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CJR Daily: Talkin' 'Bout MySpace Generation You are here: CJR Daily » Talkin' 'Bout MySpace Generation Search CJR Daily. Most Recent Articles. Jan. 09, 2006 Flooding the Zone » Times Dogged About Dog Days Coverage Editor's Note » Down the Rabbit Hole Blog Report » To Be Or Not to Be: Does It Even Matter? Jan. 07, 2006 Big Pharma » Woe, Woe Is Pfizer, Says the Journal Jan. 06, 2006 The Water Cooler » Franklin Foer on the Blogosphere's War on the Media From the Arab Street » Surprise - Palestinians Revile Sharon The Archives. Jan. 08, 2006 Jan. 01, 2006 Dec. 25, 2005 Dec. 18, 2005 Dec. 11, 2005 Dec. 04, 2005 Read CJR . Dec. 07, 2005 - 6:09 PM No News is Big News Talkin' 'Bout MySpace Generation Liz Cox Barrett Last month, BusinessWeek loved baby boomers. We know this because it published a cover story called "Love Those Boomers!" There was a cartoon middle-age man and woman windsurfing across the front of the magazine, illustrating that people between the ages of 49 and 59 have "new attitudes and lifestyles." Marketers, the magazine reported, are having to "rethink the rules for reaching graying customers," and, it seems, "figuring out how to reach the new fiftysomethings takes some effort" because, while some Boomers are approaching retirement age, they aren't all, believe it or not, "just hanging around and playing bingo." In other words: Baby Boomers. There are a lot of them. Corporate America needs to sell to them. It's hard to do, because they don't all act alike . This week, BusinessWeek loves another demographic group. Using the burgeoning popularity of online social networks like MySpace.com as a jumping off point, the magazine's cover story discusses the marketing goldmine (and challenge) that is a generation of tech-savvy teens and twentysomethings. In other words: Generation Y. There are a lot of them. Corporate America needs to sell to them. It's hard to do because, like boomers, they are not monolithic (although you might not know that from reading this article.) Why is this cover-worthy now? Didn't BusinessWeek do their Generation Y cover story way back in 1999? On ( February 15 , to be exact: "Generation Y, Today's Teens --The Biggest Bulge Since the Boomers May Force Marketers to Toss Their Old Tricks.") So what's new? Apart, that is, from the touchstones of "cool" that must inevitably be included in BusinessWeek stories like this (a list of "Cool Stuff" that accompanied the 1999 piece included Motorola Flex Pagers and The Spice Girls). One thing that's new is we can't call them Gen Y. That's so 1999. Let's call them "The MySpace Generation," as BusinessWeek does on its cover, or better still, "Generation @," the cringe-inducing moniker BusinessWeek 's Jessi Hempel and Paula Lehman roll out mid-story. ("You have just entered the world of what you might call Generation @," Hempl and Lehman write, where young people like the one in our anecdotal lede are "online more than ever" and "use many forms of media simultaneously" -- IMing while listening to iTunes while socializing at "virtual hangouts" like Myspace.com with the TV running in the background.) And once you've coined a new nickname or two -- voila! -- you can take a story that merits a page or two inside the magazine (which was how BusinessWeek treated its last Hey, online social networks are really popular with the young people -- especially this MySpace.com thingy! piece six months ago) and blow it up into a cover story. But renaming Gen Y "The MySpace Generation"? Kind of bold. BusinessWeek must be pretty convinced that this MySpace.com thingy is here to stay, unlike those silly 90s Internet companies (alas, we came up empty in our search for a BusinessWeek cover from that decade dubbing Baby Boomers "The Pets.com Generation"). Well, let's see. Hempel and Lehman report that "the phenomenon of these exploding [online social] networks has companies clamoring to be a part of the new social landscape" and that "Silicon Valley venture capitalists" are "pouring millions" into them. But "what's not yet clear," the duo continues, "is whether this is a dot-com era replay, with established companies and investors sinking huge sums into fast-growth startups with no viable business models" -- and, we'd add, with the business press cheerleading it right along. -- Post a comment CJR Daily generally does not edit or remove comments, but we reserve the right to do so if a post is obscene, unlawful, or otherwise contrary to the terms of use set forth in our full legal disclaimer . We also ask users to please keep posts to the topic at hand; those wandering far afield or appearing to be spam may be deleted. Name: Email Address: URL: Remember personal info? Comments:(you may use HTML tags for style) Email This Article Email this entry to (friend's email): Your email address: Message (optional): Related Articles » Woe, Woe Is Pfizer, Says the Journal » Two Thumbs Down For Coverage of the Movie Industry » The Journal Provides Yet Another Senseless Survey » One Old House Tells a Sad, but Good, Story » Why Are Journalists So Rich? » New York Times Discovers Another Trend - Far, Far Away, and Seven Years Too Late » GM Hits Rock Bottom, Detroit's Reporters Never Leave Cubicles » Stock Traders Say Grinch to Steal Christmas, Reporters Write it Down » Barred From Meeting, Reporter Gets Mad » Post Gives Up, Admits Stock Market Utterly Defies Explanation » A Top Speed Race to Report the Numbers - and Reuters Crashes » The British Biz Press Digs Up Some Good Stories on Agricultural Policy Recent Articles by Liz Cox Barrett Times Dogged About Dog Days Coverage Down the Rabbit Hole To Be Or Not to Be: Does It Even Matter? Woe, Woe Is Pfizer, Says the Journal Franklin Foer on the Blogosphere's War on the Media Surprise - Palestinians Revile Sharon Anonymice Plague the Shallow, the Vacuous and the Vain, Too "World News Tonight" Fails to Implode, Critics Disappointed "If Your Mother Says She Loves You, Check It Out" Is the NSA Wiretapping Reporters? -- Editor's Picks. Dec. 27, 2005 The Times and the Post Go Silent On Us Why won't the papers discuss the meetings they had with the president about whether to publish two major stories? Dec. 16, 2005 In Defense of Wikipedia At the end of the day, Wikipedia looks less like the reputation-munching monster it's being portrayed as, and more like the future of information in the Internet age. Blog Report. Jan. 09, 2006 To Be Or Not to Be: Does It Even Matter? Who is JT Leroy? A critically acclaimed young fiction writer noted for his "stark portrayal of child prostitution and drug use" -- or a cruel composite hoax? Jan. 05, 2006 Is the NSA Wiretapping Reporters? Andrea Mitchell asks some curious questions that suggest at least one journalist may have been caught up in a recently disclosed domestic eavesdropping program. Jan. 04, 2006 Bill O'Reilly and Microsoft: Both 60 Percent Crap David Letterman takes on Bill O'Reilly and Microsoft takes down Chinese bloggers. The Water Cooler. Jan. 06, 2006 Franklin Foer on the Blogosphere's War on the Media The New Republic writer discusses why liberal bloggers are helping destroy the credibility of media outlets, and questions about the new management of the Wall Street Journal . Magazine Report. Jan. 03, 2006 Torture, Spying, Bureaucratic Dystopia - They're Not Just for Newsrooms Any More! A must-read report on the realities on the ground in Iraq, arguments about democracy in the Middle East, and a look at John Bolton's tenure as ambassador to the U.N. Who We Are | Privacy Policy | Contact Us | Subscribe to CJR ©2004 - 2006 Columbia Journalism Review at Columbia University 's Graduate School of Journalism The CJRDaily Site is Powered by Movable Type 3.2 Hosting for CJRDaily is provided by ¡zettai!

