Whore Train
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Ink 19 :: El Mortigi Tempo :: Real and Unreal, Part Two Real and Unreal, Part Two El Mortigi Tempo Real and Unreal, Part Four Real and Unreal, Part Three Real and Unreal, Part Two More El Mortigi Tempo... 3. "Wake up! It is half past ten," yelled Z. "You are soaking in sweat. What in the world were you dreaming about?" "Uh, nothing really," mumbled Perry. "I have to go bathe, and get out of these clothes. My train leaves at 3 today." "Good morning," seductively smiled the Whore, as we shall refer to Marcella now. Perry stared at the Whore, then retreated to the bathroom for a warm shower. As the water drizzled on him, Perry could only think of his dream. Who was Estella, and what did she want from him? Some people believe in the concept of astral worlds and other dimensions that cannot be described using our 5 senses. Supposedly, a soul is encased in several layers, one of which is the human body. After our death, the body is released from the soul, and we become astral beings. While in our human state we need oxygen to survive, in our astral bodies we need the lifetronic force, light, to keep us alive. Light. Astral worlds are nothing like the transient physical world, for they are filled with colors never seen before, and everything is so pure and beautiful. In the astral dimension, beauty is not judged by the way one looks, but rather the radiating love that is present inside of them. The friends and family we had on earth are present in the astral world, thus proving that the power of friendship and unconditional love is eternal. Astral beings are able to penetrate our physical world, but it takes a great amount of energy and time for humans to penetrate theirs. The easiest way for humans to contact astral beings is through dreams. The dead people who appear in our dreams exist; not as humans or anything we can touch or feel. They exist as a thought. It is a consciousness that prevails through space and time. How does one describe the mind and the thoughts we have? How do you quantitatively describe our consciousness? 4. The dream continued bothering Perry. He had come to Sheffield to spend some time with Z, but to his despair, he was no longer with L, and even worse, he was making love every night to the Whore. Z and the Whore walked Perry to the train station. "Goodbye, Z," said Perry in a solemn voice near the station's platform. "It was nice seeing you again," replied Z. "I hope that you will come visit again. Next time you should stay here a little longer than one night. I am hoping to try to find a job in London, so I'll let you know how things turn out." "It was nice meeting you," said Perry to the Whore. "Same here," replied the Whore. Perry got into the train, and realized how many things had changed about himself and about Z. He had always respected Z what he stood for. Here was a boy who taught himself how to play the keyboard and guitar, who had gotten drunk with the local vicar, and who had slept with the perfect girl in school. A boy who was going to be a rock star, scientist, and a politician. He had the ability to change the world- the person who people look up to generations after their death. He could have been the Gandhi, the Beatles, or the Bowie of his time. But now he was relegated to a little flat in Sheffield, working 9 to 6, five days a week for a pharmaceutical company, and living with a whore. I used to know this girl some years back who was the valedictorian of my high school. She lettered in swimming, track, cheerleading, and softball, and she was the county volunteer of the year for 3 years in a row. I used to sit in class and wonder if there were any imperfections in her. She seemed so unreal, yet she was so real. Teachers worshipped her, and she was hailed as the "most likely to succeed" and I was hailed as the "most likely to fail." She got accepted to Princeton University, but she dropped out during the middle of her freshman year after becoming pregnant. I haven't heard from her since, and I doubt that she is contributing to society in a way that people had once expected. I find it unfair of Perry to be disappointed in Z, but at the same time, Z was the leader. When the leader has fallen, and no one has assumed the responsibility of leading the way, the cause perishes. Perry was feeling that the cause had died when Z became ordinary. What hurt Perry and me is that Z had so much potential. He was so intelligent, witty, yet wise, and he had this powerful gaze when he looked at you which made him godlike. Looking into his eyes one could see years of wisdom and the wonderful future that was awaiting us. But like all my heroes, Z failed. Z became real for Perry's senses, and this became too unbearable for Perry to comprehend. 