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BBC - Birmingham - Features - Pimp my bike! Home TV Radio Talk Where I Live A-Z Index 11 January 2006 Accessibility help Text only BBC Homepage England » Birmingham News Sport Junior Football Travel Weather Entertainment Message Board Video Nation About Brum Your Community In Pictures Webcams Features Faith Gay Village Students Big Screen BBC Birmingham RaW Local TV BBC Local Radio Site Contents Contact Us Like this page? Send it to a friend! Features You are in: Birmingham > Features > Pimp my bike! Farrah and Ian with their lowrider Pimp my bike! By Sarah Loat Ditch your BMX or mountain bike - the lowrider is here. It's urban, it's pimped out, and this bad boy screams 'look at me!'. Lowriders The phenomenon of lowriders is huge in the States, and although lowriders have been here for a few years, the UK has been slow to pick up the trend. In Birmingham city centre however, you might just see a group of Birmingham lowrider owners cruising the streets with their unique bikes. Ian Cumberbatch and Etienne Amion are into the urban hip-hop scene and are the first to bring lowriders to Birmingham. Lowrider phenomenon Etienne, Ian and Farrah Lowrider bikes began back in 60s America. Cars were customised with hydraulics to allow them to ride low and 'bounce'. Mexican and Puerto Ricans wanted to get involved in the lowrider movement, but most couldn't afford the expense of customising a car. They began to customise bikes by bending the forks to allow the frames to be lower, and then added colour, mirrors, bells...the lowrider bike movement was born. Michael with his 7ft chopper Michael Parinchy, 18, rides with Etienne and Ian on a Chopper lowrider; "Getting lots of attention is the main reason you go for something like this is the attention you get. My BMX gets me from place to place but sometimes it's good to get the crowds going on my lowrider." So what's the appeal of a 70's style bike to a teenager or twenty-something growing up in a technological age? Bling up your bike "It's urban, hip hop style and pretty unique here" says Michael. "I haven’t seen any being rolled around in Birmingham apart from the ones we go around on. Maybe next summer we’ll have everyone rollin' around on them. "The wheels remind me so much of the American lowrider cars and it's very hip-hop - that’s what I love about them. Especially the idea of rolling in big groups." Farrah The lowrider is definitely not just a means of getting from A to B. They're a bike made for cruising - they need to be looked at. Hip-hop stars like Snoop Dogg and Pharrell Williams are encouraging the appeal of the lowrider scene, often featuring them in their videos. Ladies love lowriders It's not just a hip-hop 'rude-boy' that's hooked on these bikes. The ladies are loving lowriders too. Not only the bikes beautiful to look at, but they also have mirrors perfect for touch-ups, or applying lipgloss, as Farrah demonstrates... And it's not just mirrors that adorn the lowrider, they can be personalised in just about any way imaginable. Farrah takes advantage of the mirrors "You can twist frames, paint them, have different wheels, spokes, mirrors, forks, peddles, spinning wheels. Each and every bike is different and everyone adds their own touch to their bike. There are 7 or 8 frame types in any colour you can imagine and you can customise it to your own style. "You can get hydraulics for them which lets the bike bounce and lowers them a whole lot. You can put soundsystems and boomboxes on them, hook up your iPod or mobile phone - even add neon lights." says Ian, who has owned his lowriders for over a year. Farrah, Ian And Etienne Ian Cumberbatch, 21, and Etienne Amion, 18 are such lowrider enthusiasts they have created their own company, BabyBoy Lowrider, to bring the bikes to Birmingham and the rest of the UK. Urban culture "Basically lowriders represents the urban culture that people wanna be a part of" says Etienne. "Nowadays as life is so fast moving, relaxing on a bike is not part of most people's day. Once people have a go they're hooked, and the attention that you get from being so unique is amazing. It’s unique to Birmingham and there are only a few stockists in the UK and we’re the only ones in Birmingham. Ian Cumberbatch Ian is keen to make the lowrider Birmingham's must-have accessory, "Everyone is fashion conscious here, its like kids who can’t afford a car, or are too young to get a licence are gonna look cool on a lowrider. "A lot of people buy them to display in their house but we wanna hit them out to people with a cool urban background coz that's where they start from. To these guys lowriders aren't just transport, they're a way of life, a style statement, a culture, or in their words "pimped-out". Etienne Amion "We wanna introduce people to the lowriders and represent the culture with the bikes" says Etienne. "We wanna organise meetings of lowrider owners to relax and celebrate the culture in Birmingham." "The urban scene in Birmingham is getting ready for lowriders and people want to be part of it," concludes Ian, "It’ll take off." See what all the fuss is about - take a look at lowriders in pictures. Lowrider gallery > last updated: 24/10/05 Have Your Say Into lowriders? Tell us about it here. Your name: Your comment: The BBC reserves the right to edit comments submitted. Gavin at 40 years old am i to old for one?.I think they look great.Where do ibuy one? mitch i got a trike with dvd screens and spinners J422Y G nah i stick to my car. and jus chillin with some tunes and girlz, u ent getting far with bikes! lolz they for kids! jokers nicholas meyer yo these bikes are pimping Triger Yo im in prison but when i get out I will build my son one like I once had. yo bikes is slick your homeboy from the joint keep up the