Whore Train
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eXile - Issue #163 - Whore-R Stories - Whore-r Stories: International Whores' Day - By Genghis Goldberg Moscow-based alternativenewspaper Search the eXile All Issues This Issue This Author This Column | Advanced Search... Email thousands of beautiful Russian Ladies! Home | Archive | Club Guide | Restaurant Guide | Songs | Field Guide To Moscow | Political Trading Cards | About Us Browse Column (19) Previous (4) Next (14) Whore-r Stories: International Whores' Day By Genghis Goldberg Browse Author (8) Previous (4) Next (3) T he buildup to International Women's Day here in Moscow last month was as nauseating as Christmas Season in New England. All those flower vendors, cheesy TV specials and grotesque toasts to womanhood triggered fantasies of cutting off my lady friend's head and storing it in the back of the freezer, behind the Gzhel and the sack of frozen broccoli. There was only one way to avenge this evil: celebrate March 8th with a whore. Not another newspaper whore from our page 23, but a whore picked from an open-air market. So hold on to your latex gloves, folks, cuz I'm a-gonna take you back to March 8th, that magical, enchanting holiday celebrating the mystery and gift of Women. Before we go there I want to take this opportunity to make an aside. Thank God there is no Women's Day holiday in America. I can imagine the layers of irony and suppressed desperation that such a holiday would bring out. The whole inter-gender sickness would gurgle out of the social sewer grill every year on cue: "Oh, I'm sooooo happy you're celebrating me. Tchya, as if." "This holiday is so sexist, you know? No, just kidding! I don't really give a shit about some stupid holiday, you know? I'm not into that whole PC thing?" "No, really, it's okay. Forget it, you know? It's not the holiday that I care about, it's just...forget it, nothing." But why do I torture us both, readers, with horrible reminders of the Repression? We're not in America. Let's move on with our lives. In Russia it's impossible to avoid Women's Day. I used to do the gentlemanly thing and call all the women in my life to wish them all the usual: chlamydia, breast cancer, cellulite... This year I was going for a clean slate. No phone calls. No women. Just a whore. Rudnitsky and I called a taxi at about 9:30 p.m. on Women's Day evening. I instructed the driver to take us to the nocturnal whore colonies that come out to feed on that block of Leninsky Prospekt between Oktyabrskaya metro and Gagarin Ploschad. "Going for sluts?" the burly driver asked. "Yes." The mission cheered our driver up - I always expect Russian taxi drivers to get nationalistic and protective over their womenfolk when I ask them to take me to whore markets, but the opposite is always true: they look at you as a real bloke and often go the extra mile for you. "I don't think you'll find anything on Leninsky now," he suggested. "We should go to the Moskva." "They're too expensive there," I said. He shrugged. We wasted a half hour trawling Leninsky before giving up and going to the Moskva. "I'm telling you, the only hope is the Moskva at this time," he said. "Okay, let's do it." There, a mamochka -- an over-the-hill whore in sweat pants, parka and cap -- waited near the former Dikii Loschad restaurant, bouncing just off the curb. She told us to follow a white Moskvich which was parked just ahead of us. We followed the Moskvich to the Lubyanka bus stop across from the FSB headquarters. The Moskvich stopped in front of a group of dirty Russian cars: one mini-van and two Ladas. This was the tochka. Another mamochka approached, this one younger and Asiatic. "We've got 70, 100 and 150," she said. "Which do you want to see?" "100," I said. Suddenly it was like that scene from the keystone cops: about thirty girls piled out impossibly from cars that should only hold a total of five, then lined up in a semi-circle before our headlights like trained dogs, or like slaves on an auction block. One girl looked enticing: a shy, extremely thin village girl with a big head, big eyes and a terrible hairdo. The problem was she looked too young and skittish. To get the whore-r story for this issue, I needed an older girl who'd been through the hard knocks, a girl with tales to tell. The rest of the 100-dollar line-up looked like something out of the Star Wars bar scene. "Let's see the 150's," I told the mamochka. She shooed the 100 girls back into the sardine pack. Would they be punished, ruined, hurt by the rejection? One should be horrified by the thought, yet for some reason, one got rather aroused. The 150s weren't much better. I chose a tall girl with long black hair and exotic Cossack eyes. Her red vinyl boots went up to her knees. Her name was Alla and she came from Kiev. Rudnitsky seemed to like her and I was wasted