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Pimp Junta My Thoughts on Feet January 4th, 2006 by John Brownlee I’ve often heard girls say that they judge men by their shoes. That women pay so much attention to the feet of a man has never made much sense to me. This is like judging a man by his armpit. Actually, it’s worse – I’ve seen the attractive armpit or two in my time. But what are feet if not mottled, misshapen clumps of flesh crammed into reeking coffins of leather? Feet are what your hands would look like if all the bones in them were repeatedly broken every six weeks with a brick. Disgusting. Such is my loathing of the foot that there’s only two types of girls I would never date. One: fatties. Two: those who paint their toenails. Girls - painting your toenails is like applying lipstick to your anus. Don’t do it. The Chinese, with their foot binding, had the right idea – minimize these revolting appendages to offset evolution’s blind, ignorant fondness for them. Because of my revulsion, I try to pay as little attention to my feet as possible and so, over the years, I have developed a rather hardy set myself. Whether it was walking barefoot through a foot of snow to my neighbor’s house as a youth, or shrugging off the spray of gore resulting from stepping on a piece of jagged ceramic – the end result is a steady regime of consistent abuse has resulted in their near nigh-invulnerability. To me, shoes are a social nicety which I resent. Coming home in the evening, my greatest joy is to kick off the sweaty foot coffins and give the boys some air. Like my future wife, I am happiest both barefoot and in my kitchen. The other day, I was walking home in what was once a chic pair of black leather loafers when I passed a shoe cobbler. This caused me to ruminate and look down at the poor puppies below my ankles. The left shoe had a large gash in the side. In the hollowed heels of both, numerous trapped pebbles and tiny glass shards rattled. The soles, partially disconnected from the shoe proper, made exasperating farting-like noises when I walked. Unlike underpants, I tend to wear shoes until decomposition. But I decided to go in and see if all these pedimentary traumas could be repaired anyway. The cobbler assured me that they could be if only I were to leave my shoes with him. So I made what I thought was a common-sense decision: I took off my shoes, handed them to him, and began walking the five minutes back to my house in my socks. Within fifty yards, I’d already been stopped by the Gardai. “Ey! Wud’s oll dis den?” the copper ejaculated, pointing down with his walkie talkie at my shoeless feet. I scowled up at him defiantly. Recently, I’ve felt the Dublin police have been getting too big for their britches. I blame the uniform change: previously, every member of the Dublin Gardai wore a uniform comprised of khaki and puke green, overlaid with a fluorescent traffic vest. True, it was attire more appropriate for a parking garage attendant than a metropolitan enforcer of law and order, but the police at least walked around looking suitably abashed by the trouble they were causing you , the criminal. That’s the way it should be. Now, though, they have imported all their police uniforms straight from Paris and walk around with a pompous and lugubrious impugnity. This has caused the members of the seedy Dublin underworld to christen them “Potato-humping frog bacon”. “What, it’s illegal to walk around without shoes in this ridiculous Mickey Mouse country?” I exclaimed. He scowled and started jabbing me with his thumb. “Led’s see yer passport.” I didn’t have my passport on me, so I was dragged away to Gardai headquarters, yelping Rodney king quotes and the phrase “Five-Oh, yote!” over my shoulder the entire journey. These utterings failed to find cultural resonance. Anyway, it’s a long story, but the slippery slope, one thing led to another, and several savage beatings in the Rathmines Gardai station’s basement later, it turns out that, as an Irish citizen, you can come within a hair’s breadth of being deported for not wearing shoes over here. So next time The Economist lists Ireland as “the best country in the world to live in”, I hope you all remember this little anecdote. Posted in Personal | 4 Comments » -- Guest-Blogging at the Consumerist January 3rd, 2006 by John Brownlee In case any of my readers (mostly comprised of my relatives, some Boston friends, three ex-girlfriends, a couple of anonymous AOL IM acquaintances who believe my profile-stated interest in pipe-smoking to be underworld slang for homoerotic fellatio, and Dr. Derek Smart, PhD) are interested in paparazzing my Internet fame: I’m (paid!) guest-blogging over at The Consumerist this week. I haven’t really read it yet, but it’s some sort of anti-corporate, pro-consumer website from the Gawker guys, who also do the (much nicer looking) blogs Gizmodo , Lifehacker , Fleshbot and others. My stint posting snarky news criticizing major corporations will be especially amusing to those close friends who have ever listened to me drunkenly defend major corporate hegemonies. You can tell my posts because they are the ones overusing adverbs. As an added note, my first day blogging over there netted me my first quote ever in the New York Times . The only problem? They attributed it to the totally wrong guy. The italicized part is what John Brownlee actually wrote : Mr. Johnson, who previously edited Gizmodo, another Gawker site, also