5. The train ride back to London was quite nauseating because the woman next to him was vomiting chunks of chicken in a plastic bag and two little children in the front were crying incessantly. He was trying to get some sleep, and these three idiots were making his life even more miserable than it was. "Hey you fucks," he yelled at the incessantly crying children. "Can't you shut up for a minute?" Petrified, the children retreated into their seats. The passengers next to him were astonished, but no one wanted to say anything for fear of instigating a fight. He had had a miserable week and had contemplated suicide, but he couldn't think of an interesting way to die. His business ventures in Japan and Malaysia had collapsed dramatically in the last week, and two days earlier Sarah, his daughter had just been diagnosed with Wilson's disease. He had spent the weekend in Manchester with Angelina, his mistress of 13 months. "I have been dreaming about you for days," he said. "I have been thinking about you for weeks, and I am glad I am in your arms again." "Do you think about me when you fuck Mary?" she replied. "Does she scream when you rhythmically ride her, and do you scream too, James?" Whenever he made love to Mary, she would scream whenever she had an orgasm, but Angelina never screamed. Screaming for Mary was a way to tell her husband that she loved him, and that he was pleasing her like no other. Angelina didn't scream for she wanted to be in control and power during lovemaking. Screaming is a sign that you are the victim, helpless and powerless. Women who are raped (or hate fucked) are oftentimes said to scream in hopes of grabbing someone's attention to convey that they are in pain and under attack. "Did you orgasm?" he had asked Angelina the night they made love in Brussels. "Why do you ask?" she replied. "You didn't scream," he responded. "You haven't screamed ever since we started making love." "Oh James, every woman is different," she said. "I am not Mary." He had met Mary when they were in business school at NYU. Both of them had grown up in England, James in Liverpool, and Mary in Manchester, but by fortune, or misfortune, they had met at NYU. Three years after graduation they got married in a small church in Manchester, and a year later, Sarah was born. They lived in a small flat in Manchester, about 15 minutes from Mary's parents, but eventually moved into a luxurious house when James started getting promotions at his job. Mary was an extravagant spender, and by the time James became senior executive of his company, Mary was throwing massive parties for so-called friends. "I don't know who you are anymore," he said to her one day. "I don't know the person who I married. You are not real to me anymore. You don't exist in my world." "I hate you James," she replied. "You are always wanting to control me. Well I am a person and I am real." She began to remove her clothes until she stood naked in front of him. "I am real," she cried as she pounded her chest. "Here, feel my tits," she said as she grabbed her breasts. "James, it is real. I exist. I am real, you stupid fuck." I can be contacted at mortigitempo@hotmail.com
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blog.myspace.com/profilemaster < Back MySpace.com | rss | sign in | sign up Profile Master Last Updated: Sep 23, 2005 Send Message Instant Message Email to a Friend Subscribe My Blog Groups: Browse Blog Groups Who Gives Kudos: Save a Horse (2) Lucifar Gunda (2) Weston (2) The answer's (2) Jmercy420 (2) My Subscriptions: cassieKNOX ~*~BrItT~*~ Cowboy King of the Rodeo Mackenzie <3 Cassandra Lynn Sunday, April 25, 2004 Cursors The best way I know of to change your cursor is to use the code in my links section. Then add "cursor" to the list of elements. You're probably wondering what to do if you want the curser to apply all of the time. If this is the case, add the same cursor change to every link phase you have. The basic link code: <style type="text/css"> a:link{color: **color of base link** ;text-decoration: none } a:hover{color: **color of link when being hovered over** ;font-weight: bold ;text-decoration: none ; filter: **if you use a filter, define it here** height:"0";} a:active {color: **color of active link** ;font-weight: bold ;text-decoration: none } a:visited {color: **color of visited links** ;font-weight: bold ;text-decoration: none } a.navbar{font-size:8pt;} a.navbar:link{color: **color here** ;} a.navbar:active{color: **color here** ;} a.navbar:visited{color: **color here** ;} a.navbar:hover{color: **color here** ;} a.redlink:link{color: **color here** ;} a.redlink:active{color: **color here** ;} a.redlink:visited{color: **color here** ;} a.redlink:hover{color: **color here** ;} </style> The code after you add the cursor element: <style type="text/css"> a:link{cursor: *cursor* ; color: **color of base link** ;text-decoration: none } a:hover{cursor: *cursor* ; color: **color of link when being hovered over** ;font-weight: bold ;text-decoration: none ; filter: **if you use a filter, define it here** height:"0";} a:active {cursor: *cursor* ; color: **color of active link** ;font-weight: bold ;text-decoration: none } a:visited {cursor: *cursor* ; color: **color of visited links** ;font-weight: bold ;text-decoration: none } a.navbar{font-size:8pt;} a.navbar:link{cursor: *cursor* ; color: **color here** ;} a.navbar:active{cursor: *cursor* ; color: **color here** ;} a.navbar:visited{cursor: *cursor* ; color: **color here** ;} a.navbar:hover{cursor: *cursor* ; color: **color here** ;} a.redlink:link{cursor: *cursor* ; color: **color here** ;} a.redlink:active{cursor: *cursor* ; color: **color here** ;} a.redlink:visited{cursor: *cursor* ; color: **color here** ;} a.redlink:hover{cursor: *cursor* ; color: **color here** ;} </style> Now, replace *cursor* with one of the following, according to what you want. Crosshair Hand Move Wait Help Text Url(*url of the image you want as your cursor*) Make sure: --You add "cursor:*cursor* to my text code. Do not add this in addition to it. --you delete *cursor* and add one of the above elements. leave OUT the *'s. 8:53 AM - 5 Comments - 10 Kudos - Add Comment Christine would i put this in about me Posted by Christine on Friday, September 16, 2005 at 9:49 AM [ Reply to this ] Christine that was a dumb ass question on my behalf ok ok i have figured out just about everything i have asked you but to make my cusor text where am i gonna type what i want it to say Posted by Christine on Friday, September 16, 2005 at 10:26 AM [ Reply to this ] The answer's always NO I'm having trouble using a custom cursor from another url. I found the URL I want to use and where you indicated *cursor* I inserted *url( http://supergarv.de/images/artwork/final/cursor.jpg )* in it's place (without the ** of course). Not to be ignorant but, what am I doing wrong? Posted by The answer's always NO on Saturday, November 26, 2005 at 12:27 PM [ Reply to this ] Jmercy420 Well I figgured I would elablorate some on dudes Q about some cursors not working ect. Depending on your browser some cursors may work and some not so make sure the cursor you have is compatible with your browser, STEEZ!~Jessina Posted by Jmercy420 on Thursday, December 01, 2005 at 2:19 AM [ Reply to this ] About | FAQ | Terms | Privacy | Safety Tips | Contact Myspace | Promote! | Advertise | MySpace Shop ©2003-2006 MySpace.com. All Rights Reserved.
Whore Train
CHUD.com - Cinematic Happenings Under Development 01.11.06 “Get the f*ck out of my office! ” - Lou Gossett Jr. SANGUIS MINIMUS! CORPUS ANIMUS! SATANI AVE! Pictures from Fox's 2006 slate - including the new Damien. THE LIST OF WHAT IS YET TO CUM What if you knew the name of everyone you would ever have sex with? WHO WILL BANG BOND? Bond girl casting underway! Could it be you? DVD REVIEW: THE BALLAD OF CABLE HOGUE Old Hogue's got problems, but he's still Russ' favorite. DAILY GRABOID 1.11.06 Be pure, be vigilant, be guessing! DVD REVIEW: LOIS & CLARK - SEASON 2 David enjoys this "chick-friendly" Superman. PEEK INTO PAN'S LABYRINTH Spooky new images from Guillermo Del Toro's latest! DVD RACK: GARFIELD AND FRIENDS - VOL. 5 Jeremy is down with the fat feline and his cohorts. LEAK LETTERS #31 Another letters column for you to ignore. DVD RACK: SUPERBOWL CHAMPIONS - SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS Bill and the once great team of the '80s walk down memory lane. DVD REVIEW: THE WILD BUNCH (2006 SE) Russ goes to mexico with a bunch of killers. CHECKING BACK INTO THE HOSTEL Splatter picture gets sequelized. SAM RAIMI GOES TO DISC WORLD Raimi gets deeper into fantasy with his next film. DAILY GRABOID 1.10.06 This is not your cousin's Graboid. DVD RACK: VENOM Ian gets bitten by mediocrity. DVD RACK: CABIN IN THE SKY Eileen sings nothing but praise. DVD RACK: MARTHA'S BAKING FAVORITES Bill cooks with America's sweetcon. DVD RACK: GREATEST SUPER BOWL MOMENTS Ian gets a nice dose of pigskin action. THE SPECIAL EDITION - 1.9.06 DVD: Makin' the world go 'round (eh, until Blu-Ray or HD-DVD that is). TRAILER: HARD CANDY How to use the internet to pick up sweet teen meat. ROSARIO DAWSON IS HOT And she's into comics. Literally. TRAILER: CLERKS 2 Kevin Smith's sequel works the counter. THREATENED BY COUGARS: THE MOVIE 24 will make the jump to big screens. THE LEGENDARY WESTERNS OF SAM PECKINPAH An American master gets his due on DVD. HE WATANABE IN A CLINT EASTWOOD MOVIE Eastwood's Japanese Iwo Jima film gets logistical. DVD REVIEW: RIDE THE HIGH COUNTRY Russ finds treasure in the Sierras. GRINDHOUSE: READ ALL ABOUT IT Tarantino and Rodriguez write about their next. SCREENING: UNDERWORLD EVOLUTION Updated with 2 more cities! A NICHOLAS RAY OF LIGHT FOR KAUFMAN Does Philip Kaufman still have the right stuff? GOING FOR BROKEBACK II Devin takes on the latest Brokeback Mountain controversies. DAILY GRABOID 1.9.06 Don't be annoyed, Grab the 'oid. DVD REVIEW: TERROR TRAIN 09.24.04 By Doug Healy BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE! STUDIO: Fox MSRP: $14.99 RATED: R RUNNING TIME: 97 Minutes SPECIAL FEATURES: Trailer Like so many of you out there, Im quite a big fan of the 70s and 80s slasher films. Theyre the kinds of films that so many of us ages 25 to 40 grew up on. While there are few kids out there that could even sit though a great picture like The Seventh Seal , let alone understand and appreciate it, slasher films were often the kind of fun and exhilarating movies that although forbidden by most