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Whore Train
eXile - Issue #163 - Whore-R Stories - Whore-r Stories: International Whores' Day - By Genghis Goldberg Moscow-based alternativenewspaper Search the eXile All Issues This Issue This Author This Column | Advanced Search... Email thousands of beautiful Russian Ladies! Home | Archive | Club Guide | Restaurant Guide | Songs | Field Guide To Moscow | Political Trading Cards | About Us Browse Column (19) Previous (4) Next (14) Whore-r Stories: International Whores' Day By Genghis Goldberg Browse Author (8) Previous (4) Next (3) T he buildup to International Women's Day here in Moscow last month was as nauseating as Christmas Season in New England. All those flower vendors, cheesy TV specials and grotesque toasts to womanhood triggered fantasies of cutting off my lady friend's head and storing it in the back of the freezer, behind the Gzhel and the sack of frozen broccoli. There was only one way to avenge this evil: celebrate March 8th with a whore. Not another newspaper whore from our page 23, but a whore picked from an open-air market. So hold on to your latex gloves, folks, cuz I'm a-gonna take you back to March 8th, that magical, enchanting holiday celebrating the mystery and gift of Women. Before we go there I want to take this opportunity to make an aside. Thank God there is no Women's Day holiday in America. I can imagine the layers of irony and suppressed desperation that such a holiday would bring out. The whole inter-gender sickness would gurgle out of the social sewer grill every year on cue: "Oh, I'm sooooo happy you're celebrating me. Tchya, as if." "This holiday is so sexist, you know? No, just kidding! I don't really give a shit about some stupid holiday, you know? I'm not into that whole PC thing?" "No, really, it's okay. Forget it, you know? It's not the holiday that I care about, it's just...forget it, nothing." But why do I torture us both, readers, with horrible reminders of the Repression? We're not in America. Let's move on with our lives. In Russia it's impossible to avoid Women's Day. I used to do the gentlemanly thing and call all the women in my life to wish them all the usual: chlamydia, breast cancer, cellulite... This year I was going for a clean slate. No phone calls. No women. Just a whore. Rudnitsky and I called a taxi at about 9:30 p.m. on Women's Day evening. I instructed the driver to take us to the nocturnal whore colonies that come out to feed on that block of Leninsky Prospekt between Oktyabrskaya metro and Gagarin Ploschad. "Going for sluts?" the burly driver asked. "Yes." The mission cheered our driver up - I always expect Russian taxi drivers to get nationalistic and protective over their womenfolk when I ask them to take me to whore markets, but the opposite is always true: they look at you as a real bloke and often go the extra mile for you. "I don't think you'll find anything on Leninsky now," he suggested. "We should go to the Moskva." "They're too expensive there," I said. He shrugged. We wasted a half hour trawling Leninsky before giving up and going to the Moskva. "I'm telling you, the only hope is the Moskva at this time," he said. "Okay, let's do it." There, a mamochka -- an over-the-hill whore in sweat pants, parka and cap -- waited near the former Dikii Loschad restaurant, bouncing just off the curb. She told us to follow a white Moskvich which was parked just ahead of us. We followed the Moskvich to the Lubyanka bus stop across from the FSB headquarters. The Moskvich stopped in front of a group of dirty Russian cars: one mini-van and two Ladas. This was the tochka. Another mamochka approached, this one younger and Asiatic. "We've got 70, 100 and 150," she said. "Which do you want to see?" "100," I said. Suddenly it was like that scene from the keystone cops: about thirty girls piled out impossibly from cars that should only hold a total of five, then lined up in a semi-circle before our headlights like trained