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eXile - Issue #149 - Chess - eXile: 1, Whore: 0 Moscow-based alternativenewspaper Search the eXile All Issues This Issue This Column | Advanced Search... Email thousands of beautiful Russian Ladies! Home | Archive | Club Guide | Restaurant Guide | Songs | Field Guide To Moscow | Political Trading Cards | About Us Browse Column (9) Previous (5) Next (3) eXile: 1, Whore: 0 W hat is the War on Terror about if not victory? Full spectrum domination of a vastly inferior, if pesky, foe. We here at the eXile sports desk take this War very seriously, and for this eXtra special War on Terrorism issue that no one in the family should miss, we decided to set the tone for the inevitable victory over the forces of evil currently assailing the civilized world. You see, since the inception of the eXile chess column, we have routinely been subjected to humiliating defeats by some of Russia's finest chess minds. The eXile's record against Russia's chess masters stood at an astounding 0-19. This could not be tolerated. So for this issue, in the interest of rallying the forces of good, we decided to trot out the worst possible opponent we could think of to beat mercilessly and halt our pathetic losing streak. The easiest foe. The Iraq of the chess opponents' world. That's right: we called a whore. A whore to play chess against us. We nit you shot. Procuring a whore in Moscow to play chess with is not as easy as you might think, however. Even for money. They'd rather bone than brain. Results of calls to girls advertised in the Moscow Times were varied: Call #1 Woman answering phone: Da? [seductively] eXile: I'd like to hire a girl to play chess with me. Do you have any girls who play chess? Woman: [hangs up] Call #2 Woman answering phone: Da? [seductively] eXile: Do you have any girls who play chess? Woman: That's an interesting request. I've never heard that before. eXile: Well do you? Woman: Let me check. [sets down phone, murmuring can be heard in the background for 10 seconds] We have girls who can play checkers and cards. It will be $100 per hour. eXile: I need a girl who can play chess. Woman: You know, girls don't play chess. If you want to play chess, why do you need to call a girl? Can't you just find a man to play with for free? eXile: Good point. Thanks Girls don't play chess? This is Russia for shit's sake! Can't a po' eXhole find a regular ol' blyad to push some pawns?!? After several more calls with similar results, we decided to try our own eXile advertisers to see what they could offer us: Woman answering phone: Da? [seductively] eXile: I want a girl who will play chess with me. Woman: Well, for $200 you can have her for the whole night and do anything you like with her. eXile: I would prefer not to have to teach her how to play. Woman: Why not? You will have lots of time! eXile: I'll think about it and call you back. With about 10 calls behind us and no luck in finding a chess-playing whore, the $200 gig to teach a girl and then play her seemed like the best bet. An hour for the $100 MT girls would not leave a lot of time for pre-game lessons. But given the lack of any sort of assurance that a $200 reimbursement would be provided by our crack Levite accountant squad, we decided to bite the bullet and order a $50 girl for two hours from Moscow's renowned newspaper of record, the weekly Tsentr Plus, which we had found in our mailbox. We just had to hope that she could tell a rook from an uncut unit. The woman fielding the call said that at the moment (6 p.m. on a Saturday) she had four girls available and asked us what kind of girl we wanted. Not being too concerned about the quality -- we were still ravaged from a depraved bachelor party the night before, nullifying any hope of achieving an erection and popping a sleep-inducing Imovane seemed a much more attractive option than a Viagra at this point -- we asked the helpful madame to send the girl with the prettiest face. In a little less than a half an hour she arrived. After her oversized flathead escort in tan jeans and a flannel shirt had searched every room in the apartment, including the toilet in which a rotten loaf had just been pinched -- much to his dismay, according to his pained grimace upon exiting the toilet -- our opponent, 22-year old Anya, was allowed to enter our one-room eXile apartment. Anya, slightly plump with long black hair and possessing the requested attractive face, was dressed in a long, light-blue jean skirt with a jean jacket of the same color over a white blouse. She stood in front of the doorway with her black leather purse draped over her shoulder looking at us, the royal us, nervously, slightly shifting her weight from one foot to the other. The escort left, slamming the door. We led her into the living room. A short interview revealed that Anya is a veterinary student from the Ukraine who came to Moscow