Whore Train

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eXile - Issue #163 - Whore-R Stories - Whore-r Stories: International Whores' Day - By Genghis Goldberg Moscow-based alternativenewspaper Search the eXile All Issues This Issue This Author This Column | Advanced Search... Email thousands of beautiful Russian Ladies! Home | Archive | Club Guide | Restaurant Guide | Songs | Field Guide To Moscow | Political Trading Cards | About Us Browse Column (19) Previous (4) Next (14) Whore-r Stories: International Whores' Day By Genghis Goldberg Browse Author (8) Previous (4) Next (3) T he buildup to International Women's Day here in Moscow last month was as nauseating as Christmas Season in New England. All those flower vendors, cheesy TV specials and grotesque toasts to womanhood triggered fantasies of cutting off my lady friend's head and storing it in the back of the freezer, behind the Gzhel and the sack of frozen broccoli. There was only one way to avenge this evil: celebrate March 8th with a whore. Not another newspaper whore from our page 23, but a whore picked from an open-air market. So hold on to your latex gloves, folks, cuz I'm a-gonna take you back to March 8th, that magical, enchanting holiday celebrating the mystery and gift of Women. Before we go there I want to take this opportunity to make an aside. Thank God there is no Women's Day holiday in America. I can imagine the layers of irony and suppressed desperation that such a holiday would bring out. The whole inter-gender sickness would gurgle out of the social sewer grill every year on cue: "Oh, I'm sooooo happy you're celebrating me. Tchya, as if." "This holiday is so sexist, you know? No, just kidding! I don't really give a shit about some stupid holiday, you know? I'm not into that whole PC thing?" "No, really, it's okay. Forget it, you know? It's not the holiday that I care about, it's just...forget it, nothing." But why do I torture us both, readers, with horrible reminders of the Repression? We're not in America. Let's move on with our lives. In Russia it's impossible to avoid Women's Day. I used to do the gentlemanly thing and call all the women in my life to wish them all the usual: chlamydia, breast cancer, cellulite... This year I was going for a clean slate. No phone calls. No women. Just a whore. Rudnitsky and I called a taxi at about 9:30 p.m. on Women's Day evening. I instructed the driver to take us to the nocturnal whore colonies that come out to feed on that block of Leninsky Prospekt between Oktyabrskaya metro and Gagarin Ploschad. "Going for sluts?" the burly driver asked. "Yes." The mission cheered our driver up - I always expect Russian taxi drivers to get nationalistic and protective over their womenfolk when I ask them to take me to whore markets, but the opposite is always true: they look at you as a real bloke and often go the extra mile for you. "I don't think you'll find anything on Leninsky now," he suggested. "We should go to the Moskva." "They're too expensive there," I said. He shrugged. We wasted a half hour trawling Leninsky before giving up and going to the Moskva. "I'm telling you, the only hope is the Moskva at this time," he said. "Okay, let's do it." There, a mamochka -- an over-the-hill whore in sweat pants, parka and cap -- waited near the former Dikii Loschad restaurant, bouncing just off the curb. She told us to follow a white Moskvich which was parked just ahead of us. We followed the Moskvich to the Lubyanka bus stop across from the FSB headquarters. The Moskvich stopped in front of a group of dirty Russian cars: one mini-van and two Ladas. This was the tochka. Another mamochka approached, this one younger and Asiatic. "We've got 70, 100 and 150," she said. "Which do you want to see?" "100," I said. Suddenly it was like that scene from the keystone cops: about thirty girls piled out impossibly