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Confessions of a Restaurant Whore: December 2004 BlogThis! CONFESSIONS OF A RESTAURANT WHORE A San Francisco Girl's Down and Dirty Adventures in the Culinary Playground Confessions of a Restaurant Whore A San Francisco Girl's Down and Dirty Adventures in the Culinary Playground -- Show a whore some lovin'. Email Me Where can I eat, bitch? Restaurant Whore's Dining Guide What I Said Before Anyone Got Some Time I Can Borrow? Good Eats (112 Eatery -- Minneapolis, MN) Oops... By the Way Get Your New Year On The Best Five Things About My Christmas Vacation Back In the Saddle The Wool Socks Are Packed I Want Candy (Ame -- San Francisco, CA) S.O.S. Looking Back October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 Food Bloggers I Like Becks and Posh Burrito Eater Chocolate and Zucchini Epicurean Debauchery Food Blog S'cool Food Musings Gastronomie KQED Food Blog San Francisco Gourmet Spicetart Sweetnicks The Food Whore You Gonna Eat That? This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution- NonCommercial-NoDerivs 2.5 License . -- Wednesday, December 22, 2004 'Tis the Season (Seasons Restaurant -- San Francisco, CA) So yesterday I got to be a lady who lunches and eat my noontime repast at the illustrious Four Seasons in their restaurant (which is predictably called "Seasons"). The director of one of the theatres I teach for took a bunch of us to lunch (awww...thanks, Andrew!) as a little end of the semester thank you. I had only eaten at a Four Seasons once before, and that was on my honeymoon in Maui. Curiously enough, that restaurant was also named Seasons. I guess they don't have the creative staff working overtime on naming the restaurants. Anyway, what I remember most from that visit was the service. The hostess actually raced me to my chair as I was returning from the bathroom so she could properly place my napkin back in my lap. It was rock star all the way. Anyway, at our little festive luncheon, I quickly saw that the service at our very own Seasons was going to be just as yummy. The staff was very attentive, answering our every little whim. At a table full of actor/teachers, you can imagine how trying that would be for a server. At any rate, the food was quite good. Not the most amazing food in the world, but everything I ate was expertly prepared, if ordinary. I had a damn fine chicken sandwich with balsamic onions, smoked mozzarella, basil aioli and roasted tomatoes served up nice with some kettle chips. And the tuna poke appetizer was delightful (Jeeves, please bring around the car). I also very much enjoyed the panna cotta that ended our meal. That said, my sandwich was $17. A damn fine sandwich, but not $17 fine. I can get the same thing at Slow Club for $8. You're paying for the atmosphere and service, though, and I have to admit, that's almost worth paying $17 for that sammich. Wow, my posts are heavy on the sammiches lately, huh? Here are the best/most fun/most entertaining to our table things about the restaurant: 1. The fun little hand towels in the bathroom 2. The floor to ceiling doors in the bathroom 3. The view of Grant Street from our table 4. The big comfy chairs 5. The ice cubes in our lemonades and iced teas that were made of lemonade and iced tea (I got to be the smarty pants and tell everyone what the strange ice cubes were -- go me!) 6. The simple syrup in a little tiny pitcher to sweeten the iced tea 7. The little pots of honey that came with the hot tea 8. The sterling silver cone in which my kettle chips were served 9. The oh-so-nice servers/bussers/host(ess) 10. The people watching I would definitely go back again if someone else was paying and/or I was filthy stinking rich. Otherwise, I can live without the impeccable service with my chicken sandwich. I expect service like that in my four star dining experiences, but then I also expect haute cuisine in those experiences as well. Seasons is, in a sense, an oxymoron. But that's OK, 'cause I got to be a laaaaaaaaaaady yesterday. And Jesus Christ, the world would be a better fucking place if everyone treated each other the way the staff at the Four Seasons treats their customers. Happy Holidays to all my faithful readers out there. The best present I received this year was knowing that people who don't live in my house have been reading my shit. Rock on. xoxo Joy "To eat is a necessity, but to eat intelligently is an art." --La Rochefoucauld posted by Joy @ 9:27 PM 0 comments Monday, December 20, 2004 Tonight I Will Be Miss Saigon (Saigon Sandwich -- San Francisco, CA) Sorry kids, it's the holidays so I've been slacking. Dealing with incompetant postal workers, a broken ibook hinge (c'mon Apple, are you really going to charge $300 for that shit?) and an impending trip to Minnesota (rest assured I will return with a full report on the many levels of beige food and jello I get to experience while there). I'm tryin' to get three more posts in before I leave, and then you can check me out in the new year in the ultra hip Mesh magazine. Banh mi. It's a sammich (ie, sandwich). A Vietnamese sandwich to be precise. It's typically got some meat, some veggies, some chilies (hooray!), some homemade mayo, and some magical lovin'. It's served up nice on a French baguette. Slanted Door makes a great banh mi. It's on an Acme baguette with all the delicious trimmins. But it's $7.50. Not bad you say? Hold up bitches, because I'm gonna blow your mind. Saigon Sandwich in the Tenderloin makes these babies for $2. Yes, $2. Sometimes $2.25 depending on what you order. And I dare say that these are the best friggin' banh mi this side of Asia. SS is open from 10:00 am to 5 pm. No dinner. There is always a line out the door. The line is about as coherent as a Dali painting. You're never really sure where your spot is, but you'll get your sammich, don't you worry. Your choices are barbequed chicken, roast pork, shu mai (pork meatball), a spam like lunch meat and a few others. All come on warm and toasty bread that is ultra tasty. And they've got the pickled veggies and mayo (I hate mayo but it melts into the bread and I have to surrender 'cause it's damn good) and CHILIES! I ask for extra chilies. Sometimes I get 'em, sometimes I don't but either way it doesn't matter, 'cause my bomb-diggity super-duper-licious sammich is only $2. I dig the chicken. Jon digs the shu mai. We like to go there and grab some and bring them on airplanes so we have something tasty to eat instead of airline slop. Be prepared for a wait -- it's worth it. Before you know it you'll be running through the streets naked shouting "I can't believe my sammich was only $2!" Kick ass. xoxo Joy "To eat is a necessity, but to eat intelligently is an art." --La Rochefoucauld posted by Joy @ 7:59 PM 0 comments Tuesday, December 14, 2004 Sweet Tart (Tartine -- San Francisco, CA) Let's face it, most croissants in America are greasy, leaden sacks of shit not worth the nasty ass shortening they're made with. Damn fuckers. If you're not going to make your croissant with butter, don't make one at all. Tartine is a happy little spot (helmed by Elizabeth Pruitt and her multi talented staff) at the corner of 18th and Guerrero. And their croissants are so crazy good that you will find yourself eating one in your car because you can't wait until you get to work/home/school to eat it. Damn the crumbs, you're going to eat that croissant, bitches! Tartine's croissants are the perfect amount of crunchy and flaky and chewy. The chocolate croissants are also amazing, although I'm pretty sure that they've got to be illegal. Tartine also has an assortment of cakes, pies, pots de creme, croque monsieurs, cookies, granola, sammiches and other delightful treats for your tongue and tummy. They use organic ingredients, serve wine and one of the sandwiches has foie gras. A corner bakery with foie gras. I fucking love this city. Their coffee sucks, though. But that's what Jon says and he's a picky ho. But fuck it, you should be picky because, really, there's no excuse for a shitty cup of coffee. Especially at a place where everything else is so mind altering-ly good. Oh, don't count on eating it there -- the tables are always full. Just go ahead and scarf it all down in your car. Make Tartine your secret lov-ah. xoxo Joy "To eat is a necessity, but to eat intelligently is an art." --La Rochefoucauld posted by Joy @ 11:01 PM 3 comments Friday, December 10, 2004 Fungal infection (White Truffles) $2000 a pound. That's about what these babies go for. Which babies, you ask? Why, white truffles, of course. That's one expensive fungus. But that's because they are delicious. Truffle season is short. So you gots to get your eatin' on if you want some of the goodness. Here's my little 2004 truffle story. We love truffles. Black ones, white ones, whatever. That perfumey smell makes me weak in the knees. The white ones are rarer, and therefore more expensive. Anyway... In 2001, we were going to go to Piedmont with Kathy and Bob. They are my aunt and uncle. Sort of. Kathy is my mom's stepsister. More importantly, they are our friends and favorite dining companions despite the three decades between us. Bob is a wine distributor, so he's got some connections in the part of the world where truffles are harvested (ie, dug up by dogs and pigs). So the four of us were going to go in October of 2001 to go on a