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Rhino -- I Need MySpace: Confessions of a Validation Junkie - Rzine # 666 All Products Music Videos Articles Columns Reviews NEW! Podcasts Press Releases Tour Dates Rhino Recommends Newsletter New Releases Upcoming Releases Rhino’s Finest Gift Ideas NEW! 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Chances are they're trolling about on MySpace.com, answering emails, sending friend requests to scantily-clad bimbos (who probably gangstered their profile pictures from porn sites), posting comments on the pages of not-so-secret crushes, and stalking the pages of those for whom they are harboring all manner of psychopathic inclinations. Sounds scary? It is. But mostly because you know exactly what I'm talkin' about, and it's weirding you out. Hey, don't trip, it weirds me out too. And have I got a story, morning glory. I'll get to it. Eventually. This, in essence, is a follow-up to a feature that I had written last year for Rhino.com. Apparently you kids grooved on it in a big way, and I thank you. I actually just revisited the original to try to put it in context, and couldn't figure it out. Evidently, my love-hate relationship with this weapon of mass social deconstruction continues to this moment (I had called it a weapon of mass social construction in my first installment, but now I know better). It's not so much that MySpace severely fucks with my head—even though it absolutely does (and many others' too, as I have been relieved and appalled to discover when comparing notes and confessing reconnaissance missions that are mad-genius in nature and alarming even to myself). Rather, it's that the instant I step into MySpace, I am lost in the vortex for 8 or 10 hours. And I just don't have that kind of time. Some people log in and out in a matter of minutes. Not moi. I have been ignoring friend requests and messages for two weeks. Just like laundry, the longer you let it pile up, the longer it's gonna take you to get through. I can't remember the last time I signed on to MySpace or Friendster, but we're about to find out. Friendster, though the pioneering precursor to MySpace, has long since been eclipsed by the trendier, less geeky, and more sleek MySpace equivalent. But when last I was bitching about these tangled Webs, I had 12 friends and zero comments on my Friendster page. On MySpace, I have 420 friends and 183 comments. Unprocessed friend requests amount to—well, we're about to find out. It's a sick and twisted game of validation, and now that I'm a real playah, I need my fix. Also on my MySpace laundry list: I want to change my headline, post a remembrance about a deceased acquaintance, leave a poem (disguised as a comment) on a guy's page (which means I am gonna out us both to everyone who's clocking either of us, and judging by the however many thousands of profile views on my page, never mind his, this literary act of emotional suicide might not sit well with his royal prissiness, since he's in heavy denial about our deal), and finally read some friends' blogs. They always read mine and post comments, so I feel like a shit for not reciprocating. There seems to be an unspoken social contract of mutual public validation in this bizarro parallel universe. Incidentally, MySpace was recently acquired by Fox. I daresay that the site runs way slower now, a symptom, in my estimation, of the corporate malaise. But never mind that. You gotta wonder why someone is on MySpace in the wee small hours. Coffee and cigarettes? Wine? Recreational pharmaceuticals? Some combo thereof? Admittedly, when I note the time of a certain someone's log-in at, say, the uncivilized hour of 8 a.m., I am confident that he is not in hook-up mode. I exhale a private sigh of relief and carefully set down my shaking wine glass. It takes a wrought-iron constitution to contend with this cybersocial clusterfuck. But to quote Tom Petty, "I keep going back again cuz it's so hard to kick it." I was in the frozen edibles department of Trader Joe's the other night when I heard one overgrown frat guy say to another, "Have you heard of MySpace? I just posted a profile..." I wanted to hear the rest of his bragging rites, but was too hungry and anxious to locate a low-fat burrito, that I didn't have the patience to hear about what would presumably be a recount of some email proposition from some bimbo that inevitably came to naught. And speaking of the plight of the woefully unattached, I have actually responded to MySpace bulletin questionnaires asking, "Are you single?" with the snippy repost, "Would I be here if I had someone better to do?" Not surprisingly, a friend told me that he had to delete his MySpace account because it was "hurting his girlfriend too much." Yes, the semi-anonymity of MySpace affords, um, ladies and gentlemen the opportunity to be the playahs they always wanted to be (a damn noble aspiration, I daresay), causing the sorry-ass downfall or drama-packed implosion of more than one worthwhile romantic relationship due to the nearly-irresistible siren's call of lurid hook-ups and very public displays of validation and more-often-than-not untoward affection. I have recoiled many times from the discovery of such slobberings all over someone's page and/or images, as well as their well-placed droolings in the comments and photo indexes of others. It's my train wreck, and I'll look if I want to. As a validation junky, I need the gigantic fix that everyone else seems to get (even though I pretend I don't), and I don't get nearly enough. Though I'm still waaaaay better looking in person, I have nonetheless been recognized on The Scene by MySpacers, and I still