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Lifehacker, the Productivity and Software Guide Sharp Shopper Roundup READ MORE: Shopping The Zero Movement: Coke’s Pepsi Blue H&R Block Creates National Tax Holiday Eco-Furniture Sells Mass Produced Beds Latest iTunes Dials Home Without Your Permission More AT&T Wireless Customers Boned by Cingular Morning Deals Round Up Today in LoBo: Soda Can Cuffs A Moment in Sucking Less: Threadless Has Hoodies How to remove a popcorn ceiling READ MORE: DIY , Household , How To Designer and DIYer Jason Edmond Beaird (and his wife Amy) has a great tutorial for those who are interested in getting rid of an ugly popcorn ceiling. Ames and I would eradicate the entire world of popcorn ceilings if we could. For now though, we’re just planning on tackling the entire house. We only moved in about two weeks ago, but we’ve already cleared the curds from the office, guest bedroom and our master bedroom. Through our experiences so far, and the little bit of preparatory research we did before getting started, I think we’ve got a pretty good method established for removing the corn. Be sure and make sure you don’t have any Asbestos in your ceiling before you get started with this one. Popcorn Ceiling Removal [Jasongraphix] ( comment on this post ) How To Roundup READ MORE: How To How to: Get your extra Yahoo! dot address Make your own postage stamps Stay logged in to two Gmail accounts at once Install Windows unattended Speed up the Web for your Mac Load existing e-mail into Gmail Find out which Linux distro is right for you Speed up your PC from the BIOS Play Windows media with Quicktime READ MORE: Digital Audio , Digital Video , Downloads , Mac , QuickTime , Windows Media , digital media Microsoft is offering an add-in component for QuickTime that allows QuickTime to play Windows media. With Windows Media for QuickTime, by Flip4Mac™, you can play Windows Media files (.wma and .wmv) directly in QuickTime Player and view Windows Media content on the Internet using a Web browser. Optimized for High-Definition Playback: Windows Media Components for QuickTime has been highly optimized for Power Mac G4 and G5 computers and supports playback of high-definition Windows Media video files. So that pretty cool - nice work, Microsoft. The download is free, Mac only. Windows Media Components for QuickTime [Microsoft.com] ( comment on this post ) SPONSORSHIP Gawker Media – Lifehacker and over a dozen other weblog titles – brings a young and influential audience to brand advertisers. Click here to find out more about sponsorship opportunities. Lifehacker posts continue below... Sponsored Links Make your movies iPod-compatible with iTunes READ MORE: Digital Video , Top , Video , conversions , iPod , iTunes With the new release of iTunes 6.0.2 , Apple was kind enough to include the ability to convert your Quicktime .MOV videos to an iPod-compatible format with a few easy clicks. I’ve posted a quick how-to on About.com (my home away from Lifehacker… but who am I kidding, there’s no home like Lifehacker!) for converting your movies with iTunes. How To Convert your home movies for your iPod [About.com] ( comment on this post ) Give or receive a favor READ MORE: Community , Favors , Productivity , Top Website Favorville collects favors (offered and sought) for users to browse and jump on, if the spirit so takes them. Favorville.com is a social networking tool which provides members with the opportunity to help and be helped by others. With Favorville, members can post help requests, offer help and help grow the community. Favorville makes it easy to get in touch and build lasting connections with helpful neighbors, both in your locale or across the global village. Think of it as Craigslist for favors. It’s already got a fairly strong base in a lot of cities, and it’s really worth checking out. Favorville: People Helping People ( 1 comment ) Geek to Live: Automatically back up your hard drive READ MORE: Automation , Backup utilities , Disk recovery , Downloads , Feature , Geek to Live , Hard Drives , Top by Gina Trapani When was the last time you backed up the important files on your computer? Last year when your best friend called in tears after the Blue Screen of Death ate