dogs, or like slaves on an auction block. One girl looked enticing: a shy, extremely thin village girl with a big head, big eyes and a terrible hairdo. The problem was she looked too young and skittish. To get the whore-r story for this issue, I needed an older girl who'd been through the hard knocks, a girl with tales to tell. The rest of the 100-dollar line-up looked like something out of the Star Wars bar scene. "Let's see the 150's," I told the mamochka. She shooed the 100 girls back into the sardine pack. Would they be punished, ruined, hurt by the rejection? One should be horrified by the thought, yet for some reason, one got rather aroused. The 150s weren't much better. I chose a tall girl with long black hair and exotic Cossack eyes. Her red vinyl boots went up to her knees. Her name was Alla and she came from Kiev. Rudnitsky seemed to like her and I was wasted enough to listen to him. She must have some interesting whore-r stories to share. When I brought her to my apartment I asked her about the expected upcoming war in Iraq. "Do you think America has gone crazy?" I asked. "Do you think we're aggressive and arrogant, or do you think we have the right to take out Saddam Hussein?" "It is necessary to get rid of him," she said matter-of-factly. "So you support Bush and America?" "Of course," she said. "Hussein is terrible. Who needs people like that in the world?" "But most Russians think that America has gone crazy, turned aggressive." "Get rid of those people too." "Get rid of the Russians who oppose America's war?" "Of course, get rid of them. They complain about everything. They're not civilized." The only thing more exciting than a cute girl who advocates war and concentration camps is when said chick is a whore you've just purchased for the next several hours. On International Women's Day! But the joke was on me. After this auspicious opening, it was all downhill with Alla. She didn't want to drink. She had a bad attitude. When a whore doesn't drink, usually it means she's got a bad attitude. "When did you come out to Moscow?" I asked. "In December." "Did you work as a prostitute in Kiev as well?" "No." "So why did you come to Moscow?" "Work." "Is it better here than in Kiev?" "More money." "Do you miss Kiev?" "Yes." "You're not married?" "No." "How did you find out about the work here?" "A friend in Kiev who worked here told me about it." "Why did you need the money?" I asked. "It's personal. It's not pleasant. Has to do with Kiev." "Do you have a baby?" "No. I take care of my mother and younger sister. It's not pleasant." "Where's your father?" I asked. "I haven't seen him since I was six. Do I have to keep answering? Enough!" I'm starting to think, there's a pattern here when it comes to fathers and Warsaw Pact whores. I've always known that if I ever had children, I'd flee. The guilt would kill me, I can't lie. So the best thing is to not have a child, period. No child, no problem. But what if I had a child, a daughter, and I fled, and my abandoned daughter bloomed into a whore? Wouldn't that be a good thing, bringing joy to the lives of so many empty, exhausted, pathetic men incapable of love or intimacy? Shouldn't I feel pride, rather than guilt, if my daughter became a whore? Of course! Folks, I'm throwing out my condoms tomorrow. Delinquent fatherhood, here I come! Alla wanted to speed things up. She took her whore's bath and lay on my bed. She blew me with a condom. I barely felt it. We had sex. I don't remember much. I was as high as space shuttle dust, and my voice sounded like Froggy's, which made my interrogation of her difficult. Her body was thin and she had an advanced case of squishy whore flesh. She was 23, almost middle-aged by whore standards. She didn't need to do the swipe: her snapper was unusually moist for a prostitute. Which prompted me to ask her if she liked her job. She scowled. "Are you joking? I do it just for money. Who doesn't?" I groggily thought, "Geez, you could at least