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www.myspace.com/queensofthestoneage MySpace.com | Home The Web MySpace Help | SignUp Home | Browse | Search | Invite | Rank | Mail | Blog | Favorites | Forum | Groups | Events | Games | Music | Classifieds Videos | Directory | Search | Top Artists | Shows | Music Forums | Music Classifieds | Artist Signup Queens Of The Stone Age Rock / Alternative "Lullabies To Paralyze - In Stores Now!" United States Profile Views: 424864 Last Login: 01/09/2006 View more pics Contacting Queens Of The Stone Age MySpace URL: http://www.myspace.com/queensofthestoneage Queens Of The Stone Age General Info Member Since February 21, 2005 Band Website qotsa.com Band Members Josh Homme - Vocals/Guitars Troy Van Leeuwan - Guitar/Bass Joey Castillo - Drums Alain Johannes - Bass/Guitar Natasha Shneider - Keys Mark Lanegan - Guest Vocals Sounds Like Watch the Video for Feel Good Hit of the Summer Go With the Flow In My Head Little Sister Monsters in the Parasol No One Knows Someone's In the Wolf The Lost Art of Keeping a Secret Burn the Witch Record Label Interscope Records Type of Label Major Queens Of The Stone Age's Latest Blog Entry [ Subscribe to this Blog ] QOTSA perform on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno TONIGHT ( view more ) Over The Years And Through The Woods invading a formerly peaceful location near you! ( view more ) DVD Pre-Order ( view more ) New DVD! ( view more ) Be a part of the Jimmy Kimmel Live Performance ( view more ) [ View All Blog Entries ] About Queens Of The Stone Age So... it once happened, in The Magical Land of Music and Moon, that 4 mistreated animals, each hummed lonesome tunes. The animals loved the land under the moon, but were held captive by their owners, facing certain extinction and doom. Then in one common moment and in houses all separate, a turn for the truly bizarre did happen. A Cock, A Quack, An Ass and A Pig all were, at once, kicked out of their digs. Left to fend for themselves and somehow survive, a story unfolded of fantastical size. In the hind site of things, it's easily said, their exile was a blessing, not a curse instead. For they knew from the onset that abandon's bereft and banishment's bitter, still the 4 misfit minstrels had always longed for something better. The Cock kicked out of his warm hay strewn lair because he was obstinate and nasty and no longer welcome there. The Quack, it was said, was born with a wrong colored head: mistaken for female, not mallard instead. The Ass's knees always trembled and he could bare no load, so he was soon to be killed, eaten or sold. The pig was a pig and ate up all the food. His hungry owners put their foot down, "This Pig is No Good!" Outcast and isolated, they happened upon each other on a long windy road. All decided they could make pace quicker if together, not alone. And so they banded together, brothered and bound, and by surprise they discovered they could all make one sound! The Ass beat the drums, The Quack plucked the Guitar, The Pig played the bass & The Cock, loud and lurid, manned the axe and the mic. And so quacked the Quack, "We're lost! Where should we go? Will it be to or will it be throw?" The Ass hee -hawed, "Hee - Haw, I do not know!" The Pig snorted, "Snort, let's find a trough on the quick; I need something to eat or soon I'll start licking the shit off my feet." Then the Cock crowed out, "You dimwitted drolls, you're missing the beat. Being lost is not our problem! It's straight-up sweet! Lets be glad to be lost and neither found nor confined. It's better to be bumbling and losing our way than trapped by convention and minding owner's say. Lets NOT be found, let's be free instead. If we're discovered and directed, we're better off dead. Our doodle-do is decided. Our destination is Nowhere. Nowhere is our goal. Besides, I can kick up some scratch where ever we go" The Ass Ee-ah'ed, "Okee Dokee, we're set. We'll be lost, like in love and in thought and creative peak, not lost like in traffic jams waiting to take a leak." "That's right," Oinked the pig who ate up a worm, "We'll take every exit and welcome each turn." From that time forth The Refugees set off happily enroute, hunting for nothing of the expected, prescribed or suggested. Expectations abandoned, thoughts not of wrong, full of gay and glee; they carried on with a new song. Then in a gast a devil dropped in o'er their heads - he breathed out fire, branded irons and said, "Oh musical minstrels, I know where you should go: Follow this map and it will surely reward you." "What