enough to listen to him. She must have some interesting whore-r stories to share. When I brought her to my apartment I asked her about the expected upcoming war in Iraq. "Do you think America has gone crazy?" I asked. "Do you think we're aggressive and arrogant, or do you think we have the right to take out Saddam Hussein?" "It is necessary to get rid of him," she said matter-of-factly. "So you support Bush and America?" "Of course," she said. "Hussein is terrible. Who needs people like that in the world?" "But most Russians think that America has gone crazy, turned aggressive." "Get rid of those people too." "Get rid of the Russians who oppose America's war?" "Of course, get rid of them. They complain about everything. They're not civilized." The only thing more exciting than a cute girl who advocates war and concentration camps is when said chick is a whore you've just purchased for the next several hours. On International Women's Day! But the joke was on me. After this auspicious opening, it was all downhill with Alla. She didn't want to drink. She had a bad attitude. When a whore doesn't drink, usually it means she's got a bad attitude. "When did you come out to Moscow?" I asked. "In December." "Did you work as a prostitute in Kiev as well?" "No." "So why did you come to Moscow?" "Work." "Is it better here than in Kiev?" "More money." "Do you miss Kiev?" "Yes." "You're not married?" "No." "How did you find out about the work here?" "A friend in Kiev who worked here told me about it." "Why did you need the money?" I asked. "It's personal. It's not pleasant. Has to do with Kiev." "Do you have a baby?" "No. I take care of my mother and younger sister. It's not pleasant." "Where's your father?" I asked. "I haven't seen him since I was six. Do I have to keep answering? Enough!" I'm starting to think, there's a pattern here when it comes to fathers and Warsaw Pact whores. I've always known that if I ever had children, I'd flee. The guilt would kill me, I can't lie. So the best thing is to not have a child, period. No child, no problem. But what if I had a child, a daughter, and I fled, and my abandoned daughter bloomed into a whore? Wouldn't that be a good thing, bringing joy to the lives of so many empty, exhausted, pathetic men incapable of love or intimacy? Shouldn't I feel pride, rather than guilt, if my daughter became a whore? Of course! Folks, I'm throwing out my condoms tomorrow. Delinquent fatherhood, here I come! Alla wanted to speed things up. She took her whore's bath and lay on my bed. She blew me with a condom. I barely felt it. We had sex. I don't remember much. I was as high as space shuttle dust, and my voice sounded like Froggy's, which made my interrogation of her difficult. Her body was thin and she had an advanced case of squishy whore flesh. She was 23, almost middle-aged by whore standards. She didn't need to do the swipe: her snapper was unusually moist for a prostitute. Which prompted me to ask her if she liked her job. She scowled. "Are you joking? I do it just for money. Who doesn't?" I groggily thought, "Geez, you could at least lie, Alla." I was too high to cum. I punished her for a good half hour or more, until she went dry. Then punished her some more. I thought about the holiday, the flower vendors charging double-price to the idiots, the grotesque TV shows. I thought about nothing. I thought about how long I'd be doing this. I tried to fuck her hard from behind but we weren't even generating hate sparks. I finally pooped out. It ended in a stalemate. All I really wanted was to be alone. So I sent her home early, to both our relief. As Women's Days go, it could have been a lot worse. But as whore-r stories go, it was a wash. Issue In #163 06 Apr 03 (2 years, 9 months old) Also in this Issue Less Is More: the Back-to-Basics Hagfish The Schopenhauer awards are not a beauty contest. And of all our nominees, the Hagfish is the most humble of all... Cafe Ass-ya Restaurant Review ASIA KAFE is an Uzbek cafe just opened in central Moscow... The Republican Guard Feature Story No, not the Iraqi one. We're talking about America's Republican Guard - proactive-war-mongering Republicans and their pundits... Death Porn BACK TO SCHOOL... TURKEY HUNT... EXTRA CREDIT... Your Letters SIC! THE PROPHET... USSA... SAINT SALNIKOV... WAR FAGS... PEDOFOOL... CURIOUSITY KILLED THE SVEN... The Doctor Diesel Test How easy would it be to give away the 23 cans sitting next to our refrigerator?... War Traditions byPepeLePew What we're seeing these days is the age-old story of the American army. They suck... Bardak Calendar Menlo Park... Jethro Tull... Khoroinko Orchestra... Cassius... April Fool's Day April Fool's Day in Moscow's English-language press... America Faces Israel Scenario byMarkAmes The Israel Scenario is already here for Americans. America's descent has just begun... Hours Lacks Hot Chicks Kino Korner byMarkAmes If you must go to the local theaters, then I have to review the movies they're showing... Death March II: the Nature Walk City Beat byJohnDolan Katherine and I decided to go on one of the Sunday "Nature Walks" mentioned in the Moscow Times... Fairytales for the Scared Stupid Book Review byJohnDolan I knew it would be a facile, opportunistic and untenable definitional/moral argument against "terrorism..."