parents, found their way into the VCR when you had friends stay over, or when your folks were asleep. The mix of jump scares, bloody killings and inevitable nudity made some of these movies the forbidden fruit of film for many of us. Thats certainly not to say they are all classic films, or even that most of them are well-made. For every Halloween or Sleepaway Camp there were plenty of Slumber Party Massacre or Friday the 13 th Part 3D films to make sure the bar was held pretty low for slasher flicks. So where does Terror Train fit in the slasher film oeuvre? Well, youre obviously going to have to read on in order to find out (you didnt really think I would tell you in the introduction, did you?). Now we know why Diane Keaton wears gloves all the time. The Flick In order to properly set about the mystery of whos going to be killing lots of people later on in the picture, Terror Train opens with the inevitable prank gone wrong. The boys of Sigma Phi Omega fraternity are having a party and trying to get some the loser freshmen laid for the first time. Doc (Hart Bochner) convinces the pathetic virgin Kenny (Derek McKinnon) that his girlfriend (Docs, not Kennys) Alana (Jamie Lee Curtis) is ready to take one for the team. Of course, seeing all of Docs friends around him laughing into their jackets, we get that Kenny isnt going to enjoy this first experience. Alana doesnt quite know what shes getting into, but plays along anyways. I wont spoil what happens, but rest assured, Kenny gets embarrassed, lots of other kids show up to laugh at him and he goes crazy. Cut to a couple years later, and all the pranksters are now seniors, getting ready for the biggest party of their college years. Theyve rented out a train for New Years Eve to throw a huge costume party filled with shitty bands, cheap booze and loose trim. Alana is no longer with Doc, as shes still pissed off about the severity of the prank they played on Kenny. Apparently, Kenny was shipped off to a mental hospital, and she feels pretty bad about it. She has a new boyfriend, who also happens to be Docs best friend and is best friends to fellow Sigma Phi frat-whore, and current Doc play toy, Mitchy (Sandee Currie). "Quiet, guys! I think I hear a train coming" Were introduced to the line-up of stereotypes at this time as well: theres the black guy, Jackson (Anthony Sherwood) and the only other black person at the party, his girlfriend Merry (Vanity, before she was Princes cock sheath). Theres the jolly fat guy, the other jolly fat guy, and enough meatheads and blonde groupies to fill a Motley Crue concert. Oh, theres also the mysterious magician, played by a Perry Farrell-looking David Copperfield. This was the first warning to go off when I was watching the movie. As a general rule, I think that magicians should be offered up to Quetzalcoatl, but even that seems too nice for David Copperfield. What a smug prick he is. However, in this film he fits nicely, as his job is to play the smug prick of a magician. It works nicely. Theres not really much more to get into concerning plot; the party starts and people start getting picked off one by one. In an odd stroke of coincidence, everyone involved in the shaming of Kenny seem to be the ones on the sharp end of whatever pointy object the killer is using. Billy Shived was always the life of the party. There are generally two types of slasher film: dark, serious movies which are meant to scare you after youve left the theater, such as Halloween , and campy slasher pictures, that while offering up jump scares, are really meant to have fun and laugh with, such as April Fools Day . Terror Train really tries to be on the darker side of the spectrum, which makes sense when you have the scream queen of the era headlining your film. For the most part, this works. Directed by Roger Spottiswoode (of good films like Shoot to Kill and awful films like Stop! Or my Mom Will Shoot ), there are some tense situations, especially toward the end of the film, and the moving train setting provides a sense of claustrophobia, which always goes a long way in horror films. Jamie Lee is in typical form here, offering up lots of crying and screaming. Though there is something about her in this movie that doesnt work with me: shes not hot. While slasher films were intriguing to me as a kid, they cant compare to the loin-tingling passion I had seeing Jamie Lee Curtis on screen. I aborted more children onto the carpet in front of my parents entertainment center watching her in Trading Places than all the teen prostitutes in L.A. In Terror Train , though, shes got scraggly hair, nasty-looking teeth, and the pirate costume she wears to the party means that we dont even get to admire one of the greatest figures that God ever placed on this Earth. In fact, this movie has almost no random nudity. Theres a quick flash of some nasty cans, but thats about it. Gene Shalit's review - "New Year's Eve on the Terror Train? More like my clone is suave as hell! Oh, shit, that doesn't rhyme." Before you purists get on me, Im well aware that in 1980, the slasher film