truffle hunt and eat and drink ourselves silly. But then September 11 happened and we didn't have any plans yet so we just didn't go. It's still on my to do list. So, K & B call and invite us to go eat truffles with them at Acquerello . I'll post more on Acquerello later, but it's a lovely, if pricey, Italian restaurant in a renovated church. We, of course, say yes. A few days earlier, our darlings at Delfina put us on a list for the next time that THEY got white truffles. We heard that we had missed some the previous week and I spent the whole night sobbing in the bathtub with a big bottle of malt liquor. OK, not really. But I was sad. Wednesday night. We meet K & B. Drink some fan-fucking-tastic Pinot and Barolo that Bob brought. Eat thin slivers of white truffles on poached eggs and pasta and risotto (Oh my!). Go home deliriously happy. The only sucky part was the bill. Acquerello ass rapes you for those beauties. We arrive home and check our voicemail. It's Christie. From Delfina . They will have truffles on Thursday and Friday night if we want to come in. Oh shit. So we figure, what the hell, truffle season is short and we're so good at hemorrhaging money, why not? Friday was out so we just went on Thursday. At Delfina, we just had them on straight up pasta AND (dare I say it?) it was at least as good, if not better, at almost half the price. When the plates came, we stuck our noses down into the pasta and took a deep inhale. Yeah, I know. We have a problem. But there ain't nothing like them. Then we had rice pudding with white truffle oil for dessert. I am such a slut. White truffles two nights in a row. Oooo, baby, you know that's how I like it. xoxo Joy "To eat is a necessity, but to eat intelligently is an art." --La Rochefoucauld posted by Joy @ 5:49 PM 0 comments Top Five for December Here are my five favorite things about food in December: 1. White Truffles (more to come). 2. Hot Chocolate, I'm a sucker for it (the drink, not the group). 3. Latkes. Working at a Jewish school has its advantages. 4. Squid. The squid coming out of Monterey in the winter is just so good it's stupid. 5. Bread and rice puddings. I can come up with seven more if anyone wants to gift me twelve days of Christmas style. xoxo Joy "To eat is a necessity, but to eat intelligently is an art." --La Rochefoucauld posted by Joy @ 11:53 AM 0 comments Tuesday, December 07, 2004 My One True Love (Delfina -- San Francisco, CA and Da Delfina -- Artimino, Italy) Ribollita. The food of the Gods. OK, not really. It's actually peasant food. But it is DAMN good. Ribollita is Tuscan bread soup filled with cannelini beans, cavelo nero (a kale-like green), bread and yummy yum yums (that's a technical term). Then, it's stuck in a fridge to get all congeal-y and then it's FRIED. Fried soup. It's like a little blanket for your insides. It rocks. The first place Jon and I ever had ribollita was at Delfina . Delfina opened about 3 months after we, ourselves, moved to San Francisco. We made the pilgrimage from our shithole apartment about a week after they opened. As it was only 3 and a half blocks away, it wasn't a huge commitment. Or so we thought. From the moment we stepped in, we were in love. At the time, it was about a third the size it is now (if that). They described ribollita for us, and we figured eh, what the hell, how bad can it be? Well, I sure as hell may be a restaurant whore, but at that moment, I was ready to kiss my whorin' days goodbye and settle down. I love Delfina so much that it gets me all choked up just thinking about it. This is going to be a gushy post, so if that's going to wig you out, either suck it up or stop reading. Because I loooooooove them. It's taken me a long time to get to this post because I knew it would be a biggie. So settle in and get ready...here goes: The food. Ribollita yes. Simple-as-pie-but-delicious-as-hell spaghetti with plum tomatoes. For that matter, any pasta at all. The soups. Oh, dear God, the incredible soups (chickpea, Jerusalem artichoke, pappa al pomodoro, etc.). They just blow your mind. Grilled calamari and white bean salad where the beans are as good as those we had at French Laundry. The insalata del campo with everything good in the world in it. The panna cotta, the profiteroles, the crostatas....Oh, fuck it. It's all amazing. It's everything you hope, wish and dream for in your deepest fantasies. And special occasions bring special food, like the Bucatini with lobster and rice pudding with truffles that we eat each New Year's Eve. Craig and Annie Stoll. The owners. These people are the best people you could know. I have never, ever seen people so devoted to their business, their staff, their customers. They