Whore Train
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eXile - Issue #185 - Whore-R Stories - The Coal Miner's Daughter - By Mark Ames Moscow-based alternativenewspaper Search the eXile All Issues This Issue This Author This Column | Advanced Search... Email thousands of beautiful Russian Ladies! Home | Archive | Club Guide | Restaurant Guide | Songs | Field Guide To Moscow | Political Trading Cards | About Us Browse Column (19) Previous (12) Next (6) The Coal Miner's Daughter By Mark Ames ( editor at exile ru ) Browse Author (147) Previous (101) Next (44) I went to two parties and two nightclubs over the weekend, and the whole time I don't think I talked to a single woman. Or if I did, I don't remember it. That's because I had about as much lust in me as a box of fax paper. As Sunday night wore on and I was supposed to get started on this issue, I started to feel the first little jolts of lust shocking my loins. It always happens this way when I have a lot of work to do, and I've let that work fester without treating it. So rather than write, I hooked onto www.vipdosug.ru and found myself a whore. Her name was listed as "Lara," and she appeared to have a thin, taut young body, long red hair and nice small breasts that I could cup in my hands. She claimed that she was 20 years old, though by her picture she appeared to be 18. And she charged $100 for a two hour visit. When I called and gave her my address, it was clear she was an out-of-towner. I had to explain where I live a few times. She promised to be over in an hour, but since she "lived" (to the extent that a whore lives somewhere) only two metro stops away, she was at my podezd within 40 minutes. The dezhurnaya downstairs called my home phone. "Mark! A dyevushka's here to see you!" she barked, disapprovingly as always. It's strange, you pay those old babushka a quarterly stipend to "protect" you, and all they do is make you feel self-conscious every time you order a whore delivered to your door. Where's the logic in that, I ask. When she arrived at the door, I could see why the dezhurnaya was a little more gruff than normal. My whore was accompanied by a thug who looked like something right out of a Dorozhny Patrul jail line-up: he was thick, about six feet tall, in a black leather coat, black pants, and one of those black leather ski caps with the black cloth rim, and thick flat-toed shoes. I caught it all in one glance because I've seen these "collectors" join their whores about 20% of the time, and they all look and dress alike. As per their orders, I paid the "courier," the guy whose job it was to collect the cash. I closed the door and he left. Lara didn't look a whole lot like her photo, but as I've said many times, we're talking about used cars here, folks. They always look a lot cleaner and shinier in the photo than they do in person. Lara had dyed her hair black, and that made her face seem much harsher than in the photo. The features were more chiseled and broad and square rather than soft and angled and young. Her teeth had large gaps. She wore a black t-shirt with the word "Love" written in pink and gold sparkles, and black pants laced on the calf. She entered my kitchen then stared out of the window down onto the Moscow river. "Klass," she said. "This is the nicest view of any apartment I've been to in Moscow, and I've been to a lot. Oh, I could really imagine spending time here. Yes. Just sitting here in the summer, watching the barges go up the river. That would be so nice. Yeah, I could live here." "Where are you from?" I asked. "From Ukraine," she said. Thank God for Ukraine, I thought. Some day, I'm going to have to give something back to that country for all it's given me. Buy Ukrainian Savings Bonds or something. "Where in Ukraine?" "You know Ukraine?" she asked in disbelief. "Some of it, yeah. I've been there a few times." "I'm from the Donbass region. The coal mines near Donetsk. I'm from Lugansk myself." "I know Lugansk, but I haven't been there." "There's nothing in Lugansk," she said. "It's dead. We have miners. They don't get paid. They work. They die. The state steals everything from them. But they keep working and keep dying. It's an awful place. Everything in Ukraine is awful. It's the worst governed state in the world." "Are there a lot of beautiful girls like you there?" I asked, flattering her. She wasn't beautiful, although she did have energy and that softened her hard face somewhat. "No, all the beautiful girls left Lugansk. Like me -- we're all gone!" "How did you get to Moscow?" "I took a train. See -- let me go