from cars that should only hold a total of five, then lined up in a semi-circle before our headlights like trained dogs, or like slaves on an auction block. One girl looked enticing: a shy, extremely thin village girl with a big head, big eyes and a terrible hairdo. The problem was she looked too young and skittish. To get the whore-r story for this issue, I needed an older girl who'd been through the hard knocks, a girl with tales to tell. The rest of the 100-dollar line-up looked like something out of the Star Wars bar scene. "Let's see the 150's," I told the mamochka. She shooed the 100 girls back into the sardine pack. Would they be punished, ruined, hurt by the rejection? One should be horrified by the thought, yet for some reason, one got rather aroused. The 150s weren't much better. I chose a tall girl with long black hair and exotic Cossack eyes. Her red vinyl boots went up to her knees. Her name was Alla and she came from Kiev. Rudnitsky seemed to like her and I was wasted enough to listen to him. She must have some interesting whore-r stories to share. When I brought her to my apartment I asked her about the expected upcoming war in Iraq. "Do you think America has gone crazy?" I asked. "Do you think we're aggressive and arrogant, or do you think we have the right to take out Saddam Hussein?" "It is necessary to get rid of him," she said matter-of-factly. "So you support Bush and America?" "Of course," she said. "Hussein is terrible. Who needs people like that in the world?" "But most Russians think that America has gone crazy, turned aggressive." "Get rid of those people too." "Get rid of the Russians who oppose America's war?" "Of course, get rid of them. They complain about everything. They're not civilized." The only thing more exciting than a cute girl who advocates war and concentration camps is when said chick is a whore you've just purchased for the next several hours. On International Women's Day! But the joke was on me. After this auspicious opening, it was all downhill with Alla. She didn't want to drink. She had a bad attitude. When a whore doesn't drink, usually it means she's got a bad attitude. "When did you come out to Moscow?" I asked. "In December." "Did you work as a prostitute in Kiev as well?" "No." "So why did you come to Moscow?" "Work." "Is it better here than in Kiev?" "More money." "Do you miss Kiev?" "Yes." "You're not married?" "No." "How did you find out about the work here?" "A friend in Kiev who worked here told me about it." "Why did you need the money?" I asked. "It's personal. It's not pleasant. Has to do with Kiev." "Do you have a baby?" "No. I take care of my mother and younger sister. It's not pleasant." "Where's your father?" I asked. "I haven't seen him since I was six. Do I have to keep answering? Enough!" I'm starting to think, there's a pattern here when it comes to fathers and Warsaw Pact whores. I've always known that if I ever had children, I'd flee. The guilt would kill me, I can't lie. So the best thing is to not have a child, period. No child, no problem. But what if I had a child, a daughter, and I fled, and my abandoned daughter bloomed into a whore? Wouldn't that be a good thing, bringing joy to the lives of so many empty, exhausted, pathetic men incapable of love or intimacy? Shouldn't I feel pride, rather than guilt, if my daughter became a whore? Of course! Folks, I'm throwing out my condoms tomorrow. Delinquent fatherhood, here I come! Alla wanted to speed things up. She took her whore's bath and lay on my bed. She blew me with a condom. I barely felt it. We had sex. I don't remember much. I was as high as space shuttle dust, and my voice sounded like Froggy's, which made my interrogation of her difficult. Her body was thin and she had an advanced case of squishy whore flesh. She was 23, almost middle-aged by whore standards. She didn't need to do