her thesis? Yeah, I thought so. Hard drives fail. It’s a fact of computing life. It’s not a matter of whether or not your computer’s disk will fry, it’s a matter of when. The question is how much it will disrupt your life. Don’t expect yourself to remember to back up your data, or stack your closet full of burned CD’s or DVD’s. Today we’re going to set up automated nightly, weekly, monthly local and off-site backups for your PC using free software. Once you get this up and running, you’ll never have to worry about losing data again. [MORE] ( 10 comments ) Download of the Day: Wickr READ MORE: Digital photos , Downloads , Flickr , Widgets Adding more goodness to the gem that is Flickr, the Wickr widget (for the Yahoo! Widget Engine - formerly Konfabulator) allows you to access Flickr from the comfort of a widget. Wickr is a Widget for browsing through photos on Flickr. You can browse by entering tags or by entering a Flickr user’s username or email. If you are a Flickr user yourself, you can add and remove your favorite photos. To search for photos, key in tags. Each tag should be seperated by a blank space. Tags with multiple words should be in quotes or joined together into one word. For example, the tag new york should be “new york” or newyork. A blank search will give the most recent files uploaded in Flickr. Yet another way to browse Flickr, the Wickr widget is sure to impress friends and family alike. Wickr [Yahoo! Widgets] ( comment on this post ) Ask Lifehacker: Multiple subdomains? READ MORE: Ask Lifehacker , DIY , Home server , Web publishing Dear Lifehacker, I found your tutorials on setting up a home web server and assigning a domain name to it incredibly helpful. Thank you! I have a question about using wildcards. How do you get them to resolve to different pages? For example, how do you get blog.mydomain.homeip.net to resolve to the blog whereasmydomain.homeip.net resolves to the homepage? Thanks, Home-hosted web site fan [MORE] ( 3 comments ) How to create 12 new habits a year READ MORE: Goals , Habits , New Year's Resolutions Blogger John Richardson says an alternative to an avalanche of New Year’s resolutions is to commit to one new habit a month throughout the year. Each month of this year develop one new habit. Make it simple and doable. At the end of each month decide on a new “habit” for the next month and continue doing the existing habit. At the end of the year 12 habits will be developed. All of these habits will be written down and be simple enough that I can verify if they have been done. Experts say that most actions take at least 21 days to become “habits” so a month should be ample time for it to become routine. The key to developing new habits is to make them trackable actions. For example, instead of resolving to “drink more water,” John says he started drinking two quarts of water a day - a specific and measurable goal. 12 Habits in 2006 [Success Begins Today] ( comment on this post ) Zoho Writer online word processor READ MORE: File sharing , Top , WYSIWYG , Web as Desktop , Word Processor Web service Zoho Writer is an online word processor that edits, stores and shares your documents from anywhere. Import your existing Microsoft Word or OpenOffice documents and start editing using an impressive WYSIWYG editor. Zoho Writer saves multiple versions of your document, and generates PDF, HTML and DOC files from it. Tag Zoho documents and share with a link (instead of a pesky document email attachment). Registration at Zoho Writer is free. Zoho Writer ( 2 comments ) Chart your progress with Bellygraph READ MORE: Capture tools , Fitness , Goals , New Year's Resolutions , Top , Web publishing , Weight loss Web site Bellygraph creates line charts that track your progress on a goal or task and lets you publish them to your web site. Built by independent programmer John Brothers, Bellygraph is rough around the edges (and mostly devoid of design), but the concept is neat, especially for weight watchers or anyone working toward a New Year’s goal. Register for free, create an unlimited number of graphs and easily add or edit data. Bellygraph provides the HTML to include on your web pages, too. Bellygraph ( comment on this post ) Download of the Day: Google Earth