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www.myspace.com/smartbunny MySpace.com | Home The Web MySpace Help | SignUp Home | Browse | Search | Invite | Rank | Mail | Blog | Favorites | Forum | Groups | Events | Games | Music | Classifieds smartbunny "have another slice." Female 39 years old NYC Area, NEW YORK United States Last Login: 1/10/2006 View More Pics Contactingsmartbunny MySpace URL: http://www.myspace.com/smartbunny smartbunny's Interests General artistic influences: rabbits, cake, tea sets, robots, the colors pink, black and lime green, photoblogging, american roadside souvenir shops, modern art, 60's-70's kitsch, 50's googie design (atomic, space-age), Japanese cute, dots and circles, sans-serif, glasses, skulls, spikes, horror B-Movies from the 50's & 60's, metal and plastic, mid-century decor, theimaginaryworld.com, Dia De Los Muertos, Sanrio, Ariel Bordeaux, Kate Gleeson, Liza Lou, Bruce Nauman, Warhol, Litchenstein, Weird NJ. The many many DIY-people who dare to go beyond needlepoint samplers and googly-eyed rocks. Books The Art of Barbie (by Craig Yoe, who did not hire me), Girly Collectibles, Pop Art: A Continuing History, Covers & Jackets: What The Best-Dressed Books and Magazines Are Wearing, The Happy Mutant Handbook, Kate Gleeson, Miffy, Kaiju's Guide To City-Crushing Monsters, The Sandman, Death: The High Cost of Living, Krazy Kid's Food by Dan Goodsell and Steve Roden. Groups: Patton Oswalt's Team Crappy Apartment , The Coolest Dutch Bunnies Around! View All smartbunny's Groups smartbunny's Details Status: Single Here for: Networking Zodiac Sign: Libra Smoke / Drink: No / No Occupation: artist & designer smartbunny's Networking Fashion - Design - Designer smartbunny designs makes t-shirts, bags and accessories as well as jewelry and crafty items for the home... the designs are basic, bold and bright and range from cute and funny to gothic and funny! Visit http://www.smartbunny.net Marketing - Sales - Sales smartbunny designs seeks stores and places to sell my designs to; visit http://www.smartbunny.net smartbunny is in your extended network smartbunny's Latest Blog Entry [ Subscribe to this Blog ] spreadshirt.com ( view more ) various&sundry ( view more ) [ View All Blog Entries ] smartbunny's Blurbs About me: www.smartbunny.net Original t-shirts, stickers, buttons, bags and more... smartbunny designs + bunnies, rock, poseurs, geek, metal, smart, glasses, naked boobies! + creepygirls, spiders, skulls, evil cupcakes, naked boobies! + TV dinners, cake, pizza boxes, cereal, killer candy, naked boobies! HARDWEAR industrial jewelry + earrings, necklaces, rings made from hardware and metal stuff. + CLICK ON "VIEW MORE PICS" TO SEE MY DESIGNS! + robin@smartbunny.net Who I'd like to meet: smartbunny is here to meet crafty, DIY people, artists, t-shirt afficiandos, pop art enthusiasts and funny nerds. smartbunny's Friend Space smartbunny has 100 friends. Dressy Bessy DREAM INTO DUST Solarian Studios Stephanie Brian Posehn Zach Galifianakis aka Baklava Rodriquez Paul F Tompkins Brian View All ofsmartbunny's Friends smartbunny's Friends Comments Displaying 19 of 23 comments ( View/Edit All Comments ) Brian 1/7/2006 10:11:00 AM Rusty Bobo. Brian 11/29/2005 7:42:00 PM You're a hamster ma'am, YOU'RE a hamster!!! Gram Rabbit 11/28/2005 8:26:00 PM Us Rabbits gotta Stick together. The Horrible 11/23/2005 12:02:00 AM Dying Breed Designs 10/31/2005 5:28:00 PM oh robin this is you!! thanks for letting me know you got your stuff and that you liked it all!! sooo cool...thanks for the support! don't be a stranger, say hi to me again sometime!! come back and i'll give you even more cool stuff! i'm so glad you enjoyed it... lorrie mae DYING BREED Brian 10/29/2005 10:17:00 AM Race war!! You can be captain, I'm gonna be sergeant. Teeth Perpetua 10/29/2005 1:04:00 AM donna 10/18/2005 3:43:00 AM HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROBIN!!!!! Brian 10/17/2005 4:32:00 PM I honestly can't imagine what it would be like if Jack Nicholson was a flabbity bloo. Maybe Kevin Pollak does that impression. Dressy Bessy 10/14/2005 9:35:00 PM Right oN! ultrabunny 10/6/2005 5:39:00 PM just saying hi... Brian 8/28/2005 7:06:00 PM You..vondruke! urbinadesigns.com 8/22/2005 11:10:00 AM Thanks! Purple is a favorite