highlights consumer-oriented news nuggets, funny pictures and shopping tips - all with the same snarky tone that characterizes Gawker properties like Wonkette and Defamer. This week, he posted an impassioned plea for more imaginative advertising because “the loud, braying ubiquity of advertising pretty much invalidates it without any effort on my part.” He added, “I don’t notice advertising anymore, unless it is advertising that somehow makes my life a little more surreal, or stupid, or silly, or magical.” So update your future editions of “Notable Quotables” accordingly, guys. Posted in Personal , Internet | No Comments » -- Metro Must Die! January 3rd, 2006 by John Brownlee Years back, I had a feud with the Boston Metro, a free daily newspaper that alternately constipated then squirted out of bowels of the Boston subway system. I hated this paper, not just for its abominable journalistic qualities, but also because it transformed what had once been a pleasant morning commute into an Indian gauntlet. Daily, I was battered by the greasy, rolled up rags clenched in the flailing fists of the thousands of oddly shuffling pimps, hobos and hustlers that formed the Metro’s sleazy newsie constabulary. Within a month of the Metro’s inception, there wasn’t a single bus station restroom not using the Metro for toilet paper; not a single gutter unstuffed with the Metro’s soggy literary discharge. Every bum, every brown-toothed transient, every deinstitutionalized lunatic soon found employment in the Metro armada harassing innocent commuters with the circumcised foreskin of journalism proper. I once paid one of these bums fifty dollars never to try to hand me a Metro again. He took my money, then gave me two the next day. If you were riding the Orange Line on December 2nd, 2001 and wondered what the wet lurch you felt between the State Street and Downtown Crossing stops was… mystery solved! The violence I wanted to inflict upon the Metro soon took a literary turn. I wish I had a copy of the letter I once wrote to the Boston Metro, but it wasn’t safe to keep lying around. If a single atom of brain whizzes around the inside of your skull, reading this letter would cause that atom to split, like a cerebral Hiroshima. The only place safely expose its radiation was in the ntellectual siberia of a Metro staff writer’s mind. But could even the leaden brainpan of a Metro staff writer contain the explosion? I copied every email address I could find off the Metro’s website, then I took my laptop to a cafe across from their headquarters. From the vantage of a window seat, I pressed “Send”. Imagine putting a thousand water balloons filled with cow’s blood in the microwave, then turning it on. That was what I thought was going to happen. I expected to hear a series of dull pops from across the street, quickly followed by a tidal wave of blood washing down the oscillating waterfalls of the front steps anemone-like brains, squidy eyeballs and small barques made of skull shrapnel. Needless to say, that didn’t happen. Luckily for them, the lack of that single atom which would have allowed my wit to start the necessary nuclear chain reaction was missing from the vacuum of their minds. Employees of the Metro: mentally retarded Supermen, hovering far above the earth by dint of their helium-filled heads, and when they drool, it rains. It wasn’t a total loss though. The letter soon became immortalized amongst my friends and acquaintances, all of whom hated the Boston Metro as much as me and amongst whom I privately railed for years about the cheap no-brow rag. In response to their imploring, I distributed the letter to a select few, but only every fourth word. Even so, these friends began reporting nose bleeds, detached retinas or the sudden ability to smell colors. One friend who accidentally pieced the entire letter together by joining his copy with those of three others suddenly found himself in a Cthulhu-like dimension where strange chthonic fish made of ectoplasm tormented him for eternity. It seems to me that the Infinite Monkey Typewriter project should be concerned less with reproducing the works of Shakespeare and worry more about accidentally reproducing a certain letter from Mr. John Brownlee to the Boston Metro, dated April, 2002. Because here’s what’s going to happen to the monkey who accidentally manages to type it up, in rapid succession following the first millisecond of the letter’s recreation. First, the monkey will turn sentient; second, it will be able to speak English; third, it will scream “Oh my god!” as it starts pulling ropes of its own intestines out of its ears. Jane Goodall meets Lucio Fulci, man. But that’s incidental to my main point. Eventually, I realized my intellectual duel to the death with the Boston Metro wasn’t going anywhere. Sure, the wit of my letter was pretty powerful. It had even killed a few people. But not the people it intended. It was like trying to shoot a ghost with a bazooka. Whoosh, and then the Catholic orphanage behind the ghost suddenly explodes. Only innocents were being hurt. So I did the only thing I could do to stop the conflict - I fled the country and moved to Ireland. It’s been a good four years. But today, as I was walking into town, a filthy hobo in a crisp blue blazer approached me, hacking madly. I tried to avoid him, as I imagined that he would soon begin blowing a large black bubble from his mouth, which would actually turn out to be one of his lungs. But