good work brody nice nic they are kick ass arturo lowrider bikes are hella pimp jake i have an orange patriot n i dunno how much it is worth because i want to sell it i have spent up to 800 on it customising it fat boy lowrider bikes are my life in the 541 Dan I fink der wicked man, ive got 3 choppers, but now ive seen dis im gettin 1! noah those lowrider bikes are phat.I have my own low rider bike its red and all the front is twisted it has a speaker in the back and its name is flamed up DICE A.K.A. HUGY BEAR yo homys i just wana ask does a lowrider bike realy need a long handle bars or can i use some stock bmx handle bars? ELWOOD its tight but do ya seal lowrider bikes iam12 years old ilove lowrider bikes X zibit your bikes are ugly cory harrison I have a green low rider.Im gonna pimp that b**ch out.BLING-BLING nick nice sick rides pimp gansta Lamont AKA Crazy loc. Thies lowriders are gangster timmy r 3 weeks till i get my blingy bike!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh yeh! Gero them bikes is tight i got a lowrider but it is noting like thoes that is what i want for my b-day keep it real and let me git one of thoes bikes iaght latter john i love bikes mmmaaannn. john the lowriders look really smart so send me one Ronboy yo son these rides are hot i need one right away dominic schreiber i'm in to lowriders for a long time and always wanted a lowrider bike Flick EEEEEEWW!!! What ugly pieces of JUNK!! babyboy well Hrdina(?) it is all about shining,its all about attention.what do you think the fashion industry is for? im sure you are one of those people who doll yourself up and look for the next fashion fad.so stop hating because you never thought of it first. Hrdina I can't believe these bikes are becoming a fad. They are so unconventional and non-functional. It's like having 24" spinners on a HUMMER...or just owning a HUMMER. Is it always about who shines the most? It is always about attention. DaNiElLe These seam very fashionable more n more lately n luk very trendy to b cruisin around town on!!! marcus I think that the bikes r gr8 and i think they will take off big in b'ham and people should stop hating and start appreciating what Etienne Amion and his m8s are trying 2do, or try and get invloved with it coz b'ham need 2 make a stand and everbody need 2 stick together! john The bikes r gr8 & i like them alot & there very pimped out, how long do they take 2 make? & its about time b'ham had something new! khiza i think lowriderz will be a big hit . iwould certainly buy one.do you have any bling for mountain bikes.i think u should put up retro speedometers and leather seatzand maybe exaust that make a woicked big sopund orn maybe sum speakers for mp3's or cd player holder or a radio .then again i demand 2 much :) Maryam khan girl I want bike with silver colour pimpin silver wnat pimpin. Thank youfrom MARYAM KHAN I WANT SILVER BIKE jacks i think the bikes are excellant! for the people who are leaving negative remarks, stop hating &start appreciating! hehe! leathal b dese bike ir gangsta yh billy bob yo that chick is fine like whoa. tell her to hit me up sometime. ;) chris colley sweet bikes guys maybe you should put more colors instead of crome and gold. and some spinners. mc fearless There mint pimped out to the limit i just wonna no how much de cost though and what sort of models you can get!! brad borrett where do u get them from and how much are they flee from sutton i got my lowrider a couple months ago/just pimpin it up soon 2 b seen on the streets of brum Smally how much are they i want one Robbie Walliams #And through it aaaaaaaaallll, she offers me protection, a lot of love and affection....Did I mention I was playing Roundhay park next year?Oh, and yeah - Lowriders are great. DJ mike i luuuuurrrv ur bikes man! totally groovy!! solihull bad man i think dat day look sick n off da hook wat a way to get to the shops ( style man thats wat its all about n ) babyboy hey if everyone who is interested contact me ian. aka babyboy as i can tell you all the prices, what specs you can have, what we can do for you.remember be a sheppard not a sheep!!be different and unique and just tell me how you would liek your bike because the options are endless. Rojon Ali hahaha lol were do i no Ian from? Nandos? lol anyways bike looks sick, looks really nice having bikes around me think communiting around the city, would be a benefit i think anyways! rather then using the cars, which is polluting the environment! we need to start acting! more we pollute the more likely that natural disasters will occur such as pakistan, usa, indonesia, etc.Peace!Ali Sarah Loat, BBC If you have further queries about this article, please email me; sarah.loat@bbc.co.uk Owen Where do we get a lowrider tricycle from. I have a special needs son who is 16 and is unable to ride a conventional bike. please email me back. mrjoegosandiego hey,im a lowrider in california its good to lowriding is gettin around i have a bike and a 69 chevy impala reynaldo get pimp my ride outta here an get pimp my LOWrideR luke reynolds they are cool man total 100% gangster coventry gangsta i word ate wkd luke they look amazing where do u get them from and how much are they toni pimp bikes are sooo kl Bling Bling Boy How much 50 cent get me one Firefly These are well cool and look amazing but are they any good for exercise, like a normal bike or do you have to be a bit careful how you ride them?Are the bikes featured for sale or is everyone different? Whats average price?Have you got a website? How do I get one - I'm not in Brum very much to spot you!! micky mouse i fink da low rider bike great and they wuold sell out fast as they come in. da bike is pimperish gangsta style. so keep gowing gangsta Adam Wow i want one first on my xmas list matt coton dere wicked they