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www.myspace.com/jackendino MySpace.com | Home The Web MySpace Help | SignUp Home | Browse | Search | Invite | Rank | Mail | Blog | Favorites | Forum | Groups | Events | Games | Music | Classifieds Videos | Directory | Search | Top Artists | Shows | Music Forums | Music Classifieds | Artist Signup jack endino Grunge / Psychedelic / Rock "Hmmm... that failed to suck." United States Profile Views: 3691 Last Login: 01/07/2006 View more pics Contacting jack endino MySpace URL: http://www.myspace.com/jackendino jack endino General Info Member Since January 23, 2005 Band Website jackendino.com/ Band Members Members? Still got 'em all... Influences Hmmm... Pretty much the history of loud rock, 1968-present. But mostly late 60's psych, early 70's hard rock and prog, late 70's punk, early 80's metal and post-punk, late 80's heavy rock (i.e. grunge) and late 90's heavy rock (i.e. stoner rock). On the other hand, there's the Art Bears, Socrates Drank The Conium, Van Der Graaf Generator, the Groundhogs and James Brown... OK, that probably didn't help much... Sounds Like No one else, hopefully. OK, it's loud. There are guitars. Record Label Wondertaker Records, http://www.wondertaker.com Type of Label Indie jack endino's Latest Blog Entry [ Subscribe to this Blog ] The Gigs! ( view more ) Back in Seattle... ( view more ) Still working in Brazil, home soon... ( view more ) [ View All Blog Entries ] About jack endino If you found me here, you probably know what I've been doing for the past 20 years (recording/producing a zillion bands in ten countries; playing in Skin Yard, Wellwater Conspiracy, Upwell, etc)... see jackendino.com for the gruesome details (ranting, production discography, photos, articles, "grunge," Seattle, Nirvana, etc). Still doing it, BTW... recent examples: The Beautiful Mothers, Black Halos, Makers, Upwell, Zeke, Jodi Hates The World, Dirty Power, etc... see friends list. But the whole point of me being here on MySpace is this: I recently finished my third solo record Permanent Fatal Error, and it's out now on Wondertaker Records of SF. I play guitar (lots) and sing, and wrote all the tunes. It is very loud. It took me ten years to make it. Why? Cuz it needed to be as good as the records I was making for other bands... and that set the bar pretty high. I wasn't going to settle for some bullshit vanity record. Drummers on it include Barrett Martin (formerly of Screaming Trees, Mad Season, Skin Yard), Josh Sinder (Accüsed, TAD, The Insurgence) and even myself on a few tunes. Bassists include Rob Skinner (Coffin Break, Earthworm), Alex Sibbald (Accüsed), Pat Pedersen (Skin Yard, Sister Psychic), and myself. Everyone played their asses off. (Thanks guys!) Reviews that are starting to trickle in have been pretty gratifying; people are definitely "getting it", one by one. Nope, no corporate promo money behind me, folks! We're talking 100% DIY indy rock here (which is the best kind). If you've reviewed it, written about it, or played it on college radio, you know who you are, and I hereby thank you for supporting indy rock. (If you haven't seen it yet, be sure to watch for an odd-looking package in your inbox from "Wondertaker.com, SF".) UPDATE: CD is now available at CDBaby.com! YOU could be the first one on your block (or in your country) to own this unrelenting slab. CDBaby takes credit cards and will ship world-wide. I'll also sell it to you from jackendino.com , along with all the Skin Yard records and my other solo CDs, but I only take PayPal. RECORD STORES: In US, order from IDC, Carrot Top or Lumberjack-Mordam. In Europe, Cargo and their affiliates are handling it. If you don't see it in your local indy store, ask for it, they can order it. Thanks for reading and listening! jack endino's Friend Space jack endino has 959 friends. Skin Yard Rock Lord and Master The Black Halos The Grannies Zeke The Beautiful Mothers Lucid Nation Dirty Power View All of jack endino's Friends jack endino'sFriends Comments Displaying 50 of 80 comments ( View/Edit All Comments ) American School Of Warsaw Jan 1, 2006 03:09 PM Happy New Year Jack! Thanks again for everything. You are a great guy to work with. Here's to a great mix in 2006!!! See ya in few days! JEREMIAH Dec 29, 2005 09:54 AM i bow to you sir...if i see "produced by jack endino"...i know its going to be worth my cash. you have the highest pedigree of rock. Paul D. Dec 27, 2005 11:59 PM thanks for the add, i really love the music on this page. it fucking rocks. I&.39;d love to work with you sometime with my original project. thanks for the great tunes M Dec 26, 2005 12:18 PM Happy Holidays to my favorite producer ever.... and much praise and congrats on your latest masterpiece..... Gruff Mummies Dec 19, 2005 02:46 AM yeahhhh, brain damage island is still alive and kicking. nice to hear from you, i haven't seen you since recording. i heard you on the young & the restless tonight; very choice song picks. yeah, i was actually talking to kirk the other night about how rediculous it is that you haven't gotten a copy of the album yet...good lord! anyway, i will make sure