color for me, so Amethyst is a natural choice. I love to trade with other artists, by the way, hint hint... The Hamster Alliance 6/28/2005 8:55:00 PM !!! ARF !!! Return to Reason 6/25/2005 7:20:00 PM Chris Jericho 6/14/2005 2:25:00 PM Yes, I was cheated by Lance Storm on Sunday, but I look at it this way, he has to cheat to win, I guess thats why it was his last match and I'm still going strong! I appreciate the comment and keep them coming. May God bless you and keep you well. -Sincerly- Chris Jericho 'Ol Dirty Bunny 6/6/2005 7:22:00 PM you have some cool stuff! CINDY 6/5/2005 5:24:00 PM Have a good week! NightBird 6/5/2005 7:41:00 AM I'm so glad I found you. I am absolutely tickled by your artwork and your merchandise. Oh my Gawd! The Carol Channing "Scary" shirt had me laugh-crying. You are quite the designer. Nice to meet you... :-) Add Comment About | FAQ | Terms | Privacy | " target="_blank" Safety Tips | Contact Myspace | Promote! | Advertise | MySpace Shop ©2003 MySpace.com. All Rights Reserved.
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Myspace Graphic Help MyspaceGraphicHelp.com myspace,layouts,music codes,video codes,html tutorial,html,graphics, codes, free, contact tables, resources,design,help, icons Menu - Animations 1 - Animations 2 - Animations 3 - Animations 4 - Animations 5 - Animations 6 - Animations 7 - Glitter 1 - Glitter 2 - Glitter 3 - Glitter 4 - Glitter 5 - Alcohol & Drugs - Animated - Brands - Cars - Colors - Evil & Dark - Girly - Movies & TV - Musicians - Sexy - Space - Sports - Video Games - Other - Banners 1 - Banners 2 - Banners 3 - Banners 4 - Banners 5 - Banners 6 - Online Now 1 - Online Now 2 - Image Scroller - Glowing Text - Text Boxes - Scrolling Friends - Center All Text - Page Border - Flip Page - Hide Friends Add Me To Your Friends Myspace Graphic Help Myspace Graphic Help offers more graphics than any other website. And we also have large amounts of html and webdesign help. :: Contact Me :: -Please contact me if you have seen any of my contact tables on any other site. -Also contact me for a link exchange. -Any other reasons that you may have to get in touch with me are fine as well. -Do not email me if you need specific help with something on this site, myspace or anything else. All help questions can be answered in the FORUM . Or email me on your own, my email is MarkArruda22@hotmail.com Link Exchanges Make Money Myspace Glitters Funny Pictures Myspace Celebs MyGen Myspace Tweaks D's Myspace Html My Cute Space Myspace Games Free Layouts Myspace Pictures Myspace Codes Myspace Pranks Video Code Lab Pimp My Com Stuff All Free Music Video Codes More Links Your Ad Here 2005 Myspace Graphic Help All images are for myspace use only. Contact Me
Whore Train
eXile - Issue #185 - Whore-R Stories - The Coal Miner's Daughter - By Mark Ames Moscow-based alternativenewspaper Search the eXile All Issues This Issue This Author This Column | Advanced Search... Email thousands of beautiful Russian Ladies! Home | Archive | Club Guide | Restaurant Guide | Songs | Field Guide To Moscow | Political Trading Cards | About Us Browse Column (19) Previous (12) Next (6) The Coal Miner's Daughter By Mark Ames ( editor at exile ru ) Browse Author (147) Previous (101) Next (44) I went to two parties and two nightclubs over the weekend, and the whole time I don't think I talked to a single woman. Or if I did, I don't remember it. That's because I had about as much lust in me as a box of fax paper. As Sunday night wore on and I was supposed to get started on this issue, I started to feel the first little jolts of lust shocking my loins. It always happens this way when I have a lot of work to do, and I've let that work fester without treating it. So rather than write, I hooked onto www.vipdosug.ru and found myself a whore. Her name was listed as "Lara," and she appeared to have a thin, taut young body, long red hair and nice small breasts that I could cup in my hands. She claimed that she was 20 years old, though by her picture she appeared to be 18. And she charged $100 for a two hour visit. When I called and gave her my address, it was clear she was an out-of-towner. I had to explain where I live a few times. She promised to be over in an hour, but since she "lived" (to the extent that a whore lives