READ MORE: Downloads , Google , Google Earth , Mac OS X , Maps , Top , Windows Spectacular desktop mapping application Google Earth has graduated from beta for PC and is now available for Mac OS X. Fly in from space, zoom, tilt and pan over birds-eye view photos with Google Earth. Google recommends all PC users upgrade to this latest version. Mac users, the beta version of Google Earth is available for Tiger only. Thanks, Daniel! Google Earth Google Earth in a Mac world (PC too) [Google Blog] ( 1 comment ) Morning news roundup READ MORE: news Levi makes iPod controlling jeans [BBC] “Denim giant Levi Straus designs a pair of jeans able to control the wearer’s iPod music player.” Apple debuts Intel-powered Macs [BBC] “Apple has launched the first Mac and laptop to be powered by an Intel chip at Macworld in San Francisco.” Google Video Store goes live [CNET] “Content, interface and prices fail to impress as Google launches its video-on-demand Web site” Instant messaging attacks rose in 2005 [CNET] “Attacks over instant-messaging networks became more prevalent in 2005, according to a new study. The Middle East has become one hotbed of hackers.” Apple Beats the Calendar and the Street [NYT] “Steven P. Jobs unveiled a new iMac computer and a new notebook at Macworld Expo and revealed that Apple’s revenue for the quarter jumped 63 percent.” Saturday Night Live comes to iTunes [Macworld] “Now, every day is Saturday Night Live at the iTunes Music Store, as content from the long-running NBC sketch comedy series is now available at Apple’s online music store. Steve Jobs announced the content deal during his keynote Tuesday at Macworld Expo.” Music downloading creates listener apathy: research [AFP] “Internet downloading and MP3 players are creating a generation of people who do not seriously appreciate songs or musical performances, British researchers said.” Download of the Day 3: iTunes 6.0.2 READ MORE: Downloads , Mac , Mac OS X , Top , iTunes , iTunes music store As many of you know—Apple was busy today. Along with all the other craziness they’ve released an update for iTunes. In addition to stability updates and performance improvements, they’ve added a neat “MiniStore” that allows you to browse the iTunes store while in your own library. A great way to find new music. iTunes 6.0.2 is a free download for Windows and OS X. iTunes 6.0.2 [Apple] ( 7 comments ) Add Google Maps to your Web site READ MORE: Google Maps , How To , Top , Web publishing Joshua Siler of Exploration Age has a nice tutorial on how to ad a Google Map to your Web pages. First you need a Google Maps API key, which is free. You can find it, along with other documentation, at http://www.google.com/apis/maps/. Bookmark this link - it has lots of details you might want, especially if you extend your new map beyond this example. He goes on to explain in some detail how it’s all done and it’s pretty easy to follow too! How to add a Google Map to any web page in less than 10 minutes [Exploration Age] ( comment on this post ) Random Tips and Tricks Forum READ MORE: Advice , Fun , Life hacks , tips , tricks The Awful Forms has a fun and interesting thread that’s chock full of tips, tricks and lifehacks for just about anything. They’ve got tips for cooking, tips for driving, tips for going to the bathroom and many many more. Some of the tips are serious (and potentially very helpful) and others are just plain silly. Beware some crude language and keep that sense of humor firmly in place. Tips and Tricks You’ve Picked Up Along the Way…Part 4! [The Awful Forums via 43 Folders ] ( comment on this post ) Download of the Day 2: Bloglight READ MORE: Blogging , Downloads , Mac OS X , Search engines , Top , Utilities Bloglight is an application for OSX that provides an easy way to search blogs from your desk top. Find out what others are saying about you, your product, company or your favorite TV show or band. There are so many blogs that someone out there is bound to be talking about something you are interested in. One search in Bloglight will run on multiple blog search engines. The results from each engine are then combined together in an easy to read format. Bloglight is for OSX and offers a free trial. Bloglight [via Micro Persuasion ] ( comment on this post ) New OddJack Ups the Ante More Sports, Poker and Casino than Britney's Ass. Advertise on Lifehacker Computers make us more productive. Yeah, right . Lifehacker recommends the downloads, web sites and shortcuts that actually save time. Don't live to geek; geek to live. -- Spyware cleaners Spam filters Virus killers Internet phones File sharing Backup utilities Personal organizers Photo sharing Disk recovery Personal finance Web publishing Search engines Life hacks All topics... Editor : Gina Trapani Email | AIM Associate Editor : D. Keith Robinson Email | AIM Associate Editor : Adam Pash Email | AIM "50 Coolest Websites 2005." [ Time Magazine ] "Best of the Web." [ Forbes ] "Full of tips to make life easier." [ CNET ] "Geek-chic." [ Wall Street Journal ] "2005 Editors' Award for Online Excellence." [ The Morning News ] "Clears the virtual decks." [ The Guardian ] "Relentlessly informative." [ PC Magazine's Top 101 Web Sites ] "Dedicated to making your life more efficient." [ The Christian Science Monitor ] "Cool Site of the Day, 7/8/2005." [ Netscape ] 43 Folders Ask Metafilter Getting Things Done macosxhints Working Smart Boing Boing Sourceforge Steve Pavlina Tricks of the Trade Lifehack.org Geeks to Go Slacker Manager About.com Technology Lifehacker's Kinja digest Overview Archives FAQ Advertising Credits Terms of Use Privacy Policy RSS 2.0 Full Content (ad-supported) RSS 2.0 Partial Content (ad-free) add lifehacker... to kinja to my Yahoo! to newsgator Support Bloggers' Rights!

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eXile - Issue #163 - Whore-R Stories - Whore-r Stories: International Whores' Day - By Genghis Goldberg Moscow-based alternativenewspaper Search the eXile All Issues This Issue This Author This Column | Advanced Search... Email thousands of beautiful Russian Ladies! Home | Archive | Club Guide | Restaurant Guide | Songs | Field Guide To Moscow | Political Trading Cards | About Us Browse Column (19) Previous (4) Next (14) Whore-r Stories: International Whores' Day By Genghis Goldberg Browse Author (8) Previous (4) Next (3) T he buildup to International Women's Day here in Moscow last month was as nauseating as Christmas Season in New England. All those flower vendors, cheesy TV specials and grotesque toasts to womanhood triggered fantasies of cutting off my lady friend's head and storing it in the back of the freezer, behind the Gzhel and the sack of frozen broccoli. There was only one way to avenge this evil: celebrate March 8th with a whore. Not another newspaper whore from our page 23, but a whore picked from an open-air market. So hold on to your latex gloves, folks, cuz I'm a-gonna take you back to March 8th, that magical, enchanting holiday celebrating the mystery and gift of Women. Before we go there I want to take this opportunity to make an aside. Thank God there is no Women's Day holiday in America. I can imagine the layers of irony and suppressed desperation that such a holiday would bring out. The whole inter-gender sickness would gurgle out of the social sewer grill every year on cue: "Oh, I'm sooooo happy you're celebrating me. Tchya, as if." "This holiday is so sexist, you know? No, just kidding! I don't really give a shit about some stupid holiday, you know? I'm not into that whole PC thing?" "No, really, it's okay. Forget it, you know? It's not the holiday that I care about, it's just...forget it, nothing." But why do I torture us both, readers, with horrible reminders of the Repression? We're not in America. Let's move on with our lives. In Russia it's impossible to avoid Women's Day. I used to do the gentlemanly thing and call all the women in my life to wish them all the usual: chlamydia, breast cancer, cellulite... This year I was going for a clean slate. No phone calls. No women. Just a whore. Rudnitsky and I called a taxi at about 9:30 p.m. on Women's Day evening. I instructed the driver to take us to the nocturnal whore colonies that come out to feed on that block of Leninsky Prospekt between Oktyabrskaya metro and Gagarin Ploschad. "Going for sluts?" the burly driver asked. "Yes." The mission cheered our driver up - I always expect Russian taxi drivers to get nationalistic and protective over their womenfolk