it reaches you very soon, but in the time being, take care and hopefully see you soon! happy holidayz! love, paul & gm Skin Yard is two fucking words Dec 18, 2005 03:59 AM you sir are a nice man. I'm going to go sniff around your garage and see what i can purchase. also thankyou for the lovely comment you left me, it improved a rather average day. Stroud Dec 17, 2005 02:24 PM Good Stuff Bro...... Scrooge McFuck Dec 17, 2005 10:59 AM The marvelous Jack Endino - stop making pop-punk look bad, you sexy beast. trentalange Dec 17, 2005 10:34 AM I am a fan of your work. Thanks for listening to my music. Mark (Mr. Pix) is the greatest. He was amazing to work with. John Fisher Dec 17, 2005 05:41 AM Hey Jack....I wanna thank you for changing the way we hear. I know I myself am better off for it. Those songs on the player are wicked good eh! Love and Respect SquidFishous HOVEL Dec 16, 2005 06:35 PM Hey Jack, We love your work! The Black Halos Dec 7, 2005 02:07 PM Best Wishes to the Sixth Halo, "He who is not entirely unrocking" you are missed www.blackhalos.net kaskadia Dec 6, 2005 04:47 PM Mr. E, Thanks for the add and the comment. Can't believe i forgot to put Skin Yard under our list of influences. Psycho Rifle Power Hypnotized! hell yeah. Rocket Records Dec 6, 2005 11:32 AM We will reeks of awesomeness... Another five raceboats from my snails of months and my nine hammers will bomb my excoriated oblivious and perfect mister pants. Nixon Now Dec 5, 2005 10:53 AM hey jack so good to hear from you i remember that session very well too in fact it was the best recording session ive ever been involved in glad you dig nixon now ill send you a copy of the new album (out in january) is your po box adress still valid? cheers andi Sound Bites Dog Mastering Dec 4, 2005 10:33 PM Your new shit sounds killer! I'm definitely buying a copy... If you ever need a mastering engineer...look me up. -H DeKline/Sound Bites Dog Brian Akers Dec 4, 2005 06:32 PM Hi Jack, without sounding like the cliche comment, you ARE one of my heros and I appreaciate your acknowledgement. Thanks for making my world a little more tolerable...and if I ever make it up there, we will definitly go get a burrito for lunch...... Twilight Singers Dec 4, 2005 05:01 AM "You take my life and I'll take yours, too...you fire a musket and I'll run you thru..." stephan Dec 1, 2005 02:45 PM hey jack... have you ever read the article about you on wikipedia? i found it hilarious but maybe that's just me... "Jack Endino is a music producer. He has produced such notable bands such as Nirvana and Hot Hot Heat. He lives in Seattle, and will sit down and talk to you if you promise to buy him lunch." steve albini has a much longer article... but then again, he's steve albini ;) Mike Nov 29, 2005 10:31 PM Hey thanks for the add, met you briefly at Maxwell's in Hoboken, NJ a couple years ago when you were playing bass with Wellwater. New album sounds great! Rock on man. Helios Creed Nov 27, 2005 09:34 PM hey mr jack endino. remember the fun we had making the last laugh. we gotta have another last laugh and make another album to bend minds, your a great guitar player and a great engineer{^_^} American School Of Warsaw Nov 27, 2005 02:56 PM Jack, Thanks for all of your patience putting up with us for 12 hours! I think the drums came out great and it will be fun to get the rest of it put together. Looking forward to seeing you again after X-mas. Have a good one and we'll see ya soon! Sean and the boys of ASOW une chienne Nov 22, 2005 08:59 PM Listened to Sieg Howdy! the other day Good job with it! KEY NOTE SPEAKER Nov 16, 2005 12:47 PM I love Jack's Frankenstein guitar ;) I got to look, touch and even play it! The fretboard is so huge it dwarf'ed my tiny little hands :) DeFecTive Nov 13, 2005 03:22 AM Your sound permeated my college years. Thanks! >;) UPWELL Nov 8, 2005 01:43 AM Awesome show at the Funhouse! You sure can play the geetar...the action looked pretty low on that thing. What's up with that? One would assume that Jack would have a set of 15's at least. Great to see you. Welcome home, ~Steve Whitey McMexican Nov 7, 2005 02:57 PM Jack!! Good to see you on here...and good stuff as always! I'm sure I'll catch you at a show...somewhere...someday...take care! Tim Smith Nov 7, 2005 12:13 AM Hey Jack, great show today at Easy Street!! Tony Slug Nov 6, 2005 10:50 AM Foreskin YArd. Ziegler (TicTac Posse) Nov 1, 2005 08:01 PM Jack tought me cassette azimuth adjustment and for that i'll forever love him. BILLORDO Oct 31, 2005 06:34 PM a full!!!!!!!!!! yr music is great! Craig Oct 28, 2005 06:40 PM Good to see you back on stage again - the new Endino band rocks! lipstick101 Oct 27, 2005 08:44 PM You're funny. So is 11 years enough time for you to unpack? Seriously- we've gotta turn that place into a swingin' Den of Sin. P.S. You should email Glenn Danzig on this thing. He is a HUGE Skinyard fan. Xo, Your Hot Landlady Scott Oct 27, 2005 07:51 PM *NOTE: The hxc music is okay, but the scene itself really sucks. That's what I meant. Scott Oct 27, 2005 07:49 PM It's great to hear some true music when the world is full of fakes. p.s. The