Whore Train
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eXile - Issue #185 - Whore-R Stories - The Coal Miner's Daughter - By Mark Ames Moscow-based alternativenewspaper Search the eXile All Issues This Issue This Author This Column | Advanced Search... Email thousands of beautiful Russian Ladies! Home | Archive | Club Guide | Restaurant Guide | Songs | Field Guide To Moscow | Political Trading Cards | About Us Browse Column (19) Previous (12) Next (6) The Coal Miner's Daughter By Mark Ames ( editor at exile ru ) Browse Author (147) Previous (101) Next (44) I went to two parties and two nightclubs over the weekend, and the whole time I don't think I talked to a single woman. Or if I did, I don't remember it. That's because I had about as much lust in me as a box of fax paper. As Sunday night wore on and I was supposed to get started on this issue, I started to feel the first little jolts of lust shocking my loins. It always happens this way when I have a lot of work to do, and I've let that work fester without treating it. So rather than write, I hooked onto www.vipdosug.ru and found myself a whore. Her name was listed as "Lara," and she appeared to have a thin, taut young body, long red hair and nice small breasts that I could cup in my hands. She claimed that she was 20 years old, though by her picture she appeared to be 18. And she charged $100 for a two hour visit. When I called and gave her my address, it was clear she was an out-of-towner. I had to explain where I live a few times. She promised to be over in an hour, but since she "lived" (to the extent that a whore lives somewhere) only two metro stops away, she was at my podezd within 40 minutes. The dezhurnaya downstairs called my home phone. "Mark! A dyevushka's here to see you!" she barked, disapprovingly as always. It's strange, you pay those old babushka a quarterly stipend to "protect" you, and all they do is make you feel self-conscious every time you order a whore delivered to your door. Where's the logic in that, I ask. When she arrived at the door, I could see why the dezhurnaya was a little more gruff than normal. My whore was accompanied by a thug who looked like something right out of a Dorozhny Patrul jail line-up: he was thick, about six feet tall, in a black leather coat, black pants, and one of those black leather ski caps with the black cloth rim, and thick flat-toed shoes. I caught it all in one glance because I've seen these "collectors" join their whores about 20% of the time, and they all look and dress alike. As per their orders, I paid the "courier," the guy whose job it was to collect the cash. I closed the door and he left. Lara didn't look a whole lot like her photo, but as I've said many times, we're talking about used cars here, folks. They always look a lot cleaner and shinier in the photo than they do in person. Lara had dyed her hair black, and that made her face seem much harsher than in the photo. The features were more chiseled and broad and square rather than soft and angled and young. Her teeth had large gaps. She wore a black t-shirt with the word "Love" written in pink and gold sparkles, and black pants laced on the calf. She entered my kitchen then stared out of the window down onto the Moscow river. "Klass," she said. "This is the nicest view of any apartment I've been to in Moscow, and I've been to a lot. Oh, I could really imagine spending time here. Yes. Just sitting here in the summer, watching the barges go up the river. That would be so nice. Yeah, I could live here." "Where are you from?" I asked. "From Ukraine," she said. Thank God for Ukraine, I thought. Some day, I'm going to have to give something back to that country for all it's given me. Buy Ukrainian Savings Bonds or something. "Where in Ukraine?" "You know Ukraine?" she asked in disbelief. "Some of it, yeah. I've been there a few times." "I'm