Whore Train
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Glossary Home Glossary Words in canting use are printed in italics abject to reject. abram, abraham mad; naked. abram-man one of a class of vagrants who excited sympathy or terror in beholders by feigning madness. abroach, to set to let the liquid out of a cask. admiration a marvel. advoutery adultery. affect to regard affectionately. affiance confidence, trust. after-clap subsequent and unexpected stroke. afterdeal disadvantage. aim, to give to guide or encourage the archers. alate of late. ale-bush inn sign, inn. All Hallows toll-colletor's office at market. altham wife of a vagabond. amerce to fine (as legal punishment). amort, all out of spirits. angel a gold coin, value 10s. to 11s. angler thief who uses a hook on a line. antic clown, merry-andrew, apple-squire a pimp. apt to make fit, adapt. apronman workman, mechanic. armour of proof Strong armour of tested quality. arrant (subs.) errand; (adj.) itinerant, downright. a-swame fainting. ataunt See "taunt" atomy an atom, tiny being. autem a church. autem-mort a married female vagrant. bailie bailiff, sheriff's officer. bale (of dice) set required for any game. band the flat collar which began to replace the ruff in men's dress about the end of the sixteenth century. bandog a fierce watchdog, mastiff, hence a "bloodhound of the law". bandore Stringed musical initrument like a lute or gutar (Stanford). barnard, barnacle member of a group of swindlers; he first appears to be the victim of a joke, in which the dupe takes part. barnard's law a special department of the cony-catcher's craft. The dupe is persuaded to think that he is cheating others. barred dice see "dicing terms". Bartholomew babies dolls like those sold at Batholemew Fair. bash to be put out of countenance. basil a fetter. basilisco a piece of heavy ordnance. bate Strife, discord. bat-fowling cony-catching at cards. batteler a rank among poor students at Oxford. bauer beaver, the lower face-portion of a helmet. bawdy-basket name for peddling woman. bawker roguish player in bowling-alley who has confederates in the crowd. beak magistrate. beaupere companion. beater taker-up (q.v.). bell-brow place of receiver of Stolen property. bellman watchman or town-crier. belly-cheat apron. bench-whistler idler. bene good. beneship very good; goodness. bene-faker of gybes one who manufactures false passes, licences etc. beray befoul. betraited distraught. bett past tense and past participle of "beat". bing to go. bing a waite! go you hence! bird cozeners' dupe. bit, bite coin or money. black jack a leathern jug for beer, tarred outside (Skeat and Mayhew). bleater vitirn of a Jack-in-a-box (q.v.). bleating-cheat calf or sheep. blue-coat beadle, servant in livery. bob to steal (from a person); to make a game of. boil to betray. The boil is up:the alarm is given. boll to drink. bolt a roll of textile fabric. bolt, boult to sift. bolsterer ? one who shares another's bolster. See N.E.D., s.v. "bolster" v. 6. bombast cotton wadding. boon represents (in such phrases as boon voyage ) a six-teenth century attempt to anglicise the French" bon. boot-hater freebooter, brigand. booty (i) play, at bowls, etc., which begins with intentional losses in order to encourage the opponent, who finally comes to grief; (ii) play which ends in loss, the "booty" coming to the loser's friends, who have laid their bets against him. bord a shilling; half-a-bord, six-pence. borsholder petty constable. boun to get oneself ready. bouse liquor; to drink. Rome bouse: wine. bousing ken ale-house. brabble to quarrel. brach bitch-hound. brack a flaw in cloth (N.E.D.). braid to assault, reproach passionately bran burn. brazil brazil-wood, used for making dyes, also for walking-sticks, clubs, etc. bribering Stealing. bristle dice see "dicing terms." broach to spit (in cooking) ; to flab, broker middleman; second-hand dealer; often employed to mean receiver of Stolen goods. broom-man Street-sweeper, scavenger. brunt a blow, onset. buck clothes prepared for washing; the liquid; the aion of washing them. budge a beak to flee from justice. budget a bag, wallet. bufe, bugher dog. bung a purse, pocket. buy a purse. cackling-cheat cock or capon. cacodaemon evil spirit. caliver light musket. callet a drab. Candlemas February 2nd, the Feast of the Purification of the Virgin. cannikin the plague. cant the secret language of thieves and beggars ; to speak this language; to beg in a whining tone. cantle the protuberant part at the back of a saddle (N.E.D.). cap-case travelling-bag, carcanet a collar of jewels. carl common fellow, countryman. cassan cheese. cast condemn; overthrow an opponent. cai1er a cloak. catlle to see or look. catchpole officer employed for making arrest. cater one who buys provisions. cates visuals. caul spider's web. cautel precaution, wariness, cent, sant game at cards with winning score a hundred. chafer saucepan, chapman trader, bargainer, salesman. charm one who picks a lock. chats, cheats gallows. cheap to trade, bargain. cheaped had at a bargain. cheat anything (usually qualified by preceding word, thus, "bleating-cheat," sheep). cheat a false die, cheat fine, forfeit, reversion, etc.which falls to a landlord. Chepemans Cheapside Market. chip worthless thing. chop to buy and sell. chop a card to change its place in the pack secretly. chopping vigorous, rapping. clapperdudgeon a beggar born; also as term of reproach. clewner chief man among the rogers (q.v.). cleym a sore. clinker to cause to shrink. cloth-man clothier. cloy a snap (q.v.). cloy to teal; to obtrint, encumber. cloyed intruded upon by others claiming a share (Grosart). cly seize, steal. cly the jerk to be whipped. cog a coin. cog to cheat at dice or cards, to practice deceit; see"dicing terms." Cole, colt a cheating knave, colt innkeeper who becomes victim of rank-riders (q.v.). colour pretence, false appearance of correctness. commission shirt. commodity advantage, profit; parcel of goods handed over by money-lender to a need client initead of money (sometimes called a "commodity of brown paper"); a whore. conceit, to take a to sicken of some morbid affection. congee to make a ceremonious bow. conjeát to devise, plot. contraries see " dicing terms." conveyance a trick, piece of roguery. cope to faiten up a ferret's mouth. copesmate associate, comrade, copy, to change one's to alter one's behaviour. cornuto a cuckold (lit, furnished with horns). corporal oath corporale juramentum, taken while touching a sacred object. corsie a corrosive. cote-card court-card. couch to embroider (rare). couch a hogshead to lie down to sleep. counsellor advising barrister. country a word often employed to mean county. Thus, "a countryman of mine " : a man from my county. couples pair of leashes holding together two hunting dogs. courtesy-man spokesman of a company of beggars pretending to be ex-soldiers. courtlax cutlass. cousin a dupe. cove person, fellow. covert protection, shelter. covetise covetousness. crack