modern-day hxc scene is horrible. Avoid it at all costs. lipstick101 Oct 27, 2005 12:18 PM I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobatomy. Your album rocks- can't wait to catch a show. XO, M MuSick Records Oct 27, 2005 02:56 AM Thank you for joining the world of MuSick Records - you got good taste! Slave Traitor Oct 26, 2005 11:27 AM Hail Jack! We're looking forward to your show down at the Funhouse in early November. If only more people had ears like Jack, the world might hear things differently. Chach Headquarters Oct 26, 2005 09:15 AM The rowdiest, loudest, and nastiest band in the land is back, albeit in a different capacity. We're here for your pleasure. ChachMe.com There's a lot of love in this place, we can feel it. Sweet lovins' from Chach!! NEVER THE PIRATE Oct 25, 2005 03:58 AM a beautifull man that earth needs to thank for his existence Lagartija Nick Oct 22, 2005 10:32 PM Don't make me come over there and quote Gentle Giant lyrics outside your door! Jack Endino rules. Dead Ribad Oct 22, 2005 02:52 PM the mighty Endino! thanks for the add. i think i read your entire website, some great advice. i dig your resume, sir. Gruff Mummies Oct 21, 2005 01:26 AM Wicked tunes Jack. Tony Slug Oct 20, 2005 01:09 PM What the fuck is this shit Jack ? POWER GRUNGE ??? Speaking of power, the power chord shalt not be inpeded i.e. NO DISSONANT SHIT (Unless you are Greg Ginn...maybe) Just ribbin yo ass :D T One Man Sun Oct 17, 2005 01:08 PM Thanks for the add. I still pop in Skin Yard. If you ever talk to Ron Nine, tell him Dan from Grand Rapids, Mi. says hello. See ya, D Green Lizard Oct 17, 2005 08:18 AM Waah, sounds great, so does your stream soundwise by the way... what trickery is this?! cheers remi The Wurst Oct 16, 2005 03:49 PM Yeah, we love all that stuff. Your new songs sound great! Elusive kicks ass, man! Squid Row Daze Oct 14, 2005 12:53 PM oh man jack thanks so much for adding me and i just have to say that youre so cool and thanks for all the awesome things you have done for music! i like your new songs on here too keep it up mike emmick Europeans Records Oct 14, 2005 11:35 AM ============================ thanx Jack for add. You work for one of our bands - Blue Raincaot. And its a great album :) and congratulation for a new solo album! best whishes from POLAND Arthur from Europeans Records ============================ Daniel Oct 12, 2005 08:29 AM SO glad this is finally coming out...by FAR the best thing that you have yet released...by miles. It's an amazing collection of songs. Makes me proud to share a history with you! 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Myspace Layouts, Myspace Whore
Myspace Codes, Myspace Layouts, Myspace Whore Me, Myspace Image Codes and Myspace Tutorials - Deltox.com Myspace Codes, Myspace Layouts, Myspace Whore Me, Myspace Image Codes and Myspace Tutorials - Deltox.com Deltox Homepage Myspace Layouts Myspace Celebs Myspace Pranks Myspace Humor Myspace Generators Full Layout Online Now Contact Table Comment Box Overlapping Text Glitter Text Falling Objects Navigation Bar Whore Me Scrollbar Colors Extended Network Myspace Codes Contact Tables Music & Video Codes Cursor Codes Image Codes Hover Codes Page Border Code Marquee Codes Special Characters Color Chart 60 users online Myspace Layouts Layouts provided by hottlayouts4u ! LAYOUT CODE LAYOUT CODE LAYOUT CODE LAYOUT CODE LAYOUT CODE Tweaks Myspace Games Center your Profile Hide Extended Network Hide Contact Box Hide Details Section Hide General Info Hide Last Login Hide Friends Hide Comments Hide the Search Form Move Contact Box Remove Links Remove the URL Box Comment Images Reverse Friends Scroll Content Boxes Scroll Friends View More Pictures Myspace Help Confused? Myspace Graphic Help What is HTML & CSS? Video Tutorials Photoshop Tutorials Glitter and Graphics Glitter Text Generator *New Years Graphics* Welcome Signs Glitter Text Contact Contact MySpace Codes / MySpace Generators / MySpace Layouts / MySpace Celebs / Host Your Images / WRX TR / Codes for Myspace / Myspace Polls StuffAllFree.com: The find all free stuff directory / Web Design Perth Australia / Resources AIM Status Deltox.com is in no way affiliated with www.myspace.com
Bling MySpace
www.myspace.com/ MySpace.com | Home The Web MySpace Help | SignUp Home | Browse | Search | Invite | Rank | Mail | Blog | Favorites | Forum | Groups | Events | Games | Music | Classifieds Bada Boom Bada Bling " giveuswork " Male 25 years old Winooski, Vermont United States Last Login: 1/11/2006 View More Pics ContactingBada Boom Bada Bling Bada Boom Bada Bling's Interests General Chilling, Photography, Hiking, Webdesign, Graphic Design, Meeting new people, Going to shows, Eating Breakfast at Sneakers, Traveling, Snowboarding, Snowshoeing, Sleeping In, Reading Books and Learning New Things. Music DJ MSP Wombaticus Rex Television Kill your television. Fuck Cable. Bada Boom Bada Bling's Details Status: Single Orientation: Straight Hometown: St. Jiggy Body type: 5' 11" Zodiac Sign: Cancer Education: In college Occupation: Lab Technician Bada Boom Bada Bling's Schools St Johnsbury Academy St Johnsbury,Vermont Graduated: 1998 Student status: Alumni Degree: High School Diploma Clubs: Courthouse Crew, Shock Squad, and The Backwoods Bandits. 