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GetAFreelancer.com - MYSPACE FRIEND ADDER SITE/MYSPACE WHORE TRAIN (BULLETIN TRAIN) GENERATOR,, FCS. Freelance Programmers and Web Designers. Sign Up | Log in | Top Rated Users | Browse projects | Post Project | Advertise | RSS feeds | Articles Paid Ad: MYSPACE FRIEND ADDER SITE/MYSPACE WHORE TRAIN (BULLETIN TRAIN) GENERATOR, ( Click here to post similar project ) ID: 37597 MYSPACE FRIEND ADDER SITE/MYSPACE WHORE TRAIN (BULLETIN TRAIN) GENERATOR, is project number 37597 posted at GetAFreelancer.com . Click here to post your own project. Closed (Selected Service Provider cww1 ) Status: Closed Budget: $ 100-300 Created: 12/28/2005 at 22:35 EST Bidding Ends: 12/29/2005 at 22:35 EST Project Creator: gamer1 Buyer Rating: (No Feedback Yet) Description: I am looking for an exact clone of this sites coding - http://myspaceadds.com/. I also need their bulletin whore train generator found here - http://myspaceadds.com/makeyourown/index.php. You must be familiar with myspace to do this project! Job Type: PHP Database: (None) Operating system: (None) Bid count: 6 Average bid: $ 275 Related project Move existing site to Joomla / Virtuemart or equivalent CMS Featured posted by gyrex Budget: $ 300-1500 Messages Posted: 1 If you are the project creator or one of the bidders for more options Order by: Rating Bid sum Bid date Service Providers PMB Bid Delivery Within Time of Bid Provider Rating cww1 $ 200 7 days 12-28-2005 23:12 ( 6 reviews) We can provide the solution that you are searching for. We can handle this task, please contact me if you need additional information... mariajosephe $ 300 15 days 12-29-2005 02:01 (No Feedback Yet) Hello,We are a software company backed with years of experience and the right expertise to handle all your requirements. With an in-house team of some of the best skilled hands, we assure you of quality work on time, every single time. Please view our portfolio. We would be highly obliged if given the opportunity to handle this project for you.Thanking you, ratty $ 300 5 days 12-29-2005 03:52 (No Feedback Yet) i am a professional in web design graphics design logo design,php programming,java,java script,web promotion,translation so i guess the job will be considered done only if you give me a chance... paker $ 300 7 days 12-29-2005 04:04 (No Feedback Yet) i am aprofessional in web design php programming,java,java script so i guess the job will be done if you give me a chance... owi $ 250 4 days 12-29-2005 07:44 (No Feedback Yet) We can do this. [SEE PMB FOR MORE DETAILS] souravkumar $ 300 15 days 12-29-2005 23:46 (No Feedback Yet) i have read the project specifictaions and I am ready to do this project. I assure you that i will give you 100% satisfaction. Online Investments - The Best HYIPs - Investment Catalog -- [ Customer Support System ] [ View All Projects ] [ Secure Forms ] [ Post Project Free ] [ Outsourcing ] What is GetAFreelancer.com? ( Read about the company ) Our escrow feature is developed to protect both buyers and sellers.Bookmark our homepage to make sure you don't forget about our website next time you need to develop an IT project for yourself or your company.Would you like to outsource your next project ? Would you like to make money as a freelancer ? Click Sign Up to start!GetAFreelancer.com is one of the largest sites of it's kind. We have earned a good reputation and you can trust us.We have thousands of satisfied clients around the world. Buy services with help from our secure escrow system. Our mission is to find the best possible freelance workers at the best possible price. GetAFreelancer.com helps webmasters, web designers, programmers, software developers and business owners to develop their projects .If you never tried to contract work to another part of the world you have your chance today. Sign up free! Webmaster Resources | Webmaster Forum | PHP & MySQL Code Examples ASP & VB Code Examples | Search Engine Submission | PHP class scripts } } -- Innovate it © 2004-2006 PRIVACY POLICY - TERMS - AFFILIATES - RESOURCES ( Submit site ) - CONTACT - FAQ