hadnt yet devolved to the point where it needed to have naked women in every other scene. I just feel it necessary as reviewer to let people know what to expect. Some people like the skin-laced horror film, and for their sake Im letting them know ahead of time that if naked women are important to their viewing pleasure, theyll be disappointed. The movie is not quite as obvious as that plot outline makes it out. For those who watch these types of films, and are paying close attention, the identity of the killer may become apparent to you about of the way through the film not bad considering the obviousness of some of its brethren in the slasher genre. The costume party sets up a realistic way of getting the killer into all sorts of odd masks and helps keep us confused, if only for a bit. Where was George W. Bush between May 1972 and May 1973? Shoveling coal on Satan's personal train, that's where. An interesting note: movies like this (at least those not directed by David DeCoteau) dont often have a homosexual undercurrent, but Terror Train doesnt shy away. Its pretty obvious that Doc would love to run away with his best friend, Mo. Not important to the movie, just a tidbit. I liked this movie even more than I thought I would. Its not a campy, laugh-as-you-go horror film, so dont be expecting that and I think youll enjoy it too. Its not as brilliant as the film it takes so many cues from Halloween but it is solid, nonetheless. 7.0 out of 10 The Look The movie is very dark, though this is done purposefully. Its a lot harder to figure the killer when you cant quite see whats going on. The transfer is okay, and purists can take note that contrary to rumors, Spottiswoode didnt add Ewoks to the scene in the snow. 7.0 out of 10 "Christ Morty, whatever happened to foreplay?" The Noise The music fades in and out sometimes, and the dubbing doesnt always match up with the speed at which theyre talking, though you can understand everything. 4.0 out of 10 The Goodies A trailer. 1.0 out of 10 The Artwork Jamie Lees visage and the terror train about to be stabbed by Gene Shalit. What more could you ask for? 4.0 out of 10 Overall: 2.8 out of 10 Discuss this sucker on our MESSAGE BOARDS . MAIN NAVIGATION HOME | NEWS | INTERVIEWS | CHAT MESSAGE BOARDS | CONTESTS & SCREENINGS | SUBMIT SCOOPS REGULAR COLUMNS THE STEADY LEAK | DAVE'S UNDERGROUND | THOR'S COMIC COLUMN T.H.U.D. - TELEVISION HAPPENINGS UNDER DEVELOPMENT | THE SPECIAL EDITION THE CHEWER'S COLUMN | MASTER CONTROL PROGRAM | COMIC STRIPS | VIDEODROME | CHUDSTORIES REVIEWS THEATRICAL | DVD | MAGAZINES | VIDEO GAMES BUSINESS HOSTING - NEXCESS.NET | ADS - GORILLA NATION VISIT OUR APPENDAGES: CREATURE CORNER | NATION'S PUNCHED | CHUDSTORIES EQUALBIAS | SEWERCHEWERS | PKG | LUCKY NIGHTSTICKS This site is owned by KrakenHeads . Editorial comments/requests, please CONTACT US . Any advertising inquiries, CONTACT GORILLA NATION . CHUD.com is a privately owned website that features a great deal of rumor and speculation, and must therefore be read as entertainment. 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Whore Train
Confessions of a consumer whore: Mr. Rei's PSP review | The Corporation @ Corpnews.com The Corporation @ Corpnews.com Lying About Games Since Forever Home Confessions of a consumer whore: Mr. Rei's PSP review Submitted by Mr. Rei on Fri, 04/01/2005 - 10:04am. It's fucking pink . The PSP runs on the same OS as the PSX entertainment unit. Every goddam month the backround colour of the OS changes. It's April 1st right now, and I'm staring at a series of white lines waving slowly over a pink backround, good god it's like accessing files on a cotton candy-coated vagina. March was a pistachio-ish green. It's been a week, give or take a few hours since I brought my PSP home from the mall. I had located a cache of old, dust-covered PSX games and DVDs under my bed and behind my closet, not really caring to play ancient games like Crash Bandicoot and Bushido Blade 2 again, I decided to put them to good use in what I call: "The Grand Circle Of Budget Gaming"; wherein old, shitty games are sold in exchange for new, better games. I wound up getting the system, Lumines, Wipeout Pure and Ridge Racer. Ridge Racer never came in so I grabbed God of War instead. So sitting in the kitchen of my house, I carefully opened the box. You know those first few minutes of opening up a console system? The veritable rollercoaster of emotions is practically identical among all veteran console gamers. I love every part of it, pulling off that foam-like wrapping, undoing twist ties, examining every little component with excurtiating detail. The system is slick, but I don't know anyone who doesn't handle it like a fabrege egg. It's all black, with some silver around the sides, and the PSP logo on the back. The front is covered with a plastic shield, this is where the first two most noticable PSP problems are idenfitied. It scratches, and it smudges. The DS and GBA SP have clamshell designs, this is because while it's meant to be carried around and banged around... It's being carried around and