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Ooze Magazine yyyy OOZE MAGAZINE PROUDLY PRESENTS ITS ON-GOING PROJECT: OOZETV VIDEOS! 8 new films! BACK ISSUES 1994-2002 The Sex Issue 50 Years of Ooze THE FINGER Science Fiction Foreigners Teens Xmas Back-to-School Slime Issue Traveling with Ooze ...and more Order Crap Great Price THE FINGER: A Comprehensive Guide to Flipping Off - We wrote it $10 Ooze T-shirts-$10 Ooze Stickers-$1 Disco Jesus shirts and posters-$4 + $10 PRANKS THE FORCE IS A TOOL OF SATAN If George Lucas makes the 7th Sequel to Star Wars - we all die! EL CULO NEGRO for Vice President Our unsuccessful bid to run a Mexican wrestler on the Democratic ticket. PWEETA - People Who Enjoy Eating Tasty Animals We want you to EAT MORE MEAT! About Ooze Who is Ooze? See their compromising photos, and their even more compromising biographies. Live Shows Ooze performs LIVE in Los Angeles and other cities- just not right now. Look here for reviews of past performances, new bookings, and more. Or you can book 'em yourself . THE FINGER: A Great Gift Book Ever wonder who was the first person to flip someone off? I bet you didn't know if happened more than 2500 years ago. THE FINGER is a gift that keeps on giving special love for as long as the paper isn't rotting in a dumpster. GREAT GIFT! Get it from Ooze . Get it from Amazon . FREE ipod Nano! Or Mini Mac! Or a flatscreen The latest in internet marketing scams that even WIRED can't pinpoint quite how it works, but it does . We got a FREE IPOD in time for Xmas. Do Ooze a favor and click those top links and sign up for something you can cancel. PLEASE! Smell the Brussels Sewer! Get Ooze Updates! Want oozing hi-larity delivered to your very own electronic mailbox? Who doesn't? Get the latest word on where Ooze is performing, and when new stuff appears on this very website. Just send us a message that says: I WANT OOZE! subscribeme@ooze.com Search All of Ooze Find: Search the Buttload of Ooze Search: All Products Apparel Baby Beauty Books DVD Electronics Home Gourmet Food Health Care Watches Kitchen Magazines Instruments Music Computers Camera & Photo Software Outdoors Tools Toys & Games VHS Video Games Cell Phones Enter keywords... Ooze Wants You To Search for Amazon Products! THIS IS THE ONLY WAY WE MAKE $! The Sewer Tour is Sponsored in part by Justin Hall's links.net . Justin held a contest in March where we won a round-trip ticket to anywhere in the world for our sewer tour. Thanks! MDT COMMUNICATIONS gave us one of their international cell phones they rent out to people in the Los Angeles area . web ooze.com DinGLE BLOG The Dingleberrys have a new blog over on myspace . Follow their fortnightly adventures as three giant animals try to make their way through the LA Rock Scene and Become Famous . They are retarded. note : you can now JOIN our new RSS feed and submit crap that's yours or that you find somewhere. GO NOW! NEW RSS FEED! - YOU CAN JOIN oozeTV has a new sibling - the oozeTV RSS feed ! Take a peek. Right now there are two ALL-NEW videos up there (and not here) ROBOTS GONE WILD and ALIEN SEX PARTY . Got any videos you want to share? Anyone can link stuff in our Odd Video Collection. After 11 years of not listening to you, Ooze suddenly CARES . HOLLYWOOD SEX TOUR VIDEO Ooze convinces seven unsuspecting tourists in Hollywood to get into a van with us for two hours to see where celebrity scandals happened. We visit the toilet where cops caught George Michael jerking off, the alley Eddie Murphy picked up a foot fetishist cross dresser, where Hugh Grant got his money for his infamous blow job and much much more. Real tour operators felt so threatened they tried to bust us for operating a tour without a licence! See it on OOZETV FREE ipod Nano! Get one, bitch. It's a pyramid scheme that works. Last year I got a free ipod. This year, I want a Nano. You just sucker five friends and yourself to sign up for stupid stuff, and they ship you this thing. I SWEAR. Ooze Editor's L.A. Movie Premeire Ooze Editor MJ Loheed premieres his feature film, FREEZE OUT at the Westwood Film Festival on Sun. Oct. 12 -10:30 pm at the Crest Theatre. It's a comedy about people so into poker, they lose track of the important things in life - like lying to your friends, having sex and cheating - but instead play poker. Or is it the other way around? 