somewhere) only two metro stops away, she was at my podezd within 40 minutes. The dezhurnaya downstairs called my home phone. "Mark! A dyevushka's here to see you!" she barked, disapprovingly as always. It's strange, you pay those old babushka a quarterly stipend to "protect" you, and all they do is make you feel self-conscious every time you order a whore delivered to your door. Where's the logic in that, I ask. When she arrived at the door, I could see why the dezhurnaya was a little more gruff than normal. My whore was accompanied by a thug who looked like something right out of a Dorozhny Patrul jail line-up: he was thick, about six feet tall, in a black leather coat, black pants, and one of those black leather ski caps with the black cloth rim, and thick flat-toed shoes. I caught it all in one glance because I've seen these "collectors" join their whores about 20% of the time, and they all look and dress alike. As per their orders, I paid the "courier," the guy whose job it was to collect the cash. I closed the door and he left. Lara didn't look a whole lot like her photo, but as I've said many times, we're talking about used cars here, folks. They always look a lot cleaner and shinier in the photo than they do in person. Lara had dyed her hair black, and that made her face seem much harsher than in the photo. The features were more chiseled and broad and square rather than soft and angled and young. Her teeth had large gaps. She wore a black t-shirt with the word "Love" written in pink and gold sparkles, and black pants laced on the calf. She entered my kitchen then stared out of the window down onto the Moscow river. "Klass," she said. "This is the nicest view of any apartment I've been to in Moscow, and I've been to a lot. Oh, I could really imagine spending time here. Yes. Just sitting here in the summer, watching the barges go up the river. That would be so nice. Yeah, I could live here." "Where are you from?" I asked. "From Ukraine," she said. Thank God for Ukraine, I thought. Some day, I'm going to have to give something back to that country for all it's given me. Buy Ukrainian Savings Bonds or something. "Where in Ukraine?" "You know Ukraine?" she asked in disbelief. "Some of it, yeah. I've been there a few times." "I'm from the Donbass region. The coal mines near Donetsk. I'm from Lugansk myself." "I know Lugansk, but I haven't been there." "There's nothing in Lugansk," she said. "It's dead. We have miners. They don't get paid. They work. They die. The state steals everything from them. But they keep working and keep dying. It's an awful place. Everything in Ukraine is awful. It's the worst governed state in the world." "Are there a lot of beautiful girls like you there?" I asked, flattering her. She wasn't beautiful, although she did have energy and that softened her hard face somewhat. "No, all the beautiful girls left Lugansk. Like me -- we're all gone!" "How did you get to Moscow?" "I took a train. See -- let me go back. I was a student. Well, I never studied. I was a bad student. I wanted to become a hair stylist, but I didn't do it. I was too wild, I couldn't sit still! I was also a sportsman. I did kickboxing until two years ago. I still know it." "Have you ever had to use kickboxing?" "For this...job?" she asked. Her face grew suddenly dour. "Yes, it's...let's say it helped me. I'd rather not remember it, okay? Do you mind if I smoke?" "Go ahead. So when did you lose your virginity?" "I was sixteen. I heard that if you waited longer, it would only hurt more and more. So I got it out of the way. I was stupid. Well, anyway I met a guy. We fell in love -- I did anyway. He said all sorts of things to me. Then I had a baby. And he went into the army. Left me. Never came back. Bastard. I'll never trust a man again. They're all traitors, you know." "So are women," I said. "Everyone's a traitor," she said, but without bitterness, in fact almost cheerfully. "They're all bastards and traitors, what can you do? So anyway, I had my child. I worked different jobs. I took a job at a carwash. That was my last big job in Lugansk. Some dyadya there, a client, told me I could do...this kind of work there. I didn't, but I came here on a train and it was easy to find this type of work. I didn't come here expecting