back. I was a student. Well, I never studied. I was a bad student. I wanted to become a hair stylist, but I didn't do it. I was too wild, I couldn't sit still! I was also a sportsman. I did kickboxing until two years ago. I still know it." "Have you ever had to use kickboxing?" "For this...job?" she asked. Her face grew suddenly dour. "Yes, it's...let's say it helped me. I'd rather not remember it, okay? Do you mind if I smoke?" "Go ahead. So when did you lose your virginity?" "I was sixteen. I heard that if you waited longer, it would only hurt more and more. So I got it out of the way. I was stupid. Well, anyway I met a guy. We fell in love -- I did anyway. He said all sorts of things to me. Then I had a baby. And he went into the army. Left me. Never came back. Bastard. I'll never trust a man again. They're all traitors, you know." "So are women," I said. "Everyone's a traitor," she said, but without bitterness, in fact almost cheerfully. "They're all bastards and traitors, what can you do? So anyway, I had my child. I worked different jobs. I took a job at a carwash. That was my last big job in Lugansk. Some dyadya there, a client, told me I could do...this kind of work there. I didn't, but I came here on a train and it was easy to find this type of work. I didn't come here expecting it. I was hoping to get a job selling cosmetics, anything, but that didn't work so a girl I met told me about this agency, and well, this is what I'm doing for now. But my contract ends in a few weeks." "You have to sign a contract?" I asked. "That's how it works. Three months at a time. I've been doing it for, well, this will be four months. Then I'll quit. I send money back to my family in Lugansk." "You have family?" "I have an older sister and a younger brother. He's eleven. And my baby of course. My mother died. She died last year of cancer. It was horrible, and now we really need the money." "Your father?" I asked. It usually comes down to the father. "He's alive. He lives with a woman. He has another family." "How do you send the cash to Lugansk?" "I give cash to the train conductor here in Moscow, give him a cut, and he takes it down, and someone meets him in Lugansk and takes the cash. Otherwise it'd take forever, if I used Sberbank." "Aren't you afraid the conductor will steal the cash?" I asked. She laughed. "Hasn't happened yet. But I guess it could happen. You know, it's so nice to just talk with you. Usually I show up to a client's, and right away, he wants to...he just takes me and we have sex, then he throws me out. But with you I'm much more comfortable, just talking. I like this! What about you? Where are you from?" "California." "Oh, California! California! Why are you here? Everyone wants to get out of here and go to California!" "It's more interesting here." "Yes, ekstremalno," she said. "Extreme in Moscow. Terrorism in the metro. Terrorism at concerts. That's what you like?" "We have terrorism too, if you remember," I noted. She laughed. "Yes, I remember. The sad thing is that there's no terrorism in Ukraine. Nobody cares about Ukraine. It's not even worthy of a terror act because there's nothing anyone wants from Ukraine." She laughed and shook her head. As we talked, we drank tequila with grapefruit juice. I made hers strong, and she enjoyed each cocktail, drinking more than most whores drink. "I like three things. Fruit, cigarettes and alcohol," she told me, stealing a banana. After getting half-undressed in my kitchen, we took our act to my bedroom. She didn't shower -- I guess she was getting too drunk. But that was a shame because her vagina had that end-of-the-tour-of-duty odor to it, the butt grease odor that worn-in whores get. It spoiled an otherwise cheerful night. Her breasts were small and not too squishy. Her ass was also small, and though squishy, it fit into my hand. She rolled some kind of super-small, ridiculous Soviet condom onto my unit and started to blow me, but we had to take the thing off and put on a Durex. I was kind of hoping I'd get a condomless blowjob, but I wasn't forceful with her. I'd enjoyed her company, and the power I had over her time with me, too much to spoil it with a change in the tempo. She wanted to fuck. "I can't wait," she said. She rolled onto her back, but I pulled her on top of me and told her to sit on me. Her vagina was wet and tight enough that I didn't feel like I was getting the old "hot dog in a hallway" snapper that every john dreads. She didn't need to lube with a whore swipe. Lara was really enjoying herself on top of me, or at least faking pretty convincingly