he veered in my direction. The glaucoma of one of his eyes began shivering like the undercooked white of a fried egg; the other rolled crazily. I tend to get a little panicky when I’m trying to avoid someone fast approaching me. In my confusion, I rigidly pressed my arms up against my ribs and began effetely fluttering my hands next to my hips. I also squealed and spun in a circle a bit. This didn’t work: next thing I knew, the hideous transient was upon me and (using a mottled paw with a tell-tale brown streak across the blade of the palm) had pressed something gray and soggy between my hands, like a sheath of rotting flesh. I knew what it was before I even looked down. “Dublin Metro, read oll abood ib…” he croaked, then walked off, hysterically screaming his laughter into the sunrise he rigidly fixed with his one dead eye. Some brief highlights of today’s issue of the Dublin Metro: * * * 22 stone (that’s 308 pounds, or 140 kilograms) 12 year old congratulated by the Metro for dropping 42 pounds. The Metro is relieved he will not have to staple his stomach. * * * A serious page long interview between the Metro and a professional astrologer. Here are some tasty quotes: “Lots of big companies use financial astrologers.” “I got my qualification [as an astrologer] from the Faculty of Astrological Studies. I did a basic certificate, then a two-year diploma.” When asked how astrology works: “… it’s a mystery.” On quantum physics: “Quantum physics is all about things making patterns - fractals you can draw.” Her explanation concerning incorrect predictions: “When I get it wrong - and this is true of every astrologer - it’s often due to people’s interpretation.” In other words, she’s not wrong, you are. * * * An ad starting with the question “Got drunk again?” * * * That was as far as I got before I thought that last one was less a question and more good advice. Posted in Personal | 1 Comment » -- Radio Psyence Belated Christmas January 2nd, 2006 by John Brownlee If Nat King Cole were still alive, I like to think many of us would pull apart his Christmas-crooning lips and perform King Kong’s infamous jaw-snapping fatality on him. But he’s a raisin of a crooner in the grave now, and frankly can not be blamed for being so timeless that he has become a nauseating holiday cliche. Anyway, now that we are about as far away from a reflux of Christmas music as one can chronologically be… hey, Radio Psyence phoned in a Christmas show two weeks ago! Posted in Music , Personal , Internet | No Comments » -- « Previous Entries Search Pimp Junta Author A little something about you, the author. Nothing lengthy, just an overview. -- Archives January 2006 December 2005 November 2005 October 2005 September 2005 August 2005 July 2005 June 2005 May 2005 April 2005 March 2005 February 2005 Categories Books (11) Double Posts (3) Films (17) Flotsam (31) Games (10) General (12) Internet (25) Music (13) Personal (47) Photos (5) Login Valid XHTML XFN WordPress -- Recent Updates My Thoughts on Feet Guest-Blogging at the Consumerist Metro Must Die! Radio Psyence Belated Christmas Kong!.. sucks Surprising Appearances in American Literature Being A Paid Escort for Christmas: Part Five Okay. I’m back. Disestablishmentarianist Thought Of The Day Breastless Pelvises RSS Entries Comments Enter your e-mail address to receive notifications when there are new posts
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Fart On Fire Nasty Video / MySpace Video Codes Home | Memberspace | Submit Content | Contact | Privacy Policy Your source for funny videos , funny pictures and more updated daily. Be sure to bookmark us by clicking here. NEW!! We now provide you the video, game and picture codes to place any of our content on your MySpace or other blog! Search BoFunk Username Password ( Register | Lost Password ) Navigation Home Pictures Flash Games Soundboards Register Submit Content Memberspace Contact Categories Awesome Chicks Crazy Cute Fights Funny Interactive Nasty Other Painful Ridiculous Signs Stupid Ideas WTH Sponsor Fart On Fire Next Click here to add this video to your MySpace! IM to a Friend | Send to a Friend | Add to Favorites | Save to Computer | Comments We added another video server to hopefully speed up the videos, if you have any trouble, please contact us by clicking here and let us know and please include the link to the video. -- Random Videos Please link to: More related videos you may like Popping a Monster Blind Sided Hit Two Mouths Fart On Fire Chick eats bugs Wheres your food been Elephant Poo Fat Lady Working Out Filthy Toilet Dunk Womanly smell MySpace / Xanga / Blog Video Code Options Video Embed Codes Add Directly to MySpace Thats right!! You can now insert the video directly into your MySpace profile without having to copy the code! Open another web browser (leaving this window open) and login to your MySpace account. Then simply select where you want the video to go from the dropdown below and click "Add to MySpace" ! -SELECT FROM BELOW- Music General Movies Television Books Heroes or Copy and paste the code where you want it (This works on MySpace, Xanga, etc.) Video and Code Provided by BoFunk.com Copy to clipboard Video Link Codes MySpace Codes to Link to the Video With Thumbnail Image (example) Watch Video Here Fart On Fire Copy to clipboard MySpace Codes to Link to the Video (Text only) Watch Video: Fart On Fire Copy to clipboard Read and Post Comments on this Video Sinky Thats gotta be fake!Sinky 