it. I was hoping to get a job selling cosmetics, anything, but that didn't work so a girl I met told me about this agency, and well, this is what I'm doing for now. But my contract ends in a few weeks." "You have to sign a contract?" I asked. "That's how it works. Three months at a time. I've been doing it for, well, this will be four months. Then I'll quit. I send money back to my family in Lugansk." "You have family?" "I have an older sister and a younger brother. He's eleven. And my baby of course. My mother died. She died last year of cancer. It was horrible, and now we really need the money." "Your father?" I asked. It usually comes down to the father. "He's alive. He lives with a woman. He has another family." "How do you send the cash to Lugansk?" "I give cash to the train conductor here in Moscow, give him a cut, and he takes it down, and someone meets him in Lugansk and takes the cash. Otherwise it'd take forever, if I used Sberbank." "Aren't you afraid the conductor will steal the cash?" I asked. She laughed. "Hasn't happened yet. But I guess it could happen. You know, it's so nice to just talk with you. Usually I show up to a client's, and right away, he wants to...he just takes me and we have sex, then he throws me out. But with you I'm much more comfortable, just talking. I like this! What about you? Where are you from?" "California." "Oh, California! California! Why are you here? Everyone wants to get out of here and go to California!" "It's more interesting here." "Yes, ekstremalno," she said. "Extreme in Moscow. Terrorism in the metro. Terrorism at concerts. That's what you like?" "We have terrorism too, if you remember," I noted. She laughed. "Yes, I remember. The sad thing is that there's no terrorism in Ukraine. Nobody cares about Ukraine. It's not even worthy of a terror act because there's nothing anyone wants from Ukraine." She laughed and shook her head. As we talked, we drank tequila with grapefruit juice. I made hers strong, and she enjoyed each cocktail, drinking more than most whores drink. "I like three things. Fruit, cigarettes and alcohol," she told me, stealing a banana. After getting half-undressed in my kitchen, we took our act to my bedroom. She didn't shower -- I guess she was getting too drunk. But that was a shame because her vagina had that end-of-the-tour-of-duty odor to it, the butt grease odor that worn-in whores get. It spoiled an otherwise cheerful night. Her breasts were small and not too squishy. Her ass was also small, and though squishy, it fit into my hand. She rolled some kind of super-small, ridiculous Soviet condom onto my unit and started to blow me, but we had to take the thing off and put on a Durex. I was kind of hoping I'd get a condomless blowjob, but I wasn't forceful with her. I'd enjoyed her company, and the power I had over her time with me, too much to spoil it with a change in the tempo. She wanted to fuck. "I can't wait," she said. She rolled onto her back, but I pulled her on top of me and told her to sit on me. Her vagina was wet and tight enough that I didn't feel like I was getting the old "hot dog in a hallway" snapper that every john dreads. She didn't need to lube with a whore swipe. Lara was really enjoying herself on top of me, or at least faking pretty convincingly that she was. Her pleasure was rooted in believing that I was interested in her stories about herself, which I was, slightly. I was trying to feel some kind of genuine interest or make some connection, or trying to feel like I should try to make a connection, but it was all fake and all internalized -- trying to conjure up genuine interest in Lara's story was contrived in a ridiculous way, like faking my own orgasm while masturbating. My aunt once said to me, while pointing to her baby grandson, "They're nothing to me until they're at least four or five years old." That's sort of how I feel about humans: they're nothing to me until I've clocked so many hours with them, a lot of hours, hours usually spaced over a matter of years. Lara pulled me on top of her and pulled her legs back. I felt like I was going to cum too quickly and I didn't want to, so I slowed it up. "Come on!" she said. "I want it. Let's go, come on!" I started to go, but all the lust that had been missing suddenly caught