with three other girlfriends to work in Moscow for two weeks during their summer vacation. "Yeah, that's great. Can you play chess?" we asked. "Yes. My father taught me when I was little." We informed her that all she had to do was play a game of chess with us, and that after that she would be free to leave. Impotence, the plague of the eXile staff in the post-Yeltsin era, had gripped us by the balls. "Fine," she said. We set up the large wooden pieces on the flat, rubber-mat chess board and sat down across from young Anya. She drew white. The beautiful thing about chess is that every game that was ever played and notated can be replayed exactly and studied by even the lowliest of amateurs. No basketball fan can even come close to recreating Jordan's shot over Bryon Russel to win the 1998 NBA Finals, or Dwight Clark's catch of Montana's pass against the Cowboys in 1981. But any fool can sit down over a chess board and play out -- according to notation -- 14 year-old Bobby Fischer's "Game of the Century" against Donald Byrne in 1956, contemplating and moving the pieces just as Bobby did. The point is that chess games, when written down, are preserved perfectly for posterity. And Anya left the chess world a fucking beaut. Let's take it to the board... Anya (White) vs. eXile (Black) 1.g3 e5 Anya plays Benko's Opening, named after French/Hungarian/American Grandmaster Pal Benko. Benko made a splash (including upsets of Mikhail Tal and Fischer) in the 1962 Candidates' tournament at Curacao with this opening. He later revealed that he had selected it only to avoid heavily analyzed lines from his opponents! eXile suspects that Anya is using the same strategy. 2.g4??? The typical line in Benko's Opening continues with White's fianchetto of its king bishop (2. Bg2). There is no possible explanation for Anya's second move. There is no record of this move ever being played...anywhere. 2...d5 3.b3? "Blyad's Gambit" (1. g3 e5 2. g4 d5 3. b3) Anya gives up g-pawn for no compensation. We will be submitting this line (1.g3 e5 2.g4??? d5 3.b3?) to various chess journals worldwide to be recognized by grandmasters and amateurs alike as "Blyad's Gambit." 3...Bxg4 4.Na3 Nf6 Anya has prepared to fianchetto her queen's bishop, but instead mysteriously moves... 5.c3?? Nc6 eXile quietly develops it's light pieces, firing up a Parliament Light and blowing the smoke in Anya's face. She has just quit smoking. 6.Nc2 Anya, like many Russian girls, appears to be a horse-lover. Herewith begins a monumental 4-move journey of her knight all the way to the other side of the board, as Anya completely ignores basic chess principles of developing different pieces and establishing central pawns. 6...Bd6 7.Ne3 Qd7 8.Ng2 0-0-0 9.Nh4 Rhe8 eXile prepares to march its e-pawn toward Anya's king with the support of the king's rook. A cross-board trek for Anya's queen's knight 10.b4?? e4 11.Ng2 Anya's knight again feels a bit uncomfortable and decides to seek safety on g2. The eXile has plenty of dangerous continuations to choose from, including: 11... Ne5 12. Qb3 Be6 13. Nf4 Nd3+ 14. exd3 Bxf4 15. Qa3 exd3 16. Qxa7. Instead eXile opts for the simple and effective... 11...d4 12.cxd4 12...Nxd4 13.b5? An interesting decision, in the same way that the Danny Pearl decapitation video is interesting. Obviously white's b-pawn should be protected with 13. a3 13...Qxb5 14.h3 Bh5 15.h4?? It's time for the eXile to lower the Patrick Bateman chainsaw on Anya. There are many possibilities, including 15...Be5 with the attack on Ra1, but the eXile goes for the throat quickly. 15...Qc6 Necessary here is 16. Ne3 (16... Nd5 17. Bh3+ Kb8 18. Kf1 Nxe3+ 19. fxe3 Nc2 20. Rb1 Bg3 21. Rb3 Bxh4 22. Kg2) to protect against 16...Nc2+ and White loses its queen. Anya instead opts for the shocking... 16.Bb2?? Nc2+ 17.Qxc2 The white king's only escape from checkmate. 17...Qxc2 Anya should resign here (indeed, she should have much earlier), but then again, a 22-year-old whore from the Ukraine has probably seen worse in her life. That's what we call CHECKMATE, bee-yaaaaaaaaaaatch!!!!! 18.e3 Qxb2 Anya gives up her bishop. Her rook is next. 19.Rd1 Bxd1 There goes the rook. 20.Kxd1 Bb4 Mate in two moves if Anya moves 21. Nf3 (21...Rxd2+ 22. Nxd2 Qxd2#) 21.Nf4??? She takes the quick way out. 21...Qxd2# 0-1 And there it is, folks. The eXile "nuts the fuck up" and wins. If you're counting, that's 1-19. The dirty ass ho' went down! "Who's the bitch now, bitch?" we said, taunting her with a flaccid finger. "Chto?" she asked. "Nechego. Spasibo." Anya took the opportunity to leave unmolested, only vaguely disappointed that the eXile didn't nub her with our withered unit. And for us, oh my Brothers, it was one little white pill, and sleep, sweet sleep... Issue In #149 06 Sep 02 (3 years, 4 months old) Also in this Issue The Ghosts of 9 / 11 Feature Story The eXile channels the lost souls of the World Trade Center terror