Whore Train
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eXile - Issue #166 - Whore-R Stories - Whore-r Stories: whore.com - By Mark Ames Moscow-based alternativenewspaper Search the eXile All Issues This Issue This Author This Column | Advanced Search... Email thousands of beautiful Russian Ladies! Home | Archive | Club Guide | Restaurant Guide | Songs | Field Guide To Moscow | Political Trading Cards | About Us Browse Column (19) Previous (6) Next (12) Whore-r Stories: whore.com By Mark Ames ( editor at exile ru ) Browse Author (147) Previous (68) Next (77) T his issue's Whore-R story is a bit different from the rest. First, I chose my whore from the Internet rather than from the Moscow Times. I chose this issue's whore, Galina, through omen.ru (I prefer publichouse.ru for its picture-heavy convenience). She wasn't the best looking girl or the youngest, but she was the most voluptuous in my brief search. I've been on a steady diet of heavy pain killers and celibacy for over a week now. Pain killers cancel out celibacy and when you throw in age and general exhaustion, you get a flaccid unit. The anketa claimed that Galina is "gypersexualnaya," and I was curious to find out what hypersexual means to a lying pimp. I called the whore's number and ordered her for delivery as if she was a Pepperoni Supreme from Jack's. If you go to her apartment, the price is $50; for delivery, the minimum order is two hours for 2500 rubles. I met Galina out in front of my podezd, took her upstairs, poured her some Montenegrin wine, and tried coaxing her into talking. She had one of those rough village accents, phrases lipped and words slurred, almost like a train horn or a wildebeest: "Nu chto-zhe!...Nu..." "Rooo! Mroooo!" She came to Moscow from a village in southeastern Ukraine about six months ago. "There's no money in Ukraine, nothing at all," she said. "Kuchma made a real mess of it. That's what we're stuck with. If I wanted money I had to get out." "Couldn't you do anything there?" "Do what? There's nothing. In the best case, if you run your own business, you can make up to 1000 rubles a month (about $33 dollars). That's if you're successful. There's nothing at all." She wanted me to talk about California. Village whores want to hear that there's a happy place, a hope. So I told her all about the beaches, the Santa Cruz Mountains, the horses and apricot orchards. "Have you been with an American before?" I asked her. "Just yesterday," she laughed shyly. "But he hated Moscow and Russia. All he talked about was how he wanted to leave." I moved the topic back to Ukraine. "You can't even get health care," she told me. "My brother got into a horrible car accident. Broke his legs in four places, had internal bleeding. One day I go to the hospital to visit him - we went every day - and he's doing worse. I ask the nurse what's wrong. She says, 'We ran out of syringes. We have the medicine but no syringes.' It was blackmail. I had to go buy them all myself downstairs in the hospital apteka. She was ready to let him suffer to make me buy them." "What if you don't have money and you're in the hospital?" "They put you aside in a separate ward and let you die." She said that she hadn't had any bad experiences as a whore. A friend from her village helped bring Galina out and set her up. I asked her how much longer she'd do it. "I don't know. No more than a few months ahead. But I'll stop. I know some girls who are married and they keep working as prostitutes. Their husbands even know. I have one friend, married. Her husband has his business, she has hers. I can't imagine that, working through the night, then coming home to your husband and getting in bed." "Maybe he doesn't love her," I said. "He does, he just doesn't care." "Are you married?" "No," she said. "Are you really gypersexualnaya?" "That's just an ad." I gave her a towel and sent her into the shower. She entered my