1994 to 1998 Bada Boom Bada Bling's Networking Photography - Other - Photographer Nature, Abstract, Macro, Black and White, Art Decor. I haven't quite nailed down my style, but really, I'm into it all. I do it for the artform, but I gots to get paid. Bada Boom Bada Bling is in your extended network Bada Boom Bada Bling's Latest Blog Entry [ Subscribe to this Blog ] [ View All Blog Entries ] Bada Boom Bada Bling's Blurbs About me: I was born in a cave in the backwoods of Vermont, but I now live in the enormous city of Burlington. I'm big into photography, I like really wierd, but beautiful photos . I do everything from landscape nature crap, to studio macro work. Lately I've been getting it on with my Holga. I love hand-developing and hand-printing with traditional black and white materials. There's nothing like reeking of fixer, and btw it really turns on the ladies. During the summer I like to hike and chill outside. In the winters I snowboard and snowshoe. When I'm not doing any of the above I'm studying graphic design and web design. I go to community college and work full time. My latest project is www.giveuswork.com I'm trying to build an online artist community, so if your into artwork or a serious artist check it out. Also check out, www.wombaticus.com . I'm sick of typing now, so if you want to know more about me your just going to have to talk to my funky ass. Peace Who I'd like to meet: Other photographers, artists, designers, musicians, and women, lots and lots of beautiful women. Bada Boom Bada Bling's Friend Space Bada Boom Bada Bling has 41 friends. dj bigears Heidi nate pat Future Methods Wombaticus Rex DJ Multiple Sex Partners Chris Dizzy View All ofBada Boom Bada Bling's Friends Bada Boom Bada Bling's Friends Comments Displaying 25 of 25 comments ( View/Edit All Comments ) Wombaticus Rex 1/11/2006 1:59:00 AM Ayuh the Jesuseatus page is becoming art, I put up a very highly relevant MSP track until we got the monstrous brutality of our songs up GEM 1/10/2006 5:21:00 PM Hey hun! thanks so much for sending me that pic! How'd the other new years pictures turn out? see ya Heidi 12/27/2005 10:54:00 PM Dude, i posted a blog with the photos.... I tried flickr first but every free online photo hosting place will only allow me to toss up so many pictures before giving me the finger..... Check it out and tell me if it works ok.... hope you dont have dial up or else good effin luck! lol GEM 12/22/2005 9:50:00 AM Hey Huney, I'd love to do a photo shoot with you! that'd be fun. I've been modeling for a photographer friend of mine here at Johnson for her final project, and I really enjoy it. That's where this bath tub one came from. I'm supposed to be Ophelia from Hamlet. Heidi 12/18/2005 9:51:00 PM Heidi 12/14/2005 6:02:00 PM Might be coming to VmufknT for a minute or 2 the weekend of xmas..... gonna b around xmas nite? I cant come up for new years but id love to kick it with ya if possible that nite instead!!!! lemme know what your up 2 homefry Muahs!!! GEM 12/7/2005 8:38:00 PM Chuck! Molly and Laura are coming home for X-mas and we all wanna go out and drink in B-town so you should come with us! it's been a while. would love to see you. viscus 12/1/2005 1:12:00 AM Yo man come snap our pix!!!!!!!!!! DJ Multiple Sex Partners 11/26/2005 9:55:00 AM My genius in non-refutable, thank you for your recognition of my superior Russian talents. Your new profile image is hilarious...even funnier is the notion that Thirtyseven's shriveled, useless penis could ever be a "Weapon of Mass Destruction"....I'm still laughing.... Chris Dizzy 11/18/2005 9:36:00 AM No doubt, Wetter than water's gonna drop harder than hailstones smashin car windows BLAOW Wombaticus Rex 11/11/2005 9:37:00 PM BADA FUCKIN BOOM BADA BLING THANKS FOR THE PHOTOS, BRO Wombaticus Rex 11/1/2005 11:55:00 AM did the photos come out FUCKING CRAZY??? Wombaticus Rex 10/18/2005 9:24:00 PM Drunken photo shoot? I think yes. Heidi 8/19/2005 1:19:00 AM pat 8/15/2005 9:28:00 PM i wish i had a sandwich pat 8/14/2005 11:01:00 PM mmmmmmmmmm. breakfast at sneakers........ nate 8/3/2005 5:55:00 PM Like the wombaticus site.. you did that? Nice work. His new shit is dope!! nate 8/2/2005 3:09:00 AM Like the picture. There's a party at my house this saturday. Why don't you swing by? Heidi 8/1/2005 6:11:00 PM Chuck dude! Youre an animallllll!!!!! pat 8/1/2005 3:03:00 PM .. pat 7/31/2005 7:59:00 PM goat pee? Heidi 7/31/2005 3:01:00 PM Yeah Id like to agree with nutlick.... "put up a photo fooo" Chuck bro. Youre way too hot shit to be hiding behind that grey image! nate 7/24/2005 4:16:00 AM put up a photo foo! Hawaii is niice, make your way out here, you got a place to stay for sure. dj bigears 7/18/2005 8:05:00 PM chuck chuck bo buck banana fana fo fuck me my mo muck its fuckin CHUUUUUUCK Heidi 7/18/2005 7:39:00 PM FUCK YEAH CHUCK!!!!!!!!!! Add Comment About | FAQ | Terms | Privacy | " target="_blank" Safety Tips | Contact Myspace | Promote! | Advertise | MySpace Shop ©2003 MySpace.com. All Rights Reserved.