are so loyal. They will bend over backwards for their regulars. They take such good care of us, it makes me feel guilty. Here's the thing about Craig and Annie. They hire staff as devoted to their customers as they, themselves are. The staff are so amazing at their jobs, and so kind and wonderful (gush, gush, gush). I love them. I mean that. I LOVE THEM. And they treat us like friends instead of paychecks when we come in. LOVE THEM. We have been to Delfina during our highest ups and our lowest downs. Some examples: Losing a job, getting a new one, grieving a death, entertaining guests, celebrating birthdays, buying a home, moving, losing a friend, reconnecting with each other after hectic weeks apart, the aforementioned New Year's celebrations. And then there are the big ones. Such as September 11, 2001 when our families were on the east coast and we were lost. We wandered into Delfina and they told us they didn't know what to do but stay open and we told them that we didn't know what to do but turn off the TV and start walking in their direction. And the time when we packed up that same shithole apartment, to move to our beautiful new home. It was a happy thing that we were moving, but six years of our lives had been spent in that apartment during which time we had gone from dating to married, purchased a cat (hooray for Charlie!), gained and lost friends. It was a huge chunk of our lives. So when we shut the door for the last time, we felt strangely sad. And we walked straight to Delfina. After all, we'd now be 7 blocks away instead of 3 and a half. And they took care of us, as always. It's nights like those that made us come up with the code word "home" when referring to Delfina. As in "Where would you like to go for your birthday?" "Home." It is where we go when we want and/or need to share something important in our lives. Delfina is the restaurant we'd choose if we had to eat at only one place for the rest of our lives. So it is only fitting that when we were in Italy last September, we made a pilgrimage to Da Delfina in Tuscany, where Craig had studied. We arrived in Florence with Jon's super wonderful but disorganized family (5 of us total) and wandered the streets with a shitload of luggage trying to find our hotel. Yes, Florence has cabs. But why take one when you can avoid making a decision and blindly stumble around like jackasses? Anyway, we found our hotel, threw our stuff in the door and made our way back out to the train station (We did this alone, we would be meeting Jon's family in Siena in the evening. Delfina is so personal to us that we felt we needed to go alone). We took a train to the town of Signa (one stop away, but there are only a few trains a day that go there). Once in Signa, we thought we'd take a cab to Artimino. Nice try. No cabs at the station. So we go into a ghetto hotel and ask them to call us one. We feel bad, so Jon goes to the bar and orders a shot of tequila for their troubles. Nice. So our "cab" arrives. It's a minivan with an older dude inside. As we wind through the hills, he describes everything we're seeing. In Italian. But it's so beautiful, and he's so good natured, that we don't care. And then we get there. There she is in all her glory. Da Delfina. And when I say that, I mean the restaurant and Delfina herself, sitting in the foyer. Delfina is in her 90's and she is beautiful. Carlo, the owner, looks at the young Americans like "What the hell are you here for?" But he seats us anyway. At a table overlooking the Tuscan countryside. We spent the whole meal with tears streaming down our faces. We felt like we had returned to the mothership. We order everything. I order the Tuscan bread soup (ribollita, before it becomes ribollita, if you follow...Carlo was very concerned that I knew this). And in everything we ate, we saw our own Delfina's roots. Jon's guinea hen was a clear ancestor of Craig's chicken, the chicken liver crostini was almost identical, etc. We each had an appetizer, a primi, a secondi. Plus wine. A lot of wine. By the time we got to secondi, I thought I was going to hurl. It was so amazing but it was also a shitload of food. When I let the last third of my salt cod go, Carlo asked me about four thousand times if it was OK. Damn, people, I just can't eat that much food! Nevertheless, they talked us into ordering dessert. Very Tuscan, very good, but again, on the verge of hurling. In between, we received vin santo and some Sangiovese grapes grown by the older Americans at the table behind us. Well it turns out the guy growing the grapes was a trustee at the college Jon and I went to. And he and his wife ended up inviting us to their Tuscan villa. But alas, we needed to meet Jon's family and only had 2 short days left in Italy. Damn. But how fucking cool is that? By the time we left, Carlo was hugging us and we were giving him some of the fake tattoos from the SF Delfina. And when our nice man in the minivan came to take us back to the train station, we were grateful for the meal of a lifetime (at only $110 euro, no less). When there are places in the world like Delfina and Da Delfina, why settle for anything less, ever? xoxo Joy "To eat is a necessity, but to eat intelligently is an art." --La Rochefoucauld posted by Joy @ 7:44 AM 2 comments