bedroom; I pulled the towel off. Her body was better than I'd expected: thin waist, thick bones built for the steppes. Her ass was meaty in a good way, her breasts were large, the nipples awkward. In a year, she'd be unfuckable. She tried to put some weird village condom on me with her mouth, the first trick every whore learns. It wouldn't go. It was tight and I was as flaccid as, well, the condom. She tried blowing me again; I got to about a 30 degree angle, but lost it when she tried mouth-applicating the condom. "Let's lie down a minute," I suggested. I was in the mood for voluptuous. I told her she was soft (myagkii) and she got offended. "Soft is what you call a pillow. My flesh is gentle (nezhnii)." After some 20 minutes of determined body and hand pressure, I was able to achieve enough wood. I got on top of her and slowly wriggled my way inside...and nearly blew within seconds. That would have been funny if she was a girl I'd picked up from a bar, but I wanted my money's worth. So I pulled her on top of me and let her ride me while I thought about the horrible TV interview I'd given earlier that afternoon to the Kultura channel, all the embarrassing things I'd said. I yelped once or twice -- she must have thought it was from excitement. The panic helped me last about five minutes, and then the fun 'n' games were over. Zip! Sorry. Afterwards, she admitted she had a child. I'm not sure why she admitted it -- maybe it was too obvious from her breast structure: large nipples, large erasers. "Where's the husband?" I asked. "He left, the bastard." "You don't know where to?" "No. Just left. Doesn't care about feeding the baby, about giving her clothes, medicine. Just left, with no conscience." Welp, I thought, at least he can sleep well knowing he's just produced another whore. I know I will. Issue In #166 20 May 03 (2 years, 7 months old) Also in this Issue Bardak Calendar Paul McCartney... The Five McKartnees... Snapper Safari Do South African women shave their snappers?... SIC! SUCKUP-NIKOV... DEATH BOER-N... THE PARTY LIE... J'ACCUSE!... Schopenhauer Awards Schoepenhauer Awards Today we'll introduce you to the Intestinal Roundworm... Summer Cafes: from Paradise to Purgatory Restaurant Review byElizabethFamilton Scandinavia's Summer Cafe is a fine restaurant in any season... Snapper Season Feature Story To investigate the whole phenomenon of snapper grooming, we called local Moscow beauty salons... Death Porn COCOON III: GREY POWER!... FIND A NEED AND KILL IT... A True Loser - For Once Book Review byJohnDolan Every now and then, someone sends us an apparently self-published book good enough to read... Burma: They Ain't Like Us War Nerd byGaryBrecher Burma is one of these multi-ethnic places, and that usually means trouble: the war as a permanent fact of life... Gay May Holidays Club Review byDenisSalnikov Like most of Moscow's Golden Youth I spent the May holidays in an exotic country - Morocco... Set Font This feature requires JavaScript. Other Formats Printer-friendly Plain Text Email Article Email address(es): Note: Affiliate Links By buying from these merchants, you help to support and enhance our online presence. 200 beautiful RussianBrides a week! Photo galleries, personal profiles, introduction services. Travel to Russia Visa support, hotels, train tickets, tours and cruises. See your message here! Write to web_adv at exile ru Interested in advertising? Write to the_exile at mail ru "the eXile". Tel: +7 (095) 795-3376 , fax: +7 (095) 245-1415 E-mail: office at exile ru (website-related issues: webperson at exile ru )