MySpace Page Editor
G4 - Attack of the Show Home Shows Schedule Blog AOTS X-Play The Man Show Forums You're not logged in! Register | Login BLOG ON TV Ji Lee, Crystle Lightning Premieres: Wednesday 01/11, 7pm ET/PT > Full Show Schedule THE SHOW Videos Features Episodes Schedule Forums Newsletter Chat Meet the Staff Sarah's Links Contact AOTS Free Play Friday AOTS Shorts AOTS Webcams THE BLOG DVDuesday Free-Play Friday Fresh Ink Frugality Guests In the Field It Came From eBay! Kevin's First 50 Link Dump Live Calls Live Music Friday Products Projects Sarah's Damn Good Download Sarah's Damn Good Website Sarah's Gems of the Internet Software The Feed The Lush Top of the Show User Created Challenge User Created Favorites Videos Web Classics THE POLL Who Would Win in a Fight? Captain Picard Darth Vader A Liger View Results Pimp MySpace Posted by smoschella - 4:52 PM Monday, November 14, 2005 We (the royal 'we') temporarily modified the Attack of the Show! MySpace page using some free layouts, a little CSS styling, and a video that I hotlinked from the G4 website. For a friendly little contest, Sarah sabotaged Kevin's MySpace page and Kevin sabotaged Sarah's MySpace page with some minor changes. Vote in the poll on this very page to decidewho should be forced to keep their page the way it is for the week. Here are some of my favorite resources for modding your MySpace page: Thomas's MySpace Editor MyGen 2.5 Profile Creator nUCLEArcENTURy's Free Layouts (for the lazy) A quick warning: videos, nutty cursors, custom scrollbars and all thatother crazy CSS has a tendency to crash browsers. Go easy. Posted in Projects | Permalink Comment(s) Posted by Nephets - 4:55 PM Monday, November 14, 2005 Kevin's should stay. Evil clowns! Posted by sonic2 - 4:57 PM Monday, November 14, 2005 no i like emo sara Posted by BigBuddyWill - 4:59 PM Monday, November 14, 2005 Dudes, you fogotten some other myspace editors.Like that thomas's myspace editor sucks.here is one http://www.myspace-codes.com/http://www.whateverlife.com/http://www.pimpwebpage.com/ Posted by DCTU55D - 5:00 PM Monday, November 14, 2005 I like the Headline for Sarah's space: "Pereira's a Douche" - lmao. Posted by sonic2 - 5:02 PM Monday, November 14, 2005 wow i cant get to saras myspace it says error mabey 2 many ppl on it or somthing like that Posted by theperfect1 - 5:04 PM Monday, November 14, 2005 Kevin's should definitely stay.I just read Sarah's headline on her page. haha! Posted by darkrose11 - 5:08 PM Monday, November 14, 2005 haha that headline funny!!.. man sarah's myspace is soo much more "P.I.M.P." then our lovely.. "panties" (hahaha).. kevin.. sry man! Posted by FlyingWookieeOfDoom - 5:46 PM Monday, November 14, 2005 Sarah's actually looks cool...but...Kevin's is crazy as hell. Posted by hSCREAM_806 - 6:11 PM Monday, November 14, 2005 Kevin's page should stay.That look that Sarah's page has........not feeling it. Posted by Englishteaparty - 6:26 PM Monday, November 14, 2005 for some damn reason myspace wont let me in, I think I HAVE TO SART A NEW ONE Posted by Englishteaparty - 6:31 PM Monday, November 14, 2005 Sorry! an unexpected error has occurred. This error has been forwarded to MySpace's technical groupthats what it says!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm typing everything in right!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Posted by sonic2 - 6:44 PM Monday, November 14, 2005 yea i still cant get to sara's space Posted by tylertyler - 7:39 PM Monday, November 14, 2005 I love both Check out mine:http://www.spaces.msn.com/members/tylertyler/ Posted by Pipucho - 8:21 PM Monday, November 14, 2005 yo thats an un updated version of thoma's myspace editor, here is updated one(i dunno if thers even a more updated one than this):http://www.strikefile.com/myspace/reborn_3_5.htm Posted by lyberty - 9:33 AM Tuesday, November 15, 2005 Where's the Gems of the Internet Link section?I love Bobs! Posted by THAT_1_GAMER - 2:06 PM Tuesday, November 15, 2005 it hard to pick Posted by BatNumberOne - 4:18 PM Tuesday, November 15, 2005 http://www.chasebadkids.nethas everythingi think they should feature it tooit needs more hits-Nick Posted by Pc_DuDe_91 - 5:03 PM Tuesday, November 15, 2005 the only reason kevin chose that background because deep down if he knows it or not he is sorta emo cuz he doesnt wanna be lonely na im j/psarah did perfect for kevin's the insane clowns were perfect Posted by Nephets - 6:09 PM Tuesday, November 15, 2005 MyGen is a better editor than Thomas', but both are good (just for anyone who is concerned about picking one).I actually used Thomas', so, just use whichever out of those. :P Posted by pwn3d - 7:50 PM Wednesday, November 16, 2005 Wow, what a diffence.What happened to the cool kevin? Now all we have is the n00b one with like 9481 frineds.... I must ask.... WTF, HOW DID YOU GET ALL OF THOSE FRIENDS!Hit me back... Forrest Posted by pwn3d - 10:26 PM Wednesday, November 16, 2005 Wow, what a diffence.What happened to the cool kevin? Now all we have is the n00b one with like 9481 frineds.... I must ask.... WTF, HOW DID YOU GET ALL OF THOSE FRIENDS!Hit me back... Forrest You must Login or Register to post. SEARCH ARCHIVE < January 2006 > Mo Tu We Th Fr Sa Su 26 27 28 29 30 31 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 1 2 3 4 5 FYI New! - Subscribe to the AOTS Video Podcast: Grab our Attack of the Blog RSS Feed! • Check out Ever We Fall, the first band ever on Live Music Thursday! • The User Created Holiday challenge is on! Enter here . • Join the AOTS LAN party. • Here's some official Attack of the Show wallpaper . | ABOUT | PRESS | ADVERTISING | EMPLOYMENT | NEWSLETTERS | FIND G4 ON TV | Terms of Use | PrivacyNotice | © 2005 G4 Media, Inc. | Review Standards Action Blast The Man Show G4's Training Camp Star Trek: The Next Generation Attack of the Show Anime Unleashed Happy Tree Friends and Friends Cinematech: Nocturnal Emissions Street Fury Brainiac Cheat! Icons X-Play Fastlane More Shows