talk big, hoist, brag (Skeat die and ace with the other and Mayhew). crackmans a hedge. cramp-rings fetters. crank, the the falling sickness. A counterfeit crank is one who pretends to be a sufferer. crashing- cheats teeth. crassing-cheats apples, pears, and other fruit. cravant craven. creeping law the craft of those who follow petty thievery in the suburbs. crome stick furnished with a hook at the end. cross coin (colloquial). crossbiter swindler, tricker; often with a special sense, meaning one who extorts money by threats from a man found compromising himself with a woman of easy virtue. cross-lay a wager meant to deceive the company as to the caller's intentions. cue Q, half a farthing. cuffin man, fellow. curb the curber's hook. curb er one who steals from open windows. cursitor wanderer, tramp. curtal small piece of artillery; horse with docked tail (term of abuse). curtal vagabond who wears a short cloak. cushnet a little cushion. cut to speak, say. cut benely, to to speak gently. cut bene whids, to to speak properly, truly. derrick hangman; gallows. From the name of a Tyburn hangman (c. 1600). deuce-ace two and one (i.e. a throw that turns up deuce with one hence a poor throw, bad luck, mean estate, the lower class (N.E.D.). See "dicing terms." dewse-a-vill the country, as opposed to town. dicing terms ace =1 ; deuce =; trey =3 cater =4; ciflque=5; sice = 6. Kinds of dice (i) squariers are fair dice; (ii) langrets or barred dice are not perfect cubes, but have greater length along one axis. Thus barred cater-treys are longer in the 3-4 direction and will seldom turn up these numbers; so with barred sice-aces , cinque-deuces ; (iii) flats are dice shorter in one dimension; a flat cater-trey will therefore normally throw up a 3 or 4; (iv) fullams are weighted, and will throw up the side farthest from the weight; (v) gourds and (?) graviers are hollowed near one face and produce a contrary result; (vi) bristle dice have a short bristle attached to one face or edge; (vii) high men and low men are wrongly numbered on one face; usually 5 is subtituted for 2 in a high man , and 2 for 5 in a low man ; (viii) a demi or demi-bar is apparently a false die with only half the usual bias; (ix) contraries are false dice with an opposite tendency to those already in play, and will thus "crossbite" them; (x) the vantage is the tendency of a die; (xi) cogging is the manipulation of the die in the dice- box. dicker half-score. diddering and doddering shaking and shivering. diet course of life; board. disgest to digest. dispense heavy spending. diver house-thief who employs small boys to slip through windows. doddypol foolish person. dodkin doit, a Dutch coin; any small coin. dorsermaker maker of panniers. dosser basket. dottrel kind of plover, an easy prey. doxy female vagabond, travelling usually with a man. draw to pick a pocket. draw-latch petty thief. drift a scheme. drigger a thief. drink tobacco to draw in or inhale the smoke. drover a cheating horse-dealer in Smithfield Market. drug drudge. dry-vat box or cask for dry goods. duds clothes, things in general lag of duds, wash-bundle. dummerer beggar who feigns dumbness. dup to open (door or gate). dure to endure. eagle member of a group of confederates cheating at cards or dice. He it is who ultimately wins, ensample an example. even and odd a simple game of chance that can be played with dice and other pieces. exigent an emergency, critical moment or state. extirp extirpate. face, to show a brave to speak deceitfully. faculty trade, occupation. fadge to fit in with. fairing a present, generally understood as having been boughtat a fair. faitour early name for vagabond or cheat. faker (or feager) of loges one who makes or begs with false papers. fallows, to come over his to come over the ground that he had neglected - a rural metaphor (Grosart). famblers gloves. fambles hands. fambling-cheat a ring. farce to break open or pick a lock. fardel a bundle. farmerly beggars beggars who carry no artificial sores. feager see faker . fence to buy or sell stolen goods. ferme hole. ferret tradesman who lends commodities to ferret-hunters and their victims. ferret to cheat. ferret-beat, to strip a man of money by ferret-claw cheating him. lift to steal. lifter thief, cheat. lifts stolen goods. liggen to lie down . lightly usually. lime-twigs playing-cards. limiting law the art of thieves who practise their craft at assize-towns and fairs. linen-armourer orig. maker of adjuncts to armour; became jocular term for "tailor." lither lazy, demoralised. loges counterfeit papers. lorel, losel rogue, ragamuffin. lour money. lour a scowl. lowing-cheat a cow. lugs ears. lurch a high score in various games. lurch to deceive, to leave in the lurch. lurch, to have on the to have a man at a disadvantage. lurcher one who cheats at bowls. lusk a worthless fellow. macemonger nonce-word for police officer. make companion, mate. make a halfpenny. male portmanteau (Utterson). mammering muttering. mandilion kind of overcoat worn by soldiers and servants. mankind fierce, furious. Margery-prater a hen. mark 13s. 4d., not a coin. marker shop-thief's accomplice. marter receiver of stolen goods. martin a dupe. Marymass one of the festivals of the Virgin. mason's maund artificial sore on arm above the elbow. masty mastiff. maund begging; to beg. maund abram, to to beg in the manner of the abram-man. maunder(er) a beggar. meschant miserable, bad. metely moderately. meuse a hare's form. micher sneak, petty thief. mill break up, rob, spoil, kill, minion a loved one, mistress, mint money. mistress the jack (in bowls). moly a herb; Ulysses armed himself with it against Circe. monopolitan monopolist. moon-man night-walker, gypsy. morris-pike sixteenth century weapon, said to have had a Moorish origin. morrow-mass first mass of the day. muffling-cheat napkin. muggill beadle. mummy medical preparation originally extracted from the substance with which mummies were embalmed. myrabolan dried fruit, formerly in repute for its astringent properties (Stanford Dict). nab a head. nab-cheat a hat or cap. nase drunken. nappy fresh, strong, "heady" (E.D.D.) morris-pike sixteenth century weapon, said to have had a Moorish origin. Neapolitan scab, scurf, etc. the pox. neat's leather oxhide. neeze sneeze. neezing-powder taken to cause sneezing. new-cut a card game. niggling venery; the word is said to have died, except in literary usage, by 1610. nigh to approach. nip a cutpurse. nip a bung, to to cut a purse. noble a gold coin minted in several values in sixteenth century. nose gent a nun. novel(s) news. novem, novem-quinque, novum a game at dice; the principal throws are 4 and 5. Five or six persons play. Numans, Newmans Newgate Market, oak he that standeth to watch in high law (Greene). one-and-thirty a round (?) game at cards, said to have resembled vingt-et-un. ordinary eating-house supplying a set meal. Some London ordinaries were notorious gaming houses. ought owed. pad soft padded saddle. pad road. padder