1262 Westwood Blvd. LA. The Cast includes Real Celebrities! Click on the link above to find out more or listen to MJ on the radio talking about the movie. IGN.COM Star Wars is Evil Film Mortimer Fontaine of toolofsatan.org was recently spotted on video talking about the Evil of Star Wars to the Mega Gaming Site Now Owned By Fox. Best explanation of the Soul Destroying Nature of Star Wars caught on film. Click the fat face at the bottom to watch. thedingleberrys.com The Dingleberrys are the #1 Band in the World. Their website has a song and video on it, with more to come along with a myspace page! All the Kids like the Dinglberrys Rock! Make them your MYSPACE friends. (They don't have any except for that guy everyone gets) TAP TREK.com You gotta see Tap Trek . Why? Star Trek . Tap Dance . Need I say more? In this new video, the crew of the USS Shufflin' Foot fights Abraham Lincoln for control of the UNIVERSE ! R2-DEMON2 Shirts! Sizes Medium Large Extra Large $17.99 includes domestic shipping People are Stupid Millions of people have visited Tool of Satan , and that's just swell. But this time, (as opposed to 1999) not only do we get reams of hate mail for an obvious joke (many many clues) - we have the world of blogs to peruse. Blogs that post their "thoughts" - and when they finally figure out it's a joke, get to post more. Usually they think it's a bad joke, since they didn't get it themselves. I guess they missed the point. They are the joke. Mostly because people mouth off without thinking. Way too many links to post, so just go to google and look up "toolofsatan" or "r-2-demon-2" and see for yourself. STAR WARS PROTEST GIFT BAGS People have gone super nutty on Tool of Satan . There is even an ebay auction selling the "tools" Target Gift Bags (for very little.) Read about that and more in our very functional Tool of Satan Forums . (new) STAR WARS PROTEST We protest the new Star Wars (again). basically we went to the opening of Star Wars and passed out these flyers . People freaked. See new hyper-christian pamphleteering at the Tool of Satan . Pointless Message Board Talk crap about whatever you want. I set this up so Ooze readers can make their own content for each other and I don't have to. Ooze Message Board . Café Press Deletes "Offensive" Material Citing potential riots, Cafe Press officially removed all "I (heart) Niggers" and "I lIke Kikes" merchandise from the Ooze Store. We adhere to our stand that these shirts are Peace Loving and not racist or offensive. Sadly, it was also our best selling item. If you do like them , please write to us and we'll put you on a list. We're printing a bunch up ourselves! FREE Mini Mac! Get Yours Here!. This internet marketing scams works! We got a FREE IPOD in time for Xmas. Even WIRED can't pinpoint how it works, but it does. Do Ooze a favor and click the top link and sign up for something you can cancel. (SIGN UP for the infone one - it requires a credit card, but does not charge you!) Then you can get a free computer too. Chompo's Lost Lunch One-eye dogs, rainbows, unicorns, and corruption at the highest levels. Ooze's latest family entertainment bonanza is finally finished. 