... Down We Go! War Nerd byGaryBrecher I'll start by saying what Bush and Rumsfeld won't: "I was wrong." It still blows me away that our brilliant leaders managed to turn Saddam's Army into an effective military force... The "Ne Ochen" Party Club Review byDenisSalnikov I should like to apologize to my readers for the fact that I did not appear at the eXile's party... Set Font This feature requires JavaScript. Other Formats Printer-friendly Plain Text Email Article Email address(es): Note: Affiliate Links By buying from these merchants, you help to support and enhance our online presence. 200 beautiful RussianBrides a week! Photo galleries, personal profiles, introduction services. Travel to Russia Visa support, hotels, train tickets, tours and cruises. See your message here! Write to web_adv at exile ru Interested in advertising? Write to the_exile at mail ru "the eXile". Tel: +7 (095) 795-3376 , fax: +7 (095) 245-1415 E-mail: office at exile ru (website-related issues: webperson at exile ru )
Bling MySpace
www.myspace.com/blingkong MySpace.com | Home The Web MySpace Help | SignUp Home | Browse | Search | Invite | Rank | Mail | Blog | Favorites | Forum | Groups | Events | Games | Music | Classifieds Videos | Directory | Search | Top Artists | Shows | Features | Music Forums | Music Classifieds | Artist Signup BLING KONG Rock "DO THE AWESOME!!" BROOKLYN, NEW YORK United States Profile Views:6030 Last Login: 1/11/2006 View more pics ContactingBLING KONG MySpace URL: http://www.myspace.com/blingkong blingkong General Info Member Since 8/5/2004 Band Website blingkong.com Band Members THE BAND: Ben "The Wyld Stallyn" Lord Brad "sizzler..." Bennett Brandon "Money Shot" Bussinger Dan "The Pollinator" Hewins "Totally" Jonathan Hanson "Princess" Lea Kalani Liz "Shredder" Schroeter Loren "Cocksucker" Linder Martin "Eurotrash3000" Olson Nicole "Milkshake" Johnson Scott "STEAKBOMB" Gold THE CRU: Dan "Mobiustrip" Sieradski, Alys Kenny, Simone Tobias, Hillary Hartman Influences Rhapsody, New Pornographers, John Cameron Mitchell, Motley Crue, The Go Gos, Wu-Tang, Pulp Sounds Like NEW PUSSY!!! Record Label Redder Records Type of Label Indie Upcoming Shows ( " class="whitelink"view all ) Feb 10 2006 8:00P Southpaw - JELLY Brooklyn, NY BLING KONG's Latest Blog Entry [ Subscribe to this Blog ] HOLY CRAP! ( view more ) [ View All Blog Entries ] About blingkong The Redder office was besieged by sharply-dressed hoodlums and filthy-mouthed cheerleaders, its inhabitants bound and gagged by a pants-less giant ape. One lone intern was singled out, forced to bite a fountain pen, and transcribe a biography directly from the mouths of the screaming, gyrating crew: Bow to your master when BLING KONG calls! We are the first rock extravaganza built around 4 cheerleaders, 3 drummers, 2 guitarists, bassist and a video DJ. We’re the queens and kings of all things super-fantastic and our foray into world domination begins with our first EP, “Do The Awesome.” This phenomenon started when a pile of us got loaded, came up with an idea for a line of T-shirts and decided to start a band to promote the line. No one really remembers why we have cheerleaders; it just makes sense. As far as all the drummers, they’re necessary to get y’alls’ asses a-shakin’. Our live performances are the stuff of legend, earning us loads of good press and the attention of Redder Records, who asked to put out this record after attending only one of our sold-out shows in NYC. Cramming all our epic having-ness onto a disk was a daunting task, but with the help of Dean at Atomic Recording (Andrew WK, The Hold Steady, Bouncing Souls), we made something that will rip you down the seams. Let’s get epic! This disk is designed to incite rampant make-out – at our shows, at parties, in windowless vans. We tour frequently for an 11-person group because it encourages the make-out and because it helps us meet a lot of great people and add to our growing list of rad stories. Sometimes we get hurt: when “...sizzler” fell off the Knitting Factory stage under a stack of speakers but didn’t stop singing. Sometimes it gets epic: the night that started with us getting kicked out of a townie bar after “Princess” led a 30-person a cappella rendition of “Living On A Prayer”. Sometimes stuff just gets weird like when we ended up in some dorm room where we made a couple kids massage each other with a can of baked beans as we threw