the swipe: her snapper was unusually moist for a prostitute. Which prompted me to ask her if she liked her job. She scowled. "Are you joking? I do it just for money. Who doesn't?" I groggily thought, "Geez, you could at least lie, Alla." I was too high to cum. I punished her for a good half hour or more, until she went dry. Then punished her some more. I thought about the holiday, the flower vendors charging double-price to the idiots, the grotesque TV shows. I thought about nothing. I thought about how long I'd be doing this. I tried to fuck her hard from behind but we weren't even generating hate sparks. I finally pooped out. It ended in a stalemate. All I really wanted was to be alone. So I sent her home early, to both our relief. As Women's Days go, it could have been a lot worse. But as whore-r stories go, it was a wash. Issue In #163 06 Apr 03 (2 years, 9 months old) Also in this Issue Less Is More: the Back-to-Basics Hagfish The Schopenhauer awards are not a beauty contest. And of all our nominees, the Hagfish is the most humble of all... Cafe Ass-ya Restaurant Review ASIA KAFE is an Uzbek cafe just opened in central Moscow... The Republican Guard Feature Story No, not the Iraqi one. We're talking about America's Republican Guard - proactive-war-mongering Republicans and their pundits... Death Porn BACK TO SCHOOL... TURKEY HUNT... EXTRA CREDIT... Your Letters SIC! THE PROPHET... USSA... SAINT SALNIKOV... WAR FAGS... PEDOFOOL... CURIOUSITY KILLED THE SVEN... The Doctor Diesel Test How easy would it be to give away the 23 cans sitting next to our refrigerator?... War Traditions byPepeLePew What we're seeing these days is the age-old story of the American army. They suck... Bardak Calendar Menlo Park... Jethro Tull... Khoroinko Orchestra... Cassius... April Fool's Day April Fool's Day in Moscow's English-language press... America Faces Israel Scenario byMarkAmes The Israel Scenario is already here for Americans. America's descent has just begun... Hours Lacks Hot Chicks Kino Korner byMarkAmes If you must go to the local theaters, then I have to review the movies they're showing... Death March II: the Nature Walk City Beat byJohnDolan Katherine and I decided to go on one of the Sunday "Nature Walks" mentioned in the Moscow Times... Fairytales for the Scared Stupid Book Review byJohnDolan I knew it would be a facile, opportunistic and untenable definitional/moral argument against "terrorism..."... Down We Go! War Nerd byGaryBrecher I'll start by saying what Bush and Rumsfeld won't: "I was wrong." It still blows me away that our brilliant leaders managed to turn Saddam's Army into an effective military force... The "Ne Ochen" Party Club Review byDenisSalnikov I should like to apologize to my readers for the fact that I did not appear at the eXile's party... Set Font This feature requires JavaScript. Other Formats Printer-friendly Plain Text Email Article Email address(es): Note: Affiliate Links By buying from these merchants, you help to support and enhance our online presence. 200 beautiful RussianBrides a week! Photo galleries, personal profiles, introduction services. Travel to Russia Visa support, hotels, train tickets, tours and cruises. See your message here! Write to web_adv at exile ru Interested in advertising? Write to the_exile at mail ru "the eXile". Tel: +7 (095) 795-3376 , fax: +7 (095) 245-1415 E-mail: office at exile ru (website-related issues: webperson at exile ru )