have you in hand?" asked the Cock as he hardened his head. "It's the answer to your questions." The Devil firmly said. "It's a map to a place where all will know your songs, where you can be rich, adorned and do no wrong." The Cock looked closer, and saw that the map clearly read "The Menagerie to Dumbassery." And shouted out-loud, "This is no place for me!" In response the devil howled and roared, "It will save you from this aimless place where your songs have no name. Now, follow it by the number and you will find your fame." So he threw it at the misfits and it burned at their touch. And they all threw it down into a gully or gulch. The devil was pissed, and his flame flickered out. And the band nodded in agreeance and continued enroute. They carried on with a new song. Then a Big White Rat appeared, holding a magic eight ball under his wiry whiskers. He shook the shiny sphere and said, "You're to follow this map! No question, no bickers. It says on my ball that it's certain, it's true. Don't ask again, The Menagerie of Dumbassery is the place for you!" The Ass kicked the rat and The Pig licked his beard. And the band felt stronger and traveled on without fear. They carried on with a new song. All of a sudden a stench wrapped 'round them and grew. The Pig Oinked out, "I know stank but fucking P-U!" The Quack quacked in, "For Stink' sake it's true! I've been pinned up in barnyards and squeaked out a few. But if I know one thing for certain, this smell is FOWL!" The Cock and The Ass smelled it too. They winced, and plugged their noses and then heard a horrible growl. From behind a juniper a Bigfoot appeared. He was as scary in sight as his smell had foretold. He gnashed his terrible teeth, and showed terrible claws, and the band cringed in confusion, in horror and awe. Bigfoot pound his hairy chest and bellowed, "Follow this map, you miserable minstrels. If you don't go to the Menagerie of Dumbassery, then I'll eat you all up, your lips, toes and assholes." The Cock & The Quack looked up in an instance and saw a pack of Eagles flying in from the distance. The Eagles landed in unison and pecked at the Bigfoot. They shat on his fur and fuzzied his vision. The Bigfoot lost his footing and fell down on the path, and the flurry of Eagles laughed and played with the band. "But wait," interrupted the Ass, "What if that Beast, that Monster wakes up? And comes looking, finds and make dinner of us?" The Cock reassured, as he usually did, "We'd smell him coming, make a plan and of him we'd rid." They carried on with a new song. A Fun Machine came spinning and crossed their way. And hooted and hollered at the minstrels, "Hip Pop- Hop Hooray! Take this map! Follow the way! In fact, my little minstrels hop on board, I'll take you there, with potions and poisons and not a worry or care!!" The Quack bobbed his head and asked his band, "Maybe a good idea? Should we take a ride?" But before they could answer, the Fun Machine took a shit and died. They carried on with a new song. Then a bitch and a wolf crossed the lane, and they looked friendly, if a slight bit insane. A trace of foam was still round their mouths, but the minstrels saw the froth was in the shape of a smile. The Bitch spoke up, as she usually did, and the Cock ruffled his feathers in kinship bid, "We're too wise to fight," she said and continued, "Everyone already knows that our bark is worse than our bite. So we've settled on kindness in wicked's wake. But, Be Warned! Dear misfits, don't discount us quick, we both keep our teeth sharp for safety's sake." "Where are you going?" asked the Wolf. "And what do you do?" "We're going Nowhere answered the Cock. "And we've written a song or two." The Pig explained, "But Beasts and Monsters keep getting in our way. And we are defending ourselves both night and day." The Ass snorted out, "T'is true what Pig Said. The Menagerie of Dumbasserie, keeps rearing its head." "We know of this place," said the Bitch, we've left it ourselves. And know for certain it's best avoided, full of bloodsuckers and snails, leeches and witches and trouble galore, if you go there you'll leave with a mountain of sores. So, let us hear these songs," said the Wolf and the Bitch. "Eee- Awlright," said the Ass, scratching an itch. The band played their songs and the moonlight grew brighter. And the sounds of the desert got quiet and quieter. And the Beasts and The Monsters were all held at bay as the music rang out they'd written along the way. "You have no worries no more," said the Bitch and Wolf did summarize, "for what you have here are