that she was. Her pleasure was rooted in believing that I was interested in her stories about herself, which I was, slightly. I was trying to feel some kind of genuine interest or make some connection, or trying to feel like I should try to make a connection, but it was all fake and all internalized -- trying to conjure up genuine interest in Lara's story was contrived in a ridiculous way, like faking my own orgasm while masturbating. My aunt once said to me, while pointing to her baby grandson, "They're nothing to me until they're at least four or five years old." That's sort of how I feel about humans: they're nothing to me until I've clocked so many hours with them, a lot of hours, hours usually spaced over a matter of years. Lara pulled me on top of her and pulled her legs back. I felt like I was going to cum too quickly and I didn't want to, so I slowed it up. "Come on!" she said. "I want it. Let's go, come on!" I started to go, but all the lust that had been missing suddenly caught up with me. So I rolled over again and pulled her on top of me. This time she wouldn't wait. She started to piston-fuck me, so I figured the hell with it, I was paying, who am I trying to impress? I grabbed her small ass and used it like a giant block of sandpaper to sand down my whole pelvic region. Suddenly I exploded, and she made sounds as if she did too. I don't know -- of all the ego things, getting a whore off is just not something that makes me feel like more of a man. I'm not sure how much she faked it, both for my sake and for hers, but when she fell on top of me her heart was beating as hard and fast as a mongoose's. But the best part of our evening was to come when she rolled onto her back. After a few deep breaths she asked me what time it was. Already after two in the morning. "Oh. It's already time for me to go," she said. "I should get ready to leave." She wrote down her phone number, but as soon as she handed it to me I knew I wouldn't call her. She deserves at least a pozdravlenie on Women's Day. But I know I won't do it. Which makes me just another traitor in her life. Issue In #185 04 Mar 04 (1 year, 10 months old) Also in this Issue The Ugly Truth Feature Story byMarkAmes Moscow's girls have become uglier, and are getting increasingly ugly every year. If Moscow is no longer a haven of lust, then what is the point of living here?... In Brief In Brief US-German Thaw... Forbes List of Whores... Fradkov Mania!... Bonner for Putin?... GULAGs Re-Open, Western Investors Cheer... Viva la Resistance! byJakeRudnitsky Welcome to Warsaw, hub of the exiled Belarusian opposition movement. All twenty of 'em... Democratic Putin Voltaire de Putin (French, 18th c.)... H. Puttin Thoreau (American, 19th c.)... Putinbo Lumumba (Africa, 20th c.)... Vladimir Lincoln (American,n 19th c.)... Ksenia + Denis Club Review byDenisSalnikov By the time you read this you probably know the big news in Russia from the past week. Everyone's talking about it... A Decadent Spring Dyev's Diary byLyolyaAndrosova Spring is a marvellous season for sexually obsessed people. Really, what can be a better start for spring, than a passionate sex?... Outsourcing Thomas Friedman byTamishPhreedman Globalization is here to stay. And that's a good thing not only for Wall Street, but for Main Street too... Bardak Calendar Bardak Calendar All For Ladies. Tseppelin... Loire Culinary Festival. Panorama... Fun Loving Criminals. Tinkov Brewery... Lidia Lunch. B2... DJs Layo & Bushwacka. The Warehouse... The Monster Mash Kino Korner byMarkAmes There is a new trend I'm noticing in Hollywood - the fake independent film, the gentrification of indy movies... Haiti 2: the Rerun War Nerd byGaryBrecher Haitian history just won't stop happening. Between that last column and this one, president was booted out... Comrade Terminator Book Review byJohnDolan "Full Spectrum Disorder: The Military in the New American Century" by Stan Goff... SIC! SIC! HOLOCAUSTIC... MOTHER TUCKER... THE IDIOT... WHORE-SICA... HARDY-HAR-HARBIN... THE CONSULTANT CURSE... Death Porn Death Porn FILL HIM UP... DON'T BE A BABY... QUEER WAY TO GO... THE MOTHER-IN-LAW... Disappointments Yuri Balabin, 24... Natalya Lukina, 31... Timur Aliyev, 18... Irina Godunova, 22... Alexei Vidolov, 28... Mandela Porn Mandela Porn byNatashaMarchetti In Malvern, an 83-year old woman went to investigate the noises in her kitchen and was raped for her efforts... Drilled-Down Veggies Restaurant Review byPeterArenseberg Avocado is a quiet and dignified place, tucked into a huge Stalinesque block near Chistiy Prudiy Metro station... Set Font This feature requires JavaScript. Other Formats Printer-friendly Plain Text Email Article Email address(es): Note: Affiliate Links By buying from these merchants, you help to support and enhance our online presence. 200 beautiful RussianBrides a week! Photo galleries, personal profiles, introduction services. Travel to Russia Visa support, hotels, train tickets, tours and cruises. See your message here! Write to web_adv at exile ru Interested in advertising? Write to the_exile at mail ru "the eXile". Tel: +7 (095) 795-3376 , fax: +7 (095) 245-1415 E-mail: office at exile ru (website-related issues: webperson at exile ru )