attack, and lets them tell their heart-wrenching tales of courage, tragedy, and, yes, petty malice... Powell Rift Exposed Bush Administration sources tell of a widening rift between National Security Adviser Condaleeza Rice and Secretary of State Colin Powell... DEA: Speed Funds Terror The DEA announced that it had cracked a major methamphetamine ring, some of whose proceeds might be diverted to terrorist groups such as Hezbollah... Terror Porn Death Porn MAO CAN TOO... EL DORADO... BIN DRINKEN... ISLAM OR BUST... Your Letters SIC! SANTOS, THE LATINO DUNCETER... THE WAR HERD... DIRTY ASS I-DUH-HO... WAR SUGGESTION... ON THE MARK... THE MARK-UIS DE [sic]... ACRONYM OD... BURNING BEARD... Ames: Times, Jornal Revenues Linked To Al Qaeda eXile editor Mark Ames holds a press conference, linking rival English-language newspapers The Moscow Times and The Russia Journal to Middle Eastern terrorist groups... Remedial Slander! Today it's Greenland - the biggest cheater on the map... Rudnitsky: Breakup With Girlfriend Linked To War on Terror A relationship between an eXile editor and a student girl was broken off when it was revealed that continuing it might harm America's War on Terror... We're Sorry Club Review We admit it. We messed up. Due to an unscheduled binge, the eXile is unable to bring you the regularly featured club review... Bardak Calendar Goldie... Incognito... Grazhdanskaya Oborona... Egg Fest... Latin Party... Happy Hours... Flounder!... Next Terror Attack Already Not Funny Editorial The next terror attack on the United States is already not funny - this is the thing all Americans already agree on... U-Sir: U Won't Believe It! The eXile is proud to unveil the latest addition to our U-Sir Friendly software family: the McChes-O-Matic!... Spielberg Needs A Stalker Kino Korner byMarkAmes Mark Ames reviews MINORITY REPORT, the new movie by Steven Spielberg... Dr. Dolan's Torture Tips byJohnDolan Practical Solutions to Your "People Problems"... The Russian Hack Book Review byJohnDolan John Dolan reviews "The Russia Hand" by Strobe Talbot... Make America Roman War Nerd byGaryBrecher Last column I asked readers to suggest wars that'd be more fun for the US to get involved in than Colombia... Thai me Up Restaurant Review byDannySchwartz Most recently, my unending quest to dig up decent ethnic food in Moscow, for reasonable prices, brought me to a little Thai dive LAN SANG about a five-minute walk north from Novoslobodskaya... The North Sea Amsterdam byEdwardLimonov When you go from France to Holland by train, you might wind up losing your respect for the Wermacht's exploits... Set Font This feature requires JavaScript. Other Formats Printer-friendly Plain Text Email Article Email address(es): Note: Affiliate Links By buying from these merchants, you help to support and enhance our online presence. 200 beautiful RussianBrides a week! Photo galleries, personal profiles, introduction services. Travel to Russia Visa support, hotels, train tickets, tours and cruises. See your message here! Write to web_adv at exile ru Interested in advertising? Write to the_exile at mail ru "the eXile". Tel: +7 (095) 795-3376 , fax: +7 (095) 245-1415 E-mail: office at exile ru (website-related issues: webperson at exile ru )
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www.myspace.com/threading_over_dark MySpace.com | Home The Web MySpace Help | SignUp Home | Browse | Search | Invite | Rank | Mail | Blog | Favorites | Forum | Groups | Events | Games | Music | Classifieds Threading Over Dark "Pray For Light" Male 26 years old Sacramento,CALIFORNIA Last Login: 01/10/2006 View more pics Contacting Threading Over Dark MySpace URL: http://www.myspace.com/threading_over_dark Threading Over Dark's Interests Music The Abominable Iron Sloth , Perish, Damnweevil, The Sacramento Murder Project, "Corn Rigs" by Don Giovanni, "Stuck In The Metal" by The Eagles Of Death Metal Movies Pier Pasolini's SALO, George Sluizer's THE VANISHING, Takashi Miike's AUDITION, Robin Hardy's THE WICKER MAN, Quentin Tarantino's RESERVOIR DOGS Television "Masters Of Horror" Books The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker, Deadlines by Greg Baer, Guilty By Reason Of Insanity by Dorothy Otnow-Lewis MD, Stranger Beside Me by Ann Rule Heroes Takashi Miike, Quentin Tarantino, The Pang Brothers, Ridley Scott, Anthony Schaeffer Groups: .::Lost::. , Horror Writers Group , The Horror Review (www.horrorreview.com) , Horror Crowd , Horror Movie Maniacs , Bay Area Filmmakers View All Threading Over Dark's Groups Threading Over Dark's Details Status: Single Here for: Networking Body Type: 0' 0" Sign: Aries Threading Over Dark's Networking Film - Production - Photography Film - Production - Producer Threading Over Dark is in your extended network Threading Over Dark's Latest Blog Entry [ Subscribe to this Blog ] Announcement: Burning Grounds Motion Entertainment - January 9, 2006 ( view more ) "Threading Over Dark's" New Years Resolutions ( view more ) Best And Worst Of 2005 - December 27, 2005 ( view more ) Happy Holidays - December 23, 2005 ( view more ) Thank You ( view more ) [ View All Blog Entries ] Threading Over Dark's Blurbs About me: make your profile cool MySpace Editor The Story Inspired by true events, "Threading Over Dark" revolves around the lives of eight individuals and their contributions to events surrounding the murder of rape victims in the Sacramento Area. The Filmmakers Director/Writer...G. William Stechman Producer...Todd Gearou Director Of Photography...Sean Boncato Editor...Andrew Hooper First Assistant Director/Co-Producer...Daniel Turturici Second Assistant Director/Co-Producer...Chad Meisenheimer Third Assistant Director...Scott Chema Art Director/Webmaster...Jon Rogers Special Make Up Effects...Lacie Oakley Key Make Up Artist/Wardrobe Supervisor...Leslie Goodman Additional Special Effects Makeup...Christa Bella Production Leader/Law Enforcement Consultant...Robert Granados Unit Production Manager...James Heaphy First Assitant Camera...Michael Johnson Sound Recordist...Roberto Berrios Sound Recordist...Steven Ng Sound Editor...David Cherry Casting...Everett Blix Still Photographer...Charr Crail, Devin Bruce Crime Scene Consultation...Richard Ridenour Crime Scene Consultantion...Dick Ridenour, Jr. Script Supervisor...Ross Pruden The Cast Marcus Shelby...Detective Jeff Starken April Potter...Amanda Sheila McClay...Detective Tori Carter Anthony Falcon...Emmanuel Almodovar Todd Gearou...Lloyd Benson Meaghan Sinclair...Samantha Benson Krystle Ferrin...Janelle Moritz Ryan Pratton...Brad Anderson Julian Ortiz...Brett Aimee Sapp...Truth Richardson Lacie Oakley...Katie Howell Jon Geckler...Larry Anderson Leslie Goodman...Jennnifer Clendan Jacob Leatherman...Tyler Thurman Michael Nerz...Doctor McClellan Ashley Granados...Ashley Jessica Goodman...Jessie Kathleen Coggins...Mrs. Richardson Sean Romias...Thomas Howell Robert Granados...Deputy Granados Everett Blix...Sheriff Blix Richard Ridenour, Sr...Crime Scene Investigator Ridenour Brian Culbertson...Officer Sluzier The Musical Contributors The Abominable Iron Sloth Damnweevil Perish The Sacramento Murder Project Links http://www.enterthedark.net The Official Homepage http://www.sacramentomurderproject.com Secret Teaser Site http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0460959/ The Internet Movie Database Page http://www.fangoria.com Fangoria Magazine Online Who I'd like to meet: .. Threading Over Dark's Friend Space Threading Over Dark has 295 friends. G. William Stechman Michael Laimo - Horror Author Chad Meisenheimer Dante Tomaselli April Dan Dashiell Marcus DeShane View All of Threading Over Dark's Friends Threading Over Dark'sFriends Comments Displaying 50 of 63 comments ( View/Edit All Comments ) Leslie Jan 7, 2006 03:59 PM The profile looks awesome. Can't wait to see the end result of all the hard work. Leslie G. William Stechman Dec 31, 2005 05:32 PM Happy New Year, everyone! Remember, don't drink and drive, don't use and drive, don't have sex while driving (unless you are with a qualified pro that has mad skills like me and April) and don't go to bed with any unsavory characters. Oh, and don't travel to any foreign countries where there is a "nice Hostel just around the corner..." Sex (no) drugs and rock and roll. Love, TPS MaVeRiCk ShCmAvERiCk™ Dec 24, 2005 08:11 PM MeRRy ChRiSTmAs ! ! ! G. William Stechman Dec 21, 2005 10:04 AM Thank you all so much for being a part of my dream! I could not have asked for a better cast and crew! Merry Christmas, Happy Chanakkuh, Happy Holidays, and Happy New Year to all! Love, GWS Chad Meisenheimer Dec 12, 2005 03:39 PM I really like this trailer and I also really, really like this poster. scott Dec 12, 2005 11:27 AM Love the new trailer...I wasn't sure before, but now I know i want to see this movie, haha. I looks awsome guys. Stevo Dec 12, 2005 09:07 AM This rocks! Choppy the Rat Dec 9, 2005 04:52 AM thanks for the add Kathleen Dec 5, 2005 09:55 PM Wow, gorgeous updates on the profile!! And the website looks absolutely fabulous! Marcus DeShane Dec 5, 2005 02:54 PM The trailer is great...the website is awesome!!! The articles are rolling in!! It's time you guys to shine, I'm excited!!! Everyone is doing a great job and I would like to give shots out to Jon for hooking up a great website and also to Anthony for the hard work on the trailer and behind the scenes footage and a big shot out to Greg and Todd for bringing us all together to make this happen!!! scott Dec 5, 2005 12:19 AM The new website and trailer are awsome, i definitly want to see the movie now. you guys rock! thanks for the early hanukkah present. BEHOLD INDIE: THE ALTER EGO Dec 5, 2005 12:16 AM Dude, I fucking LOVE it! The Trailer is looking good! My friend's request folder is bulding, I have like two dozen requests and just