03.12.05 Beki yea i thinkl that is fake, there is no way crap can come out of underware that fast.!!!!!!!! 03.13.05 wordlife26 that is sooooooooo gay damn fake 03.13.05 googoogaagaa dumb ass 03.14.05 christina dostilio THAT's %$#@*! NASTY----FAKE or NOT! BLAGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 03.27.05 sss wordlife your gay! 05.29.05 Please login to post a comment or register here Buddies MySpace Picture Codes Funny Stuff MySpace Image Codes Time Killer Kontraband WTF People Top Humor Sites Insane Videos Link Partners Free Downloads Need For Fun Funny Video Clips Clip Dump Ringtone Dump Funny Videos Unoriginal Funny Videos Hans-Wurst Entertainment Crazy Babysitter Priceless Funny Pictures Humor Guide!! Funny Videos Crazy Fun madsalmon.net Humor4You Funny Web Zone! Hawt Priceless Funny Videos Twisted Gaia Flush The Web Doshur Raw Meat Funnymovies.net First-Ward Play Music AchterIn I am Bored mpam.gr Free Ringtones More Sites Add Your Site All Rights Reserved - Design BoFunk 2004 - Images & content their respective owners Page took 0.605325 seconds to load.
MYSPACE CODES RINGTONES AIM
Myspace Codes - Myspace Themes Next Event: January 13 Prescott, Arizona, Details soon. Salazar Brothers on sale now Get it online right here . - or at the iTunes Music Store Also at: Zia Records, Stinkweeds , and Hooligans. T-Shirts now on sale online Get them now in the new RC Online Store. Enter your email address for updates NEWS FORUM STORE MUSIC VIDEO PHOTOS LYRICS PRESS REVIEWS BAND BIO CONTACT LINKS UPCOMING EVENTS January 13th Freakers Ball Prescott, Arizona Details TBA January 27th The Sets Tempe, Arizona Details TBA February 11th Simply Noodles Mesa, Arizona Details TBA STREET TEAM R.C. is looking for dedicated fans to help get the word out, in exchange for special access to things only available to RC street team members. Want to join? CLICK HERE IN THE NEWS July 2005 AZHardCoreMetal.com review of Salazar Brothers Read it >> June 2005 Salazar Brothers reviewed in the Phoenix New Times Read it >> June 2005 Rising Conviction interviewed by S.L.A.M. Magazine Read it >> October 2004 AZHardCoreMetal interview Read it >> R.C. ON MYSPACE: Add us to your friend list: myspace.com/risingconviction SALAZAR BROTHERS HOUSE OF THE RISING SUN A WAR OF GHOSTS PROMOTION MYSPACE CODES RINGTONES AIM ICONS DESKTOPS FLIER ARCHIVE PODCASTS Reaching for Lucidity Rising Conviction Special > Episode featuring RC 12> Episode featuring RC 11> Episode featuring RC 10> Episode featuring RC 9> Episode featuring RC 8> Episode featuring RC 7> Episode featuring RC 6> Episode featuring RC 5> Episode featuring RC 4> Episode featuring RC 3> Episode featuring RC 2> Episode featuring RC 1> Podcast Website>> Closet Geek Show Episode featuring RC> Podcast Website> Videogamenews Episode featuring RC> Podcast Website> DreamStation.cc Episode featuring RC> Podcast Website> BandTrax Episode featuring RC> Podcast Website> Unsigned Podcast Episode featuring RC> Podcast Website> Aardvarks Nest Episode featuring RC 2> Episode featuring RC 1> Podcast Website> R.C. ON INTERNET RADIO LIMELIGHT RADIO ZONARADIO HARDRADIO.COM MONSOONRADIO RISING CONVICTION ON: PODSAFE NETWORK iSOUND.COM NUMBERONE MUSIC MIXPOSURE PUREVOLUME MYSPACE MUSIC U.M.N. GARAGEBAND.COM SOUNDCLICK.COM HXCMP3 RATESUMMUSIC.COM CLEARCHANNEL NETWORK RISING CONVICTION MYSPACE CODES AND THEMES Codes for your myspace page, and myspace themes. If there is anything you want to have us make, support us and ask for it and it will be done... Myspace Codes Post this in a: Comment / Bulletin / Profile: Salazar Brothers Online Store This is just a link to the place where people can listen to samples of and buy our album, Salazar Brothers online. Right click and 'save as' to download these files. http://www.risingconviction.com myspace code | myspace Flash Banner This is a flash banner that will work in most html places and ANY myspace text area. Right click and 'save as' to download these files. RC Media 468x60 myspace code | myspace new Myspace Backgrounds Myspace Backgrounds and codes. Copy and paste this code into your profile somewhere, and it should work. Right click and 'save as' to download these files. Background 1 myspace code | preview | myspace Background 2 myspace code | preview | myspace Background 3 myspace code | preview | myspace Background 4 myspace code | preview | myspace Background 5 myspace code | preview | myspace Background 6 myspace code | preview | myspace Background 7 myspace code | preview | myspace Background/Theme 8 myspace code | preview | myspace Background/Theme 9 myspace code | preview | myspace Email List Generation Link This code works in HTML or on MySpace. Right click and 'save as' to download code files if they do not open in a new window as code.. MailingListPop view | link code | myspace Email List Form Code This code can be use in either HTML or on MySpace to put an email signup form field right on there. It works very well in myspace bulletins and emails. Right click and 'save as' to download code files if they do not open in a new window as code.. Mailing List Form Code form code | myspace Current Flier The location of the flier never changes, so you only have to put this link in a place once and it will always update to the next show. This code works in HTML or on MySpace. Right click and 'save as' to download code files if they do not open in a new window as code. Current Flier view | embed code | myspace Audio Send these to