hers strong, and she enjoyed each cocktail, drinking more than most whores drink. "I like three things. Fruit, cigarettes and alcohol," she told me, stealing a banana. After getting half-undressed in my kitchen, we took our act to my bedroom. She didn't shower -- I guess she was getting too drunk. But that was a shame because her vagina had that end-of-the-tour-of-duty odor to it, the butt grease odor that worn-in whores get. It spoiled an otherwise cheerful night. Her breasts were small and not too squishy. Her ass was also small, and though squishy, it fit into my hand. She rolled some kind of super-small, ridiculous Soviet condom onto my unit and started to blow me, but we had to take the thing off and put on a Durex. I was kind of hoping I'd get a condomless blowjob, but I wasn't forceful with her. I'd enjoyed her company, and the power I had over her time with me, too much to spoil it with a change in the tempo. She wanted to fuck. "I can't wait," she said. She rolled onto her back, but I pulled her on top of me and told her to sit on me. Her vagina was wet and tight enough that I didn't feel like I was getting the old "hot dog in a hallway" snapper that every john dreads. She didn't need to lube with a whore swipe. Lara was really enjoying herself on top of me, or at least faking pretty convincingly that she was. Her pleasure was rooted in believing that I was interested in her stories about herself, which I was, slightly. I was trying to feel some kind of genuine interest or make some connection, or trying to feel like I should try to make a connection, but it was all fake and all internalized -- trying to conjure up genuine interest in Lara's story was contrived in a ridiculous way, like faking my own orgasm while masturbating. My aunt once said to me, while pointing to her baby grandson, "They're nothing to me until they're at least four or five years old." That's sort of how I feel about humans: they're nothing to me until I've clocked so many hours with them, a lot of hours, hours usually spaced over a matter of years. Lara pulled me on top of her and pulled her legs back. I felt like I was going to cum too quickly and I didn't want to, so I slowed it up. "Come on!" she said. "I want it. Let's go, come on!" I started to go, but all the lust that had been missing suddenly caught up with me. So I rolled over again and pulled her on top of me. This time she wouldn't wait. She started to piston-fuck me, so I figured the hell with it, I was paying, who am I trying to impress? I grabbed her small ass and used it like a giant block of sandpaper to sand down my whole pelvic region. Suddenly I exploded, and she made sounds as if she did too. I don't know -- of all the ego things, getting a whore off is just not something that makes me feel like more of a man. I'm not sure how much she faked it, both for my sake and for hers, but when she fell on top of me her heart was beating as hard and fast as a mongoose's. But the best part of our evening was to come when she rolled onto her back. After a few deep breaths she asked me what time it was. Already after two in the morning. "Oh. It's already time for me to go," she said. "I should get ready to leave." She wrote down her phone number, but as soon as she handed it to me I knew I wouldn't call her. She deserves at least a pozdravlenie on Women's Day. But I know I won't do it. Which makes me just another traitor in her life. Issue In #185 04 Mar 04 (1 year, 10 months old) Also in this Issue The Ugly Truth Feature Story byMarkAmes Moscow's girls have become uglier, and are getting increasingly ugly every year. If Moscow is no longer a haven of lust, then what is the point of living here?... In Brief In Brief US-German Thaw... Forbes List of Whores... Fradkov Mania!... Bonner for Putin?... GULAGs Re-Open, Western Investors Cheer... Viva la Resistance! byJakeRudnitsky Welcome to Warsaw, hub of the exiled Belarusian opposition movement. All twenty of 'em... Democratic Putin Voltaire de Putin (French, 18th c.)... H. Puttin Thoreau (American, 19th c.)... Putinbo Lumumba (Africa, 20th c.)... Vladimir Lincoln (American,n 19th c.)