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www.myspace.com/ MySpace.com | Home The Web MySpace Help | SignUp Home | Browse | Search | Invite | Rank | Mail | Blog | Favorites | Forum | Groups | Events | Games | Music | Classifieds Facundo "Tha Brothahood" Gomez "Facu to tha Motha**** g" Male 16 years old lancaster, California United States Last Login: 1/10/2006 View More Pics ContactingFacundo "Tha Brothahood" Gomez Facundo "Tha Brothahood" Gomez's Interests General The only things i wanna do is rap and play soccer Music EMINEM, Dr. Dre, the Kid 50 Cent. D12, Ice Cube, Xzibit, EMINEM,EMINEM,EMINEM,EMINEM!!! -- Eminem - Just Don't Give A Fuck -- Video provided by VideoCodes4U Movies 8 MILE, War of the worlds, The day after tommorow, alien vs. predator.minority report, van helsing, jackass the movie, ghost ship, ace ventura, xxx 1 and 2, the fast and the furious, 2 fast 2 furious, and many mo Television viva la bam, wild boyz, jackass, south park, ER. hip hop show the whole MTV. Books sorry i dont read. F*** books!! Heroes EMINEM, tupac, spider man, batman, superman, y el pato!! Facundo "Tha Brothahood" Gomez's Details Status: Single Here for: Dating, Serious Relationships, Friends Orientation: Straight Hometown: Buenos Aires, Argentina Body type: 6' 0" / Athletic Ethnicity: Latino / Hispanic Religion: Catholic Zodiac Sign: Aquarius Smoke / Drink: No / No Children: Someday Education: High school Facundo "Tha Brothahood" Gomez is in your extended network Facundo "Tha Brothahood" Gomez's Latest Blog Entry [ Subscribe to this Blog ] [ View All Blog Entries ] Facundo "Tha Brothahood" Gomez's Blurbs About me: Im White to start, but argentinian. i love rapping and playing soccer. i got skillz in many sports.i look some like EMINEM, thats why im his num one fan, only me not you! haha b****.i kick it wit my friends and rap or mess around.i like to party alot.... im not a good dancer but i try my best.......NOT!Dont ask me to dance wit me cause i wont.. only girls not u fags out there.HAHA..soy bostero para las gallinas... and chivistas de la re puta madre. well spit on u if u come to our house again.....and socked.....like Bofo.In other words.. i rap and play soccer all the time. DETROIT!!!!!!hahahah TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey Name: Facundo Gomez Birthday: 1/29/90 Birthplace: argentina Current Location: Lancaster Eye Color: green Hair Color: blonde Height: 6'0 Right Handed or Left Handed: right Your Heritage: Argentinian The Shoes You Wore Today: lugz Your Weakness: other Rappers Your Fears: afraid of the dark Your Perfect Pizza: Tomato and sausage Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Better rapper Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: Sucka dick then Thoughts First Waking Up: sex Your Best Physical Feature: muscles Your Bedtime: anytime Your Most Missed Memory: 1st girl Pepsi or Coke: pepsi MacDonalds or Burger King: Both Single or Group Dates: Single Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Nestea Chocolate or Vanilla: Choco Cappuccino or Coffee: Cappuccino Do you Smoke: no Do you Swear: yes Do you Sing: sumtimes Do you Shower Daily: yes Have you Been in Love: ya Do you want to go to College: ya Do you want to get Married: yes Do you belive in yourself: fuck ya Do you get Motion Sickness: no Do you think you are Attractive: ya Are you a Health Freak: nope Do you get along with your Parents: yes Do you like Thunderstorms: hell ya Do you play an Instrument: used to In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: ya In the past month have you Smoked: no In the past month have you been on Drugs: no In the past month have you gone on a Date: no In the past month have you gone to a Mall: hell ya In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: nope In the past month have you eaten Sushi: never In the past month have you been on Stage: nope In the past month have you been Dumped: nope In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: hell nah In the past month have you Stolen Anything: hell yess Ever been Drunk: ya Ever been called a Tease: ya Ever been Beaten up: no Ever Shoplifted: ya How do you want to Die: i wanna be killed twice What do you want to be when you Grow Up: rapper/soccer player What country would you most like to Visit: brazil