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Fast Fast Car Awesome Video / MySpace Video Codes Home | Memberspace | Submit Content | Contact | Privacy Policy Your source for funny videos , funny pictures and more updated daily. Be sure to bookmark us by clicking here. NEW!! We now provide you the video, game and picture codes to place any of our content on your MySpace or other blog! Search BoFunk Username Password ( Register | Lost Password ) Navigation Home Pictures Flash Games Soundboards Register Submit Content Memberspace Contact Categories Awesome Chicks Crazy Cute Fights Funny Interactive Nasty Other Painful Ridiculous Signs Stupid Ideas WTH Sponsor Fast Fast Car Next Click here to add this video to your MySpace! IM to a Friend | Send to a Friend | Add to Favorites | Save to Computer | Comments We added another video server to hopefully speed up the videos, if you have any trouble, please contact us by clicking here and let us know and please include the link to the video. -- Random Videos Please link to: More related videos you may like Nike - Good vs. Evil Kill Zone Flying Man Street Drummer Episode 3 Cool Choppers Blow some smoke Fire in the Hole Dirt Bike on Ice Skeleton Entertainer MySpace / Xanga / Blog Video Code Options Video Embed Codes Add Directly to MySpace Thats right!! You can now insert the video directly into your MySpace profile without having to copy the code! Open another web browser (leaving this window open) and login to your MySpace account. Then simply select where you want the video to go from the dropdown below and click "Add to MySpace" ! -SELECT FROM BELOW- Music General Movies Television Books Heroes or Copy and paste the code where you want it (This works on MySpace, Xanga, etc.) Video and Code Provided by BoFunk.com Copy to clipboard Video Link Codes MySpace Codes to Link to the Video With Thumbnail Image (example) Watch Video Here Fast Fast Car Copy to clipboard MySpace Codes to Link to the Video (Text only) Watch Video: Fast Fast Car Copy to clipboard Read and Post Comments on this Video soldierjoe83 I was stationed in Germany and people are crazy like this. 300kpm= 180 mph 12.17.05 Please login to post a comment or register here Buddies MySpace Picture Codes Funny Stuff MySpace Image Codes Time Killer Kontraband WTF People Top Humor Sites Insane Videos Link Partners Free Downloads Need For Fun Funny Video Clips Clip Dump Ringtone Dump Funny Videos Unoriginal Funny Videos Hans-Wurst Entertainment Crazy Babysitter Priceless Funny Pictures Humor Guide!! Funny Videos Crazy Fun madsalmon.net Humor4You Funny Web Zone! Hawt Priceless Funny Videos Twisted Gaia Flush The Web Doshur Raw Meat Funnymovies.net First-Ward Play Music AchterIn I am Bored mpam.gr Free Ringtones More Sites Add Your Site All Rights Reserved - Design BoFunk 2004 - Images & content their respective owners Page took 0.820373 seconds to load.
Cool Stuff For MySpace
www.myspace.com/smartbunny MySpace.com | Home The Web MySpace Help | SignUp Home | Browse | Search | Invite | Rank | Mail | Blog | Favorites | Forum | Groups | Events | Games | Music | Classifieds smartbunny "have another slice." Female 39 years old NYC Area, NEW YORK United States Last Login: 1/10/2006 View More Pics Contactingsmartbunny MySpace URL: http://www.myspace.com/smartbunny smartbunny's Interests General artistic influences: rabbits, cake, tea sets, robots, the colors pink, black and lime green, photoblogging, american roadside souvenir shops, modern art, 60's-70's kitsch, 50's googie design (atomic, space-age), Japanese cute, dots and circles, sans-serif, glasses, skulls, spikes, horror B-Movies from the 50's & 60's, metal and plastic, mid-century decor, theimaginaryworld.com, Dia De Los Muertos, Sanrio, Ariel Bordeaux, Kate Gleeson, Liza Lou, Bruce Nauman, Warhol, Litchenstein, Weird NJ. The many many DIY-people who dare to go beyond needlepoint samplers and googly-eyed rocks. Books The Art of Barbie (by Craig Yoe, who did not hire me), Girly Collectibles, Pop Art: A Continuing History, Covers & Jackets: What The Best-Dressed Books and Magazines Are Wearing, The Happy Mutant Handbook, Kate Gleeson, Miffy, Kaiju's Guide To City-Crushing Monsters, The Sandman, Death: The High Cost of Living, Krazy Kid's