as many messages... this is WEIRD, but awesome! Great shit! Our hardwork will pay off, just watch! :-D -Roberto Chad Meisenheimer Dec 5, 2005 12:11 AM Good trailer and love the new look of the site. Great work Jon, Anthony and Greg...you guys can make a Co-Producer feel some sanity. G. William Stechman Dec 1, 2005 03:30 PM Does everyone like the new format of the MySpace page? Feel free to post your thoughts. There is more artwork and pictures under the 'View Pictures' heading. -TPS G. William Stechman Nov 29, 2005 09:56 PM We only have 2 weeks off if you discount production meetings, pick up shots, more establishing shots and publicity days. So, in reality, the work is just begining. Chad Meisenheimer Nov 29, 2005 09:44 PM Congrats to everyone, we only got a 3 more days of shooting and now we have two weeks off till we finish the last three days....YAAAY G. William Stechman Nov 29, 2005 08:44 PM Wrapped on more actors today - Ryan Pratton, Julian Ortiz, Krystle Ferrin, and Lacie Oakley! Thanks to everyone and a special thanks to our Fairfield crew for both keeping it real, and sometimes showing us what happens when keeping it real, goes wrong. I had tons of fun today and am hella sad we wrap this thing soon! Love you all, The Papa Stech G. William Stechman Nov 28, 2005 09:07 AM "The scene" is done... I do feel a slight bit of depression knowing that... Great job yesterday, guy! After only five weeks of shooting we are now a well-oiled machine! Even my parents called last night to tell me how impressed they were! Let's finish strong! Love, The Papa Stech THE Andrew Hooper Nov 26, 2005 03:07 PM I'm back baby! G. William Stechman Nov 26, 2005 11:31 AM Today was Geckler's last day of filming!!! Everyone say "Thanks, Geckler!!" Sorry Marcus slapped you around so much. Thanks for all the hard work, buddy! Your scenes are awesome! The Papa Stech G. William Stechman Nov 24, 2005 09:55 AM Happy Thanksgiving to the best cast and crew in the frigging world!! 6 short days left and then the madness begins... Love, The Papa Stech Chad Meisenheimer Nov 23, 2005 04:49 PM Chad is trying to not to think of Sunday...thanks for ruining that plan Scott...lol scott Nov 23, 2005 03:15 PM Yes...Rob is certainly the man...Yesturday was great, but...Sunday Sunday Sunday...That's all i can say! Oh i can't wait until Sunday G. William Stechman Nov 23, 2005 01:32 PM Extra extra special thanks to Ashley G. and Jessie G. for acting yesterday! And, although we spoke several laws concerning minors and tobacco use, the scenes turned out great. Much love, The Papa Stech G. William Stechman Nov 23, 2005 09:28 AM Rob Granados is the man. Yesterday was absolutely incredible! Rob, thanks for pulling everything together! You single-handedly increased the production value of my film by 150%. And we did it all with no broken noses! Well, we can wait for Sunday to dish out the broken noses. I can't believe we got to film a helicopter. I am still stunned. I could not sleep last night. I can't wait to edit this movie... The Papa Stech Chad Meisenheimer Nov 19, 2005 09:10 PM Greg directing a helicopter, that kinda scares me...lol Can we say "Twilight Zone: The Movie" lol Leslie Nov 19, 2005 08:10 PM Tuesday....a helicopter. Yeah Baby. Uh huh! That's what I'm talkin' about. Leslie Vintage 98 Productions Nov 18, 2005 04:46 PM Thanks for adding Vintage 98 Productions! See how Vintage 98 Productions can help your production... WWW.VINTAGE98.COM Chad Meisenheimer Nov 17, 2005 10:29 PM LMAO G. William Stechman Nov 17, 2005 10:28 PM PS I am Chad's father. Chad, it's Daddy... Give Daddy a hug... Takakakakakaka... Anything? No? G. William Stechman Nov 17, 2005 10:27 PM Oh yes... There will be blood. G. William Stechman Nov 16, 2005 10:53 PM Torturing and killing pretty people is my speciality! Todd Nov 16, 2005 10:43 PM What a fine looking cast! Defcon Jon Nov 16, 2005 04:47 PM New image of the cast out at Nevada... G. William Stechman Nov 16, 2005 10:38 AM Hey everyone! Thanks to everyone for making last night's shoot go perfectly - I had a lot of fun and all of the shots looked great. Anthony and Leslie - you guys did great with your dialogue and nailed everything. Crew as always did a great job and Lacie, you are the man, I mean - you know what I mean. The make up was really disgusting. A side note, before I offer to pose with blood on me next time, I will bring a change of clothes... See you all on Saturday - enjoy your next couple days, unless you are one of the producers or creative designers in which case the days off really don't matter... Love, The Papa Stech Chad Meisenheimer Nov 12, 2005 07:00 PM Yes, then we can make a broadway musical off it and win some Tonys for it. scott Nov 11, 2005 12:51 AM yes, i can't wait to see the animated/musical version of this film. Can't you see it? Chad Meisenheimer Nov 7, 2005 04:18 PM I thought Disney was going to release this for a 2007 