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www.myspace.com/djgreenlantern MySpace.com | Home The Web MySpace Help | SignUp Home | Browse | Search | Invite | Rank | Mail | Blog | Favorites | Forum | Groups | Events | Games | Music | Classifieds Videos | Directory | Search | Top Artists | Shows | Music Forums | Music Classifieds | Artist Signup DJ GREEN LANTERN Hip Hop United States Profile Views: 88527 Last Login: 01/10/2006 View more pics Contacting DJ GREEN LANTERN MySpace URL: http://www.myspace.com/djgreenlantern DJ GREEN LANTERN General Info Member Since November 3, 2004 Band Website DJGREENLANTERN.com Band Members Type of Label Major DJ GREEN LANTERN's Latest Blog Entry [ Subscribe to this Blog ] [ View All Blog Entries ] About DJ GREEN LANTERN DJ GREEN LANTERN's Friend Space DJ GREEN LANTERN has 19691 friends. Fort Minor We Major Just Blaze swift17 Trulife Oxy Cottontail FATT BRADD PITT Kelly Deva View All of DJ GREEN LANTERN's Friends DJ GREEN LANTERN'sFriends Comments Displaying 50 of 2661 comments ( View/Edit All Comments ) Mister Ripley Jan 11, 2006 02:04 PM Green "INVASION" Lantern Stay driven and focused fam. An emcee aint shit without the DJ! Respect Due! M.R. RIPLEY Ba OmPaNy Jan 11, 2006 01:21 PM whats good green .....congrats on that shit with the roc for u and tru over there thats what it is.....good looking for coming through adn supporting nigags and basically my nigga holla keep putting them heat rocks out my dude....bad company all day everyday my nigga...... MT Da Blest One Jan 11, 2006 12:57 PM THANX FA THE ADD SENDIN BLESSINS PEACE MT Risky Jan 11, 2006 12:07 PM Yo straight FROM the streets TO the streets. . . SWAT PRODUCT & GT GARZA present: "MAVERICK MUSIC: Welcome To The Future" Out this January with 24 KILLA CUTS itchin to set blocks ablaze. With production by: Pitch Brown, J. Risko Productions, & Moonshine. Guest appearances by: Rob G, V-Zilla, and S.W.A.T. This mixtape is long overdue and fully worth the wait. Check for bonus tracks and material uploaded every 2 weeks on www.soundclick.com/gtgarza or www.myspace.com/gtgarza Also, be sure to check out the all new music and battle footage on WWW.GTGARZA.COM (coming soon). Dont Sleep!!! This is TRUE HEAT!!!! The Resurrection of HIP-HOP!!! NOW, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WELCOME TO THE FUTURE THANKS FOR ALL YOUR SUPPORT.....CHECK THE MUSIC AND THE CD WHEN IT DROPS THIS MONTH... CHOPPAHOLIX/SWAT PRODUCT 2810 ENT. Jan 11, 2006 11:41 AM GOT BEAT? VOL. 2 @ http://www.cafepress.com/gotbeatVOL2 <img src="http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c214/hmh2810/gotbeatcover.png" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com"> AND DONT FOR GET THE RINGTONES @ http://jivjiv.com/HMHTones j.cordova productions Jan 11, 2006 11:33 AM hey got a new beat up.. check it out if you get a chance .. feedback is always appreciated TKD Jan 11, 2006 10:33 AM Jus showin some luv from the KY! Lissa Jan 11, 2006 10:06 AM Thanks for the Add!! Love the beats! RoCCM@N Jan 11, 2006 09:28 AM www.myspace.com/RoCCMaN GC and Soul Mafia Jan 11, 2006 09:17 AM "The Future of Hip Hop" GC and Soul Mafia GC and Soul Mafia Jan 11, 2006 09:17 AM "The Future of Hip Hop" GC and Soul Mafia GC and Soul Mafia Jan 11, 2006 09:16 AM "The Future of Hip Hop" GC and Soul Mafia GC and Soul Mafia Jan 11, 2006 09:16 AM "The Future of Hip Hop" GC and Soul Mafia Tizz Jan 11, 2006 08:11 AM Whats up, 3 tracks off of my soon to be released album "Where Did I Go Wrong" are now posted on the site. The release date has been changed to this summer, be sure to look out for that. A new snippet containing the other tracks from the album will be posted shortly. Any feedback is appreciated, thanks for the support. -Tizz MEZ Jan 11, 2006 06:27 AM wus poppin'? Snakeyez Jan 10, 2006 11:19 PM MC BATTLE($500 CASH PRIZE N MORE!!) Body: Body: Body: MC BATTLE($500 CASH PRIZE N MORE!!) Body: AYO, AYO ITZ DA HEFE WAT UP!? IM HOSTING AND JUDGIN A MC BATTLE EVERY WEDNESDAY IN THE "CADO DE OSO" BAR LOCATED ON THE CORNER OF STATE ST. AND PULASKI. FOR THOSE FAMILIAR WIT INTERSTATE 287, TAKE DAT TO THE STATE ST.(PERTH AMBOY) EXIT AND ITS THE 1ST BAR ON YOUR LEFT HAND SIDE..U CANT MISS IT..FOR THOSE COMMIN FROM STATEN ISLAND OR NEW YORK: PERTH AMBOY'S RIGHT OVER THE VERAZZANO BRIDGE..TAKE THAT TO THE OUTER BRIDGE, N AS SOON AS U GET OFF DAT, U'LL SEE THE STATE ST. EXIT..FOLLOW DIRECTIONS ABOVE TO LOCATE THE BAR...EEEEZZZZ AS HELL!..NEWAYZ, IF U WASNT THERE 4 THE LAST ONE, IT STARTED OFF SLOW, N IT TURNED OUT TO BE LEGENDARY...4 THOSE WHO WAS THERE, POST A BULLETIN, N LET ALL UR FRIENDZ KNO DAT IM NOT BULLSHITTIN'..ALL WELCOME FROM ALLOVER...AND I WOULD LOVE TO SEE ALL OF YOU THERE...GRINDIN TILL IM ON...SNAKEYEZ...1 LEVI Jan 10, 2006 10:18 PM Online Pimpin from the west coast? I missed hearing you on hot 97 tonight . Whats up with the contest? - "anther white female who wishes she was black..." LEVI Carl Jan 10, 2006 08:53 PM Thanks for the add Lantern, can't wait to hear the new stuff you got cookin Rellis Jan 10, 2006 08:42 PM EMCEES WIN 10 FREE BEATS and A HOME STUDIO SET UP FOR 16 BARS ... MESSAGE ME FOR DETAILS !!!!!!!!!!!! HUNNED PROOF Jan 10, 2006 05:59 PM GREEN...WUT'S GOOD...MUCH RESPECT! CHECK OUT MY TRACK U PRODUCED ON MY PAGE! U GAVE ME THE CD AT CLUB SPEED...IT'S CALLED WATCH IT! KEEP BANGIN! 