lie, Alla." I was too high to cum. I punished her for a good half hour or more, until she went dry. Then punished her some more. I thought about the holiday, the flower vendors charging double-price to the idiots, the grotesque TV shows. I thought about nothing. I thought about how long I'd be doing this. I tried to fuck her hard from behind but we weren't even generating hate sparks. I finally pooped out. It ended in a stalemate. All I really wanted was to be alone. So I sent her home early, to both our relief. As Women's Days go, it could have been a lot worse. But as whore-r stories go, it was a wash. Issue In #163 06 Apr 03 (2 years, 9 months old) Also in this Issue Less Is More: the Back-to-Basics Hagfish The Schopenhauer awards are not a beauty contest. And of all our nominees, the Hagfish is the most humble of all... Cafe Ass-ya Restaurant Review ASIA KAFE is an Uzbek cafe just opened in central Moscow... The Republican Guard Feature Story No, not the Iraqi one. We're talking about America's Republican Guard - proactive-war-mongering Republicans and their pundits... Death Porn BACK TO SCHOOL... TURKEY HUNT... EXTRA CREDIT... Your Letters SIC! THE PROPHET... USSA... SAINT SALNIKOV... WAR FAGS... PEDOFOOL... CURIOUSITY KILLED THE SVEN... The Doctor Diesel Test How easy would it be to give away the 23 cans sitting next to our refrigerator?... War Traditions byPepeLePew What we're seeing these days is the age-old story of the American army. They suck... Bardak Calendar Menlo Park... Jethro Tull... Khoroinko Orchestra... Cassius... April Fool's Day April Fool's Day in Moscow's English-language press... America Faces Israel Scenario byMarkAmes The Israel Scenario is already here for Americans. America's descent has just begun... Hours Lacks Hot Chicks Kino Korner byMarkAmes If you must go to the local theaters, then I have to review the movies they're showing... Death March II: the Nature Walk City Beat byJohnDolan Katherine and I decided to go on one of the Sunday "Nature Walks" mentioned in the Moscow Times... Fairytales for the Scared Stupid Book Review byJohnDolan I knew it would be a facile, opportunistic and untenable definitional/moral argument against "terrorism..."... Down We Go! War Nerd byGaryBrecher I'll start by saying what Bush and Rumsfeld won't: "I was wrong." It still blows me away that our brilliant leaders managed to turn Saddam's Army into an effective military force... The "Ne Ochen" Party Club Review byDenisSalnikov I should like to apologize to my readers for the fact that I did not appear at the eXile's party... Set Font This feature requires JavaScript. Other Formats Printer-friendly Plain Text Email Article Email address(es): Note: Affiliate Links By buying from these merchants, you help to support and enhance our online presence. 200 beautiful RussianBrides a week! Photo galleries, personal profiles, introduction services. Travel to Russia Visa support, hotels, train tickets, tours and cruises. See your message here! Write to web_adv at exile ru Interested in advertising? Write to the_exile at mail ru "the eXile". Tel: +7 (095) 795-3376 , fax: +7 (095) 245-1415 E-mail: office at exile ru (website-related issues: webperson at exile ru )
MySpace Skin
www.myspace.com/skinflick MySpace.com | Home The Web MySpace Help | SignUp Home | Browse | Search | Invite | Rank | Mail | Blog | Favorites | Forum | Groups | Events | Games | Music | Classifieds Videos | Directory | Search | Top Artists | Shows | Music Forums | Music Classifieds | Artist Signup Skin Flick Punk / Rock / Indie "Skin Flick, Los Angeles Bastard Rock." United States Profile Views: 10382 Last Login: 01/10/2006 View more pics Contacting Skin Flick MySpace URL: http://www.myspace.com/skinflick Skin Flick General Info Member Since June 27, 2004 Band Website SkinFlick.us Band Members Influences Rancid, Beatles, Nirvana, decendents, and Rock N Roll. Record Label Hellbound Records Type of Label None Skin Flick's Latest Blog Entry [ Subscribe