release on Mothers Day? j/k lol Sean(The JediKnight and Rockstar) Nov 7, 2005 03:51 PM Blood, Saliva, Vomit, Semen, Urine, and Feces. Is this movie getting a G rating? ♥ KRIS IS MUH EVERYTHING ♥ Nov 5, 2005 12:35 PM hey!! *~CHiCkiTy~* Nov 3, 2005 04:24 PM Thanx everybody 4 filming at my house! I had soooooo much fun. You guys ROCK!!!! lol. :) Love Always, Ashley Aimee Nov 2, 2005 10:31 PM I want to say Thank You to everyone on cast and crew. Thank you to Todd and Greg for taking a chance and giving me this awesome opportunity! Thank you everybody for all of your individual help in making me feel comfortable and making sure I had everything that I needed from getting me a drink of water to valuable advice. I have never worked with such a fun group of people and a very compotent professional bunch. I know you all will have bright futures in the movie business. I wish I could work with you all forever. I got this sad kind of feeling when I realized that today was my last day of shooting. I realized I would miss you all. Now, my hopes go into seeing this movie kick ass and make more money than the Blair Witch Project, because our movie is ten thousand times better! Love, Aimee MaVeRiCk ShCmAvERiCk™ Oct 21, 2005 08:30 PM Thank you, Poodles! MaVeRiCk ShCmAvERiCk™ Oct 21, 2005 03:05 PM So...I was just wondering...uh...about imdb. Yes, the Internet Movie Database. How do we update that? I have had about 20 friends ask me about why I'm not on there, and if that hasn't changed what else is new, etc...so, um...yeah...what's the deal there? About T-Shirts...my brain is working...sort of...I'll let you know what it comes up with... Defcon Jon Oct 18, 2005 08:26 PM What sorta shirts ya'll want? Gimmee design ideas. BEHOLD INDIE: THE ALTER EGO Oct 18, 2005 07:40 PM Mmm.. Fangooorr-ia Chad Meisenheimer Oct 18, 2005 10:36 AM I dream of Fangoria t-shirts...... MaVeRiCk ShCmAvERiCk™ Oct 17, 2005 01:33 AM I'm dreaming of T-Shirts...creepy T-Shirts...yes, creepier than The Shining... I have a fever, Greg, and the only prescription is creepy T-Shirts! BEHOLD INDIE: THE ALTER EGO Oct 14, 2005 06:38 AM eat! eat all you want! it's over! bon apetit, sir. 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My Space Begins Downward
Adrants » My Space Begins Downward Spiral Send Tips, Gossip and News » About Contact Advertise Jobs My Space Begins Downward Spiral Nothing cool lasts for very long in this world. Now that millions have made MySpace their home for just about everything, many worried the acquisition by News Corp would changed things. Not so promised MySpace founders but alas they have. Many MySpace members link to videos on YouTube and, apparently, News Corp-owned MySpace doesn't like the practice. According to the Blog Herald , MySpace has been deleting any and all reference to YouTube from profiles. There's even a MySpace group fighting the censorship. MySpace came out of nowhere as the single most popular place to go for...well...anything. It can disappear just as quickly and be replaced by another. 23-Dec-05 »File under: Trends and Culture Comment (5) -- Subscribe to Adrants andreceive the daily contents of this site in your Inbox each business day. Recent Adrants Articles IKEA Causes Moral Dilemma With Winter Sale Ad » 'Coolertising' Provides Free Water » Coke Lies, Misleads With Fake 'Zero' Blog » SAK Adds Chicks to Ad Campaign » Apple MacBook Intro Causes Powerbook Post-Purchase Regret » User Bars Connect Brands to Forum Users » Penex Solves Perpetual Penile Distention » Bongo Grabs 'Laguna Beach' Cast For Campaign » Lynx Wants You to Wash Her » Adrants Fails to Notice Brooke Burke Burger King Viral » Trackback Pings TrackBack URL for this entry: http://www.adrants.com/mt/mt-tb.cgi/4221 Comments To be replaced by Facebook, perhaps? Posted by: Esoos Bobnar on December 24, 2005 02:57 AM Calm down. You must not use MySpace much, huh AdRants? Otherwise, you'd know a little more about what's going on, and wouldn't get all hysterical about sensationalizing this. This probably only means that MySpace is preparing its own upload-your-videos-of-high-school-girl-fights-and-Asian-teens-signing-karaoke service. Or, MySpace has finally gotten enough complaints about morons who link to auto-play videos on their profiles - which slows down everything on MySpace for everyone. Get the full story before you go crying "apocalypse" already. Posted by: well, duh on December 25, 2005 03:42 PM Calm down. You must not use Adrants much, huh Well Duh? We're all about sensationalizing the mundane, the idiotic, the irrelevant. Do you actually think MySpace would tell any reporter, blogger or anyone if they had plans in the works to launch their own video upload service? Of course not. Did we ask MySpace? Of course not? That's for "real" journalists, right? Us bloggers are, according to BrandWeek, just a bunch of losers regurgitating other's news. Besides anything as oh-so-hip