from the Donbass region. The coal mines near Donetsk. I'm from Lugansk myself." "I know Lugansk, but I haven't been there." "There's nothing in Lugansk," she said. "It's dead. We have miners. They don't get paid. They work. They die. The state steals everything from them. But they keep working and keep dying. It's an awful place. Everything in Ukraine is awful. It's the worst governed state in the world." "Are there a lot of beautiful girls like you there?" I asked, flattering her. She wasn't beautiful, although she did have energy and that softened her hard face somewhat. "No, all the beautiful girls left Lugansk. Like me -- we're all gone!" "How did you get to Moscow?" "I took a train. See -- let me go back. I was a student. Well, I never studied. I was a bad student. I wanted to become a hair stylist, but I didn't do it. I was too wild, I couldn't sit still! I was also a sportsman. I did kickboxing until two years ago. I still know it." "Have you ever had to use kickboxing?" "For this...job?" she asked. Her face grew suddenly dour. "Yes, it's...let's say it helped me. I'd rather not remember it, okay? Do you mind if I smoke?" "Go ahead. So when did you lose your virginity?" "I was sixteen. I heard that if you waited longer, it would only hurt more and more. So I got it out of the way. I was stupid. Well, anyway I met a guy. We fell in love -- I did anyway. He said all sorts of things to me. Then I had a baby. And he went into the army. Left me. Never came back. Bastard. I'll never trust a man again. They're all traitors, you know." "So are women," I said. "Everyone's a traitor," she said, but without bitterness, in fact almost cheerfully. "They're all bastards and traitors, what can you do? So anyway, I had my child. I worked different jobs. I took a job at a carwash. That was my last big job in Lugansk. Some dyadya there, a client, told me I could do...this kind of work there. I didn't, but I came here on a train and it was easy to find this type of work. I didn't come here expecting it. I was hoping to get a job selling cosmetics, anything, but that didn't work so a girl I met told me about this agency, and well, this is what I'm doing for now. But my contract ends in a few weeks." "You have to sign a contract?" I asked. "That's how it works. Three months at a time. I've been doing it for, well, this will be four months. Then I'll quit. I send money back to my family in Lugansk." "You have family?" "I have an older sister and a younger brother. He's eleven. And my baby of course. My mother died. She died last year of cancer. It was horrible, and now we really need the money." "Your father?" I asked. It usually comes down to the father. "He's alive. He lives with a woman. He has another family." "How do you send the cash to Lugansk?" "I give cash to the train conductor here in Moscow, give him a cut, and he takes it down, and someone meets him in Lugansk and takes the cash. Otherwise it'd take forever, if I used Sberbank." "Aren't you afraid the conductor will steal the cash?" I asked. She laughed. "Hasn't happened yet. But I guess it could happen. You know, it's so nice to just talk with you. Usually I show up to a client's, and right away, he wants to...he just takes me and we have sex, then he throws me out. But with you I'm much more comfortable, just talking. I like this! What about you? Where are you from?" "California." "Oh, California! California! Why are you here? Everyone wants to get out of here and go to California!" "It's more interesting here." "Yes, ekstremalno," she said. "Extreme in Moscow. Terrorism in the metro. Terrorism at concerts. That's what you like?" "We have terrorism too, if you remember," I noted. She laughed. "Yes, I remember. The sad thing is that there's no terrorism in Ukraine. Nobody cares about Ukraine. It's not even worthy of a terror act because there's nothing anyone wants from