to this Blog ] To the fans..... in the Dark ( view more ) NEW MUSIC!!! ( view more ) To the Skin Flick Army... ( view more ) Reseda High School TONIGHT!!!!!! ( view more ) Back like a George Ramero flick.... ( view more ) [ View All Blog Entries ] About Skin Flick Catch Skin Flick's New Cd "Reality Machine" At All Los Angeles Area Tower Record Locations For $9.99! Below You Will Find Links To Download Alot of Skin Flick Songs from All Cd's. Reality Machine Click Cd Cover To Purchase "Reality Machine". Ghost.mp3 Shot My Baby Down.mp3 Weekend Warriors.mp3 Never All There.mp3 Sin Filled Valley Click Cd Cover To Purchase "Sin Filled Valley". No Harm Done.mp3 Sin Filled Valley.mp3 Highway 27.mp3 Dear Adeline.mp3 It's Alright.mp3 It's Life Click Cd Cover To Purchase "It's Life". Hellbound.mp3 Bad Blood.mp3 Legend To Be.mp3 Fuck The World.mp3 Another Round.mp3 Skin Flick's Friend Space Skin Flick has 1451 friends. Tom sho Indie-Fusion Management *POISON GIRL* RAHJAH Mr.Johnny $aprano!!!! Nena View All of Skin Flick's Friends Skin Flick'sFriends Comments Displaying 50 of 466 comments ( View/Edit All Comments ) FlashRock Jan 9, 2006 05:59 AM Hi Skin Flick Best of luck in 2006, .|.Polythene.Pam.|. Jan 5, 2006 07:15 PM Why the hell is your damn song not adding to my damn page? Grr. hot rod girl Jan 2, 2006 08:47 PM who is this band? i reckon i saw them perform once and they reminded me of a bunch of fags, especially that dwarf drummer of yours. why he reminds me of an oompa loompa. hahaha... what the hell is up with you guys? Christina Dec 30, 2005 10:17 AM Malibu Rinaldi Stacey Dec 23, 2005 04:57 PM I'VE GOT A SONG FOR YOU GUYS!!! [) u $ T i N Dec 19, 2005 07:07 PM Skinny Blonde and Goodlooking Dec 19, 2005 03:22 PM YOU GUYS ROCK!!! COME PLAY WITH US IN NY!!! Internet dating superstar Dec 17, 2005 07:44 PM Scott Dec 15, 2005 12:29 PM Happy New Years fellas. Skin Flck & So Abused 4-LIFE. Rotten Scott/singer Bill Ferguson Music Dec 9, 2005 12:34 PM CHARLIE? Jamie Kim Nov 23, 2005 05:39 PM Happy Thanksgiving. So Abused Nov 23, 2005 12:26 PM Whuss up fellas, and when the hell r we gonna colaborate? rotten scott/so abused & skin flick 4-life Casper Nov 23, 2005 02:09 AM Skin Flick is the greatest band ever man Rock On eat your ♥ out!! Nov 22, 2005 04:56 PM ROCK THE FUCK ON ;) GuEsS AgaIN, YoUr It !!!! Nov 17, 2005 05:08 AM ..1 FAN...ALWAYS AND 4EVER... JULIA Nov 15, 2005 03:05 PM SKINFLICK SUCKS. but i'm still your number one groupie. ;) Bill Ferguson Music Nov 12, 2005 07:25 PM Hello Flick. Where do I get a pair of Charlie's undies? You're*all*LOSERS Nov 10, 2005 02:09 AM hey guys how the hell are all of you? so is joe gone from the band? i should give that kid a call. well just wanted to say hey.hope all is going well. let me know whenur next show it. later. Dana So Abused Nov 8, 2005 08:09 PM hey richard cranium, call me. rotten scott Sara Sparks Nov 3, 2005 09:59 AM BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Sara Sparks Nov 3, 2005 09:58 AM AWE HOW SWEETLY GAY .|.Polythene.Pam.|. Oct 30, 2005 12:59 PM I'm so pissed I didn't get to see you guys last night. I'm sure it went great... briertone Oct 29, 2005 06:03 PM We will probably be playing first at all of these shows. Be sure to come early! You can visit our myspace for more details. Jill Oct 29, 2005 04:59 AM man i feel out of the loop- whats this about a new cd and when does it come out? ill be back in la aorund xmas time, hope to see you play and parlo italiano con voi. ciao hot rod girl Oct 27, 2005 06:48 PM ahhh...you guys still suck! muhahaha.... Local Review Oct 26, 2005 09:41 PM OK I just got a message, we have a spot open for a backyard show on Saturday. It's a halloween party and they need another band to play. So heres the deal, I'll personally Promote your band like crazy for your next ten shows. if you play this for them, it'll be a great time. I really don't give a shit what your band sounds like, but the harder the better. Please Reply as soon as