or cool or whatever as MySpace is or ever was/will be never lasts. If this non-news YouTube thing doesn't alter the landscape, something ultimately will. And when that happens, we can proudly say, "You heard it here first!" :-) Now we've revealed our editorial strategy to all. Posted by: Steve Hall on December 26, 2005 01:30 PM I assume they are developing their own player so they can sell advertising and make some money off of the millions of idiots who use that piece of shit site. Posted by: anon on December 26, 2005 02:00 PM What the hell is MySpace? I love Friendster. Posted by: Dhaval M. on December 27, 2005 10:54 AM Post a comment Name: Email Address: URL: Remember Me? Yes No Comments: (you may use HTML tags for style) Send This to a Friend Email this entry to: Your email address: Message (optional): -- -- » AdRank » Bad » Best » Good » Worst » Administrivia » Announcements » Medium » Cable » Consumer Created » Desktop » Direct » Games » Guerilla » Human » Inflight » Magazine » Mobile/Wireless » Newspaper » Online » Outdoor » Packaging » Podcast » Point of Purchase » Poster » RSS » Radio » Specialty » Television » Weblogs » Yellow Pages » Subject » Agencies » Brands » Campaigns » Celebrity » Commercials » Creative Commentary » Industry Events » Opinion » Policy » Product Placement » Promotions » Publishing » Research » Sponsorship » Spoofs » Strange » Super Bowl » Tools » Trends and Culture » Viral » Word of Mouth » Weekly » 8-Jan-06 » 1-Jan-06 » 25-Dec-05 » 18-Dec-05 » 11-Dec-05 » 4-Dec-05 » 27-Nov-05 » 20-Nov-05 » All Archives © 2005 Adrants · home · about · contact · advertise · resources · network · jobs · send tips, gossip & news ·
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Whore Train
Diary of The Food Whore: It's A Good Thing There Was An Open Bar Cooks rule. thefoodwhore@yahoo.com Texas Caviar For The Friend in Virginia, or was that Ohio? Lemon Drop Martini My Drink of Choice New York Social Diary Ina Garten My Friend Martha Nigella (Love Her!) Jamie Oliver Benjamin Christie Cooking in Austrailia My Friend in Bodily Harm - Veg DaMomma (Da Crazy Momma) Elizabeth Soutter Life Happens She Lives In Hawaii And I Am Bitter (That's my line, not the name of the blog) Fantabulous Designer - Echo Tiny But Fierce Accidental Hedonist Culinary Epiphanies Dr. Alice Dooce Spiritual Ammo Function Junction This Fish Needs A Bicycle Vinography Grasp & Place Social Graces I Bet She Heard My Burp How Embarassing. It's A Good Thing There Was An Open Bar Turning The Tables? When Money is No Object New Look, New Stuff, Same Sarcastic Attitude. Better with Age...or was that Bitchier? So Many Great Blogs! Christmas (1) Costco (1) Deli Girl (1) Etc. (6) Fabulousness (3) Food (8) Holidays (1) Home (2) Just My Luck (1) Klutziness (7) People (6) Quest for Knowledge (1) Quirks (2) Thanksgiving (5) The Blog (2) The Car (1) The Family (7) The Grocery Store (5) The World (1) Tricks (23) Winter Storm Watch 2005!! (1) February 2005 January 2005 December 2004 November 2004 October 2004 September 2004 August 2004 July 2004 June 2004 May 2004 April 2004 March 2004 © 2004-2005 The Food Whore Photo by gsgs Design by Creative Echoes Turning The Tables? | Main | How Embarassing. It's A Good Thing There Was An Open Bar February 06, 2005 So we're milling about the reception room last night bidding on silent auction items when The Sister leaned over and asked, "Do you smell something burning?" I did. I had noticed it earlier, actually, and did a quick case of the tables to make sure the candles weren't fire jumping creating a case of possible mayhem. But it wasn't the candles. I took a sip of champagne and nibbled on my slice of brie and replied, "I think they have burned something we're about to eat and I am starting to re-think my logic in not taking more grapes of the champagne table for fear of looking like a pig." At the same time The Super Hyper Friend approached and asked, "Do you smell something..." With that, The Sister and I raised our eyebrows and tilted our heads in the direction of the kitchen. It all started out earlier in the day when I was doing a final check on the seating arrangements when The Competitive Caterer was there setting up the buffet stations. I smiled and said hello and got nothing in response. The Event chairperson was standing next to me and said, "I think you just got snubbed." "I did, indeed." "Bad blood?" "Oh, no. I think it's more of a mind game. He's trying to get the upper hand in attitude." "He's trying to beat you at the Attitude Game?" "Yeah." "And he's met you, right? I know very few people with as much attitude as you - and I mean that as a compliment." "No you don't." "You're right, I don't. But it is part of your charm." "Oh I think so, too." So the afternoon went on and just before I left to go home and get ready for the evening, I took one last opportunity to be nice. I said the tables looked fantastic and