change. Just touch it! When the Philadelphia City Paper said we “excel at excess ... and the synergistic pomp and pageantry of Andrew W.K., Hedwig and the Angry Inch, Iron Maiden, Spinal Tap and Ziggy Stardust,” we said, “That’s exactly the point!” We take these influences (and many others) and use them as the raw materials to create something big and new and fun that lets us get sweaty singing about getting down. But this is just the beginning. We’ll be touring this fall in support of “Do The Awesome” as well as launching a clothing line and preparing a spectacular set of new songs. Come out and join us! BLING KONG's Friend Space BLING KONG has 857 friends. Tom EmilyLikeWoah Kyndl Houston Ted jesssssee esme engine heart J2K View All ofBLING KONG's Friends BLING KONG's Friends Comments Displaying 48 of 150 comments ( View/Edit All Comments ) Lollipop Magazine 1/9/2006 7:34:00 PM kaijuice 1/6/2006 11:46:00 PM happy 2006 Bling Kong hope 2006 is YOU ! awesomeness beware its time NOW :D Man in Gray 12/30/2005 8:54:00 our new years resolution is to have a lot more sex with bling kong. ok thanks. bye. MiG! english muffin ♥ 12/25/2005 6:14:00 merry christmas! ♥ - Tara *AARON* 12/21/2005 4:11:00 PM David Clement 12/15/2005 9:45:00 PM Rock Awon, Your Biggest Fan, David the Honeymoon's Over 12/13/2005 3:20:00 PM Zombies Ate My Neighbors and My Chance at Dating! 12/12/2005 3:50:00 PM You've got more flava to your step then I do and trust me I am loaded with flava. I'm like early 90's rap neck deep in flava as are YOU! Hell on wheels 12/12/2005 5:25:00 You guys really need to get yer asses over to Stockholm. We seriously need to take your Eurotrash 3000 on a binge (the rest of you can obviously tag along too since you're such a handsome bunch). Suckacockholm over and out/Ricky-oh! (for the ladies) Also new album out soon... or later... or why the hell does anyone ever ask me about anything. I'm just a guitar player... Jay 12/11/2005 7:12:00 PM Awesome show at North Six on Friday! You guys are freakin' amazing...can't wait for the next show!!! bethanne 12/7/2005 1:56:00 PM you guys are wonderful (thanks to heather who told me i had to vote for you guys on monday and i did - several several times.) come to lansing and i can guarentee that you kids will have people to make out with - me included. *AARON* 12/5/2005 8:00:00 PM hey guys! thanks for the postcard! it totally made my day. see you on friiiiiiiiiiiiiday! this time i wont forget to pick up a cd. xo mrs. brightside 11/29/2005 11:14:00 nicole- i read the album review in artvoice. y'all are the awesome! David 11/24/2005 6:31:00 PM Happy Blingsgiving! Fry! 11/22/2005 5:34:00 PM Dear Bling Kong, why isn't 'Let's Get Epic' on the EP? or on your myspace?! such a good song. dugan aka crimson nightshade lightning 11/21/2005 11:43:00 love you! my brother saw you in providence and called me later that night to tell me about you. so you've got 2 more people spreading your word woo! Brad 11/20/2005 6:18:00 PM We need to get you to indy for a show, i saw you at theknitting factory, you will blow people's minds! *AARON* 11/16/2005 11:48:00 PM friday is going to be sick! cant wait to see all you hot motherfuckers. xo will 11/16/2005 1:07:00 PM is it possible to have sex with bling kong? Jenny 11/15/2005 3:06:00 PM I can't wait to stare at your hott asses on sat! Oh, and listen to your lovely melodies......that too. The Battlecats 10/31/2005 4:57:00 PM Happy Halloween from The Battlecats! Trystan 10/31/2005 1:50:00 This could be love. Come back to Chicago whenever the hell you want. abe froman, the sausage KING of chicago 10/29/2005 11:00:00 PM after a show like that... i'd suck bling kong's dick. The Assault 10/28/2005 2:14:00 PM xtine 10/26/2005 12:29:00 PM please don't think your top shelf drinks will get me on my knees Frish 10/25/2005 7:23:00 PM You guys were amazing @ LebowskiFest. I cant wait till you are up in Boston, we need more awsomeness here. Frish *AARON* 10/25/2005 5:20:00 Providence NEEDS you! kaijuice 10/24/2005 1:06:00 PM kaijuice Robby Roadsteamer 10/20/2005 8:47:00 PM How's the whole adding lyrics to music thing going?? Sean 10/20/2005 7:51:00 i hope you do the awsome at the lebowski fest. wish i could be in nyc for it. can't wait to check out the new cd. can't wait for you make it to dc again. World Domin-Dance! sean Nikki 10/15/2005 5:40:00 Boston needs the Kong!!!!! beeeege 10/14/2005 2:24:00 PM you guys make me want to do the awesome every single day. jesse free 10/12/2005 7:30:00 PM Hey. how ya doin... I just wanted to say hi and to tell you that I've got a bunch of new banners and buddy icons on my page. If you wanna spice ur myspace page up a little bit, stop by mine to get some code to add to urs :) Thanks -jesse- www.jessefree.com -SHIBUYA-kei-SETZ-AIMMIN'------> 10/12/2005 2:27:00 ...and I was like, "What the fuck do cheerleaders