banged around, the clamshell design of the Nintendo handhelds prevents people from running up to you covered in broken glass and scratching your precious screen with their blood and sharp edges. Bastards I say. Your PSP is unprotected from the harsh world, like a 300 dollar turtle without a shell. No matter how clean your hands are, you'll leave fingerprints all over this thing, god help you if you murder someone, because Gil Grissom will just demand you hand over your PSP so he can compare it to the bat you used to bash that hookers head in. Doesn't matter if it's David Caruso, he won't ask for your PSP.. He'll just know . So, invest in a 3.99 pack of screen protectors. The system comes with a tiny cloth, the kind you use to clean glasses with, cherish it. Also included is a pair of headphones with a shitty little remote on them, a wrist strap so you can look unbelievably feminine with the strap around your wrist as you play Lumines, a sleeve to keep your PSP in, which it should ALWAYS BE IN if you're not using it, and your standard 32 MB memory stick. It holds absolutely NOTHING, I can encode a music video and an maybe a dozen photos. Sadly I'll have to plop down 70 bucks for a 512 MB card before I can begin watching episodes of House on the train. They were also nice enough to give me a sampler disc full of game trailers, movie trailers (XXX2, Stealth and Deuce Bigalow 2...It's going to be a great summer for not seeing movies.) and music videos. The first shipment of PSP systems ship with a UMD copy of Spiderman 2. Which is pretty damn neat. I don't see UMD movies taking off, although Sony recently dropped the price on them, you can only watch them on the PSP, and Hellboy is really more suited for a big screen anyway. Plus the movie selection is pretty shitty so far. The UMD format itself is nice, hi-capacity, I worry about dust getting inside that little case the CD is contained in, or the case cracking. But I also worry about that little girl from the Ring slashing my throat when I'm getting a pepsi at 3 AM, so I wouldn't put too much weight into my concerns. The system hooks up to your PC with a standard USB 2.0 cable, the kind that usually comes with a digital camera, connect it, create folders for your music, movies and photos and upload them. You can use iPSP to easily manage files for your system, and PSP video 9 to encode videos. You can fit a 70+ MB video onto a 30 meg card using it. The audio is a bit tinny coming out of those two tiny holes on the face of the system, you're better off using the headhones. Otherwise the sound is excellent, demonstrated very well in Lumines. Many owners complained of dead pixels, tiny pinholes on the screen usually white. I didn't notice any until I uploaded an all-black photo to the system and examined the screen up-close, I can't tell if it's always been there or if it's fairly recent. It only really bugs me when the screen is dark, though. The graphics are crisp and clear, it's like carrying around a DVD player that can display comic books and play music. But when you buy it, ask if you can crack open the box and examine the system for dead pixels, if there's enough to bug you, take another, some stores let you do this. The controls are laid out much like your standard PS2 controller, except it has a tiny control nub. I can't seem to get used to playing Wipeout with it. Otherwise the layout isn't really worth discussing, it's comfortable, 6 buttons, 4 face, 2 shoulder, and the d-pad. Battery life varies widely depending on the system, I've put a solid 20 hours into Lumines with about 2 or 3 into Wipeout and I've recharged the system a total of 4 times over the last 7 days. What that means to you, is up to you. I've watched movies and listened to music with it, and so far the most battery-intensive actions seem to be wireless play and games that do a LOT of streaming right from the UMD drive. Ridge Racer apparently whittles the battery life down to a paltry 3.5 hours, which I will be glad to confirm once I can GET the game. Images: Contents of the case , and games and size comparisons Oh, right....games. Lumines Games like Ridge Racer and Wipeout Pure showcase the raw hardware capability of the machine, but I think it is Lumines that is the best game of the launch lineup. As you may have heard, Lumines (pronounced just like luminous, if you call it loo-mines, I'll snap your fucking neck) is the brainchild of Tetsuya Mizuguchi , whose other brainchildren include Rez and it's retarded younger brother, Space Channel 5. 