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Ooze Magazine yyyy OOZE MAGAZINE PROUDLY PRESENTS ITS ON-GOING PROJECT: OOZETV VIDEOS! 8 new films! BACK ISSUES 1994-2002 The Sex Issue 50 Years of Ooze THE FINGER Science Fiction Foreigners Teens Xmas Back-to-School Slime Issue Traveling with Ooze ...and more Order Crap Great Price THE FINGER: A Comprehensive Guide to Flipping Off - We wrote it $10 Ooze T-shirts-$10 Ooze Stickers-$1 Disco Jesus shirts and posters-$4 + $10 PRANKS THE FORCE IS A TOOL OF SATAN If George Lucas makes the 7th Sequel to Star Wars - we all die! EL CULO NEGRO for Vice President Our unsuccessful bid to run a Mexican wrestler on the Democratic ticket. PWEETA - People Who Enjoy Eating Tasty Animals We want you to EAT MORE MEAT! About Ooze Who is Ooze? See their compromising photos, and their even more compromising biographies. Live Shows Ooze performs LIVE in Los Angeles and other cities- just not right now. Look here for reviews of past performances, new bookings, and more. Or you can book 'em yourself . THE FINGER: A Great Gift Book Ever wonder who was the first person to flip someone off? I bet you didn't know if happened more than 2500 years ago. THE FINGER is a gift that keeps on giving special love for as long as the paper isn't rotting in a dumpster. GREAT GIFT! Get it from Ooze . Get it from Amazon . FREE ipod Nano! Or Mini Mac! Or a flatscreen The latest in internet marketing scams that even WIRED can't pinpoint quite how it works, but it does . We got a FREE IPOD in time for Xmas. Do Ooze a favor and click those top links and sign up for something you can cancel. PLEASE! Smell the Brussels Sewer! Get Ooze Updates! Want oozing hi-larity delivered to your very own electronic mailbox? Who doesn't? Get the latest word on where Ooze is performing, and when new stuff appears on this very website. Just send us a message that says: I WANT OOZE! subscribeme@ooze.com Search All of Ooze Find: Search the Buttload of Ooze Search: All Products Apparel Baby Beauty Books DVD Electronics Home Gourmet Food Health Care Watches Kitchen Magazines Instruments Music Computers Camera & Photo Software Outdoors Tools Toys & Games VHS Video Games Cell Phones Enter keywords... Ooze Wants You To Search for Amazon Products! THIS IS THE ONLY WAY WE MAKE $! The Sewer Tour is Sponsored in part by Justin Hall's links.net . Justin held a contest in March where we won a round-trip ticket to anywhere in the world for our sewer tour. Thanks! MDT COMMUNICATIONS gave us one of their international cell phones they rent out to people in the Los Angeles area . web ooze.com DinGLE BLOG The Dingleberrys have a new blog over on myspace . Follow their fortnightly adventures as three giant animals try to make their way through the LA Rock Scene and Become Famous . They are retarded. note : you can now JOIN our new RSS feed and submit crap that's yours or that you find somewhere. GO NOW! NEW RSS FEED! - YOU CAN JOIN oozeTV has a new sibling - the oozeTV RSS feed ! Take a peek. Right now there are two ALL-NEW videos up there (and not here) ROBOTS GONE WILD and ALIEN SEX PARTY . Got any videos you want to share? Anyone can link stuff in our Odd Video Collection. After 11 years of not listening to you, Ooze suddenly CARES . HOLLYWOOD SEX TOUR VIDEO Ooze convinces seven unsuspecting tourists in Hollywood to get into a van with us for two hours to see where celebrity scandals happened. We visit the toilet where cops caught George Michael jerking off, the alley Eddie Murphy picked up a foot fetishist cross dresser, where Hugh Grant got his money for his infamous blow job and much much more. Real tour operators felt so threatened they tried to bust us for operating a tour without a licence! See it on OOZETV FREE ipod Nano! Get one, bitch. It's a pyramid scheme that works. Last year I got a free ipod. This year, I want a Nano. You just sucker five friends and yourself to sign up for stupid stuff, and they ship you this thing. I SWEAR. Ooze Editor's L.A. Movie Premeire Ooze Editor MJ Loheed premieres his feature film, FREEZE OUT at the Westwood Film Festival on Sun. Oct. 12 -10:30 pm at the Crest Theatre. It's a comedy about people so into poker, they lose track of the important things in life - like lying to your friends, having sex and cheating - but instead play poker. Or is it the other way around? 