everyone, or link them up anywhere you can think of. These are free, so give them to everyone. Right click and 'save as' to download these files. Shiver link code | myspace codes | myspace Shudder link code | myspace codes | myspace Skin link code | myspace codes | myspace Want updates on new myspace codes? You should Check this out: Click here, since you obviously have the time "...one of the best albums to come out this year." - Reaching for Lucidity Podcast "With its new disc Salazar Brothers ... Rising Conviction takes astep toward being in Ozzfest someday." - Phoenix New Times " Salazar Brothers blends elements of rock, hardcore and metal together to make smooth and dynamic music that will appeal to more than just one genre of music." - azhardcoremetal.com Download the full album for $9.99 right here Don't have iTunes? It's free 1. Shiver album only $.99 Download 2. Shudder Lo-fi | Lyrics $.99 Download 3. Odd Prime Lo-fi | Lyrics $.99 Download 4. Congratulations album only $.99 Download 5. Badger Lo-fi | Lyrics $.99 Download 6. Skepticit Lo-fi | Lyrics $.99 Download 7. Incriminating Downfall Lo-fi | Lyrics $.99 Download 8. Middle of the End Lo-fi | Lyrics $.99 Download 9. Plastic Traffic album only $.99 Download 10. Burden Lo-fi | Lyrics $.99 Download 11. Suffocate Lo-fi | Lyrics $.99 Download 12. Anne Lo-fi | Lyrics $.99 Download 13. Skin Lo-fi | Lyrics $.99 Download 14. House of the Rising Sun Lo-fi | Lyrics $.99 Download 15. The Trinity Lo-fi | Lyrics $.99 Download 16. Ultrasharpe Backstab Lo-fi | Lyrics $.99 Download 17. A War of Ghosts Lo-fi $.99 Download Get Salazar Brothers online: Buy the CD Online: Amazon.com CDBaby.com Towerrecords.com Bandtrax.net Digital Download & Subscription Sites: iTunes Music Store Yahoo Music MusicIsHere.com MusicNet@aol Virgin Digital FYI Download Zone Cdigix Ctrax RCN Music Ringtones (for AT&T, Cingular, Sprint & T-Mobile only) Shudder - $.99 Badger - $.99 Skin - $.99 Salazar Brothers in stores: Arizona Zia Record Exchange Find a location near you Hoodlums Music Arizona State Univ. Tempe, AZ 85287 Stinkweeds Music 1250 E. Apache #109 Tempe AZ 85281 Idaho CDWorld 2820 S. 2500 E. Idaho Falls, Idaho 83404 Phone 208-522-7826 Questions?
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Confessions of a Restaurant Whore: My One True Love (Delfina -- San Francisco, CA and Da Delfina -- Artimino, Italy) BlogThis! CONFESSIONS OF A RESTAURANT WHORE A San Francisco Girl's Down and Dirty Adventures in the Culinary Playground Confessions of a Restaurant Whore A San Francisco Girl's Down and Dirty Adventures in the Culinary Playground -- Show a whore some lovin'. Email Me Where can I eat, bitch? Restaurant Whore's Dining Guide What I Said Before Zu(ni) Story (Zuni Cafe -- San Francisco, CA) Good Night Moon (Luna Park and The Last Supper Club -- San Francisco, CA) Highway to Heaven (A16 -- San Francisco, CA) The Way We Were I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream for Ice Cream (Mitchell's Ice Cream -- San Francisco, CA) Amber-ific (Amber India -- Mountain View, CA) Restaurant Behavior 101 Dim YUM (Ton Kiang -- San Francisco, CA) Just for ME (Mabel's Just For You Cafe -- San Francisco, CA) Slow and Steady (Slow Club -- San Francisco, CA) Food Bloggers I Like Becks and Posh Burrito Eater Chocolate and Zucchini Epicurean Debauchery Food Blog S'cool Food Musings Gastronomie KQED Food Blog San Francisco Gourmet Spicetart Sweetnicks The Food Whore You Gonna Eat That? This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution- NonCommercial-NoDerivs 2.5 License . -- Tuesday, December 07, 2004 My One True Love (Delfina -- San Francisco, CA and Da Delfina -- Artimino, Italy) Ribollita. The food of the Gods. OK, not really. It's actually peasant food. But it is DAMN good. Ribollita is Tuscan bread soup filled with cannelini beans, cavelo nero (a kale-like green), bread and yummy yum yums (that's a technical term). Then, it's stuck in a fridge to get all congeal-y and then it's FRIED. Fried soup. It's like a little blanket for your insides. It rocks. The first place Jon and I ever had ribollita was at Delfina . Delfina opened about 3 months after we, ourselves, moved to San Francisco. We made the pilgrimage from our shithole apartment about a week after they opened. As it was only 3 and a half blocks away, it wasn't a huge commitment. Or so we thought. From the moment we stepped in, we were in love. At the time, it was about a third the size it is now (if that). They described ribollita for us, and we figured eh, what the hell, how bad can it be? Well, I sure as hell may be a restaurant whore, but at that moment, I was ready to kiss my whorin' days goodbye and settle down. I love Delfina so much that it gets me all choked up just thinking about it. This is going to be a gushy post, so if that's going to wig you out, either suck it up or stop reading. Because I loooooooove them. It's taken me a long time to get to this post because I knew it would be a biggie. So settle in and get ready...here goes: The food. Ribollita yes. Simple-as-pie-but-delicious-as-hell spaghetti with plum tomatoes. For that matter, any pasta at all. The soups. Oh, dear God, the incredible soups (chickpea, Jerusalem artichoke, pappa al pomodoro, etc.). They just blow your mind. Grilled calamari and white bean salad where the beans are as good as those we had at French Laundry. The insalata del campo with everything good in the world in it. The panna cotta, the profiteroles, the