4x4 blocks of 2 colours drop from the top of the screen, players must arrange these blocks so that blocks of the same colour are arranged into 4x4 groupings, you can link as many of these 4x4 solid coloured squares together as possible. A line passes over the screen every 3-10 seconds, wiping all solid, completed blocks from the screen and adding them to your score. This line moves in tempo with the music, so it's speed will alter with the song in the backround. Lumines default mode, the "Challenge mode" has players start at the beginning of the song order, with the level increasing as you clear blocks from the screen. As the level increases the speed of the blocks falling increases as well, giving you less time to properly position them. When you reach a certain level the song transitions to the next, and the movement speed of the timeline will change. A slower timeline means that you have time to create larger combos but run the risk of running out of room before the timeline completes it's journey. A faster timeline removes blocks faster but forces you to create smaller chains, or rely more heavily on combos to get a lot of points at once. Lumines forces you to develop a strategy of your own, a unique playstyle that fits your game philosophy. Players will often find themselves thinking about the game while NOT playing it, wiping the screen in their mind of blocks and figuring out new ways to dispose of tricky arrangements. In the last week I've put more than 20 hours into my game, and I find myself playing on the bus, while on the phone, during windrider trips in WoW. Also included is the puzzle mode, which asks the player to arrange the blocks in a certain pattern, which can be extremely difficult. There is also the Timed mode, which asks the player to remove as many blocks as possible in 60, 120, 300 and 600 seconds. And finally included is the vs. mode, my favorite gametype, which pits you against 10 CPU opponents in an increasingly difficult order. VS mode has the screen divided into two halves, every time the timeline passes over, the player who wiped more blocks extends his side of the field and backs his opponent against the wall, eventually forcing the opponent to fill his screen and lose. Completing these modes earns the player new avatars and levels, the avatars are usually pretty awesome, ranging from people to octopuses (not octopii.. I looked it up) to cowboys to insane jesters (my current avatar). The best looking ones seem to come from completing vs. mode, although they never look as cool as the CPU opponents version. The levels, or "skins" are excellent, each with it's own blocks, backround, sound effects and music. The levels are highly varied, most of the time anyway. The best skins are in the start and at the end of the playlist, some of the ones in the middle suck, and suck hard, both in audio and visual (Shake Your Body being the focal point of detest. Also, Dark Side of the River is annoying as hell, I learn to get better just to get through it faster.), some of them are a rhythmical delight, combining the music and visuals of the stage and combining them with your gameplay to create one single aesthetic piece of art. See, the music and graphics are affected by the gameplay, moving a block from side to side, or rotating a block, wiping various amounts from the screen or creating combos and ALL the other actions you can do create unique sound effects within each skin. The music shifts and changes ever so slightly to accent the rhythm of your playstyle, and the sound effect accent the music so as to create one single unified song that changes every time you play, depending on HOW you play. The playlist never changes, so you'll get used to the games first song, "shinin". Shine and shine and shine and shine and shine and shine and shine and sh-..and so on. It's a good song, but still.. shine and shine and shine and shine and shine... Playing Lumines is a lot like jumping on a trampoline. Every time you pick it up, you've learned a new trick, gotten faster, gotten better, learned to create combos in advance faster, the experience feels unique each time. Images: vs. mode , and shine and shine and shine and shine. Wipeout Pure It seems the intro to this game sells more systems than the game itself, christ, even the official website is just a picture of a PSP with the movie playing on it. A showing like this might make one worry that the game itself is lacking in comparison to the movie that opens it. This is not the case. The last Wipeout game I played was the first one for the PSX, and I can't even remember it, I recall it having a lot of similarities to F-Zero, but having focus on weapons. While Wipeout Pure does have weapons, this games focus is on raw, unrestrained speed . This is one of the best looking games on the PSP, rivaling Ridge Racers in sheer terms of graphics power, what amazes me is the detail put into the game. Animated billboards and moving objects, such as aircraft and huge wind-power generators, massive blinking billboards in the city stages, actual tiny people in some spots watching the race, and foliage littering some areas on the sides of the track. The little touches really make this world the game takes place in come alive, even though you'll rarely have time to slow down and look at all these things. The number of tracks is very nice, and Sony has promised downloadable content via the PSP's wireless connection. So basically, in a couple of weeks you can go to a Starbucks and get new songs, vehicles and maps for your copy of Wipeout, Sony will be providing new tracks every month for 6 months. Players race along these tracks in