In a Boy/Girl.. Favourite Eye Color: green Favourite Hair Color: brunette Short or Long Hair: long Height: 5'3 Weight: 123 Best Clothing Style: fresh Number of Drugs I have taken: none Number of CDs I own: many Number of Piercings: one Number of Tattoos: none Number of things in my Past I Regret: lots CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS! Bling MySpace Editor Bling MySpace Editor http://lordmody205.tripod.com/images/eminem-show1024x768.jpg Bling MySpace Editor Bling MySpace Editor Who I'd like to meet: I would love to meet EMINEM. i wanna meet Jim Carrey, DMX, Ice Cube, Dr. Dre, Ben Stiller, Adam Sandler, Vin Diesel, Angelina Jolie, Tom Cruise, y la seleccion argentino....i also wanna meet many good lookin girls out there. Facundo "Tha Brothahood" Gomez's Friend Space Facundo "Tha Brothahood" Gomez has 88 friends. Brian " Tha Brotha Hood" Madden (ci)3L M3NDUK@(ci) Dante"Da Brothahood"heron Marshall Bruce Andrew" What "Brother"hood"Green LB"The BrothaHood"™ JON "Da Brothahood" i ♥ him View All ofFacundo "Tha Brothahood" Gomez's Friends Facundo "Tha Brothahood" Gomez's Friends Comments Displaying 50 of 63 comments ( View/Edit All Comments ) Charlie''la foca o tego jr''como mas les guste !! 1/8/2006 6:43:00 PM gracias por el add ... soy otro super fan d boca!!!!!!!!!!! Charlie''la foca o tego jr''como mas les guste !! 1/8/2006 6:42:00 PM dale boca !!!!!!!!!!! boca asta morir concha d su madre!!!!!!!!! Joel 1/6/2006 8:25:00 PM lol, neither does coach pape, man wut happened to varsity u guys used to be unstopepable now u guys have been loosing all the games Joel 1/6/2006 9:14:00 AM fuck 6-0 and i didnt stay for all the game i stayed for half the game, i bet coach luve made u guys run yesterday huh Joel 1/5/2006 4:11:00 PM did u girls i mean guys win Joel 1/5/2006 4:10:00 PM press play The Original Ryan♥ 1/3/2006 9:58:00 PM ah dat sux. i go to lwkd high its gay but not worse dan that ugly ass bitch mrs.roberts. remember that fucking cunt? lol i swear. anyways i gtg peace out fool, dont be a stranger aight? aight then late. 1/3/2006 9:16:00 PM hahaha hey wassup man. damn, its been a long time fool. waat skool you go to?aight den lata foo. LiSsEtTe 12/29/2005 5:39:00 PM hey whatup "g" how have u been ? how has ur break been going so far ? i havent seen u in a while but i guess ill see u when we go back to skool i just wanted to say hi and show some love so take kare and see c u soon PEACE!!! ViVi * Miss Argentinia* 12/28/2005 2:02:00 AM cHE! me ENCANto tu pagina!!!... muy buena.... la cancion......!!! y las fotos! por dioz.... AGUANTE BOCA!!! bexos!.... Vir! ~~(:florchus:)~~ 12/26/2005 11:49:00 AM hey fa whats up?? this was a fun weekend heres a pic for u! byee il c ya laters love u!! ~~(:florchus:)~~ 12/24/2005 6:30:00 PM ♥Valeria♥ 12/24/2005 11:52:00 AM colombia 12/23/2005 5:52:00 PM hola bueno solo pasava a decirte hi ok take care y estamos en contacto bye by e LIL DREAMER 12/23/2005 5:31:00 PM wuzz up facu-g Romina 12/23/2005 1:53:00 PM i ♥ him 12/22/2005 4:42:00 PM hola waco! como estas? yo bien aka en mi casa con gaby y leo jodiendo un rato aldope como 100pre pero bue ustedes como andan? las cosas? tus viejos buenoanegro t voy dejando cuidate salu2s chau! Joel 12/6/2005 7:24:00 PM u left ur shoes at pratice tarudo, milllton has um , and hey did we get homework for mis bitcman Joel 12/3/2005 4:03:00 PM this pics are fucking funny hu and did u girls win against rosemand daniela 12/1/2005 3:58:00 PM hey wuts up how's life? ~*~$andra~*~ 12/1/2005 1:18:00 PM Joel 11/30/2005 8:14:00 PM where were u 2day?huh *BRigiTTe* 11/29/2005 9:06:00 PM hey there ha ha u found me...lol so whats up? oh good game by the way!!! LIL DREAMER 11/29/2005 8:02:00 PM hey fool im goin to kick ur ass LIL DREAMER 11/29/2005 7:54:00 PM hey facu-g whut u doin ~*~$andra~*~ 11/29/2005 2:25:00 PM Hey wut ^ boii thx 4 stopin