have ta do wit sexually explicit rock 'n roll and why would those dudes with the wonderful leather hip-huggerz that lay dem coochie dance songs out in Bling K would want to share the spotlite with a buncha girlz.....???and which one is Bling?" Hi, I'm Joe Smith 10/10/2005 10:18:00 PM Hey just for the record: I simply adore hand jobs. UncleFucker 10/6/2005 5:42:00 PM Sorry if you got a blank message from us! It's just us UncleFuckerz sayin' hi and thank all y'all who made our last our an MF blast! With any luck, we'll be back out ASAP getting back to the monumental task of rocking you, screwing you, drinking with you, crashing on your couch, and being stranded on the side of your highway. Holler at us anytime and if you have any great bizniz offers or deals for us, holler sooner than that. UncleFucker is available for weddings, birthday parties, Bachelor(ette)s, Bar Mitzvahs and for those of you who are nuptually inclined, I am a registered minister with 2 kills under his belt that can legally marry you in the heathen religion of your choosing. Burn corporate rock, 911truth.org , Twang 'til you die, we love almost all of you, XOXOX Grizzly UncleFucker 10/6/2005 3:12:00 PM [insert comment here] Redder Records 10/4/2005 12:48:00 PM Dearest BLING KONG, How does Redder love thee? Let us count the ways....No, there are only 3 ways, unless we get complicated. GO GO ROCK AND ROLL! Redder Doug 10/4/2005 7:47:00 WE GOTS TO FIND A PLACE FOR THE BK in the BK at SP very soon. What's up in Nov.? desiree 10/3/2005 3:51:00 PM oh i love you, bling kong. you were fabulous on saturday night! Andy D 10/3/2005 7:29:00 I want to be your rapper. This has been Andy D. Rebecca Nurse 10/3/2005 7:09:00 Hi guys, thanks for adding us. ROCK ON! GEORGE MUCUS 9/30/2005 9:25:00 PM according to you guys, i have it going on twice. does that mean i'm fat? Launchpad McQuack 9/30/2005 5:33:00 PM show me your titties. The Swayback 9/30/2005 1:56:00 PM ow! car 9/30/2005 11:33:00 oooohhhh yeah! BattleOfNY 9/29/2005 5:20:00 PM oh no no no....YOU'RE DYN-O-MITE!!! EAST SYYYYYYYYYYYDE!! Cityzen.tv 9/29/2005 11:53:00 Bling Kong kicked my ass at the last Lebowski Fest. Nice to see that you will be appearing again! Please forward your press kit to us so that we can schedule you for a review or profile. BTW, Bling Kong so should have been a part of the Starbuck "Roy" commercial. You have a much better cheering section. Craig@Cityzen.tv www.cityzen.tv Add Comment About | FAQ | Terms | Privacy | " target="_blank" Safety Tips | Contact Myspace | Promote! | Advertise | MySpace Shop ©2003 MySpace.com. All Rights Reserved.
Cool Background For MySpace
www.myspace.com/haydren MySpace.com | Home The Web MySpace Help | SignUp Home | Browse | Search | Invite | Rank | Mail | Blog | Favorites | Forum | Groups | Events | Games | Music | Classifieds haydren Male 20 years old PENNSYLVANIA Last Login: 01/11/2006 View more pics Contacting haydren MySpace URL: http://www.myspace.com/haydren haydren's Interests General ALL STUFF YOU WANT IN BOX 1 HERE ALL STUFF YOU WANT IN BOX 2 HERE ALL STUFF YOU WANT IN BOX 3 HERE ALL STUFF YOU WANT IN BOX 4 HERE ALL STUFF YOU WANT IN BOX 5 HERE ALL STUFF YOU WANT IN BOX 6 HERE ALL STUFF YOU WANT IN BOX 7 HERE ALL STUFF YOU WANT IN BOX 8 HERE ALL STUFF YOU WANT IN BOX 9 HERE haydren's Details Status: Single Here for: Friends Body Type: 6' 1"/Average Ethnicity: White / Caucasian Religion: Christian - other Sign: Aquarius Smoke / Drink: Yes / Yes haydren's Schools Warwick Shs Lititz,Pennsylvania Grad Year: 2003 Student Status: Alumni From 2002 to 2003 haydren is in your extended network haydren's Latest Blog Entry [ Subscribe to this Blog ] [ View All Blog Entries ] haydren's Blurbs About me: Who I'd like to meet: haydren's Friend Space haydren has 261 friends. Pillar we're all FAKE. Greg Fox AshLie thinks GALLYS fuckin Craaaazy ♥ elizabeth &alicia; ♥ ♥ Pure Pleasure -Jennifer Lynn- View All of haydren's Friends haydren'sFriends Comments Displaying 38 of 38 comments ( View/Edit All Comments ) Esclave de Toi Dec 31, 2005 07:30 PM a href="http://www.blinkyou.com" target="_blank" Greg Fox Dec 31, 2005 03:11 PM OK man, Heres the Top Ten list of things to do on New Years Eve in Lancaster: 10. Chug molasses 'til you heave 9. Wet bonnet contest 8. Stuff as many guys as you can into a buggy 7. Buttermilk keggar 6. Blow past the Dairy Queen on a really bitchin' Clydesdale 5. Get a tattoo: "Born to raise barns" 4. Cruise streets of Belleville shouting insults at people with zippers 3. Sleep 'til 6 AM 2. Drive over to Allensville and kick some Mennonite ass 1. Churn butter naked Greg Fox Dec 31, 2005 09:47 AM Bwahahaha, well, Now I know who to call next time my GF Diane wants me to rearrange her furniture! :) Pure Pleasure Dec 31, 2005 03:39 AM You too! Thanks for the annoying music! Greg Fox Dec 31, 2005 12:22 AM Wow, sliders