several ranks, each progressively faster than the last. The courses are littered with boost pads and weapon pickups, weapons range from homing missiles to scatter missiles, floating caltrops, bombs, a boost, autopilot and a few other toys for you to utilize. The focus isn't on weaponry, your arsenal is simply to even the playing field against progressively tougher opponents. There are ways to gain speed, the speed boost item, the boost pads, slamming X as soon as the game says "Go" at the start, and a new addition; the ability to perform a barrel roll in mid air, performed succesfully your craft gains a massive speed boost upon hitting the ground. Perform it too late, and, well.. You wind up landing on your cockpit at Mach 2. The game gets HARD, as freakishly Prada-like as that PSP strap is, you might want to wear it to keep from whipping your system out a moving car. Enemies have no qualms about cheap-shotting you while you're ducking and weaving between fields of mines the racers ahead of you have just dropped, they'll hold onto their boost until the single most aggravating second for them to do it. Christ, I think the Harimaru racer just put 3 months worth of Everquest II on my credit card, these guys will go to any length to piss you off. Also included are the standard Time Trial, Single Race, and Free Play modes, and "The Zone". The Zone puts you in a very Tron-inspired "simulation" in which your ship moves on it's own. No brakes, no accelerator, just using R and L and the d-pad to steer as best you can without blowing up. Your ship moves increasingly faster and you have to keep it from slamming into the walls, it's very challenging, and great practice for the higher ranks where the game gets kinda nuts with the sheer speed of your ship. The sound effects are nice, the music is as excellent as any other Wipeout title, a melange of techno and....mostly just techno. But I've noticed one in every ten times the sound quality goes to shit and becomes a mess of static, I've conferred with several other Wipeout Pure owners and this seems to be a common occurance. It's a very aggravating oversight in a game that prides itself so much on it's soundtrack. With three racing titles at launch, this is one of the better ones available, tying with Ridge Racer. If you picked up Need for Speed: Rivals.. Well.. Something isn't right with you. In the head. Images: gameplay shot , and closeup of a ship . Closing thoughts Many people are saying that this system is going to kick Nintendo's ass, as Nintendo has the DS to go up against the PSP. I wouldn't go that far, clearly Sony has gotten MORE developers than the DS has. Even Nintendo's GBA library has suddenly dried up, along with the currently desolate DS game selection. The DS is simply a bridge connecting the GBA and the next Nintendo handheld; the next iteration of the Gameboy. It's very possible that E3 will have an excellent showing of what Nintendo has in store, I wouldn't worry. More advanced systems have gone up against the Game Boy before, and Nintendo is still holding the handheld market. But this isn't like the Game Gear or the fucking Lynx. Sony is out for blood. This isn't SOE with it's "Why play a World of Waiting LOL LIKE WOW GET IT?" strategem, this is actual competence. These people actually understand what they're doing with all that money they've been given. Also, I've talked to 3 people who picked up Metal Gear Acid thinking it was the same as MGS. What the fuck is wrong with you? I follow a game for months before launch often and even I read the box before taking it to the register. Scores Lumines Gameplay: 5/5 (Easy to pick up, fast and fun to play, and you'll see falling blocks whenever you close your eyes.) Aesthetics: 5/5 (This game is a feast for the senses, I'm sure it even TASTES good.) Sounds: 4/5 (Shine and shine and shine and shine and shine and shine and shine and shine and shine and shine and shine..) Value: 5/5 (Challenge, Puzzle, Timed and Vs. modes make sure you'll be working forever to get everything in this game, the experience is always different.) Verdict: 5/5 (Addictive and fun as hell to pick up, everyone has to play this, this is what Puzzle games have to live up to now.) Wipeout: Pure. Gameplay: 4/5 (Challenging to the point of frustration, but just kicks ass. Fast and fun, and weapons aren't cheap enough to ruin the gameplay experience, just enough to spice up the action.) Aesthetics: 5/5 (The best looking PSP game by far, highly stylized and detailed, show this to friends who are unsure about the PSP's graphics power.) Sounds: 3/5 (Good soundtrack, needs a LITTLE more variation in the genres, and that static problem is annoying as hell.) Value: 4/5 (A few more tracks would have been nice, but Sony promises more tracks and more vehicles. Multiple gameplay modes allow players to hone various skills necessary for the tournament mode, and wireless play is REALLY fun.) Verdict: 4/5 (It's the launch title everyone is talking about, but if you're into more style over speed, get Ridge Racer.) 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