crostatas....Oh, fuck it. It's all amazing. It's everything you hope, wish and dream for in your deepest fantasies. And special occasions bring special food, like the Bucatini with lobster and rice pudding with truffles that we eat each New Year's Eve. Craig and Annie Stoll. The owners. These people are the best people you could know. I have never, ever seen people so devoted to their business, their staff, their customers. They are so loyal. They will bend over backwards for their regulars. They take such good care of us, it makes me feel guilty. Here's the thing about Craig and Annie. They hire staff as devoted to their customers as they, themselves are. The staff are so amazing at their jobs, and so kind and wonderful (gush, gush, gush). I love them. I mean that. I LOVE THEM. And they treat us like friends instead of paychecks when we come in. LOVE THEM. We have been to Delfina during our highest ups and our lowest downs. Some examples: Losing a job, getting a new one, grieving a death, entertaining guests, celebrating birthdays, buying a home, moving, losing a friend, reconnecting with each other after hectic weeks apart, the aforementioned New Year's celebrations. And then there are the big ones. Such as September 11, 2001 when our families were on the east coast and we were lost. We wandered into Delfina and they told us they didn't know what to do but stay open and we told them that we didn't know what to do but turn off the TV and start walking in their direction. And the time when we packed up that same shithole apartment, to move to our beautiful new home. It was a happy thing that we were moving, but six years of our lives had been spent in that apartment during which time we had gone from dating to married, purchased a cat (hooray for Charlie!), gained and lost friends. It was a huge chunk of our lives. So when we shut the door for the last time, we felt strangely sad. And we walked straight to Delfina. After all, we'd now be 7 blocks away instead of 3 and a half. And they took care of us, as always. It's nights like those that made us come up with the code word "home" when referring to Delfina. As in "Where would you like to go for your birthday?" "Home." It is where we go when we want and/or need to share something important in our lives. Delfina is the restaurant we'd choose if we had to eat at only one place for the rest of our lives. So it is only fitting that when we were in Italy last September, we made a pilgrimage to Da Delfina in Tuscany, where Craig had studied. We arrived in Florence with Jon's super wonderful but disorganized family (5 of us total) and wandered the streets with a shitload of luggage trying to find our hotel. Yes, Florence has cabs. But why take one when you can avoid making a decision and blindly stumble around like jackasses? Anyway, we found our hotel, threw our stuff in the door and made our way back out to the train station (We did this alone, we would be meeting Jon's family in Siena in the evening. Delfina is so personal to us that we felt we needed to go alone). We took a train to the town of Signa (one stop away, but there are only a few trains a day that go there). Once in Signa, we thought we'd take a cab to Artimino. Nice try. No cabs at the station. So we go into a ghetto hotel and ask them to call us one. We feel bad, so Jon goes to the bar and orders a shot of tequila for their troubles. Nice. So our "cab" arrives. It's a minivan with an older dude inside. As we wind through the hills, he describes everything we're seeing. In Italian. But it's so beautiful, and he's so good natured, that we don't care. And then we get there. There she is in all her glory. Da Delfina. And when I say that, I mean the restaurant and Delfina herself, sitting in the foyer. Delfina is in her 90's and she is beautiful. Carlo, the owner, looks at the young Americans like "What the hell are you here for?" But he seats us anyway. At a table overlooking the Tuscan countryside. We spent the whole meal with tears streaming down our faces. We felt like we had returned to the mothership. We order everything. I order the Tuscan bread soup (ribollita, before it becomes ribollita, if you follow...Carlo was very concerned that I knew this). And in everything we ate, we saw our own Delfina's roots. Jon's guinea hen was a clear ancestor of Craig's chicken, the chicken liver crostini was almost identical, etc. We each had an appetizer, a primi, a secondi. Plus wine. A lot of wine. By the time we got to secondi, I thought I was going to hurl. It was so amazing but it was also a shitload of food. When I let the last third of my salt cod go, Carlo asked me about four thousand times if it was OK. Damn, people, I just can't eat that much food! Nevertheless, they talked us into ordering dessert. Very Tuscan, very good, but again, on the verge of hurling. In between, we received vin santo and some Sangiovese grapes grown by the older Americans at the table behind us. Well it turns out the guy growing the grapes was a trustee at the college Jon and I went to. And he and his wife ended up inviting us to their Tuscan villa. But alas, we needed to meet Jon's family and only had 2 short days left in Italy. Damn. But how fucking cool is that? By the time we left, Carlo was hugging us and we were giving him some of the fake tattoos from the SF Delfina. And when our nice man in the minivan came to take us back to the train station, we were grateful for the meal of a lifetime (at only $110 