30 pages of doggie fun . Buy Ooze Stuff We've completely revamped the order page -making it much easier to read - and added a whole bunch of new items to t he Cafe Press Shoppee . It has to be seen to be believed. Color Jesus T's, Baby with Fork in Head infantwear, an I (heart) Nigger teddy bear (and T-Shirt), I Like Kikes bumper stickers, and lots and lots of Chompo stuff. Buy Chompo Stuff Visit Chompo's Shoppee and get t-shirts, undie-pants, lunch boxes and more. CHOMPO SCHWAG for XMAS! chompo.com Ooze's popular one-eyed dog, Chompo, now has her own website at chompo.com . This is a no-toothed Chompo fest filled with pictures, videos, animations, stories, and Chompo Merchandise. The Flash Storybook™ Chompo's Lost Lunch is a tour d' force of storytelling - with a cliffhanger ending! Obey the iFilm OBEY THE SIGNS... AND LIVE! is now featured on ifilm . Why see it on a Big Website when you can see it here with out all the crappy ads? It'll be bigger, faster, and put less of a load on our servers and will make us feel cool when lots of people see it and knock on our e-door and make us rich and famous. George Bush "Flip-Off" See the President Flip the Bird LATE BREAKING FINGER NEWS When George Bush was Governor of Texas he gave the camera a "One-Fingered Salute" before going on the air. While Bush may not have been the Commander-in-Chief at the time, this video is historically significant because the highest ranking U.S. official caught flipping someone off previously was Vice-President Nelson Rockefeller in 1975. Mr. Rockefeller was thought to be in the first stages of dementia at the time and died two years later. The same thing could be argued about Bush, but two years later he was made President. (1.1 mb) In July 2004, a protestor reported that Mr. Bush had given HIM the finger, but alas no camera caught the offending gesture. Ooze at Los Angeles (area)Film Festival The Century City Film Festival is sort of proud to present OBEY THE SIGNS... AND LIVE! on the big screen in... Hollywood. Why see it on the Big Screen when you can see it for free online? It'll be, BIGGER, and will make us feel better when you laugh and the rest of the audience is horrified. Want this film in your festival? Event is Over Ooze Guy on 1010 WINS The Finger New York news radio reports on the Finger in america and talks to MATT PATTERSON. (1.5 meg mp3 file) Ooze Guy on NPR This American Life Eddie Schmidt whores out his family to Ira Glass on "This American Life." Ed talks about a piece of cheese that cost his parents $10,000. My Brother's Wedding OOZETV Do you care ? My brother got married and I happened to hold the video camera. I figured I worked on it enough, I might as well share it with the world... IRAQI PRISON SCANDAL PHOTOS Abu Ghraib Photo Shocker Due to the Freedom of Information Act, Ooze has received some shocking new photos of further abuse by the Army on Iraqi prisoners . SEVEN NEW FILMS OOZETV Haven't been to Ooze in a while? See SEVEN new OozeTV episodes. Dildos, Priests, Dogs, NEW CULO NEGRO FOOTAGE, Signs, and the scariest Cream Pie Fight you'll ever see . NEW "award winning" FILM OBEY THE SIGNS ... AND LIVE! Fresh from TROMADANCE 2004 , Ooze's travesty of filmmaking is available for download. Rules exist for a reason, and signs quickly and effectively tell you what to do. If you don’t obey the signs, you could die ...or worse. Le Journál d' Sewer Ooze visited Foreign Parts investigating sewer tours in 10 European cities. Why would anyone want to visit a filthy poo canal? That's what we wanted to know too, since each of these cities has some sort of tour or museum dedicated to sewerage open to the public. To see our regular Humorous Pieces access The Sex Issue or any of our other Back Issues including the World Famous site, THE FINGER where you can read excerpts and order copies of the GREATEST BOOK EVER WRITTEN. Our Plan Why are we going into some of the World's Filthiest Places? Because we can! Read our plan and what you can expect to see if you come back. Rip roaing adventurous fun. (updated) Planning Your Own Sewer Tour Want to waltz through the rivers of waste like Ooze? We've given you all the information you need to see the murk of 12 cities. There's other stuff (like culture and buildings) at these places too, but who cares? © 2003, 1994 - 2003 Ooze Magazine All Rights Reserved

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