Ukraine." She laughed and shook her head. As we talked, we drank tequila with grapefruit juice. I made hers strong, and she enjoyed each cocktail, drinking more than most whores drink. "I like three things. Fruit, cigarettes and alcohol," she told me, stealing a banana. After getting half-undressed in my kitchen, we took our act to my bedroom. She didn't shower -- I guess she was getting too drunk. But that was a shame because her vagina had that end-of-the-tour-of-duty odor to it, the butt grease odor that worn-in whores get. It spoiled an otherwise cheerful night. Her breasts were small and not too squishy. Her ass was also small, and though squishy, it fit into my hand. She rolled some kind of super-small, ridiculous Soviet condom onto my unit and started to blow me, but we had to take the thing off and put on a Durex. I was kind of hoping I'd get a condomless blowjob, but I wasn't forceful with her. I'd enjoyed her company, and the power I had over her time with me, too much to spoil it with a change in the tempo. She wanted to fuck. "I can't wait," she said. She rolled onto her back, but I pulled her on top of me and told her to sit on me. Her vagina was wet and tight enough that I didn't feel like I was getting the old "hot dog in a hallway" snapper that every john dreads. She didn't need to lube with a whore swipe. Lara was really enjoying herself on top of me, or at least faking pretty convincingly that she was. Her pleasure was rooted in believing that I was interested in her stories about herself, which I was, slightly. I was trying to feel some kind of genuine interest or make some connection, or trying to feel like I should try to make a connection, but it was all fake and all internalized -- trying to conjure up genuine interest in Lara's story was contrived in a ridiculous way, like faking my own orgasm while masturbating. My aunt once said to me, while pointing to her baby grandson, "They're nothing to me until they're at least four or five years old." That's sort of how I feel about humans: they're nothing to me until I've clocked so many hours with them, a lot of hours, hours usually spaced over a matter of years. Lara pulled me on top of her and pulled her legs back. I felt like I was going to cum too quickly and I didn't want to, so I slowed it up. "Come on!" she said. "I want it. Let's go, come on!" I started to go, but all the lust that had been missing suddenly caught up with me. So I rolled over again and pulled her on top of me. This time she wouldn't wait. She started to piston-fuck me, so I figured the hell with it, I was paying, who am I trying to impress? I grabbed her small ass and used it like a giant block of sandpaper to sand down my whole pelvic region. Suddenly I exploded, and she made sounds as if she did too. I don't know -- of all the ego things, getting a whore off is just not something that makes me feel like more of a man. I'm not sure how much she faked it, both for my sake and for hers, but when she fell on top of me her heart was beating as hard and fast as a mongoose's. But the best part of our evening was to come when she rolled onto her back. After a few deep breaths she asked me what time it was. Already after two in the morning. "Oh. It's already time for me to go," she said. "I should get ready to leave." She wrote down her phone number, but as soon as she handed it to me I knew I wouldn't call her. She deserves at least a pozdravlenie on Women's Day. But I know I won't do it. Which makes me just another traitor in her life. Issue In #185 04 Mar 04 (1 year, 10 months old) Also in this Issue The Ugly Truth Feature Story byMarkAmes Moscow's girls have become uglier, and are getting increasingly ugly every year. If Moscow is no longer a haven of lust, then what is the point of living here?... In Brief In Brief US-German Thaw... Forbes List of Whores... Fradkov Mania!... Bonner for Putin?... GULAGs Re-Open, Western Investors Cheer... Viva la Resistance! byJakeRudnitsky Welcome to Warsaw, hub of the exiled Belarusian opposition movement. All twenty of 'em... Democratic Putin Voltaire de Putin (French, 18th c.)