euro, no less). When there are places in the world like Delfina and Da Delfina, why settle for anything less, ever? xoxo Joy "To eat is a necessity, but to eat intelligently is an art." --La Rochefoucauld posted by Joy @ 7:44 AM 2 Comments: Gayle And Don said... This is the most passionate review I have ever read in my life. It almost brought me to tears. Thank god I stumbled across your blog. My girlfriend and I are heading for San Fran for a quickie getaway and I was looking for a place to take her. We are staying at the Westin by chance and I found your review of Michael Mina's very amusing. I love people who are not afraid to speak the truth. And, as some of your readers have shown, some people just can't handle the truth. Thanks again for your candid reviews, and I hope we have a chance to get to Delfina this weekend. Who knows, maybe we will see you there. Don 7/29/2005 7:11 PM art said... Loved your story about Da Delfina. Delfina SF was also the favorite restaurant of my wife and I when we lived there. So much that we pretty much organized our whole Florence trip around Da Delfina (I'm sure we had the same van driver). I am a chef in Chicago and I think back to the two years that I spent in San Francisco having the opportunity to work at Delfina. I had an interview with Craig Stoll and ended up working somewhere else. I kick myself all the time! I loved the part of your story where you said Carlo looked at you like "what the hell are you doing here?" We made the mistake of showing up a little bit early and I thought he was going to whale on my ass! So we killed time by having a drink in the little cantina where three chain smoking locals coughed and watched soap operas full blast on the t.v. Ah well, your story brought back great memories and I think your website is great too. 7/30/2005 8:24 PM Post a Comment
Bling MySpace
www.myspace.com/hannahmint MySpace.com | Home The Web MySpace Help | SignUp Home | Browse | Search | Invite | Rank | Mail | Blog | Favorites | Forum | Groups | Events | Games | Music | Classifieds Hannah "h a n n a h Last Login: 01/05/2006 View more pics Contacting Hannah MySpace URL: http://www.myspace.com/hannahmint Hannah's Interests General Oh dear. LOTS of things interest me. I'll try to put some of them here. Ahem. I love anything retro - music, movies, tv shows, toys, etc. I collect vintage toys. I love old movies, 70's-80's and also black and white. I think Audrey Hepburn is the greatest. My Little Pony, Strawberry Shortcake, Care Bears, Popples, Lady Lovelylocks, Peppermint Rose...I love all of them and more :D I love rainy days, quality chocolate (such as Godiva), cute things, colorful clothing, stuffed animals, desserts, cream soda, and lovely dreams. Random things that I love: Sailor Moon, lipgloss, cute purses, the color pink, polkadots, winter/fall time, pony bead bracelets, drawing, chatting on aim, shopping, cute socks, blueberry bagels, Bath and Bodyworks, lollipops, vintage things, leg and arm warmers, strawberries, Teen Vogue, etc. Music I love listening to retro music. Mostly all I listen to is 80's new wave. My favorite artists include (alphabetically, of course): ABBA ABC A-Ha B-52's, The B*Witched Backstreet Boys Bananarama Billy Idol Billy Joel Blondie Culture Club, The Cranberries, The David Bowie Donna Summer Duran Duran Earth, Wind, & Fire Fleetwood Mac Garbage Gwen Stefani Hall and Oates Human League Jamiroquai Janet Jackson Kajagoogoo Limahl Lionel Richie Madonna Michael Jackson N*SYNC Naked Eyes No Doubt Parliament Funkadelic Phil Collins Prince Queen S Club 7 Simple Minds Scritti Politti Spice Girls Stevie Wonder TLC U2 WHAM! As I always say, thank God for pop music . :D Movies I LOVE the movie Labyrinth . It has always been my favorite movie, ever since I was 9 years old. I've seen it probably over 30 times since. I love it very much :D Johnny Depp movies: Edward Scissorhands, Chocolat, Benny and Joon, Pirates of the Caribbean, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Sleepy Hollow, and Secret Window. Audrey Hepburn movies: Charade, Wait Until Dark, Sabrina, Love in the Afternoon, Roman Holiday, Funny Face. Some other movies I love: The Neverending Story, The Stepford Wives (OLD version, dammit), Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (old one), Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (new one), Hook, The Village, Purple Rain, and more. Television I don't really watch TV all that often. I prefer the computer. But when I do watch it, this is what I watch. Almost anything on VH1: I love the 70s/80s/90s, the Surreal Life, Best Week Ever, My Coolest Years, Retrosexual, Motormouth, Totally Obsessed, and more. Other than that...I love the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, Roseanne, the Cosby Show, Three's Company, Cheers, Happy Days, MadTV, How Do I Look?. Books I love to read. I go to the library all the time, and here are just a few that I particularly love. The Neverending Story by Michael Ende The Stepford Wives by Ira Levin Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov Chocolat by Joanne Harris White Oleander by Janet Fitch To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Roald Dahl Last Chance Saloon by Marian Keyes (all of her books, really) Heroes Umm...I guess my hero is my mom. I know that sounds completely lame, but seriously. She's done so much for me, and I love her very much. She's pretty much my best friend...sometimes. Hah. She's caring, loving, sensitive...I