when I ask them to take me to whore markets, but the opposite is always true: they look at you as a real bloke and often go the extra mile for you. "I don't think you'll find anything on Leninsky now," he suggested. "We should go to the Moskva." "They're too expensive there," I said. He shrugged. We wasted a half hour trawling Leninsky before giving up and going to the Moskva. "I'm telling you, the only hope is the Moskva at this time," he said. "Okay, let's do it." There, a mamochka -- an over-the-hill whore in sweat pants, parka and cap -- waited near the former Dikii Loschad restaurant, bouncing just off the curb. She told us to follow a white Moskvich which was parked just ahead of us. We followed the Moskvich to the Lubyanka bus stop across from the FSB headquarters. The Moskvich stopped in front of a group of dirty Russian cars: one mini-van and two Ladas. This was the tochka. Another mamochka approached, this one younger and Asiatic. "We've got 70, 100 and 150," she said. "Which do you want to see?" "100," I said. Suddenly it was like that scene from the keystone cops: about thirty girls piled out impossibly from cars that should only hold a total of five, then lined up in a semi-circle before our headlights like trained dogs, or like slaves on an auction block. One girl looked enticing: a shy, extremely thin village girl with a big head, big eyes and a terrible hairdo. The problem was she looked too young and skittish. To get the whore-r story for this issue, I needed an older girl who'd been through the hard knocks, a girl with tales to tell. The rest of the 100-dollar line-up looked like something out of the Star Wars bar scene. "Let's see the 150's," I told the mamochka. She shooed the 100 girls back into the sardine pack. Would they be punished, ruined, hurt by the rejection? One should be horrified by the thought, yet for some reason, one got rather aroused. The 150s weren't much better. I chose a tall girl with long black hair and exotic Cossack eyes. Her red vinyl boots went up to her knees. Her name was Alla and she came from Kiev. Rudnitsky seemed to like her and I was wasted enough to listen to him. She must have some interesting whore-r stories to share. When I brought her to my apartment I asked her about the expected upcoming war in Iraq. "Do you think America has gone crazy?" I asked. "Do you think we're aggressive and arrogant, or do you think we have the right to take out Saddam Hussein?" "It is necessary to get rid of him," she said matter-of-factly. "So you support Bush and America?" "Of course," she said. "Hussein is terrible. Who needs people like that in the world?" "But most Russians think that America has gone crazy, turned aggressive." "Get rid of those people too." "Get rid of the Russians who oppose America's war?" "Of course, get rid of them. They complain about everything. They're not civilized." The only thing more exciting than a cute girl who advocates war and concentration camps is when said chick is a whore you've just purchased for the next several hours. On International Women's Day! But the joke was on me. After this auspicious opening, it was all downhill with Alla. She didn't want to drink. She had a bad attitude. When a whore doesn't drink, usually it means she's got a bad attitude. "When did you come out to Moscow?" I asked. "In December." "Did you work as a prostitute in Kiev as well?" "No." "So why did you come to Moscow?" "Work." "Is it better here than in Kiev?" "More money." "Do you miss Kiev?" "Yes." "You're not married?" "No." "How did you find out about the work here?" "A friend in Kiev who worked here told me about it." "Why did you need the money?" I asked. "It's personal. It's not pleasant. Has to do with Kiev." "Do you have a baby?" "No. I take care of my mother and younger sister. It's not pleasant." "Where's your father?" I asked. "I haven't seen him since I was six. Do I have to keep answering? Enough!" I'm starting to think, there's a pattern here when it comes to fathers and Warsaw Pact whores. I've always known that if I ever had children, I'd flee. The guilt would kill me, I can't lie. So the best thing is to not have a child, period. No child, no problem. But what if I had a child, a daughter, and I fled, and