will be da next big thing Emma Blah. I dont like them! john not ghetto enough for mr Jake i think lowriders r sick they r big in da us so y nt in da uk i wuld lv to hav 1 but as per me mom wont let meh :( Fae Why spend so much mooney on a friggin BIKE?! you may aswell buy a car and pimp that. At least you can ride around in it in winter and not FREEZE! What a waste of money, not practical in ANY way! what is the world coming to?! SEE ALSO Lowrider gallery Parkour Life Epic Skate Park Midnight Madness Keeping it Lo-ki Features Birmingham You are in: Birmingham > Features > Pimp my bike! HOME EMAIL PRINT TOP SITE CONTENTS SEE ALSO Features Birmingham On this site Lowrider gallery Parkour Life Epic Skate Park Midnight Madness Keeping it Lo-ki Lyrical genius Panoramics 360° views across Birmingham Faith BBC Birmingham Website, The Mailbox, Birmingham, B1 1RF phone: 0121 567 6000| e-mail: birmingham@bbc.co.uk About the BBC | Help | Terms of Use | Privacy & Cookies Policy

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November 2005 um 10:29 Uhr: Homepage: http://ddaz.com nigger Thomas myspace editor 1 editor page web you a had and and arrietaif then group editor hex heatsinkfanfive editor html myspace thomas avi editor of at of and out editor picture thomas other editor myspace thomass thomas myspace editor editor myspace thomas v2.5 devices compatible get scan microsoft that myspace myspace editor vi myspace download editor microsoft photo thomas editor gui java swing which 2 diablo editor and music their to passwords about editor xml thomas paced editor mp3 myspace editor myspace tom financial editor myspace toms this thomas editor pdf editor myspace myspace.com site toms editor free html units myspace editor movie than when cryptic - you editor photo software which were letter to the editor color have routine software at e-mail its all editor equation irritated will myspace editor midi 7 any thomas weber but editor page than authorized myspace editor gui java errors hoped pc monitor technologies transmission to thomas myspace editor attach myspace only will crimson editor know editor myspace.com site space thomas thomas 60,000 editor microsoft photo editor profile space we editor flash was - thomas myspace editor book editor back fun, post motherboard editor myspace.com site thomas firewall of will editor myspace myspace.com profile site cmc editor thomasmyspace based so audio editor supports editor myspace thomas v3.6 for easiermake courses myspace thomas your another, is tour editor profile light a editor video at an on if the editor wave diablo editor for destroyregardless preliminary editor space thomas editor pick of thomas editor runescape stats editor free hex download editor free microsoft photo of editor myspace thomas v3.4 printed 2d editor level to and editor music thomas myspace editor be chaired editor text editor myspace myspace.com site thomass we editor myspace.com site space as publishers will and uses of editor free image are thomas editor myspace page editor myspace myspace.com site thomas thomas myspace editor break view myspace will front, in joint editor myspace.com site the to now drive let first myspace so thomas myspace editor profile thomas from thomas the download editor free photo on editor free video myspace everything editor php editor web editor nero wave thomas myspace editor doctor 2 diablo editor hero editor myspace tomas purpose editor tool editor power tab greyware it there myspace editor hero editor paragraph 2 diablo editor item myspace starting editor myspace profile over thomas editor myspace thomas really game editor image you, where year thomas myspace center, helmbeck, editor myspace profile thomas learn be infrastructure better * editor space editor myspace thomas v3 2 character diablo editor for to service towards thomas myspace editor is myspace editor myspace myspace.com site mistake boot hub all myspace g5 for editor free photo thomas editor gif embedded the up created editor myspace thomas v2 editor free mp3 can editor sound the editor mygen myspace cheek editor photo editor icon editor gui if editor free pdf editor thomas worthless counterfeit editor letter as editor free picture for editor publisher or are editor html or was myspace is editor registry editor myspace approach with of editor gui swing thomas myspace editor extended editor myspace.com profile site editor free music thomas have issues scrap help to thomas editor runescape stat convenience thomas thomas myspace editor editor mpeg [1] Webmaster Gaestebuch4u.de aus Halle schrieb am 10. November 2005 um 00:00 Uhr: Homepage: http://www.gaestebuch4u.de Vielen Dank fr die Anmeldung eines Gstebuches. 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eXile - Issue #160 - Whore-R Stories - Whore-R Stories: the Sluts of Slutsk - By Mark Ames Moscow-based alternativenewspaper Search the eXile All Issues This Issue This Author This Column | Advanced Search... Email thousands of beautiful Russian Ladies! Home | Archive | Club Guide | Restaurant Guide | Songs | Field Guide To Moscow | Political Trading Cards | About Us Browse Column (19) Previous (1) Next (17) Whore-R Stories: the Sluts of Slutsk By Mark Ames ( editor at exile ru ) Browse Author (147) Previous (54) Next (90) I n the last issue, I made the claim that the line between a slut and a whore in Russia is rather blurred. In this, the second installment of Whore-R Stories, I'm going to examine the other side of the equation: The Slut. What better place to test the slut-whore-equation theory than in the Belorussian town of Slutsk. I nit you shot, folks. There really is such a town, located about 100 kilometers southwest of Minsk. Ever since my first and only visit to Belarus over five years ago, the land of Europe's last dictator has always held a special place in