can talk to her if I need to, unlike other people my age. She watches Johnny Depp movies with me. She goes shopping with me. She compliments my cooking even if it came from a box. She even will listen to my music, mostly because she grew up with it. What can I say...I think I have the best mom in the world :D Oh yeah, and my other hero is Nick Rhodes from Duran Duran. Eheheh... Hannah's Details Status: Single Here for: Dating, Friends Orientation: Straight Body Type: 5' 5"/Average Ethnicity: White / Caucasian Religion: Christian - other Sign: Libra Smoke / Drink: No / No Children: Someday Education: In college Hannah's Schools Valencia Community College Osceola Kissimmee,Florida Student Status: Current Student Degree: In Progress Major: Graphics From 2005 to Present Hannah is in your extended network Hannah's Latest Blog Entry [ Subscribe to this Blog ] [ View All Blog Entries ] Hannah's Blurbs About me: ModMySpace Profile Customizer My name is Hannah . I'm 18 years old, I live in the USA, and I'm currently in my first year of college. Interests: I love anything that is retro, I'm mostly fixated on the 1980's . I love 80's music, tv shows, movies, and toys. The type of music I listen to is 80's new wave. I enjoy webdesigning and making websites, talking to my friends on aim, writing letters to pen pals,downloading music, etc etc. I own the domain Only-For-Love.Org ,and before that I owned Peppermint-Rose.Com . Likes: Romance novels, rainy days, pony bead bracelets, pen pals, Sanrio, everything pink, chocolate, pop music,lipgloss, gel pens, retro tv shows and movies, nice and down-to-earth people, Sailor Moon, cute purses, glittery things. Dislikes: Vulgarity, pervertedness, rascism, snobs, rude people, copiers, liars, unoriginality, spicy foods, lame commercials, extremely hot days, poor quality chocolate,the NEW Strawberry Shortcake, hypocrites, people who are ALWAYS happy, pens that never work, rap and country music. I'm a nerd, what can I say? ;) If you'd like to talk to me on aim, my screen name is a rainy avenue . I love meeting new people. Hannah's Friend Space Hannah has 47 friends. Maggie Dulce Odile Melissa Marz Mandolin? brandeee Natalie Marie View All of Hannah's Friends Hannah'sFriends Comments Displaying 26 of 26 comments ( View/Edit All Comments ) Melissa Jan 1, 2006 12:25 PM Happy New Year!!!! Melissa Dec 24, 2005 09:59 PM Imee Dec 11, 2005 03:28 AM hey girl, what's up? (= Melissa Dec 9, 2005 10:14 AM Thanks for adding me!! I can't beleive how much of the same things we both like!! Amanda Nov 23, 2005 04:46 PM Happy (early) Thanksgiving!! Phoenix Nov 9, 2005 05:05 PM I don't even know, but you're still one of my "Top 8" cause of how gorgeous you are! I know your secret. Oct 18, 2005 07:27 PM You rawk socks Hberry Oct 9, 2005 10:35 PM Hey Hannah! It is me, from Forbidden-Color.org *waves* How are you? Maggie Oct 5, 2005 01:43 AM yoooooo omg i totally won in class today. haha bye Ryne Sep 23, 2005 07:05 PM i like ur page! its all colorful! so whats up? how was ur summer? Maggie Sep 22, 2005 12:23 AM Wow, your MySpace is so bling bling. //BONNIE! :D Sep 17, 2005 09:47 PM hello darling, how are you? have a great week! YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL! :) Dulce Jun 6, 2005 01:59 AM Ooh, how did you make your MySpace so pretty? :O ♥ I will not forgive you for what you have done! May 26, 2005 12:32 AM Hey Hannah the Beautiful(had to add in the Beautiful) but anyhoo...thanks for the add you are the love of my life lindsey♥ Apr 27, 2005 12:33 PM hey there cutie. just thought i would drop you a comment since ur on my buddy list and everything. thanks for the add! -stay beautiful- ~grant~ Blair Feb 14, 2005 10:10 AM Hope you have a great one! Blair Jan 25, 2005 11:02 AM Think about this... You may not realize it, but it's 100% true. *PLEASE READ THIS WHOLE POST IT'S SO DAMN TRUE* 1. At least 2 people in this world love you so much they would die for you. 2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way. 3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you. 4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you. 5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep. 6. You mean the world to someone. 7. If not for you, someone may not be living. 8. You are special and unique. 9. Someone that you don't even know exists, loves you. 10. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it. 11. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look: you most likely turned your back on the world. 12. When you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you probably won't get it, but if you believe in yourself, probably, sooner or later, you will get it. 13. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks. 14. Always tell someone how you feel about them; you will feel much better when they know. 15. If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that they are great. Blair Jan 19, 2005 11:20 AM Hannah has the prettiest myspace profile in the world. All Jan 19, 2005 11:20 AM Hey girl! Your myspace is hot. I lurv the colors! :) Just wanted to say howdy. Blair Jan 19, 2005 11:20 AM Cho Chang Aug 19, 2004 11:02 AM Hannah pam Aug 19, 2004 10:57 AM hey hannah what up? Bryce Aug 8, 2004 09:48 AM it seemed to me like you needed more comments..so...here ya go....keep doin' what'cha doin' Add Comment About | FAQ | Terms | Privacy | Safety Tips | Contact Myspace | Promote! | Advertise ©2003-2006 MySpace.com All Rights Reserved.