Lullabies to Paralyze." Do you hear the silence of the evil around us? Your songs have conquered all the vicious and venomous. Neither Beasts nor Monsters can bar your path. Hear now, Misfit Minstrels, your music has freed you at last! You can stay here safely in the land of music and the moon, or travel about freely as long as you play your tunes!" They Carried On with A new song. But all the while, The Ass staid afraid. What would happen, he wondered, if Bigfoot showered and shaved? How would they smell him coming while they were tucked in their beds? And might they wake up, not as musicians but as carcass instead? Soon they forgot, immersed in their song, until a harsh realm came 'round. The stank of the Big, the putrid, the foul, messed with their gig. But The Monster, oh no, rather an old lady they knew not as friend or foe. Approaching The Cock, The Quack, The Ass and The Pig, one whiff enough to rattled their digs. "Why not?" said The Cock, and spoke to hag: "Don't bother real minstrels with a path, we've been through it and t'is fully daft." "Eeeeaaaaaawwwhhphhhht" she puffed and she pissed, her tongue forked but sagged - oh how the 4 gagged. On this tongue's end stuck the sad map, and antacid reflux tossed it upon this hag's lap. Whew the stank from that scroll - traces of Bigfoot, the Rat and the Toad. The creatures appeared and looked weird, exposed as dumbasses unable the 4 to harass. Old lady rose up and swallowed dumbasses whole, scampering off in search of another soul Until she tripped. And she died. Cuz as we said she was old. THE END. THE PLAYERS The Cock: Josh The Quack: Troy the pretty The Ass: Joey The Pig: new guy Appearing as themselves: The Toad: The Eagles: The Bitch: The Wolf: The Devil: The Rat: The Fun Machine: Bigfoot: Queens Of The Stone Age's Friend Space Queens Of The Stone Age has 56546 friends. CELESTTIANI Eric rhortx fuck your scene. Brett Eugene matt Jonathan View All of Queens Of The Stone Age's Friends Queens Of The Stone Age'sFriends Comments Displaying 50 of 6966 comments ( View/Edit All Comments ) Robert Jan 11, 2006 02:29 PM Rocked the DVD last night. Will rock it again tonight. This time, I will try to keep my clothes on. James Jan 11, 2006 01:31 PM maybe the best band around. they rock harder than anyone and the front man is ginger, what could be better The Teeth Jan 11, 2006 12:52 PM good work lads :-) if you like new music.. come check us out.. THE TEETH.. you know you wanna Sigga Jan 11, 2006 12:02 PM WHEN YOU COME TO ICELAND YOU WILL GIVE ME TICKETS TO YOU CONSERT :D ;) :P HHH Mitchemus Jan 11, 2006 11:49 AM Ok ok ok.......You guys are the fucking shiznit. I saw yous guys twice and both times yall fuckin blew my mind. Years Ozzfest 2000 and Qotsa and NIN. Everything about you guys I love. Troys slide work is fucking badass. In fact. Can I have Troy's job? I have been playing for 14 years and slide for 6. Trust me I can hadle it. I am just a insane basterdass Texan. FUCK YOU I AM FROM TEXAS!!!!! Oh yeah and I am pretty just like him....but not really.......But I am covered in Hair........... Toby Jan 11, 2006 11:26 AM thanks for the add. love your shit. SAM (",) Jan 11, 2006 10:50 AM You guys are the only good current band! their is no one at the moment releasing albums like you! i would advise every one to go and buy the new DVD it has some of the best live shows on it i have every seen by any band. i love all your work, and hope u continue to amaze the world with your thumping desert groove! sam Hallam Kite Jan 11, 2006 10:22 AM So I've just got the gig as new bassist in Gonga. All of y'all stoned queens and drones alike should take time to visit us at gonga.co.uk and myspace.com/gonga. Its all good clean low end and heavy fun. (I wanna sigh like josh's) Jonathon Jan 11, 2006 10:13 AM Tight musicianship...I love it, and love you for it. I hope you are all doing very well, and hope the tour with NIN was fun. I know I'm one out of a billion, but if you get a chance, holla back. Other Peoples Children OPC Jan 11, 2006 08:41 AM we love queens..... underpants gnome Jan 11, 2006 01:35 AM hey if you dont want gretchen then ill do her. Gretchen Jan 10, 2006 10:29 PM I just want to hump every single one of you! Loves Icy Tomb Jan 10, 2006 09:40 PM hey thanks for the add! queens of the stoneage is <3...haha take care chicken Jan 10, 2006 08:09 PM One of the best shows I ever seen. Dave Jan 10, 2006 07:52 PM You guys fucking rule. Your sound gets better and better with every album that is released. Elgie Jan 10, 2006 06:48 PM Amazing band ♥ The Funky Valentine