... Ksenia + Denis Club Review byDenisSalnikov By the time you read this you probably know the big news in Russia from the past week. Everyone's talking about it... A Decadent Spring Dyev's Diary byLyolyaAndrosova Spring is a marvellous season for sexually obsessed people. Really, what can be a better start for spring, than a passionate sex?... Outsourcing Thomas Friedman byTamishPhreedman Globalization is here to stay. And that's a good thing not only for Wall Street, but for Main Street too... Bardak Calendar Bardak Calendar All For Ladies. Tseppelin... Loire Culinary Festival. Panorama... Fun Loving Criminals. Tinkov Brewery... Lidia Lunch. B2... DJs Layo & Bushwacka. The Warehouse... The Monster Mash Kino Korner byMarkAmes There is a new trend I'm noticing in Hollywood - the fake independent film, the gentrification of indy movies... Haiti 2: the Rerun War Nerd byGaryBrecher Haitian history just won't stop happening. Between that last column and this one, president was booted out... Comrade Terminator Book Review byJohnDolan "Full Spectrum Disorder: The Military in the New American Century" by Stan Goff... SIC! SIC! HOLOCAUSTIC... MOTHER TUCKER... THE IDIOT... WHORE-SICA... HARDY-HAR-HARBIN... THE CONSULTANT CURSE... Death Porn Death Porn FILL HIM UP... DON'T BE A BABY... QUEER WAY TO GO... THE MOTHER-IN-LAW... Disappointments Yuri Balabin, 24... Natalya Lukina, 31... Timur Aliyev, 18... Irina Godunova, 22... Alexei Vidolov, 28... Mandela Porn Mandela Porn byNatashaMarchetti In Malvern, an 83-year old woman went to investigate the noises in her kitchen and was raped for her efforts... Drilled-Down Veggies Restaurant Review byPeterArenseberg Avocado is a quiet and dignified place, tucked into a huge Stalinesque block near Chistiy Prudiy Metro station... Set Font This feature requires JavaScript. Other Formats Printer-friendly Plain Text Email Article Email address(es): Note: Affiliate Links By buying from these merchants, you help to support and enhance our online presence. 200 beautiful RussianBrides a week! Photo galleries, personal profiles, introduction services. Travel to Russia Visa support, hotels, train tickets, tours and cruises. See your message here! Write to web_adv at exile ru Interested in advertising? Write to the_exile at mail ru "the eXile". Tel: +7 (095) 795-3376 , fax: +7 (095) 245-1415 E-mail: office at exile ru (website-related issues: webperson at exile ru )
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www.myspace.com/nebula420 MySpace.com | Home The Web MySpace Help | SignUp Home | Browse | Search | Invite | Rank | Mail | Blog | Favorites | Forum | Groups | Events | Games | Music | Classifieds Betelgeuse "Everyday is exactly the same" Male 31 years old Canada Last Login: 01/11/2006 View more pics Contacting Betelgeuse MySpace URL: http://www.myspace.com/nebula420 Betelgeuse's Interests General Dynomite Add a video to your site Webratsmusic.com Music Nine Inch Nails, Led Zeppelin, Ima Robot, Nirvana, Green Day, The White Stripes, Tarzana, Pink Floyd, Arcade Fire, The Killers, Muse, Beastie Boys, Radiohead, Coldplay, Oscar Peterson, Hot Hot Heat, Eminem, Dandy Warhols, The Bravery, Janes Addiction, The Beatles, Written House, NWA, The Pixies, KMFDM, David Bowie, U2, The Doors, Duke Ellington, Dead Kennedys, Jimi Hendrix, The Strokes, NOFX, The Ramones, Public Enemy, DJ Sasha, The Who, Ministry, The Faint, Fugazi, The Chemical Brothers, Skinny Puppy, Gob, Rage Against the Machine, Bob Marley, Saint Germain, The Rolling Stones, Deftones, Pilate, Fat Boy Slim, John Kelly, Sex Pistols, The Clash, Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, Franz Ferdinand, The Hives, CCR, Bedouin Soundclash, Dr. John, Billy Talent, The Cure, Depeche Mode, Front 242, The Smashing Pumpkins, The Cars, Andy Stochansky, Dayglo Abortions, Junkie XL, The Valjerks, Pilate, Duran Duran, Moving Units, Moby, James Brown, AC/DC, My Life With the Thrill Kill Kult, Bloc Party, New Order, We are Scientists, whatever sounds good Movies Lord of the Rings, The Matrix, Kill Bill, The Ring, Star Wars, Van Wilder, American Pie, Saw, Snatch, Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, Fight Club, Fast Times at Ridgemount High, Scarface, any Michael Moore film, Usual Suspects, Pulp Fiction, Clockwork Orange, A Beautiful Mind, The Shining, Breakfast Club, Beatlejuice, Jurrasic Park, Cabin Fever, Supersize Me, Sin City, The Wall, Apocolypse Now, X-Men, Spiderman, Excorcist, Nightmare