ain't gettin' no love. My friends post accolades for me, but they're my friends, and no doubt secretly pity the lack of adoration, desirability, and pursuedness that are so blatantly in absentia from my MySpace page. It kinda blows. As a writer, I use my powers for good and not for evil (believe it or don't). I am actually in the process of playing a MySpace version of Cyrano de Bergerac in order to acquire some essential information. Woodward and Bernstein would be proud. However, a former friend of mine is not. That's why she's off the A List. Hopefully I will be able to finish this amusing petite vignette and meet all other obligations (including mailing back her DVDs) before the Internet Police take me away. This venerable website has recently posted a MySpace profile—www.myspace.com/rhinorecords. I am going to send a friend request, and then shamelessly pimp my words on Rhino's page. Interestingly, I have witnessed a backlash phenomenon: bands will self-promote on MySpace to their 8,769 "friends," and 20 of them will show up for a gig. That's because everyone is trapped in the MySpace vortex and can't find their way out in time to go anywhere. Or maybe they're not inclined to leave the comfort zone of MySpace. Either way, you don't have to be a card-carrying Mensa member to understand that people are becoming social retards because of it. The bimbos are becoming more embarrassingly aggressive in pouncing on their prey, and the sperm-carriers are becoming exceedingly lazy because they no longer have to try. If you post it, they will come. In fairness, I have seen the MySpace community rally to the cause: impressive turnouts for benefit concerts and memorial services that have been announced there prove that every once in a while people can actually log off and get their asses in gear. Though it's a drag it takes a tragedy to make it so. It's 6 of the clock in the a.m. of a Wednesday night/Thursday morning. Time to waste away again in cyberville... Ah, Friendster.com. I never thought I would feel sorry for a website, but I do. A pop-up window promises changes and improvements. "You said jump, and we did," promise "Your Friends at Friendster." I also feel like a heel forabandoning my page. After all, it was Friendster, not MySpace, that put the asocial cyberwheels in motion. I have 11 friends, two of whom logged on this very night. My profile has been viewed zero times since 09.01.05. I think I last logged on in late December of '03. Yikes. Maybe if I do a search on a couple of Friendsters... Never mind. Time to bounce, kidz; this party is sooooo over. As far MySpace.com: my last log-in was 10 days ago. Not long enough to suit me, I daresay. I have had 6,462 profile views since13 October 2003, when I created my profile, and 182 comments. I have 10 unread messages, 35 friend requests, six new comments, four new image comments, three new blog responses, and countless event invitations. It's high noon, and I've been on MySpace now for six hours. My profile views have jumped to 6,497. My friends list is now 436, as there are many requests I've not yet approved. However, I've done my share of spreading some genuine validation around MySpace, replied to most of my messages, declined three dates, accepted one, and tried to post that bit of priceless poetic genius on a certain someone's page, forgetting that his royal prissiness must approve all comments before they go live. Do you think he will or do you think he won't? Somehow, some way, some time, a vile individual got added as a "friend" to my page. Nonetheless, I know where the delete button is, and I'm not afraid to use it. You may think I'm a hypocrite based on the major hissy fit that was enjoyed by all in my first installment of Don't Kill Me Now . I'm not, though. I've only made a contentious peace with this cyber-phenomenon that has consumed so much of my not-so-free time. At least I'm not one of those people who insist that MySpace is a bunch of bullshit so they can cover their vulnerable asses in the likely event of a cybersocial misfire on the illusion of their popularity. Like anything else, what we do and what we say will impact someone somewhere. The audience is listening, boys and girls. I just stumbled upon a page that has 422,010 "friends" and 130,843 comments. I feel another hissy fit coming on. To make matters much worse, MySpace has added a new feature whereby you can select and order your favorite friends' pix on the front page of your Space. Can you imagine the shit storms brewing, including mine? It doesn't help matters that I remain waaaay better looking in person, as well as a very jealous goddess. And so goes the tale of this nightingale... Let us know what you think. A word about submissions: We post what you give us, so please don't include your email address or any personal info. Your comments reach Rhino, not necessarily the writer, so don't expect a reply from them (or us, see our help section for contact info). We gather and post your submissions in batches, so do expect a short delay. And don't get bent if we edit your comments. We probably won't, but we reserve that right. Comments: i think i can relate. current time: 1:49am. sincerely, -another myspace junkie still stuck in the vortex nice work, sister The boy is the naught. I don't own a myspace. for this exact reason. Anything you can spend six hours of your life on, without developing any real skills or actual human interaction, or even really "having fun", shouldn't be considered part of your daily routine. It's sad to think that real relationships, and real interaction, has been neglected in favour of comments and friends lists. It's not unlike television