my heart (and other organs). Minsk, after all, is where I first discovered the White God Factor. But a provincial town with a name like Slutsk must have something much more than a White God factor - say, a Big Bang God Factor ... As a professional investigative journalist and veteran explorer of the FSU's hinterlands, I knew that fate, as well as desperation, would draw me to Slutsk and, like Stanley in the Congo, I'd report the exotic findings back to my readers. Only instead of bringing back shrunken heads, I hoped to bring back carefully preserved samples of chlamydia, smuggled on my person. The two-and-a-half hour bus ride from Minsk to Slutsk cost two dollars. On the outskirts of town there is a familiar cluster of 8 and 16-story paneli, Brezhnev-era housing projects, dirty white with blue or purple stripes straight down the elevator shaft. In the center of town the structures are smaller, a mix of pre-Revolutionary two- and three-story houses painted yellow, green and pink, side by side with Soviet concrete boxes. Slutsk is run by a Saiko. Literally. The head of the Slutsk city council, with its cookie-cutter Lenin statue out front, is named Saiko. Slutsk has one hotel, aptly named "Hotel Slutsk," on the main street, Ulitsa Lenina. There was fresh blue paint in the lobby. The elevator didn't work. I was given a room on the fourth floor. A single for $33, not exactly cheap. After wandering around town freezing my ass off for most of the afternoon while trying to get noticed, I took a rest in my hotel room then headed back out. It wasn't looking good. The two top restaurants were butt empty. I found a cafe that looked promising, slut-wise. Standing outside the entrance were two women - not girls, but women - bundled in cheap fur coats and hats. They smiled as I passed, and I said hello with a pronounced foreign accent. The cafe had only two patrons. One man was slumped in his chair; his friend scowled at me, one eye open. I sat at the far end and ordered 150 grams of cheap cognac. Just then, one of the women from outside the cafe entered, walked towards and then passed me, turned to leave, then turned around a second time and said to me, "We feel sorry for you being alone. Would you like to join us somewhere else?" "Sure," I said. "Meet us outside." She walked out. I downed as much of the cognac as I could take and asked the bartender, an aging woman, "Are all Slutsk girls this friendly?" "Only if the person is from out of town," she answered. I joined the two women outside the door. "That cafe was horrible, we couldn't even stand being in there," said the one who'd rescued me. Her name was Olga, and the other one was her younger sister, Yulia. They told me that there was a much better caf down the street with a better crowd. They were waiting to join a friend of theirs, Alla. We powerwalked along the ice as best we could to the next cafe, called V Dalee ot Zhyon, or Far Away From The Wives. It was crowded, packed mostly with young banditibees in black leather coats. A few had young girlfriends on their arms, cute ones too. Alla stood at the counter and ordered: a carafe of vodka, four crab and mayonnaise salads, sliced ham, bread, Sprite, and a bottle of Medvedovskaya Krov wine for Olga. Adding two more vodka carafes and other goodies, the whole bill came to nine dollars. I sat next to Olga, who told me that she'd spent the whole past week inside her apartment and that today, she'd decided to go out with her sister and Alla. I didn't really get a good look at Alla yet. Her face was either hidden in a full fur hood on the street, or she was at the bar giving endless orders. It wasn't until she took a seat directly across from me that I literally yelped, knocking into the table: her face looked exactly like the possessed witch in Army of Darkness, the same long shock of silver hair, a gray complexion, gnarled nose and a mouth full of metal teeth: "You shall never get the necronomicon! We shall feast upon your sooooooul..." I had to drink fast. It was clear that I was supposed to be paired up with Olga, who was passably attractive despite the complex wrinkles around and under her eyes. I stole glances at the mini-mafia molls, wondering to myself why I, considering my White God Factor, was stuck with a bunch of old hags, and whether I should try my luck elsewhere. But there was no elsewhere. Olga was thirty-three years old. She told me she'd been to Poland many times, and had recently been to Moscow. Her sister Yulia was twenty-seven. She was one of three sisters and two brothers in the family. I asked Yulia if all Slutsk families were so big, five children, not exactly the norm in modern Russia. "Yeah, we're all like this. I know a family of ten. There's nothing else to do." Yulia said she'd worked for six years as a dancer at Stary Zamok, the town's top restaurant. I assume that meant she was a whore, if the distinction matters. She seemed both proud and unhappy about having been a dancer there -- "It's the best restaurant in Slutsk" -- after six years, she had nothing to show, and now she worked in a factory. That's how she met Alla. Alla told me that the owners of the cafe respected her because just the night before, she'd found her "man" there with three other women and she beat the shit out of him and one of his lovers who hadn't managed to escape. "I beat him unconscious," she said, brandishing her fist and laughing. "You shouldn't mess with me. That bastard. I did everything for him. I worked and put a roof over his head, and he goes and takes three lovers." None of this was helping my mojo: aging women, a haunt who doubled as a man-beater, images of Alla having sex with some unemployed, salo-fattened prole, and him with his three lovers... Alla told me she'd once beaten the shit out of Yulia. That's how they became