1NE -HUNNED PROOF- "Jersey's Best Kept Secret" www.HUNNEDPROOF.com STREET DREAM ENT. "Move Over...We Got This!" PREEMO Jan 10, 2006 05:08 PM blazin 1 wit ya, keep keepin on.peace BurninLz Jan 10, 2006 03:06 PM im'a producer lookin to get my name and my beats out holla at me Dem Boys Jan 10, 2006 12:49 PM Wha sup wit it? This is Lonestar of Dem Boys. Im just stoppin by to show some support. Hol it down. <div align=center><a href="http://www.mybannermaker.com" target="_blank"> <img src="http://www.mybannermaker.com/im/9K28.gif" alt='Free Banners from MyspaceBanners.com!' border=0 /><br>Make your own Banner Here!<br></a></div> Dem Boys (From Corpus Christi 2 Copperas cove) Young Scarface Jan 10, 2006 11:52 AM Say hello to the bad guy... Young Scarface! DjCrossform Jan 10, 2006 10:15 AM sup god .. man you been a crazy inspiration to me & my music homie! Keep it bang'n! holla back & drop me a line [1] NightLifeinNYC Jan 10, 2006 10:11 AM Champagne Thursdays @ 58 (Au Bar) 41 East 58th Street (btw Madison & Park Avenues) music by DJs J-Luv & Magic mixin' an ultra chic blend of hip-hop, house, rock, and 80's. Ladies drink FREE champagne 'til midnight! Drink Specials All Night Long! Dress Code is Trendy & Fashionable. LADIES ARE IN FREE ALL NIGHT ON THE NOWNYC GUESTLIST GENTLMEN ARE $20 ON THE NOWNYC GUESTLIST. For more information, bottle service/table reservations, group discounts, or VIP access, please e-mail info@nownyc.com or call 646-862-2772 broady champs Jan 10, 2006 09:54 AM good look on tha add. keep doing ya thing. holla at the kids when u get a chance. one STRANGULA PRODUCTIONZ Jan 10, 2006 09:28 AM TRUST ME IF YOU NEED A HOT BEAT HIT ME UP FOR REAL Fred.Bear Studio Time? Beats? Jan 10, 2006 09:23 AM Thanks for the add Definitly check out my page when you get a sec, let me know what you think.. Fred Bear Studio Manager DaMan PRO NYC Hajtrinity Entertainment Jan 10, 2006 07:02 AM holla MNASTY(producer/engineer) Jan 10, 2006 01:32 AM Check out my R&B artist on my top 8, her name is KoMika. Not the One produced by yours truly. Let me know what you think!!! ThOneYouShouldLookOutFor Jan 9, 2006 09:24 PM Gl that back L.C.C. FiendOut! i was think you got us run'n around like group of cell jr's shout out to Ju "Aay!"n' whole diplomates united we stand. all music to come before it. WLuxe TARP... Jan 9, 2006 06:18 PM dope... Nessa Jan 9, 2006 05:03 PM Thanks for the add!!!!Love listenin to ur beats thanks for all u do pa! Street HuSTLer's Beat Studio Jan 9, 2006 04:49 PM What's good B? Goog lookin on the add, and let us know if you need underground music to put on a mixtape or what not. We'll sent it out to you or e-mail it, which ever you perfer. One luv Mic Mountain Jan 9, 2006 03:33 PM LIVE HIP-HOP RADIO FOR FREE AT ANY HOUR OF THE DAY!!!!!! 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Whore Train

Exquisite Corpse - A Journal of Letters and Life Dirk the Lech by Pete Sniegowski From Losers: A Collection of Short Stories Admitted depravity is one thing, the other is pathos, sweet and true as honey. He liked the idea of lechery, the whole idea of it. I suppose we all have our own definition of lechery. Dirk's head was full of Sci-Fi comic book heroines with giant breasts and tear-drop asses. It was also full of far too much live KISS footage and Bad Company songs. But it went well beyond that. He wrote on his pants--spasmodic phrases--things like, BROWN, PETRIFIED RAGE!!, REMEMBER THE ORANGE GLOW!!, FURIOUS SPHOOG TUNES!! I saw him last Tuesday, patching his canoe in the front yard. He'd smeared grass clippings into the resin by accident. The fiberglass wasn't staying down. It went wherever his trowel (a stick) went. And he was saying to me, "When I get older I'll be one of those guys on the front porch yelling at kids and hooting at the chicks going by." "Leaning forward on your cane." "Right." "With shit in your diaper." "Hey!" he said with mock ferocity. "Leave my dreams alone." Resin-impregnated fiberglass strands wafted against his leg. "Dreams like the Norsky whore?" "She wasn't a whore!" But I could see that she was. In