1262 Westwood Blvd. LA. The Cast includes Real Celebrities! Click on the link above to find out more or listen to MJ on the radio talking about the movie. IGN.COM Star Wars is Evil Film Mortimer Fontaine of toolofsatan.org was recently spotted on video talking about the Evil of Star Wars to the Mega Gaming Site Now Owned By Fox. Best explanation of the Soul Destroying Nature of Star Wars caught on film. Click the fat face at the bottom to watch. thedingleberrys.com The Dingleberrys are the #1 Band in the World. Their website has a song and video on it, with more to come along with a myspace page! All the Kids like the Dinglberrys Rock! Make them your MYSPACE friends. (They don't have any except for that guy everyone gets) TAP TREK.com You gotta see Tap Trek . Why? Star Trek . Tap Dance . Need I say more? In this new video, the crew of the USS Shufflin' Foot fights Abraham Lincoln for control of the UNIVERSE ! R2-DEMON2 Shirts! Sizes Medium Large Extra Large $17.99 includes domestic shipping People are Stupid Millions of people have visited Tool of Satan , and that's just swell. But this time, (as opposed to 1999) not only do we get reams of hate mail for an obvious joke (many many clues) - we have the world of blogs to peruse. Blogs that post their "thoughts" - and when they finally figure out it's a joke, get to post more. Usually they think it's a bad joke, since they didn't get it themselves. I guess they missed the point. They are the joke. Mostly because people mouth off without thinking. Way too many links to post, so just go to google and look up "toolofsatan" or "r-2-demon-2" and see for yourself. STAR WARS PROTEST GIFT BAGS People have gone super nutty on Tool of Satan . There is even an ebay auction selling the "tools" Target Gift Bags (for very little.) Read about that and more in our very functional Tool of Satan Forums . (new) STAR WARS PROTEST We protest the new Star Wars (again). basically we went to the opening of Star Wars and passed out these flyers . People freaked. See new hyper-christian pamphleteering at the Tool of Satan . Pointless Message Board Talk crap about whatever you want. I set this up so Ooze readers can make their own content for each other and I don't have to. Ooze Message Board . Café Press Deletes "Offensive" Material Citing potential riots, Cafe Press officially removed all "I (heart) Niggers" and "I lIke Kikes" merchandise from the Ooze Store. We adhere to our stand that these shirts are Peace Loving and not racist or offensive. Sadly, it was also our best selling item. If you do like them , please write to us and we'll put you on a list. We're printing a bunch up ourselves! FREE Mini Mac! Get Yours Here!. This internet marketing scams works! We got a FREE IPOD in time for Xmas. Even WIRED can't pinpoint how it works, but it does. Do Ooze a favor and click the top link and sign up for something you can cancel. (SIGN UP for the infone one - it requires a credit card, but does not charge you!) Then you can get a free computer too. Chompo's Lost Lunch One-eye dogs, rainbows, unicorns, and corruption at the highest levels. Ooze's latest family entertainment bonanza is finally finished. 30 pages of doggie fun . Buy Ooze Stuff We've completely revamped the order page -making it much easier to read - and added a whole bunch of new items to t he Cafe Press Shoppee . It has to be seen to be believed. Color Jesus T's, Baby with Fork in Head infantwear, an I (heart) Nigger teddy bear (and T-Shirt), I Like Kikes bumper stickers, and lots and lots of Chompo stuff. Buy Chompo Stuff Visit Chompo's Shoppee and get t-shirts, undie-pants, lunch boxes and more. CHOMPO SCHWAG for XMAS! chompo.com Ooze's popular one-eyed dog, Chompo, now has her own website at chompo.com . This is a no-toothed Chompo fest filled with pictures, videos, animations, stories, and Chompo Merchandise. The Flash Storybook™ Chompo's Lost Lunch is a tour d' force of storytelling - with a cliffhanger ending! Obey the iFilm OBEY THE SIGNS... AND LIVE! is now featured on ifilm . Why see it on a Big Website when you can see it here with out all the crappy ads? It'll be bigger, faster, and put less of a load on our servers and will make us feel cool when lots of people see it and knock on our e-door and make us rich and famous. George Bush "Flip-Off" See the President Flip the Bird LATE BREAKING FINGER NEWS When George Bush was Governor of Texas he gave the camera a "One-Fingered Salute" before going on