posible if your able, THANKS!!! DEEMED USELESS Oct 26, 2005 09:04 AM Thanks for being a friend!!! With looks like this we need all the friends in the world! JAELICIOUS "The Queen Crack" Oct 25, 2005 12:23 AM whoever went to high school with Charlie raise their hands.... my arms are flailing........... sanam Oct 22, 2005 04:17 PM Hey! You guys were awesome last night. The best band there. The new songs were awesome too. Thanks for a great time. Azzy Oct 22, 2005 12:25 PM Thanks for playing at reseda again! Fuck the people that left man. Skinflick is freaking awesome. Please keep coming to our battle of the bands. It would be pointless without you guys there. love you guys! oh and your new stuff was great too. Rawr Its James! Oct 22, 2005 12:07 AM You guys brought down the house! too bad everyone started leaving. oh well. they missed the best part. yeah i was that guy james who talked to you guys, or atleast charlie. I'll say I love you, but never mean it. Oct 20, 2005 03:56 AM YOU HAVE BEEN SEXED! Spread the legs and go at it! Pick any of your friends who you think don't get much lovin' (or maybe they do!) and, SEX THEM! (you can copy and paste this message on their userpage!) This is for any one you think is hot! RULES: 1- You can sex the person who sexed you, of course. 2- You can sex the same person as many times as you can (c'mon, ENDURANCE)! Be creative!* 3- You -MUST- spread the sex! At least 1 fuck is fine and dandy! 4- You should sex in public! Be adventurous, damnit. Paste it on their user page so they feel slutty! 5- Random sex is perfectly okay! 6- Please, don't worry about same gender sexing, it's HOT. 7- You should most definitly get started fuckin' right away! This is about showing everyone how much you care for them and HOW BAD YOU WANT THEIR ASS! Make everyone feel a little loved (and roughed up!). Please dont take this too personally, BUT I JUST FUCKED YOU!!! Pittbull Oct 19, 2005 06:05 PM Hey, Does Joe not talk to anyone anymore? Rawr Its James! Oct 12, 2005 09:30 PM Scott Oct 10, 2005 06:48 PM Yo Skin Flick, spread the word SO ABUSED is Looking for a worthy Bassist. Mick or char if you guys want to do it let me know. We aswell are working on new material. Peace out Rotten Scott/So Abused DEEMED USELESS Oct 6, 2005 08:57 PM What up guys? Glad to see ya'all are back and playin!.............bob Connie Sep 30, 2005 05:22 PM a muthdera fugers i call me, ask joe for my .. we need to chill Connie Sep 30, 2005 04:10 PM ahy fuckers its been awhile, just wanted to say miss the goodtime...drinking lol Mickey Sep 25, 2005 10:57 PM ATTN: Mickey Fingers is single! Any ladies interested, hit this bastard up! I'm a Saggitarious who loves long walks on the beach and classic horror films. HAla!Ryan@SkinfliCk.us [) u $ T i N Sep 25, 2005 10:31 PM whats up guys? Scott Sep 24, 2005 01:23 PM Rotten Scott says, "Whuss my bros". Call me. Rotten Scott So Abused Internet dating superstar Sep 19, 2005 01:23 PM RYAN IS THE COOLEST NIEGBOR IN THE WORLD!!!! WHY DID U SHAVE YOUR HEAD??? Malibu Rinaldi Stacey Aug 31, 2005 10:19 PM Hey guys! did any of you see this girl (my sister) last night at the studio? They Call Me Miyaki Aug 30, 2005 02:21 AM Joe still has my keg from Danny Boy and I want it back so I can thorw a party than you guys can take it back ♥†F3LL nLuV 0n DruGz†♥ Aug 27, 2005 12:27 PM LuV u guyz...(cuz u gave me a free cd)...lol well luv ur music too!!!...lol Miss Mutha Fuckin Ryot Aug 25, 2005 04:57 PM Joe, I will eat your face!!!!!!!! I don't need a PomP to be PsYcHo!!! Aug 23, 2005 09:11 PM why'd y'all drop out on the 9th? =( i was so looking forward to it. Andrea Aug 23, 2005 04:58 PM where can get your cd? Can I get it online somewhere or would I have to travel all the way to LA? Its just a question....you guys are really good and I would like to spread the word about Skin Fick Add Comment About | FAQ | Terms | Privacy | Safety Tips | Contact Myspace | Promote! | Advertise ©2003-2006 MySpace.com All Rights Reserved.