everywhere! Neat dude! Happy new years Justin! Hope you have an awesome evening tomorrow buddy! I like your new profile look! Its splendiferous or something, um whatever ha ha!! WS WG Dec 30, 2005 10:46 PM Happy new year! N? Dec 29, 2005 03:06 PM Greg Fox Dec 27, 2005 12:51 AM Jeeze louise Justin, you have way too much time on your hands man! :) Interesting layout tho! David Ludwig The Movie Dec 20, 2005 12:34 AM whats up man thanks for the add Pure Pleasure Dec 18, 2005 04:42 AM do you think they'll broadcast it over the internet? that would be sweet Pure Pleasure Dec 17, 2005 01:17 AM they're going to give him the death penalty Gretch Dec 16, 2005 06:56 PM thanx for the add :) Greg Fox Dec 13, 2005 12:10 PM Where did your pictures go Justin, doing some housecleaning bro? So are you doing anything for Christmas dude? I think im going to go to some parties and then just chill myself, no drama hopefully this year ha ha. Courtney Dec 12, 2005 05:54 PM Not much, you? Shooot! I'M SO SLEEPY. I'm hungry as well. Hmmmm. Chicago's B96 Dec 12, 2005 12:29 PM Thanks for the support!! Courtney Dec 11, 2005 08:47 PM Hello. :} ♥Can't you feel it rolling off your lips Dec 10, 2005 10:13 PM im doing great....... ♥Can't you feel it rolling off your lips Dec 10, 2005 09:40 PM heey whats up? Dec 8, 2005 02:24 PM Hey Justin! Dude I need to give you some advice! If you have a girlfriend or get one soon...... And you sneek out all night, then come back and he dad yells at you. Don't shoot him! Alright? Sweet! Wendy Dec 6, 2005 09:13 PM Sure is. Better respect your elders, son. Life is a-ok. How's yours? MegAnn Dec 6, 2005 03:13 PM heylo ^^ Jason The Great Dec 5, 2005 03:58 PM add a place for "gang related" Pure Pleasure Dec 4, 2005 11:28 PM I noticed your poll! But you for got to include... He did it because he loved her and he thought that killing her parents was the only way they could be together. But still guilty. You know this would make a really good movie I think. I could play David! lindsomatic Dec 4, 2005 10:55 PM hi thanks Sir PaintBall Dec 4, 2005 06:20 PM Nothin much, and np Lani is gone Dec 4, 2005 05:07 PM How'd you get this Myspace? Are you friends with David? Wendy Dec 4, 2005 04:40 PM Nothing much, you? Pure Pleasure Dec 4, 2005 04:01 PM wow you sure did get a lot of friends fast it went from 20 to 87 over night! people keep adding you in hopes of talking to david, or the girl AshLie thinks GALLYS fuckin Craaaazy ♥ Dec 4, 2005 03:36 PM Hey Justin thanx 4 the add...how did u get this URL I found it in a magazine thought it was weird......Hmmmm hit me back Dec 4, 2005 03:22 PM Hi Justin, thanks for adding me. erin<3 Dec 4, 2005 02:52 PM haY haY what have you been up too? E R I N Dec 4, 2005 02:13 AM Hey you actually added me! Thanks man, so I'm confused..... why do you have the Haydren address now? we're all FAKE. Dec 3, 2005 06:27 PM heya justin :) nothin really. just watchin tv bein bored. what about you? its the number twelve looks like you - if these bullets could talk. ♥ Kathleen [hates myspace & still "too legit"] Roxas Dec 3, 2005 06:01 PM DRINKINN 40's in tha hood. WHATTTTTT UP? Jason The Great Dec 3, 2005 02:35 PM Sup justin, what ever happened to little david ludwig? Greg Fox Dec 2, 2005 08:46 PM Oh , Im just Chillin bro, my Squeeze is out of town this weekend so Im batcheloring it and can do what I want. Which is prob nothing ha ha. we're all FAKE. Dec 1, 2005 08:14 PM heya. whats goin on? Greg Fox Dec 1, 2005 08:38 AM Hey Justin! Hows life treatin ya bro? Add Comment About | FAQ | Terms | Privacy | Safety Tips | Contact Myspace | Promote! | Advertise ©2003-2006 MySpace.com All Rights Reserved.
Bling MySpace
www.myspace.com/blingkong MySpace.com | Home The Web MySpace Help | SignUp Home | Browse | Search | Invite | Rank | Mail | Blog | Favorites | Forum | Groups | Events | Games | Music | Classifieds Videos | Directory | Search | Top Artists | Shows | Features | Music Forums | Music Classifieds | Artist Signup BLING KONG Rock "DO THE AWESOME!!" BROOKLYN, NEW YORK United States Profile Views:6030 Last Login: 1/11/2006 View more pics ContactingBLING KONG MySpace URL: http://www.myspace.com/blingkong blingkong General Info Member Since 8/5/2004 Band Website blingkong.com Band Members THE BAND: Ben "The Wyld Stallyn" Lord Brad "sizzler..." Bennett Brandon "Money Shot" Bussinger Dan "The Pollinator" Hewins "Totally" Jonathan Hanson "Princess" Lea Kalani Liz "Shredder" Schroeter Loren "Cocksucker" Linder Martin "Eurotrash3000" Olson Nicole "Milkshake" Johnson Scott "STEAKBOMB" Gold THE CRU: Dan "Mobiustrip" Sieradski, Alys Kenny, Simone Tobias, Hillary Hartman Influences Rhapsody, New Pornographers, John Cameron Mitchell, Motley Crue, The Go Gos, Wu-Tang, Pulp Sounds Like NEW PUSSY!!! Record Label Redder Records Type of Label Indie Upcoming Shows ( " class="whitelink"view all ) Feb 10 2006 