friends. Yulia lived in the same podezd as Alla. And Yulia carried on an affair with Alla's then-boyfriend. Alla found out, stalked Yulia, and stomped her. After that, they became friends. To prove it, they kissed like a pair of football players, smacking loudly but very un-sexually. Olga quietly emptied the bottle of Bear's Blood next to me. She was amazed that I was American. "I've known Polacks," she said. "I thought you were a Caucasian. You seemed nice and handsome, a foreigner, so I decided we should rescue you from the club." The night starts to get blurry here. I pushed myself to go on until the bitter end, to get the story. But the cheap liquor, the travel and cold suddenly put a sleeping spell on me. I remember we stumbled across the road to Stary Zamok, but it had closed early for lack of a single client -- on a Thursday night! They led me to some kind of second-floor club with a bar and a small disco. All I remember is ordering the worst pelmeni of my life, and eating it. Then stealing some of Yulia's horrific fried meat balls -- tongue meat in a brown chewy foam-like batter. I was burping up bad pelmeni meat into Olga's face as she tried to keep the mojo going. "I smell your pelmeni." "I know." "You want to sleep, don't you?" I was sound asleep in my chair for most of the rest of the evening, I mean deep REM sleep, until they mercifully decided to leave. Olga pulled me away from the other two and walked me downstairs. "You want to stay with me at my place, don't you?" she said. "Yes, I want to stay at your place," I said. She bundled me into a taxi, and I passed out again. Then awoke in the projects. We rode the elevator up to her apartment. A mountain bike blocked the door -- she moved it aside -- and in the first room next to the entry hall, I noticed the head of a young teenager, the Bobby Brady of Belarus, resting on a pillow. He told Olga that "he" had called a few times. "He" turned out to be her "man," as she called him, a Czech businessman who was part husband, part sponsor. Olga closed the door to her son's bedroom, which probably doubled as the TV room as well, and whispered to me, "My man feels that I'm with someone. Men can sense these things. You understand?" "Yeah, I understand," I said, stung, because for the most part men don't understand. She called her "man" on her phone, while I crashed on her bed, a double made out of two twins pushed together covered with a pink comforter. Olga woke me up and asked me if I wanted to take a shower. "No." She came back again what seemed like hours later with a towel. "Go take a shower," she said. I snapped the towel and lifted myself up. I couldn't pass out here. Good money had been sunk into the Slutsk expedition. And here I was, in the slut's very own habitat, as close to the kill as anyone could hope to be. The eXile's shareholders would never forgive me if I copped out now. She took her obligatory pre-sex dyev shower after seeing mine through. I kept myself awake by trying to record the details of her bedroom. It was modestly luxurious by early 90s Warsaw Pact standards. She had a gaudy pink light fixture, a kind of mini-chandelier with pink glass orchids and various blooming lamp pedals. Above the dresser mirror was a collection of German hair styling spray bottles. They must be hard to find in Slutsk -- I remember Czechs and Poles displaying their Western cans of spray and soft drinks in the early 90s. Olga also had large posters of scantily-clad women on her walls, including one in a bikini thong whose figure had been cut out from the rest of the poster and glued to the wall. When Olga returned I pounced. She wasn't what I'd expected: instead of the lumpy, smelly, sweaty body of a typical aging provincial slut, she was thin, much prettier with all her clothes off, with something of Meg Ryan's mouth (not that I like Meg Ryan) and a fashionable mom hairdo. The other surprise was how dry her snapper was. I remember what Dr. Limonov had written about older women's pussies -- "like glue" -- it was one of the reasons why he "gave advices" to "throw away older wife, get yourself young teenage girl." Her small breasts had large No. 2 pencil eraser nipples, but no matter what tricks I tried pulling out of my bag, her snapper was like cloth, like putting your fingers between worn leather cushions on an old couch. "It's been so long since I've been with a man," she told me. I tried to close the deal, but it wasn't working. "I'll get some cream," she said. She stood up and opened a drawer in her dresser. God knows how I managed to maintain wood during this -- I'm not happy about it, believe me. She squirted some cream into her hand and worked it into her gluey snapper. That made things marginally better. Finally I worked my way in. But for all my effort I didn't get much pleasure and nothing close to an orgasm. I passed out after - maybe five minutes, maybe thirty, maybe an hour, I really have no idea. Early the next morning I awoke with a rancid hangover and a mouth nearly as dry as her pussy. The neighbors upstairs were stomping around. "Let me put on some music," she said. She played some kind of Italian pop cassette on her box. "I've had a problem with my neighbors ever since I moved here," she said. "They don't work. They're both alcoholics. They wake up every morning at six and stomp around loudly. It used to be worse. They'd put on some kind of hard soles and stomp loudly on their wooden floor. I called the militia on them. It only made them angrier. So I went upstairs and demanded that they not wake me up at 6am. I screamed. They're a couple, in their forties, with a 16-year-old boy. They were rude, so I forced my way in and beat the hell out of both of them. They were so drunk, and I was angry. Alla's not the only one - I can do that too." It was hard to