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Lifehacker, the Productivity and Software Guide Sharp Shopper Roundup READ MORE: Shopping The Zero Movement: Coke’s Pepsi Blue H&R Block Creates National Tax Holiday Eco-Furniture Sells Mass Produced Beds Latest iTunes Dials Home Without Your Permission More AT&T Wireless Customers Boned by Cingular Morning Deals Round Up Today in LoBo: Soda Can Cuffs A Moment in Sucking Less: Threadless Has Hoodies How to remove a popcorn ceiling READ MORE: DIY , Household , How To Designer and DIYer Jason Edmond Beaird (and his wife Amy) has a great tutorial for those who are interested in getting rid of an ugly popcorn ceiling. Ames and I would eradicate the entire world of popcorn ceilings if we could. For now though, we’re just planning on tackling the entire house. We only moved in about two weeks ago, but we’ve already cleared the curds from the office, guest bedroom and our master bedroom. 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Sponsored Links Make your movies iPod-compatible with iTunes READ MORE: Digital Video , Top , Video , conversions , iPod , iTunes With the new release of iTunes 6.0.2 , Apple was kind enough to include the ability to convert your Quicktime .MOV videos to an iPod-compatible format with a few easy clicks. I’ve posted a quick how-to on About.com (my home away from Lifehacker… but who am I kidding, there’s no home like Lifehacker!) for converting your movies with iTunes. How To Convert your home movies for your iPod [About.com] ( comment on this post ) Give or receive a favor READ MORE: Community , Favors , Productivity , Top Website Favorville collects favors (offered and sought) for users to browse and jump on, if the spirit so takes them. Favorville.com is a social networking tool which provides members with the opportunity to help and be helped by others. With Favorville, members can post help requests, offer help and help grow the community. 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A blank search will give the most recent files uploaded in Flickr. Yet another way to browse Flickr, the Wickr widget is sure to impress friends and family alike. Wickr [Yahoo! Widgets] ( comment on this post ) Ask Lifehacker: Multiple subdomains? READ MORE: Ask Lifehacker , DIY , Home server , Web publishing Dear Lifehacker, I found your tutorials on setting up a home web server and assigning a domain name to it incredibly helpful. Thank you! I have a question about using wildcards. How do you get them to resolve to different pages? For example, how do you get blog.mydomain.homeip.net to resolve to the blog whereasmydomain.homeip.net resolves to the homepage? Thanks, Home-hosted web site fan [MORE] ( 3 comments ) How to create 12 new habits a year READ MORE: Goals , Habits , New Year's Resolutions Blogger John Richardson says an alternative to an avalanche of New Year’s resolutions is to commit to one new habit a month throughout the year. 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bunnyhero labs - news » animated pets work on myspace again… i think about | news | cyber pets | fun stuff | drawings | tech | misc | -- links | contact | help news 2005-11-08 animated pets work on myspace again… i think Filed under: content updates cyber pets technical issues — bunnyhero @ 3:32 pm as i write this, it appears that animated pets are working on myspace again! let’s see how long it lasts this time. cross your fingers! and thank you, everyone, for your patience with this. -- 37 Responses to “animated pets work on myspace again… i think” harry potter lover Says: November 8th, 2005 at 4:31 pm aww…so glad my little harry’s gonna be back on my myspace! w0ot! anonymous Says: November 9th, 2005 at 3:33 pm mines dont work mselaineus15 Says: November 9th, 2005 at 6:12 pm kool im glad ur making more animals but a spider i ask you why not a horse or an pony? Anonymous Says: November 10th, 2005 at 2:15 pm I really think you