on Elm Street, Halloween, Crash, The Crow, Batman Begins, Wedding Crashers, War Of The Worlds Television The Simpsons, Survivor, The Amazing Race, Family Guy, 24, the Sopranos, Everybody Hates Chris, Daily Show, King of the Hill, The Chappelle Show. Books The Anarchist Cookbook Heroes Ghandi Groups: Family Guy , MiNu Vyrus - View our profile and listen to our music. View All Betelgeuse's Groups Betelgeuse's Details Status: Married Here for: Friends Orientation: Straight Hometown: Somewhere Body Type: 5' 11"/Slim / Slender Ethnicity: White / Caucasian Religion: Agnostic Sign: Pisces Smoke / Drink: No / Yes Children: Proud parent Education: High school Betelgeuse's Schools GALT COLLEGIATE Cambridge,Ontario Grad Year: 1995 Student Status: Alumni Clubs: Dando From 1988 to 1995 Betelgeuse is in your extended network Betelgeuse's Latest Blog Entry [ Subscribe to this Blog ] [ View All Blog Entries ] Betelgeuse's Blurbs About me: Just a guy. With a beautiful wife. And a beautiful little girl. With a job. A nice place to live. Couple of cats. Bling MySpace Editor Who I'd like to meet: Jimmy Page, Trent Reznor, Howard Stern, Michael Moore, Quentin Tarintino, Al Pachino, everyone from Ima Robot, Steven King, John Stewart, Bill Gates, Roger Waters, David Gilmore, DJ Sasha, Seth MacFarlane Betelgeuse's Friend Space Betelgeuse has 66 friends. nine inch nails Ima Robot TARZANA Brent Dave E.K. Written House The Bravery Hot Hot Heat View All of Betelgeuse's Friends Betelgeuse'sFriends Comments Displaying 17 of 17 comments ( View/Edit All Comments ) Snapple iPud Jan 10, 2006 12:05 PM Manola Jan 7, 2006 07:41 AM Cheers for hookin up dude, really dig the bands your into!! Looks like you where pretty comfortable on that seat, what motivated you to ever move from that spot??? Mike / Manola Dave E.K. Jan 5, 2006 03:55 PM we got married in the bahamas on the beach in sept.03 but we had a small buddhist wedding previous to that in july can't do the 12th unfortunately, i work monday to thursday 4:00pm to 2:30am just noticed skinny puppy in your music list - good stuff buddy, high five Dave E.K. Jan 4, 2006 10:10 PM hey man, happy belated new year to you and heather and the little angel maybe we can hook up again in 2006 sometime Brent Dec 30, 2005 06:14 PM Dude, I never took you out of my top 8! The page must be doing something screwy. Ima Robot Dec 26, 2005 11:32 AM Merry Christmas, we added STD Dance for you! Brent Dec 25, 2005 11:24 AM Hey Wes, I'll call you tuesday or wednesday and make some plans with you guys. Have an Awsome Xmas. Dave E.K. Dec 14, 2005 03:54 PM fans eh? well i saw dan evans the other day and he didn't mention having any but i haven't seen pete armour in a while and i sent a friend request to your wife but she has denied me thus far :'( Brent Dec 14, 2005 12:42 PM Oh Ok....I'll give them a try. But you know me man, I'm pretty picky when it comes to anything that has more than 3 chords and doesnt include 1-2-3-4!! at the beginning. Brent Dec 14, 2005 08:08 AM Ya man go ahead and promote bands you like on my page It might open people up to new stuff....Not me though, I'm set in my old ways. Dave E.K. Dec 10, 2005 08:28 PM yeah man - that march break madness show was crazy because i had to play twice in a row, potato house and then us you have any recordings? i used to have a tape with 'i want you dead' on it but i lost it Written House Nov 29, 2005 03:22 PM Good point on Ann but we're trying to keep her a secrete.... TARZANA Nov 18, 2005 05:03 PM I think it's safe to say that you're the best fan we have in North America. Joe Kuhl Nov 15, 2005 08:16 PM Thanks for the add Wes TARZANA Nov 11, 2005 08:35 PM that concert would be very hunter s. thompson. Dave E.K. Oct 30, 2005 11:12 AM what's up man, been a long time i'm in but only if we play at the cave - you remember all your lyrics or what? Brent Oct 30, 2005 10:41 AM I'm in!! Gun Bunnies reunion would be awsome!! I'm sure Dave E. is up for it...I don't think Lee plays drums anymore...maybe we'll get Jimmy Pee from Donnie Washburn's old band....that'd be hilarious! Add Comment About | FAQ | Terms | Privacy | Safety Tips | Contact Myspace | Promote! | Advertise ©2003-2006 MySpace.com All Rights Reserved.
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