in that way. Which I also don't watch. but enough about me. f myspace. I am really glad that I do not use myspace. Good luck kicking the habit. -a non-user of myspace The Hate Machine Burns Clean Nine Inch Nails' Trent Reznor Meets Fear and Loathing Halfway Live in L.A. (or Thereabouts) Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival 4/30-5/1/05 Bryan Harvey Remembered Well Rhino Recommends Big Star - In Space Best Of 2005 The Top 20 albums according to Rhino.com contributing writers TBS Tunes Fun Tracks Rhino & TBS Crack Up The Jukebox With TBS Tunes: Fun Tracks Wisecracks Queensrÿche CD REVENGE, ROCK, REDEMPTION -- QUEENSRCHE'S OPERATION: MINDCRIME II T. Rex Reissues Pt. 2 Happy Tanx-giving From Rhino Win an Autographed Pixies DVD The Lefsetz Letter In My Life The Lefsetz Letter 2005 Awards The Lefsetz Letter Home Again home :: news & notes :: store :: about rhino :: fun stuff :: help :: my cart :: privacy policy
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Amazing Swimmer Awesome Video / MySpace Video Codes Home | Memberspace | Submit Content | Contact | Privacy Policy Your source for funny videos , funny pictures and more updated daily. Be sure to bookmark us by clicking here. NEW!! We now provide you the video, game and picture codes to place any of our content on your MySpace or other blog! Search BoFunk Username Password ( Register | Lost Password ) Navigation Home Pictures Flash Games Soundboards Register Submit Content Memberspace Contact Categories Awesome Chicks Crazy Cute Fights Funny Interactive Nasty Other Painful Ridiculous Signs Stupid Ideas WTH Sponsor Amazing Swimmer Next Click here to add this video to your MySpace! IM to a Friend | Send to a Friend | Add to Favorites | Save to Computer | Comments We added another video server to hopefully speed up the videos, if you have any trouble, please contact us by clicking here and let us know and please include the link to the video. -- Random Videos Please link to: More related videos you may like Rubik Cube Blind Fold F1 Crashes Fashion Show One Wheel Bike Burger Paper Close Lightning strike Plane Landing Endless Picture More Foosball Cellular Gun MySpace / Xanga / Blog Video Code Options Video Embed Codes Add Directly to MySpace Thats right!! You can now insert the video directly into your MySpace profile without having to copy the code! Open another web browser (leaving this window open) and login to your MySpace account. Then simply select where you want the video to go from the dropdown below and click "Add to MySpace" ! -SELECT FROM BELOW- Music General Movies Television Books Heroes or Copy and paste the code where you want it (This works on MySpace, Xanga, etc.) Video and Code Provided by BoFunk.com Copy to clipboard Video Link Codes MySpace Codes to Link to the Video With Thumbnail Image (example) Watch Video Here Amazing Swimmer Copy to clipboard MySpace Codes to Link to the Video (Text only) Watch Video: Amazing Swimmer Copy to clipboard Read and Post Comments on this Video bigcassey That is bloody awesome!!!! Can't say a bad word about that!!!! Well done to that guy!!!! 05.17.05 shin gouki deeeem he's good 05.18.05 Please login to post a comment or register here Buddies MySpace Picture Codes Funny Stuff MySpace Image Codes Time Killer Kontraband WTF People Top Humor Sites Insane Videos Link Partners Free Downloads Need For Fun Funny Video Clips Clip Dump Ringtone Dump Funny Videos Unoriginal Funny Videos Hans-Wurst Entertainment Crazy Babysitter Priceless Funny Pictures Humor Guide!! Funny Videos Crazy Fun madsalmon.net Humor4You Funny Web Zone! Hawt Priceless Funny Videos Twisted Gaia Flush The Web Doshur Raw Meat Funnymovies.net First-Ward Play Music AchterIn I am Bored mpam.gr Free Ringtones More Sites Add Your Site All Rights Reserved - Design BoFunk 2004 - Images & content their respective owners Page took 0.847748 seconds to load.
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Trouble in -Land 10 Jan 2006 at 3:05am eSchool Online - The eSchool News Ed-Tech Insider leverages Clarity's expertise in both education and technology. Clarity contributes logistical and t... Yahoo Jams On Webjay Buy 10 Jan 2006 at 6:43pm WebProNews - The portal company starts the week after CES with a new social networking company purchase; this time Terry Semel's M&A have picked up mu... The Next Generation: Lowe talks "Nextwave" 10 Jan 2006 at 10:04pm Comic Book Resources - In 2005, Marvel Comics Editor in Chief Joe Quesada promised that "Young Avengers," a series that was generally ridiculed before... Hot for Teacher: Rating Profs Online 11 Jan 2006 at 7:00am Village Voice - When Rebecca Walkowitz enters her classroom, the chatter stops. The 35-year-old carries herself like a woman nearly twice her age, but... Rooney Rings In New Year With New Album 11 Jan 2006 at 12:41am New University Newspaper - Ending their year with a performance at The Chain Reaction in Anaheim on Dec. 1, Rooney tested some new songs from their up... Numb Ones to tour with "Idol" finalist 10 Jan 2006 at 7:26pm Palm Beach Interactive - home events restaurants music recreation getaways tgif movies bars & clubs arts attractions tv more... Learn more about our n... Reality Experts: ?Texas Ranch House? saddles up 10 Jan 2006 at 7:26pm MSNBC - January's a busy month for reality shows. "Dancing with the Stars" and "The Bachelor" have already returned, with "Beauty and the Geek," "Amer... Sending a negative message ... 10 Jan 2006 at 8:20am Sentinel & Enterprise - By Marisa Donelan LEOMINSTER -- Sonjit Tumber logs on to a Web journal and an Internet messaging program to catch up with frie...
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