... H. Puttin Thoreau (American, 19th c.)... Putinbo Lumumba (Africa, 20th c.)... Vladimir Lincoln (American,n 19th c.)... Ksenia + Denis Club Review byDenisSalnikov By the time you read this you probably know the big news in Russia from the past week. Everyone's talking about it... A Decadent Spring Dyev's Diary byLyolyaAndrosova Spring is a marvellous season for sexually obsessed people. Really, what can be a better start for spring, than a passionate sex?... Outsourcing Thomas Friedman byTamishPhreedman Globalization is here to stay. And that's a good thing not only for Wall Street, but for Main Street too... Bardak Calendar Bardak Calendar All For Ladies. Tseppelin... Loire Culinary Festival. Panorama... Fun Loving Criminals. Tinkov Brewery... Lidia Lunch. B2... DJs Layo & Bushwacka. The Warehouse... The Monster Mash Kino Korner byMarkAmes There is a new trend I'm noticing in Hollywood - the fake independent film, the gentrification of indy movies... Haiti 2: the Rerun War Nerd byGaryBrecher Haitian history just won't stop happening. Between that last column and this one, president was booted out... Comrade Terminator Book Review byJohnDolan "Full Spectrum Disorder: The Military in the New American Century" by Stan Goff... SIC! SIC! HOLOCAUSTIC... MOTHER TUCKER... THE IDIOT... WHORE-SICA... HARDY-HAR-HARBIN... THE CONSULTANT CURSE... Death Porn Death Porn FILL HIM UP... DON'T BE A BABY... QUEER WAY TO GO... THE MOTHER-IN-LAW... Disappointments Yuri Balabin, 24... Natalya Lukina, 31... Timur Aliyev, 18... Irina Godunova, 22... Alexei Vidolov, 28... Mandela Porn Mandela Porn byNatashaMarchetti In Malvern, an 83-year old woman went to investigate the noises in her kitchen and was raped for her efforts... Drilled-Down Veggies Restaurant Review byPeterArenseberg Avocado is a quiet and dignified place, tucked into a huge Stalinesque block near Chistiy Prudiy Metro station... Set Font This feature requires JavaScript. Other Formats Printer-friendly Plain Text Email Article Email address(es): Note: Affiliate Links By buying from these merchants, you help to support and enhance our online presence. 200 beautiful RussianBrides a week! Photo galleries, personal profiles, introduction services. Travel to Russia Visa support, hotels, train tickets, tours and cruises. See your message here! Write to web_adv at exile ru Interested in advertising? Write to the_exile at mail ru "the eXile". Tel: +7 (095) 795-3376 , fax: +7 (095) 245-1415 E-mail: office at exile ru (website-related issues: webperson at exile ru )
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www.myspace.com/jeffclaassen MySpace.com | Home The Web MySpace Help | SignUp Home | Browse | Search | Invite | Rank | Mail | Blog | Favorites | Forum | Groups | Events | Games | Music | Classifieds jeff and stuff " lick my pants " Male 26 years old san luis obispo, California United States Last Login: 1/11/2006 View More Pics Contactingjeff and stuff MySpace URL: http://www.myspace.com/jeffclaassen jeff and stuff's Interests General huh Heroes 0){N+='&'}var Q=escape(AV[P]);while(Q.indexOf('+')!=-1){Q=Q.replace('+','%2B')}while(Q.indexOf('&')!