Whore Train
eXile - Issue #160 - Whore-R Stories - Whore-R Stories: the Sluts of Slutsk - By Mark Ames Moscow-based alternativenewspaper Search the eXile All Issues This Issue This Author This Column | Advanced Search... Email thousands of beautiful Russian Ladies! Home | Archive | Club Guide | Restaurant Guide | Songs | Field Guide To Moscow | Political Trading Cards | About Us Browse Column (19) Previous (1) Next (17) Whore-R Stories: the Sluts of Slutsk By Mark Ames ( editor at exile ru ) Browse Author (147) Previous (54) Next (90) I n the last issue, I made the claim that the line between a slut and a whore in Russia is rather blurred. In this, the second installment of Whore-R Stories, I'm going to examine the other side of the equation: The Slut. What better place to test the slut-whore-equation theory than in the Belorussian town of Slutsk. I nit you shot, folks. There really is such a town, located about 100 kilometers southwest of Minsk. Ever since my first and only visit to Belarus over five years ago, the land of Europe's last dictator has always held a special place in my heart (and other organs). Minsk, after all, is where I first discovered the White God Factor. But a provincial town with a name like Slutsk must have something much more than a White God factor - say, a Big Bang God Factor ... As a professional investigative journalist and veteran explorer of the FSU's hinterlands, I knew that fate, as well as desperation, would draw me to Slutsk and, like Stanley in the Congo, I'd report the exotic findings back to my readers. Only instead of bringing back shrunken heads, I hoped to bring back carefully preserved samples of chlamydia, smuggled on my person. The two-and-a-half hour bus ride from Minsk to Slutsk cost two dollars. On the outskirts of town there is a familiar cluster of 8 and 16-story paneli, Brezhnev-era housing projects, dirty white with blue or purple stripes straight down the elevator shaft. In the center of town the structures are smaller, a mix of pre-Revolutionary two- and three-story houses painted yellow, green and pink, side by side with Soviet concrete boxes. Slutsk is run by a Saiko. Literally. The head of the Slutsk city council, with its cookie-cutter Lenin statue out front, is named Saiko. Slutsk has one hotel, aptly named "Hotel Slutsk," on the main street, Ulitsa Lenina. There was fresh blue paint in the lobby. The elevator didn't work. I was given a room on the fourth floor. A single for $33, not exactly cheap. After wandering around town freezing my ass off for most of the afternoon while trying to get noticed, I took a rest in my hotel room then headed back out. It wasn't looking good. The two top restaurants were butt empty. I found a cafe that looked promising, slut-wise. Standing outside the entrance were two women - not girls, but women - bundled in cheap fur coats and hats. They smiled as I passed, and I said hello with a pronounced foreign accent. The cafe had only two patrons. One man was slumped in his chair; his friend scowled at me, one eye open. I sat at the far end and ordered 150 grams of cheap cognac. Just then, one of the women from outside the cafe entered, walked towards and then passed me, turned to leave, then turned around a second time and said to me, "We feel sorry for you being alone. Would you like to join us somewhere else?" "Sure," I said. "Meet us outside." She walked out. I downed as much of the cognac as I could take and asked the bartender, an aging woman, "Are all Slutsk girls this friendly?" "Only if the person is from out of town," she answered. I joined the two women outside the door. "That cafe was horrible, we couldn't even stand being in there," said the one who'd rescued me. Her name was Olga, and the other one was her younger sister, Yulia. They told me that there was a much better caf down the street with a better crowd. They were waiting to join a friend of theirs, Alla. We powerwalked along the ice as best we could to the next cafe, called V Dalee ot Zhyon, or Far Away From The Wives. It was crowded, packed mostly with young banditibees in black leather coats. A few had young girlfriends on their arms, cute ones too. Alla stood at the counter and ordered: a carafe of vodka, four crab and mayonnaise salads, sliced ham, bread, Sprite, and a bottle of Medvedovskaya Krov wine for Olga. Adding two more vodka carafes and other goodies, the whole bill came to nine dollars. I sat next to Olga, who told me that she'd spent the whole past week inside her apartment and that today, she'd decided to go out with her sister and Alla. I didn't really get a good look at Alla yet. Her face was either hidden in a full fur hood on the street, or she was at the bar giving endless orders. It wasn't until she took a seat directly across from me that I literally yelped, knocking into the table: her face looked exactly like the possessed witch in Army of Darkness, the same long shock of silver hair, a gray complexion, gnarled nose and a mouth full of metal teeth: "You shall never get the necronomicon! We shall feast upon your sooooooul..." I had to drink fast. It was clear that I was supposed to be paired up with Olga, who was passably attractive despite the complex wrinkles around and under her eyes. I stole glances at the mini-mafia molls, wondering to myself why I, considering my White God Factor, was stuck with a bunch of old hags, and whether I should try my luck elsewhere. But there was no elsewhere. Olga was thirty-three years old. She told me she'd been to Poland many times, and had recently been to Moscow. Her sister Yulia was twenty-seven. She was one of three sisters and two brothers in the family. I asked Yulia if