highway robber. pair of cards a pack. palliard vagrant beggar (wearing a patched cloak). paltry, peltry rubbish, worthless stuff. pannam bread. pantofles slippers; to be upon one's teller i.e. tehon, a 6d. or is. piece. texted letters letters in an engrossed document. throng crowded. tib (of the buttery) goose. tine prong, spike. tinkard tinker. tip to give. tire attire. tire (of a bird of prey) to feed on, tear at. togman(s) coat or cloak. toll-booth office and lock-up in markets for the detention of defaulters and others. toiler toil-collector. tour to see, look, peep. trace way, path. tracer one who follows up traces, a detective. trade up to train up. traffic whore. train to draw on. trammel hobble for tying up a horse. treacher a cheat. tricker thieves' instrument for forcing windows and cutting metal. trimming the trick of changing gold for silver, getting away with both. trine to go; to hang. Trine to the cheats , to be hanged. trining-cheats gallows. Trinidado Trinidad tobacco. triumph public procession, pageant, tilting match. truandise idleness, vagabondage. truchman interpreter. trug light woman. trugging-house brothel. trump game resembling whist. truss to pack close, fasten up. trussed (of a horse) well-knit. tumbler one employed to draw a person into a swindler's net. unbolish abolish. uneath scarcely, hardly. upright-man a sturdy fellow; one of the aristocracy of the vagabond world. upsy-Frieze excessively, in the Frisian fashion. vade to go away. vail to lower, stoop, bow. vantage, with the with a little over. vaulting-house brothel. venery lechery. venny to thrust or wound in swordplay. verse to introduce oneself to a ranger. verser cheat, cozener; is one of a group of sharpers and poses as the well-to-do friend of the taker-up (q.v.). vie and revie to vie is to hazard a stake on a card; to revie (by the opponent) is to cover the first stake with a larger; to revie again is to raise the original stake. vigliacco rascal. vincent victim of bowling-alley cheats. voider one who clears the remains of a meal from the table. vouchsafe to grant or condescend graciously. wanion, with a with a vengeance. walking mort vagrant unmarried woman travelling with a male companion. wapping venery. wapping-mort whore. warp curber's look-out man. warren victim of ferret-hunter (q.v.). washing-ball cake of soap. washman a kind of palliard (q.v.). weasand-pipe windpipe. ween to suppose, imagine. welted fringed. western pug a bargee on a Thames craft above London. westward, to be carried to be taken to Tyburn gallows. whet to urge on. whid a word; to speak. whip-jack beggar who pretends to be a sailor, using a forged licence to travel. white money silver money. white wool name for the silver coin stolen in the trick of trimming (q.v.). Whittington Newgate. whittled drunk. win penny. winch (of a horse) to start, kick out. with cord of twisted willow. wood mad. woodcock simpleton. woodpecker card- or dice-player's confederate who hands by and bets. wrester lock-picking instrument. yarrum milk. yede went. Home
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www.myspace.com/fionaapple MySpace.com | Home The Web MySpace Help | SignUp Home | Browse | Search | Invite | Rank | Mail | Blog | Favorites | Forum | Groups | Events | Games | Music | Classifieds Videos | Directory | Search | Top Artists | Shows | Music Forums | Music Classifieds | Artist Signup Fiona Apple Rock / Alternative / Other "new album in stores now" United States Profile Views: 531953 Last Login: 12/14/2005 View more pics Contacting Fiona Apple MySpace URL: http://www.myspace.com/fionaapple Fiona Apple General Info Member Since July 18, 2004 Band Website Fiona-Apple.com Band Members SIGN ME UP FOR THE FIONA APPLE EMAIL LIST! 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(U.S.) Wales Western Sahara Yemen Zambia Zimbabwe Other ZIP/Postal Code PRIVACY POLICY Submit Record Label Epic Records Type of Label Major Fiona Apple's Latest Blog Entry [ Subscribe to this Blog ] VOTE FOR EXTRAORDINARY MACHINE! ( view more ) "O' SAILOR" VIDEO PREMIERE ( view more ) Catch Fiona on MTV's 10 Spot Drop ( view more ) MEET FIONA IN LOS ANGELES! ( view more ) WATCH ARCHIVE FOOTAGE FROM BENEFIT CONCERT ( view more ) [ View All Blog Entries ] About Fiona Apple NEW 'FAST AS YOU CAN' LIVE Watch video of Fiona performing "Fast As You Can" captured at her recent Virgin Megastore appearance in New York City. RealVideo | QuickTime WindowsMedia : 56k 100k 300k fiona apple the long awaited new album extraordinary machine in stores october 4 words and music by fiona apple produced by mike elizondo co-produced by brian kehew ------------------------------------------ Extraordinary Machine is available as a regular CD and a DualDisc. The DualDisc DVD side includes: The Entire album in Enhanced LPCM Stereo Brand-new videos for "Not About Love" and "Parting Gift (live)," never before released Live performances of 5 songs filmed at the club Largo in Los Angeles, including "Fast As You Can" and "Paper Bag" Behind-the-scenes footage Click here to pre-order the DualDisc. Click here to pre-order the CD. ------------------------------------------ "PARTING GIFT" VIDEO PREMIERE Watch the new video for Fiona Apple's "Parting Gift" at Yahoo! Music . Download "O' Sailor" and "Parting Gift" at iTunes! ------------------------------------------ Acclaimed artist Fiona Apple has completed her highly anticipated third album Extraordinary Machine and it will be released by Epic Records on October 4, 2005. Extraordinary Machine, produced by Mike Elizondo (Dr. Dre, Eminem and 50 Cent) and co-produced by Brian Kehew, contains twelve new tracks from this groundbreaking artist. "Now that my album is finally finished, I am very, very excited to have people hear what we did I am so proud of it, and all of us who worked on it." says Fiona Apple. Fiona Apple established herself as a visionary singer/songwriter at the age of nineteen with her debut album Tidal in 1996. This stunning album went on to earn her a Grammy Award in 1998 for Best Female Rock Vocal Performance establishing her as an uncompromising and original artist gaining intensely loyal fans all over the world . Fionas second album, When the Pawn..was released in 1999 showcasing Fionas edgy and elegant musical genius. Fiona Apple's highly touted albums and captivating videos have earned her numerous accolades from music fans and the music industry alike including two MTV Music Video Awards and two Grammy nominations and sales of over 5 million albums around the world. Fiona Apple's Friend Space Fiona Apple has 58814 friends. Lake Tahoe & H2 Economy Michael CELESTTIANI Sober is the New Drunk Mark Gil Hey Look! It's Andy :) View All of Fiona Apple's Friends Fiona Apple'sFriends Comments Displaying 50 of 9537 comments ( View/Edit All Comments ) Alexis Hadefi Jan 11, 2006 09:25 AM Hey there ! Happy New Year ... The Peel Prod website is now online. It include Sounds, Photos, Videos, words and many more... http://www.peelprod.com Let me know !!! I hope you will enjoy it. Take care. Other Peoples Children OPC Jan 11, 2006 08:48 AM sounding good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lionel Jan 11, 2006 07:31 AM Keeping me sane one song at a time. Lisa Divine Jan 11, 2006 03:41 AM I'm absolutely loving the new album. It is so fantastic. XOXO danny Jan 10, 2006 08:23 PM i love your cd i been listening to it all week JOHANNA Jan 10, 2006 07:52 PM !!!!! hEY FIONA FANS !!!!!!! I have entered a poster contest can you PLEASEEE VOTE FOR ME its fast, only a few seconds... Heres the link.... http://www.sonypictures.com/movies/silenthill/postercontest/vote/vote_popup.php?imgId=1232 for more info go to www.welcometosilenthill.com Thank Youuuuu!! JO Ana Logic Jan 10, 2006 06:44 PM Fiona, Your new album is heaps good. Totally falling in love with it. (You definatly grow as an artist) ~ J ~ kinky lover Jan 10, 2006 02:46 PM your probably very busy but i just wanted to say thanks for adding me. you are a true artist that is raw and fresh with no nonsense and i admire for that. talk to you later. Mark Foster Jan 10, 2006 01:36 PM you are a pioneer among female artists. reina Jan 10, 2006 11:48 AM Boo! ...i wonder who really reads your comments. (I can't find your album dammit. ) Oh and if you do, hi , come to norway or sweden, yeah? sarah Jan 10, 2006 11:11 AM i would love more than anything on earth to put please please please on my myspace... please, please, please add it to the play list??? Joshua Jan 10, 2006 10:02 AM cant wait to see you in louisville. Master Kirk Jan 10, 2006 01:23 AM Hey, Fiona! I'm definitely looking forward to seeing you perform live at the Arco in Sacramento. My girlfriend bought me some Coldplay tickets as a Christmas present. I was quite excited when I found out that you were opening for them. See you on the 30th. Sincerely, Kirk Siobhan Jan 9, 2006 09:49 PM hi IceQueen Jan 9, 2006 09:01 PM i cant even describe to you my day... i just want you to know that i am pretty sure your music saved my life today thanks paul jessen Jan 9, 2006 08:04 PM Hey Fiona Thanks for getting back to me. I know you're real busy. Aren't we all :) And thanks for the compliment too. I have to say I wasn't sure that you were gonna like the new music. I'm glad you did, but let's be for real. You're so much better than I am. How can you say that? I know what you mean though. And I appreciate the sentiment. Anyway, go easy on yourself, kid. You'll get there someday. Just keep on pluckin' and truckin'. Your "bro", Paul The Underground Millionaires Militia Jan 9, 2006 05:53 PM On the edge of your seat....mobbin' thru the bay....rollin' thru sausalito...ridin' low lows on regals....comin' off the cliffs of mt. tamalpais.....hang on.....grippin' corners with 275's on the aston martin.....a bond like character....black, handsome, nice clothes...nice babe....jump into the aston martin....open the door for the babe to let her in...she's in a red dress....revealing...very sexy....you can see her gun holster as she gets in the car... she's strapped wit' a fo fo on the hip...sexy, dangerous...his only weapon is his name....he hops in the car after opening her door.....he's at the top of a hill in sausalito overlooking the bay....alcatraz in the background.... they peel out....find out his little brother is in the back seat as they take corners mobbin' down the hill in sausalito....that's him screaming in the background.... they hit corners....she gives him a light...he lights up the cigar while still mobbin' hittin' these corners....the 275's grip this bitch like crazy....soft rubber....it gets no better....camera pans to the diamond necklace hanging from the rear view mirror with The UMM logo and insignia Nik Freitas Jan 9, 2006 05:46 PM take us on tour with you!! nadia Jan 9, 2006 01:33 PM did anybody find my pruning equipment yet? just checking. with love. brooke Jan 9, 2006 12:50 PM That didn't work out quite like I had hoped ...... brooke Jan 9, 2006 12:50 PM <a href="http://www.glitterlove.com" target=_blank><img src="http://pic.piczo.com/img/i111675983_53748.gif" border="0" alt="Glitterlove.com - Glitter Graphics, MySpace Graphics, MySpace Videos, MySpace layouts"></a> Anissa Jan 9, 2006 11:48 AM I love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sarah Tracey Jan 9, 2006 11:11 AM "I think he let me down when he didn't disappoint me..." Are those not the most wise words ever sung???? brooke Jan 9, 2006 10:37 AM <a href="http://www.glitterlove.com" target=_blank><img src="http://pic.piczo.com/img/i111675983_53748.gif" border="0" alt="Glitterlove.com - Glitter Graphics, MySpace Graphics, MySpace Videos, MySpace layouts"></a> I wish my lips were this color Trip Device Jan 9, 2006 10:26 AM Hey fiona! Haven't hung out in a while, have you checked out our new stuff? Our album is all over, tell us what you think. STEVe www.cdbaby.com/tripdevice2 www.itunes.com ANtoNiA Jan 9, 2006 07:50 AM I LOVE YOUR SONGS SO MUCH!!!!! Gaber Jan 9, 2006 07:45 AM ..... i wish you a happy new year and eid mubarak toooooooooooooo salam Neecie Jan 9, 2006 04:45 AM Hey girl you rock. I'm just dropping in to say hi and to tell you that you REALLY REALLY REALLY need to come back to INdy for a concert because INdy's boring and I need a good concert........Plus you rock. Jen Kvistad Jan 8, 2006 11:35 PM fiona, i doubt you read this shit but i just want to say you are awesome. i've been listening to you since i was 12. Hillary Jan 8, 2006 09:06 PM I CAN'T WAIT to see you on tour with Coldplay in Tampa!! Z. Jan 8, 2006 05:25 PM I love Fiona Apple. Mark Foster Jan 8, 2006 03:10 PM i love you. check out my tunes and let me know what you think. thanks, mark Peter Jan 8, 2006 02:20 PM fiona I will see you on the 3rd in Vegas!! so excited! yay lady disdain Jan 8, 2006 11:39 AM man i wish i could be friends with Jon Brion PinkFuzzyJacket Jan 8, 2006 03:52 AM i cant stop listening to the new cd!!! and when i'm not listening to it i'm singing it in my head!! YOU'RE IN MY HEAD!!! take care sweetheart :) THE WATERMARKS Jan 8, 2006 01:09 AM hell0 /// just wanted to say thanks for being our friend. we really appreciate it. /// enjoy - THE WATERMARKS The Nose Picker Jan 7, 2006 09:26 PM I closed my eyes while he was kissing me once... more than once... Anita Star Jan 7, 2006 07:21 PM You are my hero. Thank you for creating music that has helped me deal with my mother's suicide. Your music distracts me and keeps my mind thinking about the low life, scum bags that have passed in and out of my life. This is something else to think about other than the fact that she is gone... A better negative to dwell on, though. The one you present is something I relate to all too well. I cannot believe how amazing you are. I wish you had an instrumental CD available because I would love to perform by singing 'Paper Bag' and 'The Child Is Gone' in this years pageant. Unfortunately I have not been able to find it online anywhere. Thank you for showing me that art is still in music and real talent still