bye jus wanted 2 saii hi hit me ^ anytyme k un beso Joel 11/28/2005 8:11:00 PM so did u guys tied of or won or loose Wut ? WHO THE FUCK R U 11/27/2005 2:40:00 PM hi hoe r u hope ur good well just wanted to say hi well bye W/M LUV PRISCILLA ♥FaNtAsY♥ 11/26/2005 11:24:00 AM Ur welcome! So how r u ? lol well talk 2 u later bye bye ; ) ~~(:florchus:)~~ 11/26/2005 2:20:00 AM & with one last look. i whisper goodbye my love 11/25/2005 5:39:00 PM ~*~$andra~*~ 11/24/2005 8:20:00 PM Hey wut ^ Jus stopin by 2 sho sum luv.happy thankgiven ''k''lots of luv (on beso) ~$andra~ ♥Valeria♥ 11/24/2005 12:21:00 PM HAPPY TURKEY DAY!!!! GOBBLE GOBBLE!!! HAAAA hope u have fun and eat lots of turkey!!! ♥Valeria♥ 11/24/2005 11:09:00 AM krystin 11/23/2005 3:29:00 PM im pritty good i guess.from the pics i can tell you like to have fun lol!!but how r u??and why did you wana add me?ttyl -krystin ♥If Onlii U kNeW....♥ 11/23/2005 1:54:00 PM heii..well dats pretty cool dat u live over ther..but i've never heard of it..:D..newaiiz.i live in New York and go to Saunders H.S...im15 and in 10th grade..and im from ecuador... well ttyl take care **DiAnii** ♥If Onlii U kNeW....♥ 11/23/2005 1:08:00 PM heii ..no problem..so wats up?? **DiAnii** LiSsEtTe 11/18/2005 8:27:00 PM hey sexy whats up ? just wanted to say whats up and see how ur doin'. well take care, see u soon.much love ! Ivan 11/16/2005 7:17:00 PM e puto marika culiado che trolo aber si el viernes asemos algo dale puto un beso culiada de mierda chau Abel 11/15/2005 12:22:00 PM ke haces pedazo de gay... para ke despues no digas ke no te dejo coments puto!!! jajaaja weno guacho pasaba a dejar un saludo y nos estamos viendo, cuidate el culo... chauchau pancho!!!!.....Abel..... Joel 11/12/2005 5:33:00 PM lol, fuck man this is so freaking funny, nice pic lol Abel 11/10/2005 4:29:00 PM ke haces pedazo de gay!! yo aca viendo el partido de boca..... jajajaa y vos vago de mierda!!! kbza de poronga!!!! we guacho te dejo un abrazo saludos a tus hermanas y a tus viejos, beso chauchau......ABEL..... Joel 11/7/2005 7:18:00 PM wuz up slim shady, like i was saying ur fast cuz ur legs man every time u walk its like three four steps of mine, but u got toadmit im pretty fast for my size or a i i dont know u did mis bitchmans homework already Abel 11/7/2005 1:15:00 AM kiaces kbza de poronga bueno yo aca hablando con unas pendejas... vamos a ver los pericos? tenemos ke hacer tu id hommie..JOJOJOO DE WANNNN, bueno guacho me voy a torrar, te mando un abrazo, saludos a todos, chauchau vieja...(gay) sB___♥ 11/6/2005 7:21:00 PM dude thats soo tight. but its kind of weird how it goes from super hot to snowing. haha yeah i wish we got to get out of school or school cancelled. the only way you can get out of school here is if you ditch. haha sB___♥ 11/6/2005 7:09:00 PM heyy. wow you live in lancaster now. that suckks. one time i had a tournament there and it was hot as fuckkk. haha dont you miss the beach!! yeah. i go to lakewood now. i guess its pretty chill. last year was wayy funner. but its all good. haha mR rIGHT N.Y.M.P.H.O.S/T.N.B^ 11/4/2005 8:04:00 PM hahah yea i remember u...where u live at now? and y did u move? LiSsEtTe 11/4/2005 6:51:00 PM Hey facundo, just wanted to say hi. And see you monday. sB___♥ 11/4/2005 4:35:00 PM heyy. dang i havent seen you in forever. hah howd you find me on this??!! well yea anyways. umm ive been doing really good. how about you? what school do you go to? anyways. uhh i guess ill talk to you later than. ~~(:florchus:)~~ 10/30/2005 11:46:00 AM hey facu!! just passin by to say wats up?? well halloween is tomorrow and hopefully its fun!! ok byeeeeeeee!* love ya* Add Comment About | FAQ | Terms | Privacy | " target="_blank" Safety Tips | Contact Myspace | Promote! | Advertise | MySpace Shop ©2003 MySpace.com. All Rights Reserved.

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