Food by Dan Goodsell and Steve Roden. Groups: Patton Oswalt's Team Crappy Apartment , The Coolest Dutch Bunnies Around! View All smartbunny's Groups smartbunny's Details Status: Single Here for: Networking Zodiac Sign: Libra Smoke / Drink: No / No Occupation: artist & designer smartbunny's Networking Fashion - Design - Designer smartbunny designs makes t-shirts, bags and accessories as well as jewelry and crafty items for the home... the designs are basic, bold and bright and range from cute and funny to gothic and funny! Visit http://www.smartbunny.net Marketing - Sales - Sales smartbunny designs seeks stores and places to sell my designs to; visit http://www.smartbunny.net smartbunny is in your extended network smartbunny's Latest Blog Entry [ Subscribe to this Blog ] spreadshirt.com ( view more ) various&sundry ( view more ) [ View All Blog Entries ] smartbunny's Blurbs About me: www.smartbunny.net Original t-shirts, stickers, buttons, bags and more... smartbunny designs + bunnies, rock, poseurs, geek, metal, smart, glasses, naked boobies! + creepygirls, spiders, skulls, evil cupcakes, naked boobies! + TV dinners, cake, pizza boxes, cereal, killer candy, naked boobies! HARDWEAR industrial jewelry + earrings, necklaces, rings made from hardware and metal stuff. + CLICK ON "VIEW MORE PICS" TO SEE MY DESIGNS! + robin@smartbunny.net Who I'd like to meet: smartbunny is here to meet crafty, DIY people, artists, t-shirt afficiandos, pop art enthusiasts and funny nerds. smartbunny's Friend Space smartbunny has 100 friends. Dressy Bessy DREAM INTO DUST Solarian Studios Stephanie Brian Posehn Zach Galifianakis aka Baklava Rodriquez Paul F Tompkins Brian View All ofsmartbunny's Friends smartbunny's Friends Comments Displaying 19 of 23 comments ( View/Edit All Comments ) Brian 1/7/2006 10:11:00 AM Rusty Bobo. Brian 11/29/2005 7:42:00 PM You're a hamster ma'am, YOU'RE a hamster!!! Gram Rabbit 11/28/2005 8:26:00 PM Us Rabbits gotta Stick together. The Horrible 11/23/2005 12:02:00 AM Dying Breed Designs 10/31/2005 5:28:00 PM oh robin this is you!! thanks for letting me know you got your stuff and that you liked it all!! sooo cool...thanks for the support! don't be a stranger, say hi to me again sometime!! come back and i'll give you even more cool stuff! i'm so glad you enjoyed it... lorrie mae DYING BREED Brian 10/29/2005 10:17:00 AM Race war!! You can be captain, I'm gonna be sergeant. Teeth Perpetua 10/29/2005 1:04:00 AM donna 10/18/2005 3:43:00 AM HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROBIN!!!!! Brian 10/17/2005 4:32:00 PM I honestly can't imagine what it would be like if Jack Nicholson was a flabbity bloo. Maybe Kevin Pollak does that impression. Dressy Bessy 10/14/2005 9:35:00 PM Right oN! ultrabunny 10/6/2005 5:39:00 PM just saying hi... Brian 8/28/2005 7:06:00 PM You..vondruke! urbinadesigns.com 8/22/2005 11:10:00 AM Thanks! Purple is a favorite color for me, so Amethyst is a natural choice. I love to trade with other artists, by the way, hint hint... The Hamster Alliance 6/28/2005 8:55:00 PM !!! ARF !!! Return to Reason 6/25/2005 7:20:00 PM Chris Jericho 6/14/2005 2:25:00 PM Yes, I was cheated by Lance Storm on Sunday, but I look at it this way, he has to cheat to win, I guess thats why it was his last match and I'm still going strong! I appreciate the comment and keep them coming. May God bless you and keep you well. -Sincerly- Chris Jericho 'Ol Dirty Bunny 6/6/2005 7:22:00 PM you have some cool stuff! CINDY 6/5/2005 5:24:00 PM Have a good week! NightBird 6/5/2005 7:41:00 AM I'm so glad I found you. I am absolutely tickled by your artwork and your merchandise. Oh my Gawd! The Carol Channing "Scary" shirt had me laugh-crying. You are quite the designer. Nice to meet you... :-) Add Comment About | FAQ | Terms | Privacy | " target="_blank" Safety Tips | Contact Myspace | Promote! | Advertise | MySpace Shop ©2003 MySpace.com. All Rights Reserved.