exists. XOXOXO Ojas Jan 7, 2006 05:09 PM My brother just came back from Vietnam (he was teaching English over there) and he brought back the original Extraordinary Machine... both versions are amazing either way- xooxox Kat Jan 7, 2006 11:46 AM <CENTER> It's gettin' pretty chilly out there, Fiona... <img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v402/pocketlightbulb/lil_Rae_by_Nocturnal_Devil.jpg" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com"> Steph Jan 6, 2006 10:08 PM "ONCE YOU'VE BEEN HIT, YOU HAVE TO HIT 8 PRETTY GIRLS. IF YOU GET HIT AGAIN YOU'LL KNOW YOU'RE REALLY PRETTY! IF YOU BREAK THE CHAIN, YOU'LL HAVE UGLYNESS FOR 10 YEARS LIKE ALL OUR IMITATORS. SO HIT PRETTY GIRLS TO LET THEM KNOW THEY'RE PRETTY" Christine Anderson Jan 6, 2006 08:32 PM CHRISTINE ANDERSON In the summer of 2005, Christine Anderson went shedding. That's what the old bluesmen would call it when they locked themselves in a dark shed, alone, and played for months without stopping... until one day they came out of there a completely different person, and a player to reckon with. After six months spent scribbling lyrics and weeping at the piano, Christine emerged from the shed to record Live Summer Session 2005. Featuring Christine's passionate performance of her 18 newest songs, this highly improvised live album was recorded in the artist's living room, LIVE, in a single take. Begun with six song outlines and a foot high stack of unfinished sketches, Christine composes as the tape rolls. The song "Over Now" was a complete impromptu surprise, composed entirely in real time as the recording captured its actual creation. The same is true of many of these songs, including the solo piano pieces. They are all pure on-the-spot impromptu compositions. www.christineanderson.net Billy Jan 6, 2006 07:28 PM i love how i think you are and i adore your music ...... Monkey's Blue Jan 6, 2006 03:24 PM Fiona and the gang "Hope you have a good weekend" Anissa Jan 6, 2006 01:28 PM Fiona!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Techno Squirrels Jan 6, 2006 12:24 PM You ROCK!!! Lisa :) Techno Squirrels brooke Jan 6, 2006 11:48 AM To add on to that last comment, in no way do I mean she doesn't care. I konw she loves loves loves her fans but I think she isn't a computer gal. Just my thoughts - they don't really matter. brooke Jan 6, 2006 11:47 AM I post as many comments as anyone else on here - but I honestly doubt she ever reads any of this. When I heard a few interviews and stuff she talks about these sites like she's never seen them - thats just my guess. Like when there was that "Free Fiona" thing. BUTT, I still love you Fiona - just incase you do happen to read this. Anyone going to the Feb 26 concert?? Thirteen Seconds Jan 6, 2006 10:03 AM Come check out our track 'One Angel Dead'. Jennifer Coomer Jan 6, 2006 10:01 AM extraordinary machine is my favorite album of 2005...by far...for sure. Add Comment About | FAQ | Terms | Privacy | Safety Tips | Contact Myspace | Promote! | Advertise ©2003-2006 MySpace.com All Rights Reserved.
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www.myspace.com/theakas MySpace.com | Home The Web MySpace Help | SignUp Home | Browse | Search | Invite | Rank | Mail | Blog | Favorites | Forum | Groups | Events | Games | Music | Classifieds Videos | Directory | Search | Top Artists | Shows | Music Forums | Music Classifieds | Artist Signup The A.K.A.s Punk / Rock / Indie " Dancehall Fight Music for All Ages" United States Profile Views: 206724 Last Login: 01/11/2006 View more pics Contacting The A.K.A.s MySpace URL: http://www.myspace.com/theakas The A.K.A.s General Info Member Since November 21, 2003 Band Website theAKAs.com Band Members WE ARE THE A.K.A.S AND WE ARE EVERYWHERE! Influences THE A.K.A.s White Doves & Smoking Guns CD BUY NOW Sounds Like With their full-length debut, White Doves & Smoking Guns, New Yorks TheA.K.A.s blast out of the gate with a super-loud mix of mussed-up guitars,hedonistic organ and a rhythmic abandon.their exhilarating sound and message make The A.K.A.s a smoking gun. Alternative Press More incendiary than The Clash and as far left as the Gang of Four, The A.K.A.s are the sort of band that boasts it will paint the streets with fire and toast the bourgeoisie with kerosene. Revolver Its the spirit of the New York Dolls and New York adoptees The Dead Boyswith modern production values and the nihilistic debauchery replaced with a healthy revolutionary streak. This is punk rock. This is rock n roll. This isf**king ace, so go out and make them famous Kerrang! Record Label Fueled By Ramen Type of Label Indie Upcoming Shows ( view all ) Feb 3 2006 6:00P Bloomfield Ave. Cafe Montclair, NJ Mar 14 2006 6:00P Gothic Theatre Englewood, CO Mar 15 2006 6:00P Club Sound (In The Venue) Salt Lake City, UT Mar 16 2006 6:00P Big Easy Boise, ID Mar 17 2006 6:30P El Carazon Seattle , WA Mar 18 2006 6:30P Loveland Portland, OR Mar 19 2006 6:00P Slim's San Francisco, CA Mar 20 2006 6:00P House of Blues Anaheim, CA Mar 24 2006 6:00P Henry Fonda Theatre Los Angeles, CA Mar 25 2006 7:00P Soma San Diego, CA Mar 26 2006 5:30P The Clubhouse Music Venue Tempe, AZ Mar 27 2006 7:00P Sunshine Theater Albuquerque, NM Mar 29 2006 8:00P Emo's Austin, TX Mar 30 2006 7:00P The Engine Room Houston, TX Apr 4 2006 7:00P Bricktown Live Oklahoma City, OK Apr 5 2006 6:30P Pops Sauget, IL Apr 6 2006 6:30P Bogart's Cincinnati, OH Apr 7 2006 6:00P Logan Square Auditorium Chicago, IL Apr 8 2006 6:00P St. Andrew's Hall Detroit, MI Apr 9 2006 6:00P Agora Ballroom Cleveland, OH Apr 11 2006 6:00P Wonderland Ballroom Revere, MA Apr 12 2006 6:00P Theatre of Living Arts Philadelphia, PA Apr 13 2006 7:00P Irving Plaza New York, NY Apr 14 2006 4:30P 9:30 Club Washington, DC The A.K.A.s's Latest Blog Entry [ Subscribe to this Blog ] Happy New Year Everyone from The A.K.A.s! ( view more ) Thanks for an incredible year! ( view more ) Happy Holidays: two gifts for you! ( view more ) News Flash: Church in NJ Offers To "Convert" Homosexuals. WTF? ( view more ) The A.K.A.s "holiday" mix. ( view more ) [ View All Blog Entries ] About The A.K.A.s To play the video, you must have QuickTime installed. As the City that never sleeps chews up and spits out wave after wave of trend and status upgrade, The A.K.A.s stand in the wake of Hipster Babylon with brick in hand. Danceable and defiant punk rock rage and roll best describes this tireless and eclectic group of art rebels as they spread their brand of Dancehall Fight Music from city to city and continent to continent. If Pump Up the Volume was a band, not a movie... it would be The A.K.A.s. Want to help spread the word about The A.K.A.s? Cut and paste the code in the box below and insert it into the "about me" or "who i'd like to meet" section of your myspace profile, or anything else that is HTML compatible. And like that, you're very own A.K.A.s Myspace Video player! To play the video, you must have QuickTime installed. Join The A.K.A.s Street Team! Fueled By Ramen Check