should make background environments for your pets. So they did stuff and you clould watch them. nic-nac Says: November 10th, 2005 at 2:26 pm i like mine there cool! but make like something on the lines of ferrets i had 4 of them and i would like if you had one! met me at www.gamesareinfo.zoomshare.com im the creator of it bye Amy DeLuca Says: November 11th, 2005 at 12:57 pm i can’t post my bunny i created on xanga.it won’t let me for some reason. can you help me? alex Says: November 11th, 2005 at 11:08 pm dude, mine’s still not working. should i wait it out or delete my code & re-paste, or paste a livejournal code? bunnyhero Says: November 12th, 2005 at 12:50 pm alex: delete your code and repaste it, that should work. Gabby Says: November 12th, 2005 at 5:09 pm This is really cool it looks great on my myspace! alex G Says: November 13th, 2005 at 2:35 pm hey mine isn’t working either.you should make a horse but a Tennessee walking horse and do backgrounds.also make more food and you should make a real hand that reaches out instead of the mouse.cya Anonymous Says: November 13th, 2005 at 3:51 pm Well, it’s cool that the animals show up on myspace, but they aren’t showing up anywhere else! I’ve tried every link and they don’t show up on my FP (Furry Paws) blog anymore, like they used to. i wanna laama Says: November 13th, 2005 at 11:17 pm Mine doesn’t work on myspace emy Says: November 16th, 2005 at 9:19 pm I love ur site and all the cute little animals! If u do interact and make a hand for them and backrounds or whatever ur gonna do dont go overboard like neopets and make like mechandise and sell it or something. Thanks for listening. anonymous Says: November 18th, 2005 at 11:08 am i like ma pet!!!!!! amanda Says: November 19th, 2005 at 8:36 am i love horses could you make sure that theres a horse pet thnx and also how do you put a pet on msn space tell me how plz bunnyhero Says: November 19th, 2005 at 1:21 pm to put your pet on your msn space, please see this help topic: how do i put my pet on my MSN space? sawyer Says: November 20th, 2005 at 1:27 am can u add more pets Jasper Says: November 20th, 2005 at 2:04 am its not on my myspace. tinkerbell Says: November 20th, 2005 at 9:47 am my doggy wont go on my page!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Arya Says: November 20th, 2005 at 3:37 pm Ermmmm…don’t know about everyone else, but us Eragon geeks would be oh so happy if it were possible to make a dragon pet…I mean, come on, it’d be so cool to put one on my myspace! Please…. tacoflavormxcn Says: November 21st, 2005 at 10:42 am i like the spider.. i named mine spud. Brooke Says: November 21st, 2005 at 5:58 pm well that’s good that the animals r up on myspace again. Brooke Says: November 22nd, 2005 at 3:46 pm ew………….pleez, no dragons, god that’s just weird. samantha Says: November 24th, 2005 at 12:22 am I LIKe THE PIG IT HAS MY NAME I DONT LIKE THE HEDGE HOG IT DOESNT DO ANYTHING BUT RUN AWAY!! CANDYGIRL Says: December 2nd, 2005 at 1:26 pm i’d just like to say that this is my all time favourite site! you’ve helped me soo much with my website needs and you explain everything so thoroughly! The virtual pets are awesome! i adopted them all! now my site is going to be the coolest ever!! again thank you and i looovve yooouu keep up the magnificent job!You’re the best!:) Sarah Says: December 4th, 2005 at 1:27 pm Can someone tell me how to get a pet? like a cat or a dog or a duck or a lama? lol or a giraffe lol ella Says: December 13th, 2005 at 12:54 pm i think it’s cool! Andy pandy Says: December 18th, 2005 at 1:00 pm i agree make a dragon!!!! merk Says: December 19th, 2005 at 7:18 am I think you should make a MONKEY!!! dominick Says: December 22nd, 2005 at 11:50 am dude i want a parrot on my myspace leave me a message or comment on my myspace lesving the website for codes please!!! ash Says: January 2nd, 2006 at 12:39 pm ooh a parrot would be soo cool!! DS Says: January 2nd, 2006 at 5:16 pm How do you make or add more pets? DS Says: January 2nd, 2006 at 5:17 pm can some1 tell me? lil_sexi Says: January 3rd, 2006 at 6:33 pm It would be SSOOOOO awesome if u made a monkey! They’re like the best! lil_sexi Says: January 3rd, 2006 at 6:34 pm Wat do u guyz think would be the best pet 2 add? lil_sexi Says: January 3rd, 2006 at 6:34 pm Wat do u guyz think would be the koolest pet 2 add? lil_sexi Says: January 3rd, 2006 at 6:37 pm Well, L8rz ppl’z Leave a Reply Name Mail (will not be published) Website XHTML: You can use these tags: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong> -- 0.089 || Powered by WordPress admin