a non-violent way, Dirk considered all women to be saucy little hookers of one type or another. The ones who denied it were simply frigid, saucy little hookers, who lied to themselves, and everybody else. Usually, listening to other guys talk about sexual exploits turns my stomach slowly. Not to be prudish or anything, because I don't give a damn what they do to each other as long as there's consent and I'm not a part of it. It's just that Dirk's eyes would bulge, and he'd get this weird tick where he'd stretch his neck and look at you like a fish in a fist when he really got going on the topic of a woman's ass. Which comes back to the story of the Norsky Whore, who is, technically, not a whore. If I remember it right, she spoke four languages and, according to Dirk, had one beatific ass. Anyway, Dirk was on his way to Eastern Europe, via Amsterdam. After the airport, at the train station, he stowed his ever precious, life encompassing duffle in a locker. Within one day Dirk would turn 30. He had some half-psychotic notion that he needed to "fuck a whore" before he turned 30, because after he turned 30 he had vowed to become the son that his mother always wanted, not the irresponsible megalomaniac that he was. And fucking a whore on the day before his 30th birthday was going be the gateway of sin through which he would pass as he cleansed himself, in Amsterdam. Europe's own sin city. It seems that Dirk had reached a cross roads. And as usual, he followed the road of the misguided, mildly evil miscreant. He rationalized his plan with the knowledge that Kerouac would on occasion seek out a prostitute, which, according to Dirk, meant that he was in good company. Back to Dirk loading his duffle into a train station locker--I will give him this: Dirk was pure enough of character to know that he was a loser, simple and straight forward. Not only that, but he hated himself for it and simultaneously loved every minute of the entire, explosively hilarious paradox. I'll grant you he's twisted. But it's as true a twist as you'll ever see. Anyway, enough lionizing the loser. In scuffed, clownish boots and torn, written on clothes he headed off to a "coffee shop" to smoke some coffee. But Dirk forgot something about himself--he's a tight-wad mother fucker. And he blew a fair amount on "coffee." Which left him with only 15 bucks in his pocket (he didn't even consider trying to get more cash as this trip was "budgeted"). After ogling ass all over the street for an hour, he finally honed in on one woman in particular. Although this was not part of the story as he related it, I imagine his neck was stretched to full extension as he gaped at her boobs from the back corner of his left eye and offered her the fifteen bucks hoping she'd suck him off cut rate. No deal. Now things began to look grim--it seemed Dirk would not get to "bang his strumpet" before he turned thirty. Having set this goal for himself, and seeing it so clearly as the only way to go, he faced the stark reality of his loserdom. To fail in this matter would be bad for his future. The ramifications of failure would reverberate throughout the rest of his life. But he was a loser anyway, so he turned and followed the flow (which quickly became a line) of stoop-shouldered chicken chokers into a large grey building with girls dancing in the windows. As he and his horny, frog-eyed compatriots shuffled through dank, sound-dampened corridors, young women (possibly girls) reached out to them, beckoned them. Dirk shuffled faster. Somewhere along the line there he decided that all he really wanted to do was drool over some hot stripper while he smacked his monkey against a pole. Which was all he could afford, anyway. It was a resolution of sorts. He found his booth. You know what it smelled like, and if you don't so much the better for you. There wasn't much room. Over in the corner sat a chair with a small table by it. On the table sat a box of tissues, under it, a wastebasket. He turned to the control panel on the wall and saw that there were names next to buttons: Jackie, Lola, Sophia, etc... You get the picture. Now, Dirk was never big on doing things the way they were supposed to be done, nor was he big on patience. So, he had a look at the instructions, decided they were far too complicated and dumped a few guilder into the machine. He paused and pressed Lola because Jackie sounded a bit dikey to him and Sophia reminded him of Sophia Loren. He did not want to see Sophia Loren naked. Most of us