8:00P Southpaw - JELLY Brooklyn, NY BLING KONG's Latest Blog Entry [ Subscribe to this Blog ] HOLY CRAP! ( view more ) [ View All Blog Entries ] About blingkong The Redder office was besieged by sharply-dressed hoodlums and filthy-mouthed cheerleaders, its inhabitants bound and gagged by a pants-less giant ape. One lone intern was singled out, forced to bite a fountain pen, and transcribe a biography directly from the mouths of the screaming, gyrating crew: Bow to your master when BLING KONG calls! We are the first rock extravaganza built around 4 cheerleaders, 3 drummers, 2 guitarists, bassist and a video DJ. We’re the queens and kings of all things super-fantastic and our foray into world domination begins with our first EP, “Do The Awesome.” This phenomenon started when a pile of us got loaded, came up with an idea for a line of T-shirts and decided to start a band to promote the line. No one really remembers why we have cheerleaders; it just makes sense. As far as all the drummers, they’re necessary to get y’alls’ asses a-shakin’. Our live performances are the stuff of legend, earning us loads of good press and the attention of Redder Records, who asked to put out this record after attending only one of our sold-out shows in NYC. Cramming all our epic having-ness onto a disk was a daunting task, but with the help of Dean at Atomic Recording (Andrew WK, The Hold Steady, Bouncing Souls), we made something that will rip you down the seams. Let’s get epic! This disk is designed to incite rampant make-out – at our shows, at parties, in windowless vans. We tour frequently for an 11-person group because it encourages the make-out and because it helps us meet a lot of great people and add to our growing list of rad stories. Sometimes we get hurt: when “...sizzler” fell off the Knitting Factory stage under a stack of speakers but didn’t stop singing. Sometimes it gets epic: the night that started with us getting kicked out of a townie bar after “Princess” led a 30-person a cappella rendition of “Living On A Prayer”. Sometimes stuff just gets weird like when we ended up in some dorm room where we made a couple kids massage each other with a can of baked beans as we threw change. Just touch it! When the Philadelphia City Paper said we “excel at excess ... and the synergistic pomp and pageantry of Andrew W.K., Hedwig and the Angry Inch, Iron Maiden, Spinal Tap and Ziggy Stardust,” we said, “That’s exactly the point!” We take these influences (and many others) and use them as the raw materials to create something big and new and fun that lets us get sweaty singing about getting down. But this is just the beginning. We’ll be touring this fall in support of “Do The Awesome” as well as launching a clothing line and preparing a spectacular set of new songs. Come out and join us! BLING KONG's Friend Space BLING KONG has 857 friends. Tom EmilyLikeWoah Kyndl Houston Ted jesssssee esme engine heart J2K View All ofBLING KONG's Friends BLING KONG's Friends Comments Displaying 48 of 150 comments ( View/Edit All Comments ) Lollipop Magazine 1/9/2006 7:34:00 PM kaijuice 1/6/2006 11:46:00 PM happy 2006 Bling Kong hope 2006 is YOU ! awesomeness beware its time NOW :D Man in Gray 12/30/2005 8:54:00 our new years resolution is to have a lot more sex with bling kong. ok thanks. bye. MiG! english muffin ♥ 12/25/2005 6:14:00 merry christmas! ♥ - Tara *AARON* 12/21/2005 4:11:00 PM David Clement 12/15/2005 9:45:00 PM Rock Awon, Your Biggest Fan, David the Honeymoon's Over 12/13/2005 3:20:00 PM Zombies Ate My Neighbors and My Chance at Dating! 12/12/2005 3:50:00 PM You've got more flava to your step then I do and trust me I am loaded with flava. I'm like early 90's rap neck deep in flava as are YOU! Hell on wheels 12/12/2005 5:25:00 You guys really need to get yer asses over to Stockholm. We seriously need to take your Eurotrash 3000 on a binge (the rest of you can obviously tag along too since you're such a handsome bunch). Suckacockholm over and out/Ricky-oh! (for the ladies) Also new album out soon... or later... or why the hell does anyone ever ask me about anything. I'm just a guitar player... Jay 12/11/2005 7:12:00 PM Awesome show at North Six on Friday! You guys are freakin' amazing...can't wait for the next show!!! bethanne 12/7/2005 1:56:00 PM you guys are wonderful (thanks to heather who told me i had to vote for you guys on monday and i did - several several times.) come to lansing and i can guarentee that you kids will have people to make out with - me included. *AARON* 12/5/2005 8:00:00 PM hey guys! thanks for the postcard! it totally made my day. see you on friiiiiiiiiiiiiday! this time i wont forget to pick up a cd. xo mrs. brightside 11/29/2005 11:14:00 nicole- i read the album review in artvoice. y'all are the awesome! David 11/24/2005 6:31:00 PM Happy Blingsgiving! Fry! 11/22/2005 5:34:00 PM Dear