out the other Fueled By Ramen Records bands on MySpace. The Academy Is... Cute Is What We Aim For Days Away Fall Out Boy Forgive Durden Gym Class Heroes The Hush Sound Kane Hodder Less Than Jake October Fall Panic! At the Disco Paramore Punchline Mailing List: Email: CONTACT THE A.K.A.S :THE A.K.A.S P.O. BOX 302TUCKERTON, NJ 08087 The A.K.A.s's Friend Space The A.K.A.s has 26810 friends. Agent Darkness : only the coolest ever. DAS Agent Awesome Addie TSS Joanie Loves Chachi Daniel the A.K.A.s Fan A Hooker With A Heart Of Gold for the A.K.A.s Holy Shit! Its Conor Brown View All of The A.K.A.s's Friends The A.K.A.s'sFriends Comments Displaying 50 of 4006 comments ( View/Edit All Comments ) RED EYE SEAMUS Jan 11, 2006 11:00 AM Happy 2006! RED EYE SEAMUS is "Progressive Power Fusion" ♥[Mallo]HBSP Jan 11, 2006 01:12 AM You make my heart beat fast =] akas=fabulous. ...self...made... Jan 10, 2006 09:41 PM The Girl at the Rockshow she said what Jan 10, 2006 08:06 PM gooo aka;s good band I'm not Obssessed, I'm in Lovee<3 Jan 10, 2006 07:39 PM Dear Josie. I think you saw this before... But it's the shirt I made. Joanie Loves Chachi Jan 10, 2006 09:47 AM YAY we got our tickets last week for the cleveland show! :) i think, since you covered the misfits last time...you should cover the seX pistols. Elisabeth Jan 10, 2006 08:34 AM virgina loves you--come see us in norfolk. You Look Like I Need A Drink Jan 10, 2006 04:20 AM so, when is this dvd coming out? i've been wanting to see this thing since cinco de mayo! ps: see you in cleveland. i'm bringing a car full of people from ohio and pennsylvania :) emma♥never liked you anyways Jan 10, 2006 03:59 AM come to ontario....as in now. come right now. it'll be great, we can have a slumber party and gossip and paint out our nails. or not. just come to ontario and we'll see. Katy Jan 10, 2006 02:36 AM So the Launchpad recently invested in a projector and has been projecting the flyers for their upcoming shows and Sunshine Theater shows on the wall. At the show tonight, as they were cycling though, I kept getting excited seeing Reggie and the Full Effect and Punchline, both of which are gonna be before I move... And then I'd see the flyer for the show you guys are playing with Anti-Flag and even though I'm not even gonna be here for it, I was still saying, "Man I'm so excited about that. ...oh, wait." I actually did that a few times tonight. I'm not sure Albuquerque's ready for you guys yet. Don't rock that crowd TOO hard, OK? ;) bend your arms to look like wings (be careful!) Jan 9, 2006 10:03 PM Come back to England! And bring Anti-Flag with ya too! xxx tHe sKeLeTor BizNitchS Jan 9, 2006 09:29 PM YOUR MUSIC MAKES ME WANNA START A RIOT AT SCHOOL , THXS GUYS! [X]MOVE ALONG[X] Jan 9, 2006 09:05 PM You guys aren't coming to ATL? :[ that SUCKS... no band is coming to here.. everything is rent Jan 9, 2006 08:50 PM no one ever comes to roanoke. the end. Z Phantom Z Jan 9, 2006 08:48 PM Z Phantom Z wishes you would make it down to Florida... Ol' man Miller.Science. Jan 9, 2006 08:43 PM Glad to see ya'll er comin out west, even better that I gets the free tix from H.O.B. Denim demons represent. Mariah Jan 9, 2006 08:15 PM you guys aren't coming to CT this time =[ Brittney Mo! Jan 9, 2006 08:09 PM I'm happy to see that yall are coming back to Texas. I'll hopefully see yall in Houston. Oh, and Miranda and I have pics we need to send to yall of us in our super awesome jackets we bought from Josie this Summer. Yes that should've been done a long time ago, but sometimes we have our sucky moments and that was a big one. haha. So sorry about that. Soooon. :o) ♥ Brittney dying from love &.... hate Jan 9, 2006 07:48 PM yesss youe coming to detroit with the casualties and anti-flag how fuckin sweet is that! im for sure gonna be there! Jan 9, 2006 07:18 PM So like My friend Dano and I are making a collage over the AKA's on her wall. From like all of your shows we've been to. Hahaha. It's gonna be pretty sweet! We'll take pictures Brandon Jan 9, 2006 07:12 PM its not a full US tour you dont come here AAAAAHHHH! Get your asses to louisville, ky!!!!!!!! Paula Jan 9, 2006 06:31 PM WOOOO!!! I came on your space with the intention of leaving you a comment about this SWEET AKA'S sweat shirt I'm gonna make, and hopefully get signed during your show in NYC, cuz I'm def. gonna be there. THEN I noticed your gonna be at the Bloomfield ave cafe n stage and I lept from my seat and yelled HOORAY!! I'm serious. SEE YOU THEN!!!! score.5 where is you COURTNEY tonight Jan 9, 2006 05:33 PM HEY WHATS UP YOU GUYS ARE AWSOME BEEN LISTENING TO YOU FOR ABOUT AN HOUR NOW LOL YOU GUYS SHOULD COMMENT ME LOL OK THANKS BYE Jammaster G Jan 9, 2006 02:53 PM WHOOOOOO!!! THe AKAs rock. you're so weird and wonderful *Slinkie* Jan 9, 2006 01:01 PM My first show/concert ever was the MSI show in philli and you guys opened for them... it was the best experience of my life and you guys and awesome... One of you also signed my friend nikki's chest... well guess what ... it is now a tatoo... we left the show and he boyfriend is a tatoo artist and that night she got it tatooed.... you guys are awesome and i plan on seeing you guys the next chance i get... Antithesis Records ™ Jan 9, 2006 04:28 AM Thanks for the add, Good Luck with all your upcoming projects. Antithesis Records Jesse Shane Wilder Jan 9, 2006 04:09 AM My friend saw you open for MSI you guys are amazing... SHANES WORDS OF WISDOM!! Check out my wisdom blog! Elizabeth Jan 9, 2006 12:56 AM you guys rock! woo whoo! Shane Jan 8, 2006 10:48 PM XXX from tha U.K. XXshaneXX The Devil Made Me Do It Jan 8, 2006 10:01 PM i love you guys, so play at starland again The Turd Ferguson House Jan 8, 2006 07:26 PM If your ever touing around Vancouver, BC and want to play a show in Abbotsford, let me know Stephanie Jan 8, 2006 05:36 PM hey. u guys rock.........really u do. Aimee Jan 8, 2006 03:33 PM st.andrews april 8th. i wanna party DREW SUXX Jan 8, 2006 12:31 PM Happy new year and all that junk. Drew Field Theory Jan 7, 2006 10:42 PM we love you!!! ♥>>Brittany<<♥ Jan 7, 2006 09:33 PM hey!!! omfg you guys are soooooo awesome!!! raji Jan 7, 2006 05:52 PM hey guys, if you dig yourselves....check me out!!!!!!! <33Like.WOAH!♥ Jan 7, 2006 02:14 PM Hey dudes!! ♥ You guys are awesome! RoCk rEnAiSsAnCe Jan 7, 2006 11:37 AM Hey dudes that was a damn quick acceptance!! great stuff!!! Laced with Nitroglycerin♥ Jan 7, 2006 01:35 AM hey would you guys be willing to wear my frineds shirts * he has a small clothing line* at your shows, we all really love you! check them out please www.myspace.com/roughdraftclothing ♥ p.s. come to florida!! Petrov Jan 6, 2006 09:00 PM Hey guys i need my A.K.A.s fix So you should come back stop in Buffalo, NY on or around April 17th, cuz that would be awesome I promise more people and better homemade tshirts Pete the Meat Brittany Jan 6, 2006 05:31 PM heyyy omg i recognize you from warped tour. lol aww!! whoo rock on. Jan 6, 2006 03:51 PM i cant wait to see you at st.andrews hall this year!!! i love your music and have gotten a few friends into liking it too hahahaha i love you guys!! Sierra Jan 6, 2006 01:56 PM I heard you guys were playing at my friend Becky's house. That's pretty cool-her party room is perfect for that. Her momma can cook too! It'll be packed. SIERRA♥ ~♥Crystal♥~ Jan 6, 2006 12:34 PM I swear if i met any of you id ... well lets not go there... but itd be good... ~Crystal~ Billie Jan 5, 2006 06:55 PM don't forget im open for comments and i'll comment you back! rock on cheech Jan 5, 2006 11:59 AM Even Pugs Terry Schiavo and the Chilifingers Jan 5, 2006 01:21 AM I can't fucking wait for the tour with Anti-Flag. Falls When Sober Jan 4, 2006 09:08 PM Thanks for adding me! I think that your music is awesome. Alicia The Baboon Eyes Jan 4, 2006 05:47 PM THANKS 4 ADD! NOW TAKE A PEAK AT OUR BABOON EYES! Add Comment About | FAQ | Terms | Privacy | Safety Tips | Contact Myspace | Promote! | Advertise ©2003-2006 MySpace.com All Rights Reserved.