the air. While Bush may not have been the Commander-in-Chief at the time, this video is historically significant because the highest ranking U.S. official caught flipping someone off previously was Vice-President Nelson Rockefeller in 1975. Mr. Rockefeller was thought to be in the first stages of dementia at the time and died two years later. The same thing could be argued about Bush, but two years later he was made President. (1.1 mb) In July 2004, a protestor reported that Mr. Bush had given HIM the finger, but alas no camera caught the offending gesture. Ooze at Los Angeles (area)Film Festival The Century City Film Festival is sort of proud to present OBEY THE SIGNS... AND LIVE! on the big screen in... Hollywood. Why see it on the Big Screen when you can see it for free online? It'll be, BIGGER, and will make us feel better when you laugh and the rest of the audience is horrified. Want this film in your festival? Event is Over Ooze Guy on 1010 WINS The Finger New York news radio reports on the Finger in america and talks to MATT PATTERSON. (1.5 meg mp3 file) Ooze Guy on NPR This American Life Eddie Schmidt whores out his family to Ira Glass on "This American Life." Ed talks about a piece of cheese that cost his parents $10,000. My Brother's Wedding OOZETV Do you care ? My brother got married and I happened to hold the video camera. I figured I worked on it enough, I might as well share it with the world... IRAQI PRISON SCANDAL PHOTOS Abu Ghraib Photo Shocker Due to the Freedom of Information Act, Ooze has received some shocking new photos of further abuse by the Army on Iraqi prisoners . SEVEN NEW FILMS OOZETV Haven't been to Ooze in a while? See SEVEN new OozeTV episodes. Dildos, Priests, Dogs, NEW CULO NEGRO FOOTAGE, Signs, and the scariest Cream Pie Fight you'll ever see . NEW "award winning" FILM OBEY THE SIGNS ... AND LIVE! Fresh from TROMADANCE 2004 , Ooze's travesty of filmmaking is available for download. Rules exist for a reason, and signs quickly and effectively tell you what to do. If you don’t obey the signs, you could die ...or worse. Le Journál d' Sewer Ooze visited Foreign Parts investigating sewer tours in 10 European cities. Why would anyone want to visit a filthy poo canal? That's what we wanted to know too, since each of these cities has some sort of tour or museum dedicated to sewerage open to the public. To see our regular Humorous Pieces access The Sex Issue or any of our other Back Issues including the World Famous site, THE FINGER where you can read excerpts and order copies of the GREATEST BOOK EVER WRITTEN. Our Plan Why are we going into some of the World's Filthiest Places? Because we can! Read our plan and what you can expect to see if you come back. Rip roaing adventurous fun. (updated) Planning Your Own Sewer Tour Want to waltz through the rivers of waste like Ooze? We've given you all the information you need to see the murk of 12 cities. There's other stuff (like culture and buildings) at these places too, but who cares? © 2003, 1994 - 2003 Ooze Magazine All Rights Reserved

my space' By Laura

MSN Dating & Personals - 'I need my space' -- Web Search: MSN Home My MSN Hotmail Shopping Money People & Chat Sign In Dating & Personals Help Home My Match.com How Match.com Works Article Archive Find Your Match Search for Men Search for Women Dating & Relating Suddenly Single Faith-Based Gay & Lesbian Not a member? Sign up for FREE! Username Password Remember me Forgot your password? Contact Us FAQs MSN Alerts Newsletter Privacy Policy Out & About Most popular on MSN Dear Prudence Workplace first impressions Gay & Lesbian 'I need my space' By Laura Leu It’s the three-word phrase that sends your worst fears spiraling—“I need space.” Does the date you’ve grown so fond of really mean “I need space, but stick around because I’m working on my issues and we’re going to be a killer couple once I’m able to give you what you deserve?” We all hope so. Then again, it could mean, “I’m trying to dump you, but I’m too chicken to say so.” Experts and real people weigh in on how to keep your dignity in this situation… and hopefully the relationship, too. Search for Singles I am a Seeking Between and M W M W 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 located miles of Photos only -- Whose relationship history includes... Whose faith is... Custom search Examine your relationship beyond the bedroom. You don’t necessarily have to be in a good relationship to have sex that knocks your socks (and pants, undies, etc.) off. “Sometimes couples get what I call ‘lust blindness,’ where the sex is fabulous, but that's all there really is,” says Philippa Courtney, author of 4 Steps to Bring the Right Person into Your