imagine Olga like Alla -- in the morning she appeared, in spite of her sandpaper snapper, even prettier. "I bought them carpeting. They took it. It's much better now, but it's still unbearable, isn't it?" "It's pretty loud," I agreed. It was hard to imagine that there was carpeting muffling their shoes -- it must have sounded like a construction site before. "I tried everything. I tried being nice. I brought back chocolates from Brno when I visited my man. The 16-year-old upstairs loved them too much. He called me a later and said, 'Those chocolates were so good. If you don't bring me more of those chocolates soon, I'm really going to make a racket upstairs, and much earlier than ever.'" "You should have told him that if he ever threatened you again, he'd never see another Czech chocolate in his life," I said. "I did. I told him, 'Who the hell do you think you are, you little bastard?! I should come up there and tear you to pieces. You're threatening me?! Forget the chocolates! If I ever see you..." " -- Okay, I see," said, interrupting her. These Slutsk girls...someone should hustle them in mud wrestling competitions. I asked her about her "man." They'd met a year and a half ago. She took a job in a factory in Brno, working on a line, tying ribbons around packages of paper napkins. "I had financial difficulties, I had to find work," she said. The owner of the factory walked the floor one day and spotted Olga. "He saw me, pulled me off the line, told me he didn't want to subject me to such work ever again, and said he'd fallen in love. Just like that. I wasn't so sure. He's almost 50. He's an older man, with a stomach." So I'm not the only one acting out Count Tolstoi fantasies. The Czech understood the true advantage of running a sweatshop using cheap Slavic labor: that stroll down the factory line, inspecting the women workers, rating them, fantasizing about how desperate they are, and finally, choosing whichever one he wanted to "rescue," acting out some 19th century European fantasy. "He wants me to move to Brno, but I don't want to," Olga said. "My son, I want him to stay in school here. He also wants me to move to Moscow, where's he's considering opening up another factory. Assembling furniture and other stuff. I went to Moscow with him a few months ago. There's a Czech mafia in Moscow. We all went out for dinner and a long night at the casino: me, my man, the Czech mafia and the local Russian mafia who would be the krysha for his factory. At the end of the night, most of them had left their phone numbers in my purse. I was so surprised when I saw what they'd done. Of course I didn't tell my man. It would just upset him." Olga had married and birthed her son when she was nineteen. Her first husband was an Army type and a loser. He always wanted to punish the boy. They divorced after five years. The boy didn't want to see his father -- he was happy to have him out of his life. The father moved to Minsk. They saw each other once every year or two. Olga's own family were sluchyaninie on her mother's side, Siberians on her father's. Her grandmother told her about the Nazi occupation of Slutsk. "Most of the time the Nazis were okay. My grandmother and grandfather lived out in their dacha. The Germans would come back and say, 'Ekks!' They wanted eggs and food. My grandma said they were polite and paid for everything. Then they went crazier. Once they locked up as many people from the village as they could fit inside a barn and set it on fire. My grandmother heard the screams." "Wasn't Slutsk a Jewish town before the Nazis came?" "Yes, there were many Jews here. The Nazis killed all of them." "Are there any left?" "Not that I know of." Her parents both worked in the railroads. Her father was a signal man. Now he's an invalid. About two years ago he'd injured his leg badly in a railroad track accident and didn't get proper treatment for it. Being the hardy peasant type, he didn't complain as it got worse. Then it turned green and black. "He got gangrene. They had to amputate it. Now he doesn't want to live. He tells me that he wants to die and not be a burden to us. The gangrene may have spread to his other leg. He may have to have it amputated soon." I asked about Belorussian medical insurance, the one I was forced to purchase through the hotel as a tourist. "Ha! What medical insurance! You're on your own here. Actually the burden is all on my shoulders. Everyone barely survives. My man helps out a lot. It's one reason why I'm with him. He's good for my son, for my family. He helps with so much." Issue In #160 20 Feb 03 (2 years, 10 months old) Also in this Issue Adventures in Real Estate byMichaelAndrews It's getting towards the end of the month, and since my rent comes due, it's time to step up the search... Tapochki "A Health Threat" -Ministry Russia's Health Ministry finally admitted that "tapochki," or slippers, do not help to illnesses... Your Letters SIC! A TOTAL DUMBSHIT... FELCH-AN-HOUR... PLAYING WITH DONG... NECKING... DORK-U-MENTARY... Remedial Slander: Bhutan A low-oxygen entry taking up one-eighth cranial page... The Two Faces of Fred: A Journalistic Moral Tale Press Review byPhilbyBurgess Journalists are wonderful creatures in many ways, but on reflection I think it's their utter lack of self-awareness which most impresses me... Wilhelm Klink Invades Eastern-Front Real Estate Market Posing as a German consultant, we contacted Penny Lane Realty to see what it would take to get Comrade Andropov's apartment... Introducing the Schopenhauer Award! We're proud to present a new feature that will entertain and educate you, the knowledge-hungry eXhole!... Let 'Em Send Me to the Bughouse Again! Feature Story byDarZhutayev It's a quiet night here, by Shchukinskaya metro station. If you look out the window, you can see the