Bling Kong, why isn't 'Let's Get Epic' on the EP? or on your myspace?! such a good song. dugan aka crimson nightshade lightning 11/21/2005 11:43:00 love you! my brother saw you in providence and called me later that night to tell me about you. so you've got 2 more people spreading your word woo! Brad 11/20/2005 6:18:00 PM We need to get you to indy for a show, i saw you at theknitting factory, you will blow people's minds! *AARON* 11/16/2005 11:48:00 PM friday is going to be sick! cant wait to see all you hot motherfuckers. xo will 11/16/2005 1:07:00 PM is it possible to have sex with bling kong? Jenny 11/15/2005 3:06:00 PM I can't wait to stare at your hott asses on sat! Oh, and listen to your lovely melodies......that too. The Battlecats 10/31/2005 4:57:00 PM Happy Halloween from The Battlecats! Trystan 10/31/2005 1:50:00 This could be love. Come back to Chicago whenever the hell you want. abe froman, the sausage KING of chicago 10/29/2005 11:00:00 PM after a show like that... i'd suck bling kong's dick. The Assault 10/28/2005 2:14:00 PM xtine 10/26/2005 12:29:00 PM please don't think your top shelf drinks will get me on my knees Frish 10/25/2005 7:23:00 PM You guys were amazing @ LebowskiFest. I cant wait till you are up in Boston, we need more awsomeness here. Frish *AARON* 10/25/2005 5:20:00 Providence NEEDS you! kaijuice 10/24/2005 1:06:00 PM kaijuice Robby Roadsteamer 10/20/2005 8:47:00 PM How's the whole adding lyrics to music thing going?? Sean 10/20/2005 7:51:00 i hope you do the awsome at the lebowski fest. wish i could be in nyc for it. can't wait to check out the new cd. can't wait for you make it to dc again. World Domin-Dance! sean Nikki 10/15/2005 5:40:00 Boston needs the Kong!!!!! beeeege 10/14/2005 2:24:00 PM you guys make me want to do the awesome every single day. jesse free 10/12/2005 7:30:00 PM Hey. how ya doin... I just wanted to say hi and to tell you that I've got a bunch of new banners and buddy icons on my page. If you wanna spice ur myspace page up a little bit, stop by mine to get some code to add to urs :) Thanks -jesse- www.jessefree.com -SHIBUYA-kei-SETZ-AIMMIN'------> 10/12/2005 2:27:00 ...and I was like, "What the fuck do cheerleaders have ta do wit sexually explicit rock 'n roll and why would those dudes with the wonderful leather hip-huggerz that lay dem coochie dance songs out in Bling K would want to share the spotlite with a buncha girlz.....???and which one is Bling?" Hi, I'm Joe Smith 10/10/2005 10:18:00 PM Hey just for the record: I simply adore hand jobs. UncleFucker 10/6/2005 5:42:00 PM Sorry if you got a blank message from us! It's just us UncleFuckerz sayin' hi and thank all y'all who made our last our an MF blast! With any luck, we'll be back out ASAP getting back to the monumental task of rocking you, screwing you, drinking with you, crashing on your couch, and being stranded on the side of your highway. Holler at us anytime and if you have any great bizniz offers or deals for us, holler sooner than that. UncleFucker is available for weddings, birthday parties, Bachelor(ette)s, Bar Mitzvahs and for those of you who are nuptually inclined, I am a registered minister with 2 kills under his belt that can legally marry you in the heathen religion of your choosing. Burn corporate rock, 911truth.org , Twang 'til you die, we love almost all of you, XOXOX Grizzly UncleFucker 10/6/2005 3:12:00 PM [insert comment here] Redder Records 10/4/2005 12:48:00 PM Dearest BLING KONG, How does Redder love thee? Let us count the ways....No, there are only 3 ways, unless we get complicated. GO GO ROCK AND ROLL! Redder Doug 10/4/2005 7:47:00 WE GOTS TO FIND A PLACE FOR THE BK in the BK at SP very soon. What's up in Nov.? desiree 10/3/2005 3:51:00 PM oh i love you, bling kong. you were fabulous on saturday night! Andy D 10/3/2005 7:29:00 I want to be your rapper. This has been Andy D. Rebecca Nurse 10/3/2005 7:09:00 Hi guys, thanks for adding us. ROCK ON! GEORGE MUCUS 9/30/2005 9:25:00 PM according to you guys, i have it going on twice. does that mean i'm fat? Launchpad McQuack 9/30/2005 5:33:00 PM show me your titties. The Swayback 9/30/2005 1:56:00 PM ow! car 9/30/2005 11:33:00 oooohhhh yeah! BattleOfNY 9/29/2005 5:20:00 PM oh no no no....YOU'RE DYN-O-MITE!!! EAST SYYYYYYYYYYYDE!! Cityzen.tv 9/29/2005 11:53:00 Bling Kong kicked my ass at the last Lebowski Fest. Nice to see that you will be appearing again! Please forward your press kit to us so that we can schedule you for a review or profile. BTW, Bling Kong so should have been a part of the Starbuck "Roy" commercial. You have a much better cheering section. Craig@Cityzen.tv www.cityzen.tv Add Comment About | FAQ | Terms | Privacy | " target="_blank" Safety Tips | Contact Myspace | Promote! | Advertise | MySpace Shop ©2003 MySpace.com. All Rights Reserved.
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