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Rhino -- I Need MySpace: Confessions of a Validation Junkie - Rzine # 666 All Products Music Videos Articles Columns Reviews NEW! Podcasts Press Releases Tour Dates Rhino Recommends Newsletter New Releases Upcoming Releases Rhino’s Finest Gift Ideas NEW! Gift Certificates Top Sellers Contests Rolling Stone 500 CDs DVD/Video Rhino Handmade Cellphone Tones & Pix Boxed Sets Vinyl Dual Disc | DVD-A | SACD Last Days Herbie, Fully Loaded Cinderella Man more Limited-edition collectibles and unearthed treasures Once a month, we let you know what’s up Watch old videos ’til you’re blue in the face [5] comments I Need MySpace: Confessions of a Validation Junkie Don't Kill Me Now, Part II by Sadiq Barnabas It's half-three in the a.m. of a Wednesday night (or Thursday morning, if you count midnight as the transition from one day to the next, though I am of the philosophy that it's not tomorrow until you go to sleep and wake up, which means it's still yesterday, which is really today, but I digress)—do you know where your whomever is? Chances are they're trolling about on MySpace.com, answering emails, sending friend requests to scantily-clad bimbos (who probably gangstered their profile pictures from porn sites), posting comments on the pages of not-so-secret crushes, and stalking the pages of those for whom they are harboring all manner of psychopathic inclinations. Sounds scary? It is. But mostly because you know exactly what I'm talkin' about, and it's weirding you out. Hey, don't trip, it weirds me out too. And have I got a story, morning glory. I'll get to it. Eventually. This, in essence, is a follow-up to a feature that I had written last year for Rhino.com. Apparently you kids grooved on it in a big way, and I thank you. I actually just revisited the original to try to put it in context, and couldn't figure it out. Evidently, my love-hate relationship with this weapon of mass social deconstruction continues to this moment (I had called it a weapon of mass social construction in my first installment, but now I know better). It's not so much that MySpace severely fucks with my head—even though it absolutely does (and many others' too, as I have been relieved and appalled to discover when comparing notes and confessing reconnaissance missions that are mad-genius in nature and alarming even to myself). Rather, it's that the instant I step into MySpace, I am lost in the vortex for 8 or 10 hours. And I just don't have that kind of time. Some people log in and out in a matter of minutes. Not moi. I have been ignoring friend requests and messages for two weeks. Just like laundry, the longer you let it pile up, the longer it's gonna take you to get through. I can't remember the last time I signed on to MySpace or Friendster, but we're about to find out. Friendster, though the pioneering precursor to MySpace, has long since been eclipsed by the trendier, less geeky, and more sleek MySpace equivalent. But when last I was bitching about these tangled Webs, I had 12 friends and zero comments on my Friendster page. On MySpace, I have 420 friends and 183 comments. Unprocessed friend requests amount to—well, we're about to find out. It's a sick and twisted game of validation, and now that I'm a real playah, I need my fix. Also on my MySpace laundry list: I want to change my headline, post a remembrance about a deceased acquaintance, leave a poem (disguised as a comment) on a guy's page (which means I am gonna out us both to everyone who's clocking either of us, and judging by the however many thousands of profile views on my page, never mind his, this literary act of emotional suicide might not sit well with his royal prissiness, since he's in heavy denial about our deal), and finally read some friends' blogs. They always read mine and post comments, so I feel like a shit for not reciprocating. There seems to be an unspoken social contract of mutual public validation in this bizarro parallel universe. Incidentally, MySpace was recently acquired by Fox. I daresay that the site runs way slower now, a symptom, in my estimation, of the corporate malaise. But never mind that. You gotta wonder why someone is on MySpace in the wee small hours. Coffee and cigarettes? Wine? Recreational pharmaceuticals? Some combo thereof? Admittedly, when I note the time of a certain someone's log-in at, say, the uncivilized hour of 8 a.m., I am confident that he is not in hook-up mode. I exhale a private sigh of relief and carefully set down my shaking wine glass. It takes a wrought-iron constitution to contend with this cybersocial clusterfuck. But to quote Tom Petty, "I keep going back again cuz it's so hard to kick it." I was in the frozen edibles department of Trader Joe's the other night when I heard one overgrown frat guy say to another, "Have you heard of MySpace? I just posted a profile..." I wanted to hear the rest of his bragging rites, but was too hungry and anxious to locate a low-fat burrito, that I didn't have the patience to hear about what would presumably be a recount of some email proposition from some bimbo that inevitably came to naught. And speaking of the plight of the woefully unattached, I have actually responded to MySpace bulletin questionnaires asking, "Are you single?" with the snippy repost, "Would I be here if I had someone better to do?" Not surprisingly, a friend told me that he had to delete his MySpace account because it was "hurting his girlfriend too much." Yes, the semi-anonymity of MySpace affords, um, ladies and gentlemen the opportunity to be the playahs they always wanted to be (a damn noble aspiration, I daresay), causing the sorry-ass downfall or drama-packed implosion of more than one worthwhile romantic relationship due to the nearly-irresistible siren's call of lurid hook-ups and very public displays of validation and more-often-than-not untoward affection. I have recoiled many times from the discovery of such slobberings all over someone's page and/or images, as