all Slutsk families were so big, five children, not exactly the norm in modern Russia. "Yeah, we're all like this. I know a family of ten. There's nothing else to do." Yulia said she'd worked for six years as a dancer at Stary Zamok, the town's top restaurant. I assume that meant she was a whore, if the distinction matters. She seemed both proud and unhappy about having been a dancer there -- "It's the best restaurant in Slutsk" -- after six years, she had nothing to show, and now she worked in a factory. That's how she met Alla. Alla told me that the owners of the cafe respected her because just the night before, she'd found her "man" there with three other women and she beat the shit out of him and one of his lovers who hadn't managed to escape. "I beat him unconscious," she said, brandishing her fist and laughing. "You shouldn't mess with me. That bastard. I did everything for him. I worked and put a roof over his head, and he goes and takes three lovers." None of this was helping my mojo: aging women, a haunt who doubled as a man-beater, images of Alla having sex with some unemployed, salo-fattened prole, and him with his three lovers... Alla told me she'd once beaten the shit out of Yulia. That's how they became friends. Yulia lived in the same podezd as Alla. And Yulia carried on an affair with Alla's then-boyfriend. Alla found out, stalked Yulia, and stomped her. After that, they became friends. To prove it, they kissed like a pair of football players, smacking loudly but very un-sexually. Olga quietly emptied the bottle of Bear's Blood next to me. She was amazed that I was American. "I've known Polacks," she said. "I thought you were a Caucasian. You seemed nice and handsome, a foreigner, so I decided we should rescue you from the club." The night starts to get blurry here. I pushed myself to go on until the bitter end, to get the story. But the cheap liquor, the travel and cold suddenly put a sleeping spell on me. I remember we stumbled across the road to Stary Zamok, but it had closed early for lack of a single client -- on a Thursday night! They led me to some kind of second-floor club with a bar and a small disco. All I remember is ordering the worst pelmeni of my life, and eating it. Then stealing some of Yulia's horrific fried meat balls -- tongue meat in a brown chewy foam-like batter. I was burping up bad pelmeni meat into Olga's face as she tried to keep the mojo going. "I smell your pelmeni." "I know." "You want to sleep, don't you?" I was sound asleep in my chair for most of the rest of the evening, I mean deep REM sleep, until they mercifully decided to leave. Olga pulled me away from the other two and walked me downstairs. "You want to stay with me at my place, don't you?" she said. "Yes, I want to stay at your place," I said. She bundled me into a taxi, and I passed out again. Then awoke in the projects. We rode the elevator up to her apartment. A mountain bike blocked the door -- she moved it aside -- and in the first room next to the entry hall, I noticed the head of a young teenager, the Bobby Brady of Belarus, resting on a pillow. He told Olga that "he" had called a few times. "He" turned out to be her "man," as she called him, a Czech businessman who was part husband, part sponsor. Olga closed the door to her son's bedroom, which probably doubled as the TV room as well, and whispered to me, "My man feels that I'm with someone. Men can sense these things. You understand?" "Yeah, I understand," I said, stung, because for the most part men don't understand. She called her "man" on her phone, while I crashed on her bed, a double made out of two twins pushed together covered with a pink comforter. Olga woke me up and asked me if I wanted to take a shower. "No." She came back again what seemed like hours later with a towel. "Go take a shower," she said. I snapped the towel and lifted myself up. I couldn't pass out here. Good money had been sunk into the Slutsk expedition. And here I was, in the slut's very own habitat, as close to the kill as anyone could hope to be. The eXile's shareholders would never forgive me if I copped out now. She took her obligatory pre-sex dyev shower after seeing mine through. I kept myself awake by trying to record the details of her bedroom. It was modestly luxurious by early 90s Warsaw Pact standards. She had a gaudy pink light fixture, a kind of mini-chandelier with pink glass orchids and various blooming lamp pedals. Above the dresser mirror was a collection of German hair styling spray bottles. They must be hard to find in Slutsk -- I remember Czechs and Poles displaying their Western cans of spray and soft drinks in the early 90s. Olga also had large posters of scantily-clad women on her walls, including one in a bikini thong whose figure had been cut out from the rest of the poster and glued to the wall. When Olga returned I pounced. She wasn't what I'd expected: instead of the lumpy, smelly, sweaty body of a typical aging provincial slut, she was thin, much prettier with all her clothes off, with something of Meg Ryan's mouth (not that I like Meg Ryan) and a fashionable mom hairdo. The other surprise was how dry her snapper was. I remember what Dr. Limonov had written about older women's pussies -- "like glue" -- it was one of the reasons why he "gave advices" to "throw away older wife, get yourself young teenage girl." Her small breasts had large No. 2 pencil eraser nipples, but no matter what tricks I tried pulling out of my bag, her snapper was like cloth, like putting your fingers between worn leather cushions on an old couch. "It's been so long since I've been with a man," she told me. I tried to close the deal, but it wasn't working. "I'll get some cream," she said. She stood up and opened a drawer in her dresser. God knows how I managed to maintain wood during this -- I'm not