might wait for at least a minute before we proceeded with further measures. After all, you're 3,000 miles from home, in a foreign country, wedged into a cum stained porno booth. You don't know how things operate in this neck of the woods. So you wait. Not Dirk. He says he waited a while, and, in his manic state, I expect it seemed like that at the time. I figure he waited about ten to fifteen seconds. Whereupon he pressed another button and held it for a second. Again, there was no immediate gratification. So he dumped all his money into the machine and spread his hand across all the buttons, pushing them all two or three times. Within moments a displeased looking woman in a loose robe walked into the room on the other side of the glass from Dirk. I won't subject you to the lascivious details as they were related to me. Suffice to say that he didn't look her in the face for quite some time. The stripper tried three or four different languages. Possibly because Dirk always looks like a refugee, possibly just to humble him. Either way, you gotta like it. Finally, she landed on English and demanded, "Have you ever done this before?" And here comes Dirk's second big mistake. "Yeah. Sure," he said. He earned no points with that response. Instead he gave the impression of arrogance hiding ignorance. Which doesn't get you anywhere with a stripper who's behind an inch of Plexiglas. The woman tried to explain to Dirk where to put the money and how much one thing or another cost. "You want full nude show--so much. You want masturbation--so much," and so on. Dirk wasn't paying attention. He was watching her robe fall open ever so slightly as she made her explanations--his neck stretched and twitching the whole time. He looked up at her through a haze of testosterone. "I put all my money in the machine." He pointed to the lit up buttons. The woman began to lose patience. Dirk pressed on. "I put fifteen guilder in, which entitles me to a pussy show." From there it broke into full argument. She wasn't budging and Dirk was about to lose it. Within seconds he would lose the rest of his money and get nothing, no whore to fuck before he turned 30, no pussy show, nothing. He could not face the wretched truth of it all. He argued like a fanatic. "I paid fifteen guilder to that machine. Look, right on the front there--it says fifteen guilder. Now lets have a show! Goddamnit!" That was all the woman needed to hear. She stood up straight, pulled her robe tight and left. Dirk remained in the booth for a second, then it came to him: pure failure--simple, mammoth and flat. He fled the scene quickly, which really should be the end of the story, but this is Dirk, so let's continue. He gets back to the train station and sees that his locker is open and everything is gone. He freaks. He makes his distress audible. "Oh! Oh! Oh! All my shit!" People begin to stare. He ignores them and tears off looking for the attendant. He finds the attendant talking to some older, quiet folks. No time for that. "Some mother fucker stole my shit!" He blurted. "I went... I was gone for a while and now my shit is gone! Some son-of-a-bitch..." He dragged the attendant to his locker. "You are sure this is your locker?" The attendant asked. "Of course it's my fucking locker! I'm not fucking stupid." It wasn't his locker. His was the next one to the right. After that Dirk got on the train for Eastern Europe and turned thirty the next day. He's still out there, victimizing the unsuspecting. Once, on a bleak stretch of I-80 in southern Wyoming I tried to kill him in my pick-up truck--ready and willing to sacrifice my truck and my own life if necessary. Anything to get the job done. Totaled the truck, but we both walked away with little loss of blood. No luck. Two days later he was found screaming at a seven-year-old girl who had allowed her pet bunny to get into his yard. He told her she didn't deserve a bunny if she couldn't control it. The girl was mildly retarded. She wouldn't stop crying for three days. When the mother came over later that day to exact an apology from Dirk, he refused. When things became heated, he screamed at the girl again, and in all likelihood caused permanent damage to her psyche. He hasn't apologized to this day. Last I heard, he fell for some girl in her late teens. They both decided that she didn't need the medicine the psychiatrists had prescribed and headed West in a dusty green '73 Fury station wagon. ©1999-2004 Exquisite Corpse. Site design by Compulsive Creations .