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Pimp My Page
Pimp My Mobile Bookmarks You are in the: ClickZ Network ClickZ Network Navigation ClickZ Network Home News Experts Stats Features Search Engine Watch Resources Members Area With Exclusive Content Already a member? Learn about the benefits: Departments & Info Home Latest Stories From SEW SEW Blog News From SEW & Beyond SEW Forums Come Discuss Search! Search Engine Submission Tips Web Searching Tips Search Engine Listings Search Ratings & Stats Search Engine Resources SearchDay Our Daily Newsletter Search Engine Report Our Monthly Newsletter Daily SearchCast Our Search Podcast All Newsletters & Feeds SEW Members Area Exclusive Content Advertising Info More About The Site Blog Info Archives Posts Today Posts This Week Posts This Month Other Options Search The Blog Other Info How To Comment How To Be Covered Our Blogroll Get Our Blog Feed! Blog Feed Via: Listen To Our Podcast! The Daily SearchCast Listen Via Odeo Listen Via iTunes Listen Via Yahoo Podcasts Bookmark This Page! Save To Yahoo My Web Our Blog Feed Has Feed Tracking & Management Provided By FeedBurner - Check Them Out! Web Analytics Provided By ClickTracks - Check Them Out! Search Engine Watch's conference on search engine marketing comes to: February 27 - March 2, 2006 New York, NY March 17 - 18, 2006 Nanjing, China March 30 - 31, 2006 Munich, Germany April 25 - 26, 2006 Toronto, Canada April 26 - 27, 2006 Milan, Italy April 27-28, 2006 Tokyo, Japan May 31 - June 2, 2006 London England July 10-11, 2006 Miami, Florida August 7 - 10, 2006 San Jose, CA Search Engine Watch Marketplace Learn How To Advertise Here! Search Engine Newsletters FREE! Over 150,000 readers depend on our free newsletters to keep upwith search engines. To join them, enter your email below: SearchDay (Daily) Search Engine Report (Monthly) Learn more about our newsletters and feeds Pimp My Mobile Bookmarks As many of you know I come from a research (library) and content background. It was great to hear from several of you who appreciated our first "pimping" post with useful but hidden features of the Internet Movie Database. I think the only one unhappy was my mom when she heard I was now in the Internet pimping business. Oh well. Believe me, there is much more to come in this series about plenty online search and research tools for all. Those of you who read the blog regularly know that two extra special interests of mine are mobile access to information and specialty/vertical databases. Since I regularly talk about both types of tools, I thought I would share a few info resources that I presently have in my bookmarks file of resources optimized for mobile web browsers. Btw, many of these will also work in your regular browser. Here are fifteen of many favorites in no specific order: Bloglines Mobile Rovenet Flight Checker Unlike other mobile web flight checkers, this service gives all sorts of data like altitude, air speed, direction etc. Just like what you would find from many web-based services. Data direct from FAA computers Skweezer.net Compresses and reformats web content for a better looking result (most of the time). National Weather Service for Wireless Browsers ConvertIt.com Time, distance, calculators, etc. Wireless TV Guide FAA Wireless for Airport Delays Speaking of travelling, the mobile version of SeatGuru.com Dictionary.com Basic Business Info via Mobile Version of Hoover's It can help many places including when you get to the gate and they've changed your seat. Wireless TVGuide Basic Business Info via Mobile Version of Hoover's Mobile Searchable Interface to PubMed* * The National Library of Medicine makes a number of mobile info tools available. Posted by Gary Price on Oct. 13, 2005 | Permalink See related stories in these categories! (available to SEW members ) Search Tips , Search Types: Mobile Next Post: Want to Be A Google AdWords Coordinator in China? Previous Post: Nice Work if You Can Get It: Details Emerge About Google's Newest Board Members Stock Package Return To: SEW Blog Home Page Search Engine Watch http://searchenginewatch.com Our Staff Incisive Interactive Marketing LLC. 2005 All rights reserved. Legal Notices, Licensing, Reprints & Permissions , Privacy Policy