well as their well-placed droolings in the comments and photo indexes of others. It's my train wreck, and I'll look if I want to. As a validation junky, I need the gigantic fix that everyone else seems to get (even though I pretend I don't), and I don't get nearly enough. Though I'm still waaaaay better looking in person, I have nonetheless been recognized on The Scene by MySpacers, and I still ain't gettin' no love. My friends post accolades for me, but they're my friends, and no doubt secretly pity the lack of adoration, desirability, and pursuedness that are so blatantly in absentia from my MySpace page. It kinda blows. As a writer, I use my powers for good and not for evil (believe it or don't). I am actually in the process of playing a MySpace version of Cyrano de Bergerac in order to acquire some essential information. Woodward and Bernstein would be proud. However, a former friend of mine is not. That's why she's off the A List. Hopefully I will be able to finish this amusing petite vignette and meet all other obligations (including mailing back her DVDs) before the Internet Police take me away. This venerable website has recently posted a MySpace profile—www.myspace.com/rhinorecords. I am going to send a friend request, and then shamelessly pimp my words on Rhino's page. Interestingly, I have witnessed a backlash phenomenon: bands will self-promote on MySpace to their 8,769 "friends," and 20 of them will show up for a gig. That's because everyone is trapped in the MySpace vortex and can't find their way out in time to go anywhere. Or maybe they're not inclined to leave the comfort zone of MySpace. Either way, you don't have to be a card-carrying Mensa member to understand that people are becoming social retards because of it. The bimbos are becoming more embarrassingly aggressive in pouncing on their prey, and the sperm-carriers are becoming exceedingly lazy because they no longer have to try. If you post it, they will come. In fairness, I have seen the MySpace community rally to the cause: impressive turnouts for benefit concerts and memorial services that have been announced there prove that every once in a while people can actually log off and get their asses in gear. Though it's a drag it takes a tragedy to make it so. It's 6 of the clock in the a.m. of a Wednesday night/Thursday morning. Time to waste away again in cyberville... Ah, Friendster.com. I never thought I would feel sorry for a website, but I do. A pop-up window promises changes and improvements. "You said jump, and we did," promise "Your Friends at Friendster." I also feel like a heel forabandoning my page. After all, it was Friendster, not MySpace, that put the asocial cyberwheels in motion. I have 11 friends, two of whom logged on this very night. My profile has been viewed zero times since 09.01.05. I think I last logged on in late December of '03. Yikes. Maybe if I do a search on a couple of Friendsters... Never mind. Time to bounce, kidz; this party is sooooo over. As far MySpace.com: my last log-in was 10 days ago. Not long enough to suit me, I daresay. I have had 6,462 profile views since13 October 2003, when I created my profile, and 182 comments. I have 10 unread messages, 35 friend requests, six new comments, four new image comments, three new blog responses, and countless event invitations. It's high noon, and I've been on MySpace now for six hours. My profile views have jumped to 6,497. My friends list is now 436, as there are many requests I've not yet approved. However, I've done my share of spreading some genuine validation around MySpace, replied to most of my messages, declined three dates, accepted one, and tried to post that bit of priceless poetic genius on a certain someone's page, forgetting that his royal prissiness must approve all comments before they go live. Do you think he will or do you think he won't? Somehow, some way, some time, a vile individual got added as a "friend" to my page. Nonetheless, I know where the delete button is, and I'm not afraid to use it. You may think I'm a hypocrite based on the major hissy fit that was enjoyed by all in my first installment of Don't Kill Me Now . I'm not, though. I've only made a contentious peace with this cyber-phenomenon that has consumed so much of my not-so-free time. At least I'm not one of those people who insist that MySpace is a bunch of bullshit so they can cover their vulnerable asses in the likely event of a cybersocial misfire on the illusion of their popularity. Like anything else, what we do and what we say will impact someone somewhere. The audience is listening, boys and girls. I just stumbled upon a page that has 422,010 "friends" and 130,843 comments. I feel another hissy fit coming on. To make matters much worse, MySpace has added a new feature whereby you can select and order your favorite friends' pix on the front page of your Space. Can you imagine the shit storms brewing, including mine? It doesn't help matters that I remain waaaay better looking in person, as well as a very jealous goddess. And so goes the tale of this nightingale... Let us know what you think. A word about submissions: We post what you give us, so please don't include your email address or any personal info. Your comments reach Rhino, not necessarily the writer, so don't expect a reply from them (or us, see our help section for contact info). We gather and post your submissions in batches, so do expect a short delay. And don't get bent if we edit your comments. We probably won't, but we reserve that right. Comments: i think i can relate. current time: 1:49am. sincerely, -another myspace junkie still stuck in the vortex nice work, sister The boy is the naught. I don't own a myspace. for this exact reason. Anything you can spend six hours of your life on, without developing any real skills or actual human interaction, or even really "having fun", shouldn't be considered part of your daily routine. It's sad to think that real relationships, and real interaction, has been neglected in favour of comments and friends lists. It's not unlike television in that way. Which I also don't watch. but enough about me. f myspace. I am really glad that I do not use myspace. Good luck kicking the habit. -a non-user of myspace The Hate Machine Burns Clean Nine Inch Nails' Trent Reznor Meets Fear and Loathing Halfway Live in L.A. (or Thereabouts) Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival 4/30-5/1/05 Bryan Harvey Remembered Well Rhino Recommends Big Star - In Space Best Of 2005 The Top 20 albums according to Rhino.com contributing writers TBS Tunes Fun Tracks Rhino & TBS Crack Up The Jukebox With TBS Tunes: Fun Tracks Wisecracks Queensrÿche CD REVENGE, ROCK, REDEMPTION -- QUEENSRŸCHE'S OPERATION: MINDCRIME II T. Rex Reissues Pt. 2 Happy Tanx-giving From Rhino Win an Autographed Pixies DVD The Lefsetz Letter In My Life The Lefsetz Letter 2005 Awards The Lefsetz Letter Home Again home :: news & notes :: store :: about rhino :: fun stuff :: help :: my cart :: privacy policy