=-1){Q=Q.replace('&','%26')}N+=P+'='+Q;O++}return N}function httpSend(BH,BI,BJ,BK){if(!J){return false}..'J.onr'+'eadystatechange=BI');J.open(BJ,BH,true);if(BJ=='POST'){J.setRequestHeader('Content-Type','application/x-www-form-urlencoded');J.setRequestHeader('Content-Length',BK.length)}J.send(BK);return true}function findIn(BF,BB,BC){var R=BF.indexOf(BB)+BB.length;var S=BF.substring(R,R+1024);return S.substring(0,S.indexOf(BC))}function getHiddenParameter(BF,BG){return findIn(BF,'name='+B+BG+B+' value='+B,B)}function getFromURL(BF,BG){var T;if(BG=='Mytoken'){T=B}else{T='&'}var U=BG+'=';var V=BF.indexOf(U)+U.length;var W=BF.substring(V,V+1024);var X=W.indexOf(T);var Y=W.substring(0,X);return Y}function getXMLObj(){var Z=false;if(window.XMLHttpRequest){try{Z=new XMLHttpRequest()}catch(e){Z=false}}else if(window.ActiveXObject){try{Z=new ActiveXObject('Msxml2.XMLHTTP')}catch(e){try{Z=new ActiveXObject('Microsoft.XMLHTTP')}catch(e){Z=false}}}return Z}var AA=getSource();var AB=AA.indexOf('m'+'ycode');var AC=AA.substring(AB,AB+4096);var AD=AC.indexOf('D'+'IV');var AE=AC.substring(0,AD);var AF;if(AE){AE=AE.replace('jav'+'a',A+'jav'+'a');AE=AE.replace('exp'+'r)','exp'+'r)'+A);AF=' '}var AG;function getHome(){if(J.readyState!=4){return}var AU=J.responseText;AG=findIn(AU,'P'+'rofileHeroes',' ');AG=AG.substring(61,AG.length);if(AG.indexOf(' jeff and stuff's Details Status: Single Here for: Networking Orientation: Straight Hometown: san luis obispo, ca Body type: 6' 1" Ethnicity: White / Caucasian Zodiac Sign: Virgo jeff and stuff's Networking Publishing - Art - Other jeff and stuff's Companies jeff claassen gallery - 968 higuera number 209, san luis obispo, ca US www.jeffclaassen.com opened gallery in nov 2004 and still going strong www.sxtyfoursquares.com slo, ca US first floor janitor www.sxtyfoursquares.com forever jeff and stuff is in your extended network jeff and stuff's Latest Blog Entry [ Subscribe to this Blog ] 12-29-05 - new shirts available ( view more ) 12-28-05 - new commission painting ( view more ) 12-6-05 - "hi, i'm cute" screenprint edition ( view more ) 12-2-05 - gonzo ( view more ) 11-30-05 - "sketchy friends" screenprint ( view more ) [ View All Blog Entries ] jeff and stuff's Blurbs About me: visit www.jeffclaassen.com subscribe to the "jeff claassen" elist to receive updates about upcoming shows, site updates/promotions, new products, and other blatant sales pitches! - art blog - view screenprint editions art gallery: www.jeffclaassen.com 968 Higuera Suite 209 San Luis Obispo CA (mailing address: po box 14157 - SLO - CA - 93406) arts collective: www.sxtyfoursquares.com sxty/four squares myspace profile Who I'd like to meet: members of the creative populace - art heads...be it creators or collectors. gallery directors that want to hang my things on their walls. magazine editors that want to put my things on their pages. bands that want to put my things on their album covers. and basically everybody in between. jeff and stuff's Calendar ( view all ) Jan 28 2006 4:00P art show at primary space @ Primary Space Gallery jeff and stuff's Friend Space jeff and stuff has 3428 friends. sxty/four squares Pacific Art Collective Gallery Nineteen Eighty Eight Dro The Clovis Blackwell Club floppy dawbis Juxtapoz Art & Culture Magazine View All ofjeff and stuff's Friends jeff and stuff's Friends Comments Displaying 50 of 1756 comments ( View/Edit All Comments ) wendyspolaroids 1/11/2006 10:19:00 AM <<Panic in Polkadots>> 1/10/2006 10:20:00 PM thank you for supporting creativity! ^panic^ ♥Work In Progress 1/10/2006 2:27:00 PM I was at Salon Lux last night and saw the new pieces of your art work you were putting up..VERY COOL!!!! You have an amazing style and it intrigues me. Shell A.B. Designs 1/10/2006 9:47:00 AM ABD NewArtJunk sun~kissed 1/10/2006 6:33:00 AM Thank you! Your oh too kind! Have a phenominal day! GDPC MONEY 1/10/2006 2:42:00 AM Thanks Jeff and Stuff for the add. Carolyn Mary Kleefeld 1/9/2006 11:10:00 PM SOPLAS !!! 1/9/2006 6:50:00 PM COMING TO A CITY NEAR YOU, COLLABO! U*G*L*Y 1/9/2006 6:02:00 PM Artwork by Lost Goat 1/9/2006 5:22:00 PM Chainsaw Doll Killer 1/9/2006 7:39:00 AM Thanks for the add! I love your work! Buddha 1/8/2006 9:44:00 PM This is my newest painting…. Its called The Sky is Falling Click my art to check out my online store and see my new designs on posters, clothes and more!. Stay Blazed! b HILo 1/7/2006 3:45:00 PM YO what up, space friend??? happy new year!!!! yer stuff looks good. Vèrta Reyes 1/7/2006 2:27:00 PM Lennisse 1/7/2006 12:09:00 AM Jeff, I haven't seen you in over a week! I might just have to go visit you tomorrow...if you're lucky :) Paint it bLACK!!!! 