MySpace Survey
Lady Raptastic's Blog Thursday, December 15, 2005 Myspace survey Someone on myspace sent me this survey. I sent it back out in a bulletin but figured I would post it here too. If you like it, tell yo friends. If you don't, shut up cuz ain't noody care about yo stank self. 1. You have $10 and need to buy snacks at a gas station; what do you buy?: First of all, wear a large coat with lots of pockets. Second, go in with a friend and have the friend chat Mr Sales Guy up. Third, make a snatch quickly of some Doritos (Cooler Ranch of course-my favorite)- grab as many bags as you can and go down to your local middle school and sell them thangs to them kids for $1 a bag. The more you snatch, the more you make. Take that money, along with the original $10 and go buy you a new blouse. Okkaaayyy!! 2. If you had to be reincarnated as some sort of sea dwelling creature, what would you be?: I would like to be a Little Mermaid. She is so skinny, got good hair and can sang. 3. Who's your favorite redhead?: Dennis Rodman 4. What do you order when you're at a pancake house?: Triple stack with butterscotch and chocolate ships, the Western omellete with extra pot roast, two orders of rye toast with real butter, hash browns covered, smothered and hot and bothered. And a diet coke. And if you kept one of them Doritos bags, eat you one of those while you waiting. 5. Do you own any... naughty toys?: God gave me ten of them okaaaay!!! 6. Have you made out with anyone on your friend's list: No. But let me tell you somethin- if ever me and Brian was on a deserted beach I could get up on that tiny white boy and ride like a bullfighter on a donkey. Oleeeeeee!!!! 7. Describe your favorite pair of underwear: I go tthis pair from Victoria's Secrets with these two butterflies kissing at the middle of the front. On the back they got two alligators holdin hands. 8. Describe the last time you were injured: Y'all know- I got hit by a car and laid up in the hospital. Drama. 9. Are there any odd things that make you feel uncomfortable? rubber balls that bounce around so crazy you can't catch thems. Somebody else's barf on the sidewalk. (I feel like I know too much about someone I don't even know when i look at it). Warm tuna salad sitting out too long on a picnic table. Tires. I always think they gonna fall off and hit me. 11. Tell me a weird story from your high school years: i was on Old E with some friends in an apartment complex hottub and a guy came around with a shotgun and told us to get out. I stood up (I just happened to be naked) and told him to get out of here. He pointed his shotgun at me. I whistled and my pet condor "Lucifer" flew from his perch, grabbed him up by the shoulders and took him off to his nest where (I know) he ate him alive. We refer to that time as "shotgun saturday" and reference it lovingly whenever it comes up. 12. What is the wallpaper on your cell phone? That photo of Fergie where she peed herself in concert. it makes me laugh. 13. Soda?: Diet coke 14. Flavor pudding?: chocolate. 15. What type of shirt are you wearing? a Nancy kerrigan t-shirt I found at the thrift shop. I thought it was funny. Remeber her? She got beat up by that white trash ho and then cried. Then she was up in that Disney parade and called it stupid. Where is she now? Probably on crack. 16. Prescription medication?: I am healthy as a baby oxen. No meds. 17. If you could use only one form of transportation for the rest of your life what would it be? My own personal chaefuuuurrr driven limousine. With black cherries dipped in whipped cream in a mini-fridge and a hamster in a wheel hanging from the ceiling like a disco ball. 18. How many people are on your friends list? I do not brag. I am a popular ho. 19. How many people on your list do you know in real life? I met all these hos online. My real friends ain't got the interenet. 20. What are you listening to right now? A Cyndi Lauper remix by Jermaine Dupri. Apparently he tryin to bring her back like he brough back Mariah. Watch out! Cyndi comin back from the dead. 21. Most recent movie you watched? Snuck into King Kong. Dang that is a good movie. 22. Name 3 things you have with you at all times: My purse, my lip liner and my attitude. 23. Would you rather give or receive a foot massage? Receive baby. I do not touch no mens's feet unless they payin me. That sounds bad. I mean, it would take someone to pay me to touch they feet. I ain't no ho. I am just sayin...never mind. Next question. 24. Name a teacher you had the hots for: Mr. Bronky, dis white man who taught me high school math. Ooh he was so sexy. He look like Tony Danza on steroids. Girl dis man was ripped. And he's always wear tight button down shirts and tight pants that showed off his good side. One day I stayed after class and offered myself to him. He said no but gave me a french kiss on my mouth so hard he suck the brains through my esauphagus. We never spoke about it again. I was 19 at the time so it was perfectly legal. 25. What is a saying that you use a lot? Okkkaaaayyyyy!!! 26. What's one piece of advice that you think should be passed? britney should divorce Kevin, Janet need to lose her weight, Mariah need to stop bein so crazy and Alisa Milano need to do a movie now and then- she too pretty to be just up on the tv. Bye! posted by Lady Raptastic at 8:22 AM 1 Comments: Anonymous said... girl give a child some credit. i sent you that survey and you looooooove it! ♥criffer 2:14 AM Post a Comment << Home Freshly Spit Posts Podcast #9 My weekend report Everybody want money Podcast #8 Podcast # 7 Whitney let them HAVE IT! Everything be alright Drama fo yo Mamma Podcast: Lovely Lady Line She Married Paris and her monkey