Life Right Now! The danger is when one partner starts fantasizing that there’s more of a connection than the carnal one. “If a partner is pulling away, take an honest look at the relationship beyond the bedroom,” she says. If good sex is all you have, then that’s probably all you’ll ever have. Your mission: If you two have an emotional connection outside the bedroom, give the downtime a shot. If there’s nothing other than what goes on between the sheets, this is the time to make peace with walking away. Give them what they ask for… The first thing to do if you’re hoping for a successful long-term relationship is respect your partner’s boundaries when they start trusting you with their needs—like wanting space. Trying to talk a date out of spending less time together will only backfire, extinguishing any glimmer of hope for the relationship’s future. “I wanted to see one date less, so I tried to slow things down, but this person decided that hanging out with me even more would make me fall in love and get serious,” says Mike, 25, from Westchester, NY. “Then I actually felt suffocated and cut ties off altogether.” So if someone says the “I need space” line to you, don’t become accusatory or demanding. Ask yourself if you’d be comfortable with a slower pace and someone who’s not ready to jump in full-speed ahead, as you are. If you can honestly live with that for a while without your self-esteem suffering, give it a shot. But if, on the other hand, you feel that your feelings aren’t reciprocated, this can be your wakeup call to make sure you’re tending to your own life and needs versus just creating a happy couplehood. …But never give it twice. A relationship is ideally something that both of you can rely on, even though there will be ebbs and flows. If one partner controls all the starts and stops, it creates an imbalanced power dynamic that spells trouble for a future together. In other words, heed the old adage: “Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.” “If any person comes back and asks for space after you already backed off once, give them space by promptly changing your number,” says Laurie Frankel, author of It's Not Me...It's You! And Can We Not be Friends? “If you just do it again, you’re allowing him to disrespect you. A guy will treat you as well or as poorly as you let him.” Set deadlines. Deadlines help you set and reach goals—and not just at your job. When your date is wielding excuses — busy at work, confused about some feelings for an ex, not sure whether to get so serious so soon — give them a deadline to get his or her act together or risk losing you. If your honey is serious about being with you, he or she will get right to work. If the object of your affection makes no effort to change, at least you’ll know you gave the person, and the relationship, a fair shot. “I dated someone who would flirt with me until it seemed like it was getting serious, then vanish for a couple of days, only to resurface with some weird excuse,” says Stephanie of Edison, NJ. Stephanie finally got fed up and put her honey on a six-month ban. “I said, ‘Work out your issues and figure out how you feel about me,’” she says. “‘If you’re 100% ready to move forward with me in six months, call me; otherwise, good-bye.’” Pay attention to your watch. If you find yourself constantly playing the waiting game with your partner, chances are, you’re being subtly downgraded from primary date status—with an eye toward possible dumping. “Time is a major non-verbal communicator,” says Lisa Daily, author of Stop Getting Dumped! “If he keeps you waiting, it’s a sign his interest is waning.” She says the same thing’s true if your plans start becoming less and less reliable. When a relationship’s solidifying, you’re more likely to fall into a routine than have to start wondering when you’ll get together again. “If he starts waiting until the last minute to make plans with you, he may be hoping something better will come along,” says Daily. And whose self-esteem should be forced to endure that? You most certainly deserve better! New York City freelance writer Laura Leu has written for Stuff, Maxim, and Sync and contributed to Naked Ambition. Why subscribe to Match.com on MSN Dating & Personals? • Email any of our millions of members • Access to millions of profiles and photos • Find singles who live near you • Share your interests with other singles Start a conversation. Email this article to a friend Printer friendly version More On Gay & Lesbian Dating an older guy How shy guys can win at love Gay & Lesbian Archive MSN Shopping 2005 Microsoft MSN Privacy Legal Advertise Feedback Help --

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