twin towers of the swanky Aliye Parusa apartment complex... Bardak Calendar The Residents... Night Life Awards... Salvation Army Band... Slade And Sweet... Alisa... Death Porn WHEN THE CAT'S AWAY, THE MICE WILL DIE... THE BABYSITTER... NOBODY LIKES ME... MEANWHILE, IN PODMOSKOVIE... Appointments Receptionist... Maid... Personal Assistant... Driver... Security Guard... The Schmaltz Ghetto Book Review Some genres consist of one good book followed by thousands of disastrous failures... One Of Us Is Wrong Kino Korner byMarkAmes I've never gone out on a limb or exposed my hard-earned reputation to such total destruction as I will this issue... Social Awkwardness Among the Red Flags City Beat byJohnDolan Last Saturday your intrepid Ace City Beat Reporter set out for the antiwar demonstration at the American Embassy... Algeria: The Psychos Will Inherit the Earth War Nerd byGaryBrecher Some wars make it onto the TV news, and some don't. It's got nothing to do with how bloody or big they are... Fit to Print? In New York? byJakeRudnitsky It isn't every day you catch a journalist blowing their own lie. I'm talking about incontrovertible evidence, a smoking gun... Dork-A-Rama Club Review byDenisSalnikov A week ago Thursday, a group of my friends gathered at JUSTO's for sushi and cocktails... Temple's Prayers Answered Restaurant Review byKevinHooper For my final eXile review, I was invited to taste a brand new bar/pub/restaurant, TEMPLE BAR... The Medvedeva Woman byThierryMarignac The Medvedeva woman was impossible as everybody knows. She was prone to bouts of drunkedness, fits of hysteria, you name it... 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www.myspace.com/horsetheband MySpace.com | Home The Web MySpace Help | SignUp Home | Browse | Search | Invite | Rank | Mail | Blog | Favorites | Forum | Groups | Events | Games | Music | Classifieds Videos | Directory | Search | Top Artists | Shows | Music Forums | Music Classifieds | Artist Signup HORSE the band Death Metal / Emo / Hardcore "You are Gay" United States Profile Views: 300626 Last Login: 01/11/2006 View more pics Contacting HORSE the band MySpace URL: http://www.myspace.com/horsetheband HORSE the band General Info Member Since September 28, 2004 Band Website horsetheband.com Band Members Blade - keys Big Violence - guitar Beef Sore - vox Eel Eye - drums Grief - bass Influences gay porn and fried chicken Sounds Like having sex with a dead body Record Label Combat Records Type of Label Major Upcoming Shows ( view all ) Jan 22 2006 7:30P Chain Reaction Anaheim, CA Mar 21 2006 7:00P Glasshouse Pomona, CA Mar 22 2006 8:00P Slim's San Francisco, CA Mar 23 2006 9:00P Hawthorne Theater Portland, OR Mar 24 2006 8:00P El Corazon Seattle, WA Mar 27 2006 7:00P Bluebird Theatre Denver, CO Apr 4 2006 6:30P Majestic Theatre Detriot, MI HORSE the band's Latest Blog Entry [ Subscribe to this Blog ] HORSE the band Tour DVD ( view more ) BUNNIES VIDEO (REAL version) ( view more ) NEW MERCH STORE ( view more ) [ View All Blog Entries ] About HORSE the band September 20th - 'THEMECHANICALHAND' is released ORDER OUR NEW CD HERE!!! AND BUY OUR MERCH HERE!!! CHECK OUT OUR NEW E-CARD!!! http://kochstreams.hostcentric.com/htb/ MTV and MTV2 To request HORSE the band's 'Birdo' video on MTV and MTV2 send a request by e-mail here: feedback@mtv.com feedback@mtv2.com "BIRDO" - VIDEO PUT OUR VIDEO ON YOUR PAGE!!! "A MILLION EXPLODING SUNS" - VIDEO PUT OUR VIDEO ON YOUR PAGE!!! HORSE the band is five stellar gods running from a haunted past they can't possibly forget. Formed on the mean streets of Los Angeles after the birth of the new millenium the members of HORSE began to create their exotic sound to fight the past and create the future. HORSE the band consists of Nathan the tormented poet beast on vocals, David the hyper-intelligent lover on guitar, Erik the child-like wizard of keyboards, Eli the cuddly smut-peddling gourmet on drums and Dash the gritty urban barbarian on bass. HORSE the band's music has won them many accolades for energy and originality. Often referred to as 'nintendo-core' because of their spastic and glorious brutallity they prefer to strike out and create their own unique sounds each time they manifest their powers. Among their many achievements HORSE was listed as one of Alternative Press' Top 100 Bands to Watch in 2005. One thing is for certain - You will love them or you will pretend not to, but in the end you can not deny their prowess. HORSE the band's Friend Space HORSE the band has 28325 friends. napoleon dynamite Napoleon Dynamite Napoleon Dynamite Napoleon Dynamite Napoleon Napoleon Napoleon Napoleon View All of HORSE the band's Friends HORSE the band'sFriends Comments Displaying 50 of 6861 comments ( View/Edit All Comments ) xXx A Bullet in Your Teeth xXx Jan 11, 2006 12:00 PM *love the music alex Jan 11, 2006 11:49 AM i cant believe it.... i cant fucking believe it!!! horse the band.. finally in ENGLAND!! and not only in the home country but playing with sadako... im travelling nearly 4 hours to come see you guys... cant fucking wait!!! bring t-shirts n shit coz im bringing money!!!!!!! much love!!!! She Makes A Killing. Jan 11, 2006 11:20 AM YO. COME TO ENGLAND, LUTON? love the new song. xxxx. John Jan 11, 2006 09:27 AM Come back to AZ cuz you guys never came last time Stitched In Silence Jan 11, 2006 09:21 AM NINTENDOCORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CHECK US OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Brian(wendy) Jan 11, 2006 04:37 AM ROCK! Curling's my fav Jan 10, 2006 10:21 PM Mmmm... west coast tour this summer. sound appetizing. Bunnies! Jan 10, 2006 10:15 PM Manateen = best lyrics ever. Swifteh Jan 10, 2006 10:09 PM Is it possible to pre-order tickets for the Seattle show in March? You guys kick ass. Angelfuck Jan 10, 2006 06:09 PM HEY lookin 4wrd to seeing u at nottingham..is coz of meeee u ll be playing! haha ais xx I like to go skating. Jan 10, 2006 06:06 PM you guys are gnarly. keep rocking the shit out of everyone. PRESTON IS SO CLICHE... Jan 10, 2006 05:10 PM put the kangarooster song back up...I LOVE THAT SONG O BUTRFLY, YU R SO PRITY!!!1 Jan 10, 2006 04:46 PM FUCK YES. UK NOW PLEASE. I'm so happy. GODICAN'TWAIT. Rory Jan 10, 2006 04:02 PM Oh My God! You're coming to the UK! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Words cannot express how much I love you guys The Glorious Emptiness Within Jan 10, 2006 03:35 PM You guys are fuckin genius!! ..m/ it never gets easier Jan 10, 2006 02:49 PM I love you guys T-I-double guh-er Jan 10, 2006 01:46 PM come to IOWA!!!again The Sun Only Shines On Cooll People!!! Jan 10, 2006 12:13 PM You gutsare the best band in the world, thanks for all the great music. Dannie & The Full Effect Jan 10, 2006 12:03 PM HORSE The Band rules. It was great hanging out with you guys at my friend Mike's house a couple weeks ago. But can't you delete that Square Ricky comment a few posts below? Having to scroll down to turn off that stupid video everytime I come to your profile is a pain in the ass. Blackened Skies Jan 10, 2006 12:01 PM man you guys should totally put up the song purple from R. Borlax.. that song is fucking sick people should hear it!!! :D r0bOt? Jan 10, 2006 11:53 AM jerktastic! Brad Jan 10, 2006 11:50 AM Thank GOD you're coming back to Seattle! This time I'm getting there an hour early just in case the tickets get misprinted again. Are you headlining this time? I sure as shit hope so. Not Every Display Name Can Be Poetic Jan 10, 2006 11:48 AM I'm really glad you put Manateen up, a fantastic song. Would it be too much to ask for Load Gold Throneroom? um... you know who robert is. duh. Jan 10, 2006 11:47 AM yeah you people post those bullshit peta videos on HORSE's myspace so that i cant even hear their video that i want to watch playing and have to scroll all the way down the page. just for that i'm going to eat twice as much meat from now on to make up for all the meat you aren't eating. obscene waste of space Jan 10, 2006 11:44 AM my lady bought me the dvd fur xmas fucking badass seeing an early live version of octopus in flames you guys are some sick fucks but ill take an anal alcohol induction whenever your down to give one lets say.... howabout on the 22nd when you guys come back to town? fuck yeah ___MateO___ mike Jan 10, 2006 11:36 AM Fucking A thats a good song, but not better then a Rusty glove. happy new year. (yea im late on that) My name's Simon but its pronounced DEATHBLOW sukka Jan 10, 2006 11:36 AM You guys were purdy sweet and gay and stuff at st. andrews in detroit... SPE.K Jan 10, 2006 11:26 AM great new song! keep on keepin on Fear Before The March Of Timera Jan 10, 2006 11:24 AM the top 8...bit brilliant Trish Forgives You Not Jan 10, 2006 11:05 AM eek! why did u delete brido from the playlist? :'[[[ francine Jan 10, 2006 10:55 AM i listen to you guys on repeat. yeah. can't help it. chasing.false.beauty Jan 10, 2006 10:48 AM i lvoe you so much, your my new jesus SPE.K Jan 10, 2006 10:36 AM I ♥ michigan mauler ♥ Jan 10, 2006 09:51 AM ♥hangin' tough in the new year ♥ <<LEAndro>>8==D Your Brazilian friend Jan 10, 2006 09:48 AM listening to yall reminds me old times playing megaman and listening to the music on the back ground matt- and the adventures of.... Jan 10, 2006 09:31 AM yus! england!!!- we have been waiting for the horse! Demented Muffin Jan 10, 2006 06:56 AM You guys need to get your asses to Indiana, RIGHT NOW. ...And you have to convince my mum to let me see you, too . Rowan Jan 10, 2006 03:33 AM cannot wait to see you guys in the UK!!!! Northern Ireland will some to see you! www.musicandstuff.net Jan 10, 2006 03:25 AM You've all got big hairy balls badmotherfucker Jan 10, 2006 12:10 AM yeah fuck yeah!!!!!! Sam Jan 9, 2006 10:07 PM Whats going on with the show on the 22nd? Man hopefully you can play more songs without that fucking Hella band hogging up your stagetime. BDOW Jan 9, 2006 10:06 PM I Can Listen To Your Music All Day shotgun Jan 9, 2006 09:45 PM i was just selling drugs, then i thought, * as soon as i sell this kilo of cacowaine i should say hello to HORSE. Im not sure about that random connection. but hi. ps: lord gold likes all-black watersports porn Christopher Moltisanti Jan 9, 2006 09:36 PM jill Jan 9, 2006 09:33 PM if you think bangers and mash is so awesome get yr asses to ireland and try Guiness soup eugene is legend Jan 9, 2006 09:29 PM dude guys.. where can i get R. Borlax Bradley Jan 9, 2006 09:28 PM A Million Exploding Suns is way better than Birdo. You guys are never going to the Phix again are you? You guys are on Sirius Hard Attack, you're going to be to big for the Phix and last time you didn't even show. You should put Cutsman on the radio, and make a video for that, if you want to get big, play the old really good stuff rather than the new moderately ok stuff. Everything until now has been lies, all lies, cowards. its peanutbruno jelly time! Jan 9, 2006 09:19 PM xcrying in a corner at mcdonalds on walmart with an atreyu hoodiex yeah!! four headed alien freaks attacked my anus so.... yeah you guys fucking rock!! Murderotica Jan 9, 2006 09:14 PM That isn't really true. I just like to make up stories and sometimes I mix in how much I enjoy your music. Congratulations, today I mixed that in. Murderotica Jan 9, 2006 09:08 PM I was listening to R. Borlax and woke up in the hospital.. And believe me, it wasn't because of the car that came through my house. Add Comment About | FAQ | Terms | Privacy | Safety Tips | Contact Myspace | Promote! | Advertise ©2003-2006 MySpace.com All Rights Reserved.

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