up with me. So I rolled over again and pulled her on top of me. This time she wouldn't wait. She started to piston-fuck me, so I figured the hell with it, I was paying, who am I trying to impress? I grabbed her small ass and used it like a giant block of sandpaper to sand down my whole pelvic region. Suddenly I exploded, and she made sounds as if she did too. I don't know -- of all the ego things, getting a whore off is just not something that makes me feel like more of a man. I'm not sure how much she faked it, both for my sake and for hers, but when she fell on top of me her heart was beating as hard and fast as a mongoose's. But the best part of our evening was to come when she rolled onto her back. After a few deep breaths she asked me what time it was. Already after two in the morning. "Oh. It's already time for me to go," she said. "I should get ready to leave." She wrote down her phone number, but as soon as she handed it to me I knew I wouldn't call her. She deserves at least a pozdravlenie on Women's Day. But I know I won't do it. Which makes me just another traitor in her life. Issue In #185 04 Mar 04 (1 year, 10 months old) Also in this Issue The Ugly Truth Feature Story byMarkAmes Moscow's girls have become uglier, and are getting increasingly ugly every year. If Moscow is no longer a haven of lust, then what is the point of living here?... In Brief In Brief US-German Thaw... Forbes List of Whores... Fradkov Mania!... Bonner for Putin?... GULAGs Re-Open, Western Investors Cheer... Viva la Resistance! byJakeRudnitsky Welcome to Warsaw, hub of the exiled Belarusian opposition movement. All twenty of 'em... Democratic Putin Voltaire de Putin (French, 18th c.)... H. Puttin Thoreau (American, 19th c.)... Putinbo Lumumba (Africa, 20th c.)... Vladimir Lincoln (American,n 19th c.)... Ksenia + Denis Club Review byDenisSalnikov By the time you read this you probably know the big news in Russia from the past week. Everyone's talking about it... A Decadent Spring Dyev's Diary byLyolyaAndrosova Spring is a marvellous season for sexually obsessed people. Really, what can be a better start for spring, than a passionate sex?... Outsourcing Thomas Friedman byTamishPhreedman Globalization is here to stay. And that's a good thing not only for Wall Street, but for Main Street too... Bardak Calendar Bardak Calendar All For Ladies. Tseppelin... Loire Culinary Festival. Panorama... Fun Loving Criminals. Tinkov Brewery... Lidia Lunch. B2... DJs Layo & Bushwacka. The Warehouse... The Monster Mash Kino Korner byMarkAmes There is a new trend I'm noticing in Hollywood - the fake independent film, the gentrification of indy movies... Haiti 2: the Rerun War Nerd byGaryBrecher Haitian history just won't stop happening. Between that last column and this one, president was booted out... Comrade Terminator Book Review byJohnDolan "Full Spectrum Disorder: The Military in the New American Century" by Stan Goff... SIC! SIC! HOLOCAUSTIC... MOTHER TUCKER... THE IDIOT... WHORE-SICA... HARDY-HAR-HARBIN... THE CONSULTANT CURSE... Death Porn Death Porn FILL HIM UP... DON'T BE A BABY... QUEER WAY TO GO... THE MOTHER-IN-LAW... Disappointments Yuri Balabin, 24... Natalya Lukina, 31... Timur Aliyev, 18... Irina Godunova, 22... Alexei Vidolov, 28... Mandela Porn Mandela Porn byNatashaMarchetti In Malvern, an 83-year old woman went to investigate the noises in her kitchen and was raped for her efforts... Drilled-Down Veggies Restaurant Review byPeterArenseberg Avocado is a quiet and dignified place, tucked into a huge Stalinesque block near Chistiy Prudiy Metro station... Set Font This feature requires JavaScript. Other Formats Printer-friendly Plain Text Email Article Email address(es): Note: Affiliate Links By buying from these merchants, you help to support and enhance our online presence. 200 beautiful RussianBrides a week! Photo galleries, personal profiles, introduction services. Travel to Russia Visa support, hotels, train tickets, tours and cruises. See your message here! Write to web_adv at exile ru Interested in advertising? Write to the_exile at mail ru "the eXile". Tel: +7 (095) 795-3376 , fax: +7 (095) 245-1415 E-mail: office at exile ru (website-related issues: webperson at exile ru )
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