I couldn't wait for all the great food. I got nothing in response. So by the time I came back a few hours later I could smell a hint of burned something in the air, which is when I did my candle check. It dawned on me as I was walking passed the kitchen entrance that the smell was wafting into the dining room from there. And honestly, my heart fell. Not out of selfishness fearing that my food would be icky. But because anyone who's ever been in food service understands that shit happens - and it happens at the most inopportune times. Things burn, breakers blow and ovens die, things get dropped and broken. It's the nature of the business that most nights can run as smooth as silk and then there are nights that you can't even get the damn can opener to work. And I reminded myself that mocking those who ride the same train will only come back to haunt you. But then I saw The Competitive Caterer again and again I smiled, and again I got nothing. So I thought, "screw it - game on." Now - before I go on - let me say that the percentage of people who can't control themselves at a buffet is about 2 in every 10. And what I mean by, "cant' control themselves" is that they can't seem to get the main concept behind a simply tool like a tong and they throw food all over the damn table. So you almost need one person just overlooking tables and reaching in to clean up around the serving pieces just to keep it from looking like breakfast time at a frat house. It's also something we spend a lot of time bitching about in the kitchen. And as I saw last night, this group was no exception. Except The Competitve Caterer didn't have someone watching over the table to clean up the spills because it was a mess. It looked like The Tazmanian Devil had touched down in the salad greens and then took a swan dive into the mushroom sauce. Which, I later found out, was the offending burning smell coming from the kitchen. Beyond that, the beef was cold, the vegetables over done, and the breads were dry. And everyone at my table agreed that it was a good thing there was an open bar. And then I felt bad because God - it can happen to anyone. Your worst fear is that you'll run out of food or it will just be bad. And no matter how many times you do it and now matter how confident you get you keep that fear in the front of your brain so as not to get so cocky that you do dumb things like burn the mushroom sauce. As the night went on I observed that I was not the only one being snubbed and treated poorly. It became clear to me that The Competitive Caterer must not have received the memo from Whore School that stated you must always save the bitching for the kitchen and put on a big smile when your everywhere else. Pick only on the unruly and use every ounce of charm you have when dealing with the rest. And remember to always be on your best game in case someone in the room has a blog. Posted by Foodwhore at February 6, 2005 09:16 PM Well fine job for not pointing at him and shouting loser for all of the party to see. I mean in that guys neck! Who is able to work with, live with, drink with, party with, the people in our industry, and still have such a lack of respect. Civility is at the core of our industry. You say hello to the line when you clock in, you say hello to each wait and manager as you first see them during your day. If you were in a fist fight with the bus boy the night before, you still say hello and act like professionals while you have your jobs to do. But to snub another person who does the same job you do, twice in the same night? WTF? Don't think twice about posting his schoolyard behavior here. I would have put my hand to his chest to shake, then complimented his sauce and his "laser sharp" skills in overseeing the kitchen on such a well attended night. That was karma knocking on his door for some past due collections. I am enjoying your posts, keep it up. Paul Posted by: Paul at February 6, 2005 11:15 PM Sounds to me like their lack of class was reflected in the quality of their product - both food and service. Unfortunate for the customer who hired them and unfortunate for the guests. Posted by: HomefrontSix at February 7, 2005 08:01 AM Isn't it fun to know that you can be a whore, but that you are a high class whore vs. a competitive, charmless cretin? Looks like we know who WON'T be catering their next event! Posted by: veg4me at February 7, 2005 11:47 AM I never fail to leave your site without a deep chortle or three at every post. You are simply amazing. Don't stop !! Posted by: Alder at February 7, 2005 08:30 PM I hope you handed out business cards!! Posted by: Dr Alice at February 8, 2005 05:33 PM What a great post! I love your writing, and can't wait to read more of you. Thanks for activating my sense of humor during the early-morning, gotta-go-to-work coma... Posted by: Fingerineverypie at February 9, 2005 03:35 AM Powered by Movable Type 3.15