Jan 10, 2006 06:37 PM JOEY has the to be one of the BEST ROCK DRUMMERS EVER_ KEEP IT ROCKING~! How long did you play for Danzig? Jeffrey Jan 10, 2006 06:23 PM Hey, I saw your Renegade show here in Austin a few months ago. Thanks for coming and playing a free show in a record store! Congradulations Josh on your baby. When are the Desert Sessions being rereleased? elvis edward Jan 10, 2006 06:16 PM Hi and thank you for being a friend we so enjoy your company but i must go now the edwards SpanRockDa&liRollish Jan 10, 2006 06:07 PM Queens of the Stone Age ROCKS!!!!!!!!! Thanks so much for adding me as a friend and rock on! elizabeth Jan 10, 2006 05:21 PM queens of the stone age fuckin upstage ANY band ive ever seen on tour with them!! Keep up the bitchin' work guys!! -stay real -liz THROAT CLUB Jan 10, 2006 04:57 PM www.throat-club.com ... berlin assaultassassin Jan 10, 2006 04:35 PM thanks for adding me!! the first time i saw you guys live was with the Foo Fighters and Tenacious D at the Universal/Gibson Amp. in 2001. good times! bitchslap Jan 10, 2006 04:19 PM hey! thanks for adding us! you guys fucking ROCK!!! come back to australia soon! ;) Becca Jan 10, 2006 03:23 PM Oh yeah, thanks for the add. Kinda forgot that in all the excitement of my last comment to you. Nebula101 Jan 10, 2006 03:15 PM You guys rock, , bring me more music... Bones Sinking Like Stones. Jan 10, 2006 03:00 PM thanks for the accept. holy this took me forever to say. I love you guys. amazingness. please come to winnipeg again. and not just as an openner person. I missed the first time around when you came. Nick Jan 10, 2006 03:00 PM U GUYS FREAKIN ROCK!!! i've got a bunch of ur songs on my ipod. BAMF Jan 10, 2006 02:32 PM thanks for the add guys you've got a monster in your parASOL! Red Mosquito Jan 10, 2006 02:26 PM thanks for the add, mark you are a god Selene Jan 10, 2006 02:18 PM I am just lovin you guys!!! I even went as far to say I am starting to be a devoted fan!! Much love your selene Mike Errico Jan 10, 2006 02:17 PM thanks www.errico.com rock Benjamin Jan 10, 2006 02:13 PM im selling all my qotsa/kyuss records... its a sad day :( it wont be so sad if you all go bid on them... :) cheers heres the link... http://search.ebay.co.uk/_W0QQsassZluxury-monsterQQhtZ-1QQfrppZ50QQfsopZ1QQfsooZ1QQrdZ0? *crys* Loopy lou Jan 10, 2006 02:02 PM I just remembered... You added me, and I never thanked you. well Thankyou :) Seantonamobay Jan 10, 2006 01:54 PM Thanks. I recall Josh standing on a fire hydrant yelling at people at Vine bar sat. Anyway, continue the immaculate rocking. -HEidi- Jan 10, 2006 01:26 PM HALLO ! thanx for the add. =)) now, who's the man behind this ? Pororoca Jan 10, 2006 01:10 PM The Dvd is amazing. It's crazy what you guys have gone through. You're fuckin' tits. Justin Jan 10, 2006 12:34 PM Hey guys cheers for the add U ROCK!! brilliant brilliant music keep it coming:D Andy Roddick Jan 10, 2006 12:23 PM Alright lads, It seems like a lifetime since youve watched me play and for me to watch you. Cheers Thuper Man Jan 10, 2006 12:07 PM A know I am a little late but I bought your DVD today! Sweet Dudes! Keep in coming! NEB Jan 10, 2006 12:03 PM i meant kik in that first comment not kis NEB Jan 10, 2006 12:01 PM when r u guys comeing to ORLANDO!!! i wanna be the first in line to by thos fucking tikets! NEB Jan 10, 2006 11:59 AM your band has really been infuential to my band (sometime next tuesday) i hope you guys come out with another single soon to get people out of this gay rap fad! p.s. your drummer kis sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much ass its not even funny ! Hashmark Jan 10, 2006 11:12 AM Thanks for your add!! by the way- we fucking love your tunes! Keep on doing that... Sigga Jan 10, 2006 10:54 AM WHEN WILL YOU COME TO ICELAND AND PLAY YOUR GOOD MUSIC???? :D LOVR SIGGA ;) The Mean Season Jan 10, 2006 10:53 AM Hey there!! Cheers for the add - keep it sweet :) REBEL RADIO Jan 10, 2006 10:44 AM Q.O.T.S.A KICK SOME SERIOUS BOOTY. CHECK OUT THE COOLEST NEW BAND IN TOWN. WWW.REBELRADIOUK.COM Neka Luna Jan 10, 2006 09:21 AM thanx for the add...u guys rock! smartini Jan 10, 2006 09:19 AM hello from Portugal! thanks for the add! ***** bombadell Jan 10, 2006 09:00 AM love it love it love it!!!!! Since the very first time I saw QOTSA in Portugal 2003 I couldn't go a day without listening to their music anymore! Awww I'm sooooooo in Love! Thank you for the add! Add Comment About | FAQ | Terms | Privacy | Safety Tips | Contact Myspace | Promote! | Advertise ©2003-2006 MySpace.com All Rights Reserved.