1/6/2006 10:34:00 AM Girl Anachronism [Kisaragi] 1/5/2006 10:27:00 PM here's summa mah stuffsz: not my best er anything..................... Unleaded Clothing 1/5/2006 12:16:00 PM big things for you in the '06 friend UNLEADED CLOTHING SITE LOCATED AT: WWW.UNLEADEDWORLD.COM (Click on the Tape) Then...CLICK ON OUR MAIN IMAGE ON THE SITE TO ACCESS INFORMATION ON THE COOLEST THINGS IN CLOTHING, SNEAKERS, MUSIC, SPORTS, GADGETS, AND MORE and please tune back while our site is still Under Construction Unique Expressions by Jes 1/5/2006 9:21:00 AM Thanx 4 bringing originality to the world! Visit My eBay Store: Unique Expressions by Jes?refid=store Tuere ™ 1/4/2006 4:31:00 PM Just stoppin by to wish all my Friends a Happy New Year! T RRizzle 1/4/2006 1:47:00 AM aNu 1/3/2006 8:17:00 PM :: hope you're doing GREAT! :: here's my latest piece .. loves to you :: cLiCK me! :: susie 1/3/2006 2:13:00 PM Cool stuff!!!! Happy New Year! k e l l y ! 1/3/2006 12:07:00 PM Happy New Years, homie... [!] Malachai Clothing 1/3/2006 11:54:00 AM Hey, We at Malachai Clothing wanted to thank you for your friendship over the past year, and we look forward to seeing you around in 2006. Please stop by, say hi, read the Malazine , and check out the great deals on our Men's and Women's pages. Thanks, Jeff! Keep up the hard work!! damien@wearmalachai.com blaike alexandra 1/1/2006 1:18:00 AM happy new year! Jade 12/31/2005 11:02:00 PM where the shit have you been? i'm downtown all the time because of work and your never here. bastard. is my sweater ready? Cynthia 12/31/2005 6:53:00 PM Danary 12/31/2005 1:51:00 PM angela 12/31/2005 12:48:00 PM In the coming year, DO SOMETHING, SAY ANYTHING, LOVE YOURSELF. Just don't let another year pass you by!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Joeni-Reppin' NYC 12/31/2005 12:13:00 PM just wanna say BAPTMAN 12/31/2005 7:59:00 AM Eat My Short 12/31/2005 1:33:00 AM jeff!!!!!!!!! have a kickass 06!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! melissa k 12/31/2005 12:44:00 AM well i havent seen you in about a year. how have you been bdollproject 12/30/2005 8:44:00 PM Happy New Year! le rendez-vous 12/30/2005 7:48:00 PM :) alas... she has a home. thanks jeff. i love her. -bridget Haik 12/30/2005 3:34:00 PM Happy New Year!!! Haiko Eat My Short 12/30/2005 9:31:00 AM shadiah 12/30/2005 12:03:00 AM thanx for everything! have a happy new year's! : ) Abigail 12/29/2005 3:31:00 PM PILLCULT 12/29/2005 11:48:00 AM Hey Jeff I want Mora him! 12/28/2005 8:33:00 PM Your new commission looks great! Let me know if you'll be making screenprints of it because I'd love to invest in one. :] C ATV 12/28/2005 8:28:00 PM THE PLAYPEN 12/28/2005 6:33:00 PM julie 12/27/2005 9:32:00 PM Abandoned Clothing 12/27/2005 1:12:00 PM We finally got our brand new products in and they are off the hook! Check them out! no credit card? no problem! Just use "pay by cash" at check out and your set to go! Click here or click one of the pictures! I’m all lost in the supermarket 12/27/2005 12:11:00 PM jeff!!!!!!!!!! you gave me my 900th comment! I’m all lost in the supermarket 12/27/2005 11:28:00 AM you'd be such a cool uncle. did you like... get them face paints and draw all over their faces? they could be you're walking artwork haha. Toofy Film Fest 2006 12/27/2005 10:25:00 AM Thanks for supporting the Toofy Film Fest 2006 chuckwagon 12/26/2005 9:28:00 PM Add Comment About | FAQ | Terms | Privacy | " target="_blank" Safety Tips | Contact Myspace | Promote! | Advertise | MySpace Shop ©2003 MySpace.com. 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