my abandoned daughter bloomed into a whore? Wouldn't that be a good thing, bringing joy to the lives of so many empty, exhausted, pathetic men incapable of love or intimacy? Shouldn't I feel pride, rather than guilt, if my daughter became a whore? Of course! Folks, I'm throwing out my condoms tomorrow. Delinquent fatherhood, here I come! Alla wanted to speed things up. She took her whore's bath and lay on my bed. She blew me with a condom. I barely felt it. We had sex. I don't remember much. I was as high as space shuttle dust, and my voice sounded like Froggy's, which made my interrogation of her difficult. Her body was thin and she had an advanced case of squishy whore flesh. She was 23, almost middle-aged by whore standards. She didn't need to do the swipe: her snapper was unusually moist for a prostitute. Which prompted me to ask her if she liked her job. She scowled. "Are you joking? I do it just for money. Who doesn't?" I groggily thought, "Geez, you could at least lie, Alla." I was too high to cum. I punished her for a good half hour or more, until she went dry. Then punished her some more. I thought about the holiday, the flower vendors charging double-price to the idiots, the grotesque TV shows. I thought about nothing. I thought about how long I'd be doing this. I tried to fuck her hard from behind but we weren't even generating hate sparks. I finally pooped out. It ended in a stalemate. All I really wanted was to be alone. So I sent her home early, to both our relief. As Women's Days go, it could have been a lot worse. But as whore-r stories go, it was a wash. Issue In #163 06 Apr 03 (2 years, 9 months old) Also in this Issue Less Is More: the Back-to-Basics Hagfish The Schopenhauer awards are not a beauty contest. And of all our nominees, the Hagfish is the most humble of all... Cafe Ass-ya Restaurant Review ASIA KAFE is an Uzbek cafe just opened in central Moscow... The Republican Guard Feature Story No, not the Iraqi one. We're talking about America's Republican Guard - proactive-war-mongering Republicans and their pundits... Death Porn BACK TO SCHOOL... TURKEY HUNT... EXTRA CREDIT... Your Letters SIC! THE PROPHET... USSA... SAINT SALNIKOV... WAR FAGS... PEDOFOOL... CURIOUSITY KILLED THE SVEN... The Doctor Diesel Test How easy would it be to give away the 23 cans sitting next to our refrigerator?... War Traditions byPepeLePew What we're seeing these days is the age-old story of the American army. They suck... Bardak Calendar Menlo Park... Jethro Tull... Khoroinko Orchestra... Cassius... April Fool's Day April Fool's Day in Moscow's English-language press... America Faces Israel Scenario byMarkAmes The Israel Scenario is already here for Americans. America's descent has just begun... Hours Lacks Hot Chicks Kino Korner byMarkAmes If you must go to the local theaters, then I have to review the movies they're showing... Death March II: the Nature Walk City Beat byJohnDolan Katherine and I decided to go on one of the Sunday "Nature Walks" mentioned in the Moscow Times... Fairytales for the Scared Stupid Book Review byJohnDolan I knew it would be a facile, opportunistic and untenable definitional/moral argument against "terrorism..."... Down We Go! War Nerd byGaryBrecher I'll start by saying what Bush and Rumsfeld won't: "I was wrong." It still blows me away that our brilliant leaders managed to turn Saddam's Army into an effective military force... The "Ne Ochen" Party Club Review byDenisSalnikov I should like to apologize to my readers for the fact that I did not appear at the eXile's party... Set Font This feature requires JavaScript. Other Formats Printer-friendly Plain Text Email Article Email address(es): Note: Affiliate Links By buying from these merchants, you help to support and enhance our online presence. 200 beautiful RussianBrides a week! Photo galleries, personal profiles, introduction services. Travel to Russia Visa support, hotels, train tickets, tours and cruises. See your message here! Write to web_adv at exile ru Interested in advertising? Write to the_exile at mail ru "the eXile". Tel: +7 (095) 795-3376 , fax: +7 (095) 245-1415 E-mail: office at exile ru (website-related issues: webperson at exile ru )

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