happy about it, believe me. She squirted some cream into her hand and worked it into her gluey snapper. That made things marginally better. Finally I worked my way in. But for all my effort I didn't get much pleasure and nothing close to an orgasm. I passed out after - maybe five minutes, maybe thirty, maybe an hour, I really have no idea. Early the next morning I awoke with a rancid hangover and a mouth nearly as dry as her pussy. The neighbors upstairs were stomping around. "Let me put on some music," she said. She played some kind of Italian pop cassette on her box. "I've had a problem with my neighbors ever since I moved here," she said. "They don't work. They're both alcoholics. They wake up every morning at six and stomp around loudly. It used to be worse. They'd put on some kind of hard soles and stomp loudly on their wooden floor. I called the militia on them. It only made them angrier. So I went upstairs and demanded that they not wake me up at 6am. I screamed. They're a couple, in their forties, with a 16-year-old boy. They were rude, so I forced my way in and beat the hell out of both of them. They were so drunk, and I was angry. Alla's not the only one - I can do that too." It was hard to imagine Olga like Alla -- in the morning she appeared, in spite of her sandpaper snapper, even prettier. "I bought them carpeting. They took it. It's much better now, but it's still unbearable, isn't it?" "It's pretty loud," I agreed. It was hard to imagine that there was carpeting muffling their shoes -- it must have sounded like a construction site before. "I tried everything. I tried being nice. I brought back chocolates from Brno when I visited my man. The 16-year-old upstairs loved them too much. He called me a later and said, 'Those chocolates were so good. If you don't bring me more of those chocolates soon, I'm really going to make a racket upstairs, and much earlier than ever.'" "You should have told him that if he ever threatened you again, he'd never see another Czech chocolate in his life," I said. "I did. I told him, 'Who the hell do you think you are, you little bastard?! I should come up there and tear you to pieces. You're threatening me?! Forget the chocolates! If I ever see you..." " -- Okay, I see," said, interrupting her. These Slutsk girls...someone should hustle them in mud wrestling competitions. I asked her about her "man." They'd met a year and a half ago. She took a job in a factory in Brno, working on a line, tying ribbons around packages of paper napkins. "I had financial difficulties, I had to find work," she said. The owner of the factory walked the floor one day and spotted Olga. "He saw me, pulled me off the line, told me he didn't want to subject me to such work ever again, and said he'd fallen in love. Just like that. I wasn't so sure. He's almost 50. He's an older man, with a stomach." So I'm not the only one acting out Count Tolstoi fantasies. The Czech understood the true advantage of running a sweatshop using cheap Slavic labor: that stroll down the factory line, inspecting the women workers, rating them, fantasizing about how desperate they are, and finally, choosing whichever one he wanted to "rescue," acting out some 19th century European fantasy. "He wants me to move to Brno, but I don't want to," Olga said. "My son, I want him to stay in school here. He also wants me to move to Moscow, where's he's considering opening up another factory. Assembling furniture and other stuff. I went to Moscow with him a few months ago. There's a Czech mafia in Moscow. We all went out for dinner and a long night at the casino: me, my man, the Czech mafia and the local Russian mafia who would be the krysha for his factory. At the end of the night, most of them had left their phone numbers in my purse. I was so surprised when I saw what they'd done. Of course I didn't tell my man. It would just upset him." Olga had married and birthed her son when she was nineteen. Her first husband was an Army type and a loser. He always wanted to punish the boy. They divorced after five years. The boy didn't want to see his father -- he was happy to have him out of his life. The father moved to Minsk. They saw each other once every year or two. Olga's own family were sluchyaninie on her mother's side, Siberians on her father's. Her grandmother told her about the Nazi occupation of Slutsk. "Most of the time the Nazis were okay. My grandmother and grandfather lived out in their dacha. The Germans would come back and say, 'Ekks!' They wanted eggs and food. My grandma said they were polite and paid for everything. Then they went crazier. Once they locked up as many people from the village as they could fit inside a barn and set it on fire. My grandmother heard the screams." "Wasn't Slutsk a Jewish town before the Nazis came?" "Yes, there were many Jews here. The Nazis killed all of them." "Are there any left?" "Not that I know of." Her parents both worked in the railroads. Her father was a signal man. Now he's an invalid. About two years ago he'd injured his leg badly in a railroad track accident and didn't get proper treatment for it. Being the hardy peasant type, he didn't complain as it got worse. Then it turned green and black. "He got gangrene. They had to amputate it. Now he doesn't want to live. He tells me that he wants to die and not be a burden to us. The gangrene may have spread to his other leg. He may have to have it amputated soon." I asked about Belorussian medical insurance, the one I was forced to purchase through the hotel as a tourist. "Ha! What medical insurance! You're on your own here. Actually the burden is all on my shoulders. Everyone barely survives. My man helps out a lot. It's one reason why I'm with him. He's good for my son, for my family. He helps with so much." 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